I wake up with a start. I shoot straight up after I see who it is, like a bullet.

I still can't believe it.

I thought Javier was tolerable.

I thought he liked me.

Turns out that wasn't the case.

I need some time to clear my head. I put on a pair of pants and dont even bother with a shirt or shoes before sneaking out of the lodge and onto beach.

It's not like I feel utterly betrayed, but I'm just a bit confused at the moment.

Why would he trip me up purposefully to get me killed? Maybe it was an accident or a joke or something? But then have me push the little girl too? It can't be a coincidence. It must've been planned. Was the little girl in on it?

Okay I think I might be overthinking things a little here, but I don't know what else to think. Staring out at the sea and having the waves lapping over my feet is a little calming though...

That is until I hear footsteps. It gets even worse when I find out who those footsteps belong to.

I roll my eyes as she sits down next to me. "You again."

"Why do you have such a hate towards me?" Zara replies to my rudeness.

I scoff at her. "Because you poke your nose in where it doesn't belong, that's why."

"Am I wrong?"

"Again, that's none of you're business.'

"It is if you feel the same despair as me whenever you think of them."

I look away from her and stare out to them sea again. "And why do you care?"

Dammit, her words hold so much truth.

"Because the despair I feel is so great I cannot imagine how you must feel."

"I'm just fine." Well as of right now, I'm not but its not like I'm gonna tell her.

"Mhm."

"What're you doing out here anyways?"

"I heard you sneaking out and wanted to see if you were okay."

"How considerate of you."

"So what happened just now? You look like you had a bad dream..."

"Not really..."

"A memory?"

"Yea, you could say that."

"What was it about?"

"Why should I tell you?"

She shrugs. "Just curious."

I groan. "Fine."

I take a deep breath and let it all out at once.

"Ijusfoundoutthatmytolerablrefriendisresponsibleformydeath."

Gosh that doesn't sound very pretty when I say it out loud does it, no matter how pretty the person saying it is.

Somehow Zara manages to understand what I just said.

"Hmmmm... Well if they were just tolerable then its not worse case scenario."

This girl actually really seems to get me.

"But he still is responsible for my death."

"That is true."

Its silent for a while after this, until a question that pops into my head causes me to break the silence.

"Say Zara, what is your story anyways?"

Zara seems to ponder for quite a time before she answers. It seems like I've struck a nerve.

"I've never told anyone this before, but I feel like we're really very similar and you wouldn't tell anyone, so I'll tell you the main details.

Someone threatened to kill my whole village if I did not kill my best friend. I couldn't be selfish and let the whole village die. So I did it. Then her brother, who I saw like a brother too, killed me out of revenge."

Everything sounds silent for a moment, even the rustling of the trees and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. I blink.

"That's messed up."

"I am aware."

"But you're seriously gonna let that get you depressed?"

Zara looks at me in a weird way, like I'm crazy, her eyes wide.

"You did what any rational person would do. Even I would do that." On second thought, if I really liked the best friend then I'd probably be selfish but its not like I have any best friends, and I'm sure as hell not telling her this.

"Just think if it like this. You made since profit. One life for hundreds."

What am I doing with my life? Why am I comforting her? It must be because I'm so confused by then news. I get up and brush the sand off my pants.

"I'm gonna go lay down for a bit. Thanks for the talk."

As in walking away she shouts. "Hey Benjamin do you want to talk about it?"

By 'it' I'm assuming this means her. I say nonchalantly, "Not particularly."

"Well if you ever do need to talk about it, you have got someone you relate to right here. I will always be okay to talk."

I give her a dismissive wave of my hand and say "Yea, sure."

*

I barely get any sleep that night. After the confusion leaves me, all I have left is anger and a hunger for revenge. When I sit up in bed the next morning with barely any sleep I see that there are visible bags under my eyes. I just couldn't get any sleep, I was too busy thinking of evil plots to get back at him. I'll get my revenge if its the last thing I do.

Depsite getting no sleep whatsoever, it seems that I'm the last one up as everyone is already having their breakfast. I'm walking down the steps when I hear my name mentioned in the conversation.

Its Imogen speaking about me. I stop in the middle of a step, being careful not to let it creak and reveal my presence.

"Okay Casey, did you and Benjamin have a fight yesterday? Because he's been acting sulkier and broodier than usual, and I know you like to observe, but you're being far too quiet right now."

"Nothing happened between us. He's just being overdramatic."

Exuse me?! Overdramatic?! I know what I saw!!! I almost stumble off the steps from this atrocity of a sentence.

"And Zara, you're acting perkier than usual, what's up?"

"Nothingggggggg."

"Okay then, if you say so."

By some mystery Casey shouts "Benjamin you can come in now, we're done talking about you."

Shit. My covers been blown. Mission abort. Mission abort.

Too late I've been caught. I saunter into the kitchen, giving everyone the best grin I can while sleep deprived. No one falls for it though.

"Hey Benjyyyy..." Oh my god Imogen stop speaking to me like I'm a child. "Are you okay there? You look like you haven't slept at all."

I grin at them. "That's cuz I haven't. I set myself a challenge to stay awake all night and I did it by thinking about how handsome I am."

Imogen rolls her eyes. "Of course you did."

*

After breakfast when Imogen sends everyone apart from me to do their thing, she quickly pulls me to the side when I'm just about to leave.

I groan. "What do you wannnnnt."

"We need to talk."

"About?"

"About what the hell happened to you since yesterday."

"I don't know what you're taking about."

"Don't lie to me. Casey's been acting strange, Zara's acting happy and you look like you didn't sleep a wink one night."

"I've already told you, I didn't-"

"What the real reason you didn't sleep last night?"

I huff at her. "Fineeeee. I just had a bad dream and couldn't go back to sleep after wards okay?"

"See how hard was that? And what happened between you and Casey last night?"

"Enough of the interrogation already."

"I'll stop when you've answered all my questions."

"Oh my gosh you're so stubborn. We had a... disagreement, okay?"

"And between you and Zara?"

"We made up."

"Great so you ruined one friendship and made another."

"Who said that I was ever friends with any of you?" I raise my eyebrows at her words.

"Whatever you say, Benjy." I roll my eyes at that disgusting nickname. "Go get some food for us, will you?"

I never really questioned this before. "Where does the food come from?"

"The pickup point."

"Which is where...?"

"Why don't you go find out?

*

I slam the door of the lodge behind me as I walk in, even more exhausted than I was this morning. I know we have buffs here like not getting hungry or thirsty, but exhaustion comes to affect eventually if you stay up long enough.

As for the food? No luck. First I went through the city to see if there were any grocery stores or something, and then I went to the countryside to see if farms were a thing here. Here's a surprise. They're not.

I looked in every nook and cranny of this place and couldn't find a single crumb.

Imogen peeks her head out from the kitchen, a cookie in her mouth.

"How did the food search go?" She sprays crumbs everywhere as she says this.

"Do you see any food with me?" I say in annoyance.

Imogen chuckles. "Nope!"

Hold on. How come she's eating food when she asked me to go get some? It seems awfully fishy...

Oh my god what did I just do.

I narrow my eyes. "Imogennnnnnnn..."

Imogen squeaks. "Oh snap he found me out." She runs into the kitchen. "Elijah, hide me."

I walk with purpose into the kitchen, ready to put her into a chokehold or something crazy, but I stop in my tracks because she is hiding behind Elijah, who is big and muscly and tall. I know I'm super strong because I'm amazing and all that but I'm not stupid. He could easily knock me out in one punch.

"How come you sent me out there to get food when somone else went to go get it?" I feel very uncomfortable under Elijah's formidable gaze, its like his eyes are knives piercing into my forehead.

"No one went to go get food. It regenerates every morning." She grins goofily. "I just thought you could use a bit of a distraction."

I roll my eyes at her, despite Elijah being right there with his arms crossed towering above me.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed now." I want to leave the room and escape this scary dude asap.

"Night Benjy. Can you not challenge yourself to stay awake this time?"

"Sure. Whatever you say my lady."

I grab an apple and stalk to my room, but not before seeing the corner of her mouth twitch.

*

As I lie in bed that night I secretly thank Imogen because yes, I did need a distraction. Thank you.