Content Warnings: discussion of Mac getting assaulted, religious guilt, manipulation, one homophobic slur.

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Dennis was manipulative and Mac had known that from the beginning, but he always thought that he would never get manipulated, and especially not by his closest friend.

Part of him wished that he could pinch himself awake, taking him out of this waking nightmare that Dennis had orchestrated, but the second that Dennis' lips had crashed against his own in the bar, stunning him too much to even move, he knew that his reality—his safe haven that he'd built for himself was crumbling.

That kiss was a week ago.

He prayed and prayed, begging God to believe that he didn't enjoy it and he was still made in God's likeness, but he had received no indication of him caring, causing the already thin skin of his faith to be sliced.

Mac got up, checking the refrigerator for beer, only to be met with empty shelves. Dennis was supposed to buy some, but he never had clearly. For the past week, he had avoided the sociopath like the plague, not heading outside or messaging back his friends who seemed to only message him out of obligation.

When Dennis was out, he had the luxury of the entire apartment, but as soon as he heard the slide of key into lock, he bolted into his room, locking the door behind him.

The night prior, Dennis brought a woman home, drawing out the courtship process and making sure Mac could hear.

Mac cried himself to sleep that night.

He hated Dennis for taking advantage of him. He hated how Dennis had used the fact that Mac was in love with him against him, knowing that he had enough created power over the stronger man that he could've done worse and Mac would've just allowed it, eyes screwed shut and hands clasped, praying for his sins to be absolved. Dennis should be the one praying.

The entire ordeal had forced him to come to terms with his sexuality quickly. He was gay and he loathed it. He was pure, unregulated sin.

Man, could he go for a drink.

Dennis was almost certainly stashing alcohol in his room, just waiting for Mac to go looking for it, but he wouldn't bite. Who knows what Dennis may have laced the drinks with. For all he knew, he would be drugged and would wake up naked and tied to the bed.

He knew Dennis and he knew Dennis well. This was definitely not out of the realm of insanity that he worked within and he feared more than anything being taken advantage of.

But maybe he deserved this. Maybe this was all karmic punishment for being a fag. Maybe this was God's plan for him all along and he just had to trust that this would set him straight.

Once more he got on his knees, head bowed and hands pressed together. Heavenly Father, if you're listening, please smite Dennis for what he has done to me. I have never asked you to smite a person before, but he has made me live in fear, afraid that he would touch me again.

Dennis should be the one praying.

Mac did research on the topic of sexual assault after the incident and had come to the conclusion that he had been assaulted.

When he recalled how Dennis traced the outline of his dick through his pants, he felt nauseous all over again, holding back the wave of bile that was rising in the back of his throat.

I was sexually assaulted, God. I know how dumb it sounds because I'm a dude, but please believe me, for once I'm not in the wrong.

Dennis had been right about something, though. Throughout all the time they'd known each other, he always talked about how women would sleep with him because of the 'implications' if they didn't and Mac had brushed them off as him just being creepy, but he understood finally. He understood how those women felt as they just stood there, closing their eyes till the assault was over.

Dennis made him keep his eyes open the whole time, though, maintaining eye contact as he groped him.

Mac had willed himself not to cry as it happened, feeling disgusted in himself that he just allowed it to happen. After all, he was stronger than him by a long shot, but he just couldn't move.

God, a beer would help him right about now—no, getting black out drunk would help the most. All he wanted to do was forget.

Dennis Reynolds sexually assaulted me, God. Do you hear me? I know you probably aren't fond of me since I'm gay, but I'm working on it and I'll be straight again soon, but if you could help me, I'd be grateful and would step on the gas with the whole 'turning straight' process.

God, if you are really out there, looking out for me at all, help me.