I stared at Doctor Ealing. It felt as though he had just told me that I would someday go to the moon, a rather impossible goal. There was no way he, or anyone else, would think me worthy of becoming a nurse or even training to be one. Even with my time working at Doctor Ealing's office, I never did enough to warrant a suggestion and I doubted my work during the explosion was of much use. The idea of being a nurse was absurd. Nurses were educated; I was not.

The entire thing was ludicrous, but Doctor Ealing look genuine. He looked at me and there was a gleam in his eye as though he expected me to take the offer there and then, but I couldn't. Since leaving the factory the concept of my future and what it would entail hardly had a second to fill my mind. When working for the Ealing's I thought that would be my future but since leaving I didn't want to think about it. My life as a servant was over because I could never get a reference and I had nothing else to contribute in terms of service.

Despite that, I didn't think being a nurse would be for me. I may not have been bothered by blood or anything that came with working in a Doctor's office, but being a nurse meant having more responsibility then I wanted. It would just end up drawing more attention to me and that was the last thing I wanted since being the centre of attention had never been a comfortable place. I would be happy if I spent the rest of my life doing my art in the small room at home.

"Me? A nurse?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, it's not as far-fetched as you might think. You were level-headed and calm during the match factory explosion despite having no formal training. It could be a good thing for you."

"Don't I have to have formal training to qualify? And be able to read and write."

"I might be able to make arrangements for you to train with us and take a practical and written examination at the hospital to prove yourself. Robert and I can help with that and your reading and writing have come on leaps and bounds over the recent months."

"I don't know, I don't think I'll be very good as a nurse."

"You don't have to answer right now, think about it. You are free to say no, I won't take offence."

"I will." I paused. "Think about it, I mean, not take offence.

Doctor Ealing chuckled to himself, took a sip from his glass and wandered off to the sweet table when he took a short-break biscuit and wandered off again. He almost looked to be in a daze, and it was rather amusing to witness. Still, as he went, I couldn't help but wonder why on earth he thought I would make a good nurse. There is far too much studying involved, and nurses were known for their bedside manner as well as being smart. I was neither of those things and I wouldn't even be able to pass the examination required.

I didn't want to think about it yet, especially if I had time to think about it and decide whether it was really something I wanted. My time at the ball was intended for fun, not for deciding what my future might entail if I decided to even think about it beyond the ball. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and drank the last of made in one gulp, placing the now empty glass on a passing tray.

From across the room, Tommy slowly shuffled his way over to me and once again offered me something from his plate; I took a small biscuit. He asked no question about what Doctor Ealing had spoken to me about, and I expected nothing less from him. Tommy never asked more than he felt he needed to know, and I expect watching the conversation unfold from the wall told him everything and he did not need to ask questions. Anyone else would have, but Tommy knew how to read people better than anyone.

We both turned our attention back to the dace as it came to end and joined in clapping for the orchestra, though Tommy struggled to clap with a plate. The group of dancers dispersed, and Lucy and Mathias stumbled over to us in fits of hysterical laughter whilst Suzanna stepped to the side with the mysterious suitor.

"Who is Suzanna with?" I asked as Lucy grabbed onto my arm to stop herself from falling over. All the dancing had made her slightly giddy.

"He said his name was Arthur, I didn't catch a last name," Mathias said.

"Who is he?"

"My cousin." Robert had grabbed a glass of lemonade and joined us; Maisie was nowhere to be seen.

"Your cousin?"

"Yes. Mother and Aunt Sybil had a brother, Henry. That's his son."

"Interesting, he seems to have taken a shine to Suzanna."

Mathias gestured to the other side of the room with his metal arm and we all turned, watching Suzanna and Arthur who appeared to be in deep conversation with one another. For a while, we always thought that it would be Suzanna and Jack as they had always been rather good friends, but Jack had moved on, somewhere north, and Suzanna didn't want to go with him. She had always been adamant that she wasn't ready or even wanted to find anyone to be romantically involved with, but it looked as though that had changed.

None of us joined in with the next dance as the orchestra started up again and people took to the centre of the room to take part. Not even Maisie approached Robert to expect a second dance and simply stood in the opposite corner of the room with her mother, looking less than impressed. Clearly, her first dance with Robert didn't live up to her expectation, though he seemed rather glad to not have to dance again. There was something exposing to dancing in front of so many people, especially if you are no good at it.

Instead, we gravitated slowly towards the sweet table and lingered there, taking things off whenever we wanted and watching the dance unfold without a hitch. I took another glass off lemonade off a passing tray and took a sip, savouring the bubbles and the sweet taste once again. All the adults in the room were drinking the wine that was also being passed around. I didn't plan on touching it, I saw what it did to my father, and I didn't intend to end up the same way.

"I saw you talking to Father earlier," Robert said, "I take it he was asking about possible nurse training?"

"How did you know about that?"

"It was my idea. I suggested it after the match factory explosion, after seeing how quickly you took to helping us out despite the lack of training. It took him a while to come around to the idea, though."

"He wasn't keen on it?"

"Not that. He wanted to make sure it wasn't complicated and wanted to iron out all the details before he approached you. What did you tell him?"

"That I would think about it. The idea of being a nurse just doesn't seem right to me, it's not something I ever really considered for myself."

"You would make a great nurse," Lucy cut in, peering around Mathias and looking as though she was about to take a bite out of a shortbread biscuit.

"I doubt it."

"You would, you have always been too hard on yourself. I seem to recall you always being one of the first to offer a hand to anyone injured at the factory, even before Agnes. You ended up knowing more than any of us when it came to the correct way of dealing with the known injuries. That and you've always been calm in a crisis, sometimes it was rather scary."

She raised an eyebrow at me and took a bite out of her biscuit. As much as I may have hated to admit it, and I did, she had a point. Although Agnes regularly treated minor injuries that became part of everyday life, I had been the one to jump in for the more serious injuries. By the time the foreman started the fire in the storeroom, I knew the best way to handle any of the injuries that the factory could throw at us, including getting hands stuck in machines or being scalped.

Still, that didn't mean I would make a good nurse. I knew how to deal with factory injuries and nothing more than that. Influenza, severe head injuries, knife wounds or smallpox were all a mystery to me, and I doubt I had the ability to remember just how they would be treated. My memory was bad at the best of times and under stress, those holes only got bigger. Being forced to sit an examination into something I knew very little about would be my worst nightmare.

I just didn't have the ability to sit through an examination regardless of how much help Doctor Ealing and Robert planned on giving me. Seven years at the factory had ruined any chance I might have had of doing anything productive with my life if I wanted to. It had taken away my ability to develop my reading and writing skills as well as mathematical ability. It had taken everything away from me and I would never get it back.

"Can we move on from this conversation? Please?" I asked as the dance came to an end and the clapping started.

"Fine, if you agree to dance with me," Robert said.

"I don't think that's a good idea, besides, we both saw what my dancing really looked like earlier on." I couldn't fight the smile that rose on my face.

"Neither am I, and I don't care whether it's a good idea or not. I thought tonight was supposed to be about having fun? Passing up an opportunity to dance, and possibly humiliate ourselves again, doesn't seem like a very fun move if you ask me."

"He's got you there," Tommy said.

"Alright, fine, but if I stand on your toes I'm not apologising. You know what you are getting yourself in for."

Robert didn't say anything, he just offered me his hand, which I begrudgingly accepted, and dragged me away to the centre of the room before the orchestra started to play. Unlike before, I felt more exposed approaching the dance with Robert, almost everyone in the room would have known who he was and that plans had been set in place for a potential betrothal to Maisie. No one knew who I was, and if they did, I doubt they were pleased to see me with him. I could practically feel Mrs Ealing's eyes burning into my back.

The orchestra started playing and Robert took the lead in the dance, clearly knowing more about it than I ever would. The dance seemed easier to remember than the one I had done with Tommy; it just became a series of walking back and forth rather than anything more intricate. Still, I hated feeling as though everyone's eyes were on me. I caught the eyes of some of those dancing with us and they all had the same look of disgust at the thought of someone like me being allowed in proximity to Robert.

If he noticed, he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he seemed to grip my hand a little tighter as if to tell those who were staring that he didn't care what they thought. Although it helped to relax me slightly, I knew the whispers that were going around and the comments before thrown our way. My burn was on full display, since the gloves didn't match my dress, and everyone felt as though they had to comment on it. It was as if they thought I didn't know it was there.

We danced until the last note was played and the moment the music stopped, I pulled my hands out of Robert's and joined in with the clapping before anyone could make any comments. After a few seconds of applause, we made our way back over to the others and Lucy gave me a knowing look, but I quickly looked away. Since she had first met Robert or seen us interact, she thought there might be something going on between us and I know that the dancing had only strengthened her idea.

"That looked cosy," she muttered as she handed me the glass of lemonade I had before Robert asked me to dance.

"About as cosy as falling asleep on snow," I said.

"Well, Robert looked happier. Happier than he was when he was with Maisie, anyway."

"That doesn't change the fact that everyone was staring at us."

"Everyone was staring at you when you and Tommy were dancing, why is now any different?"

"Because-" I didn't have an answer.

"I thought so. You seem to be the only one who can't see the way Robert looks at you and I must admit that it is rather annoying. Everyone else can see it, but you and it is obvious that he doesn't care what people think of him and who he may choose to be with."

"But I mind. Mrs Ealing did everything she did all those months ago because she thought something might have been going on between Robert and me. It's the only reason why she is pushing for courtship between him and Maisie and I expect confirming her thoughts will only make things worse. She's been glaring at me all evening."

"She won't do anything, not after the other day. Her relationship with Robert no doubt means more then how she feels about you and we both know that if she does anything else Robert will be out of that door before she can even apologise. He did you a favour when he stood up to her, she can't do anything to you without jeopardising the way Robert feels towards her. You just need to admit it to yourself, then we can all sleep peacefully at night."

She raised an eyebrow, turned on her heel and headed over to Mathias who had gravitated towards the sweet table yet again. He and Tommy spent most of their time eating things that we never had at the factory, all they thought about was food. Not that I blamed them, there had been a lot of new things exposed to us after the factory and a large majority of food that replaced the water-soup and cold porridge we had lived off of for so long.

I took a sip from my lemonade and turned my attention back to the main square of the room as I watched James and Kitty and Matthew Lily took to the floor to join in. James caught sight of me watching and pulled a face, clearly not too happy with dancing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Robert standing near the doorway with Lady Thatcher lurking beside him and Mrs Ealing not far off. It looked as though Lady Thatcher was preparing to step in if things got a little heated between Mrs Ealing and Robert.

Once again, any issues Robert had with his mother were on my shoulders and I knew that there was nothing I could do to rectify that. Lucy was right, Robert knew what he was getting in for and after the other day, I doubted that Mrs Ealing would do anything that dramatically affected their relationship. She had already fractured it and it would only take one incident to tip the scale completely and I knew that was down to me.

From across the room, Robert caught sight of me staring and smiled slightly, that stupid lopsided grin he did. The light from the chandelier caught his eyes and they seemed to glint mischievously and match the smile. More of his curls had escaped their hold and were started to spring up all of his forehead, it made him look ridiculous, but a good ridiculous. I don't know what it was, but there was something about him that caught my attention. Perhaps it had been what Lucy had said, perhaps it had been something else, but I saw him in a different light.

I turned away and made my way back to the others, ignoring the looks they were giving me after having caught me staring at Robert for longer than I should have. They didn't say anything as I took one of the tarts from the sweet table, which had almost been demolished by the number of people at the party. I expect Tommy and Mathias had something to do with it.

"Rosie?" James snuck up behind me. "It's time we took our leave, Matthew is having kittens over Sebastian and I might have too much to drink."

"Alright, give me a second."

"We'll be in the entranceway."

He turned and walked back to the doorway, where Matthew looked as though he was about to tear his own hair out. I muttered a goodbye to the others, my eyes searching the crowd for Robert who appeared to have been roped into another dance with Maisie. Rather than interrupt, I walked past and joined the others in the entrance where James passed me my shawl and gestured me outside and into the carriage. Christopher undid his bowtie and slumped back against the seat as the carriage pulled away from the dance hall.

The drive back took no time at all, but I could feel my eyes starting to droop and I couldn't wait to crawl into bed and sleep forever. When we arrived back home, Matthew rushed to check on Sebastian whilst James immediately sent me to bed with strict instructions not to get out of bed until at least mid-day. I was more than willing to comply with that order.

I reached my room and changed into my nightdress, settling down into the sheets and curling up into a ball. The candle beside my bed flickered and I reached under the pillow and pulled out a crumpled-up piece of paper that I kept underneath it. I unfolded it and read the few words written on it, the words that I had kept with me since the night I had left the Ealing's household.

Robert's letter.  

~~~

A/N - We're back! Chapter Twenty Three is here with an estimated 12 left to go! I've just finished Chapter Thirty so it's a little closer for me but you guys are not ready for the drama!

Also, if you guys have the time and want to do me a favour, please check out Maddox Academy over on my profile! I'm looking for feedback on the first couple chapters so any help would be greatly appreciated. 

Anyway! Rosie has said she will think about the offer. Do you think she should take it? Why/Why Not? What about the letter? Does it mean something?

Comment below!

Dedication - This chapter is dedicated to johannavickydobbie who mass-commented across the three books! Thank you for your support :)

First Published - June 16th, 2020