Chapter Nineteen

The dialing tune of the phone was torturous. His phone was placed on the passenger seat and the sound from the speaker stretched over for what seemed like hours. Zahid's grip on the steering wheel tightened, as he pushed the accelerator even harder. With every passing ring of the phone, his restlessness only grew. His heart pounded wildly in his chest, like a ferocious wave crashing onto the shores. 

Pick up. Pick up. Pick up-

"The number you are trying to dial is not available at the moment-" 

As the monotonous tone echoed around his car, Zahid hit his hand on the steering wheel, driving at a hundred and thirty kilometers an hour. He called again, and again, and every time the robotic voice would blare from his phone, Zahid's stomach would sink. 

Zahid drove, and he drove blindly. The red signals meant nothing to him at the moment and as his car rushed through the roads, almost hitting many others- horns blared, people got out and cursed at him, but Zahid was deaf to all of this. 

His brain was loud. It was too loud for his liking and it had already started to fathom all sorts of possibilities. For Zahid, everything had faded into the background. He was only aware of his car that sped through the streets, of his conscience that repeated the same name over and over again, and of his trembling hands that gripped onto the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. 

In a recollection of events that were blurred in his memory, Zahid stopped his car when the house came into sight. As if everything but Amal was just a haze in his mind, he 
advanced into the house. His heart leapt in fear, his hands shaking so terribly- he nearly dropped the key. 

Ya Allah, let her be safe. Please, please let her be fine-

She was in the lounge, a book in her lap and her confused gaze settled on him. As Amal got to her feet, Zahid squeezed his eyes shut, relief flooding through his body. 

"Zahid? What is-"

She stopped short when Zahid pulled her towards him, his arms wrapping around her shoulders in a tight embrace. He was completely out of breath; his chest rising and falling and his breath withering as he pulled her even closer. 

"Alhamdulillah." His whisper sent a tremor down Amal's spine, and as she pulled away from him, her worried gaze took in his condition. 

Disheveled hair. Pale. Up-turned collar. Trembling shoulders. 

With a sharp intake of breath, Zahid felt all of the energy drain out of him. The adrenaline that had him so pumped up had vanished. His heart-beat still not steady, Zahid fell on the sofa, his face in his hands. 

He felt Amal sit down next to him. She did not say a word, just sat with him; her own silent way of telling him that she was there. Right next to him. As the goose pimples finally settled down,and Zahid found his voice. 

"You weren't picking up."

An excuse. A lame attempt at trying to ignore that which was right in front of him. 

"My phone died when I was out with Maham. Zahid-" Amal lightly touched his shoulder- "What's wrong?" 

Zahid raised his head, finally meeting her gaze. She was looking at him almost helplessly, worry lining her features, and with another deep breath, Zahid started to talk. He told her everything; of how he had been offered bribery, and the words Faaris had spoken when leaving. He told her of the envelope he had found on the lobby table and of the two pictures that had fallen out of it, clearly, a message of threat. 

By the time he was done, Amal had grown really silent. Her brows were drawn together and Zahid could sense the same fear that had gripped him, now wrapping its claws around her. 

In the tense silence that settled within them, Zahid felt the fear slither around his heart. It enveloped the whole of his conscience, for the pictures were proof that by taking on this case, Zahid was putting Amal in danger as well. Every time he would close his eyes, the picture in the envelope would flash in his mind and his heart would go restless. 

"I preferred dealing with you the easy way. You're going to regret this later on." 

Faaris's words echoed in his mind. Massaging his temples, Zahid felt a helplessness take over his form; until it hit him. 

"You can go home," Zahid snapped his head towards Amal, the idea forming perfectly in his head. 

Amal blinked. "What-"

"You can go to Islamabad." Zahid had started to pace the room now, everything making complete sense. With Amal going back to her parents' house, Zahid did not have anything to fear. "During the time I'm working on this case, you can go back to Islamabad. It won't be dangerous-"

"No." Amal pursed her lips, her stony gaze fixed on Zahid. "I'm not going."

"Amal, you don't understand," Zahid sat down next to her, "It's a perfect plan. It's too dangerous for you to be here anymore. If you go back home, I'll quickly finish this case-"

"This is my home, Zahid!" Amal cut him off, flustered at his suggestion, "And what about you? Isn't it just as dangerous for you as it is for me?" 

Zahid did everything he could to try to convince her. He tried using logic: in Islamabad, Amal would be safer. She would have her family with her, and it would be harder for Raza's men to track her down. He would be able to work without worrying about her as well. 

He grew indignant. He told her that this was not something she could be stubborn about, that threats from Shahid Raza were no joke, and if she really cared about both herself and him, she would leave. 

Zahid begged. He grabbed her hand and begged her to leave. Two weeks. Just for two weeks. He told her to make this sacrifice for his sake; for the peace of his heart. 

Amal felt her vision blur but she blinked back her tears, pulling her hand away. "Stop, Zahid," her voice was shaky. The fact that Zahid had used every measure he could to convince her to leave worried Amal. His state was enough a reason to concern her, but Zahid's suggestion was even more troubling. Everytime he would tell her to leave, saying that her leaving would grant him a peace of mind, her heart would break.

"You think this is all about you? If I listen to you and go to Islamabad, your heart will be at peace, but what about me?" A lone tear made its way down her cheek and Amal inhaled sharply. "What about my heart, Zahid?" 

Would I ever be able to live in peace knowing that anything could happen to you at any time and I won't even be by your side?

It hurt. Zahid's heart panged painfully in his chest. He hated this. His eyes moved towards Amal's, his heart softening but his gaze stony. 

"One of us will have to make a sacrifice, then, won't we?" 

"No! We don't have to make a sacrifice, Zahid. We'll be fine. We- we can fight together-" Amal made a move to grab Zahid's hand but he pulled away. 

"Fine, Amal? Can you guarantee that?" he challenged, his eyes ablaze, "What if something happens..." he broke off, the very thought sent a tremor down his spine like no other. His heart seared from pain. He was convinced that he had forgotten this feeling but now it came back to him so intensely, it shook his entire form. 

"If something is supposed to happen to me- it will happen even when I'm in Islamabad," Amal squeezed her eyes shut," Zahid, I signed up for this when I married you, didn't I?"

Zahid gave up. He squeezed his eyes shut, his head resting against the back of the sofa. He could feel himself shattering under the weight of the fear that now hung over him like a dark cloud. Zahid had never felt this scared before... this helpless. 

"Yeah, and that's what I regret." 

His voice was barely audible, muttered under his breath, but Amal heard him alright. She inhaled sharply, his words searing through her heart. "You regret marrying me?" 

"You know that's not what I mean-"

"No, Zahid, I don't know anymore-" 

"Yes! Yes, I regret getting married!" Zahid let out, his voice rising and his jaw locked as he met her gaze. "Love makes you weak."

Zahid's outburst was followed by a thick silence. Amal only just stared at Zahid, her heart shattering into a million pieces. Zahid's chest heaved up and down, his rage vanishing and immediate regret crashing over him.

"Amal-" Zahid moved to grab her arm, but Amal pulled out of his grasp, getting up to her feet. 

"Go solve that case of yours, Zahid," she hissed, barely even sparing him a glance as she moved towards their bedroom, the door slamming close behind her. 

The slam of the door echoed in the living room and Zahid put his face in his hands, his heart sinking in despair. In the bedroom, Amal leaned against the door, the tears finally escaping her eyes and flowing down her cheeks. 

Assalamualaykum.
This chapter was...oof, such an intense chapter. The emotions, the feelings- ai, I've put my soul and heart into it. 

This was an interesting argument, but whose point of view do you understand more? Do you think that Zahid is justified in feeling the way he does, and should Amal really listen to him and leave for Islamabad?

Let me  know what you think down in the comments!