I take a deep breath before knocking on the door to Harper and Ariah's room. I'm nervous to talk with Harper after confirming her identity, what if she has a grudge against me and that's why she concealed it?

"Come in!" I suck it up and just charge in.

"Ariah's not here, is she?" I definitely don't want to do this with her listening in.

"Nope, she's been doing jobs on and off all day since she's amongst the most unscathed from yesterday. What do you need?"

"We need to talk."

Harper closes her eyes and smiles softly. "So you finally remembered, huh."

"Mhm, why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted you to remember of your own accord and I didn't want to bombard you or bring back bad memories." She laughs at my expression, clearly seeing the doubt on my face. "Seriously, I have nothing against you."

She pats the spot on her bed next to her, gesturing for me to sit down. I slump down on her bed and ask "Why don't you hate me? I-I killed her. I killed your sister after you died to save her." There I said it. I admitted it outloud.

"Of course I was very upset when I found out my sister was dead. I was devastated, especially since she was only seventeen. But you didn't mean to do it. And she knew that. When I picked Leah up from her death point, she told me that she didn't blame you. Yes you made some mistakes, got into some shady business, and you have regrets, but she loved you even after she died. I don't know where she is now, but she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. If she can forgive you, then so can I."

I stare at Harper in awe. She doesn't hate me? And Leah doesn't either? It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and now I can walk around just a little bit lighter.

Since I haven't responded, Harper continues to speak. "You know, you've changed a lot since when you were little. It took all I had not to hug you when you first walked in with Imogen.

"Have I? I've been handsome this whole time, and the only way I've changed personality wise is negative. I see you haven't changed at all though. You're tiny now, and I'm older than you!"

She glares at me. "Shut up, I'm supposed to be twenty six! How did you manage to be narcissistic, self deprecating and insulting at the same time?!"

"Geez, sorry. This is what happens when you live a messed up life"

"What the hell even happened after I died? I heard some of Leah's side, but there are a lot of things which happened with you. For one, I remember you being confident but definitely not narcissistic."

"Well in summary my home life was pretty messed up and I developed the mindset 'If no one loves me, then I might as well love myself.' Leah was always there to knock me down several pegs if needed though, so I wasn't too bad.

We got together when I was thirteen, she was fourteen. We were truly in love, and although my parents didn't approve, we didn't care.

When I was sixteen I got kicked out for several different reasons and I happily left to pursue my dream of being a magician. Leah continued to support me and keep in contact while I travelled around the states.

Soon after though, I got into some dodgy business when I was desperate and I got trapped in it. They got Leah involved and kidnapped her. When I rushed to save her, I tried to kill one of the kidnappers and they used her as a shield. And... I guess that's when you met Leah again.

I went back to my parents in Arizona and after a lot of begging, they agreed to let me stay a while. It was torture there, they made my life miserable so I left again. And then after that, I died...

Wait a minute... we died in the same way. Oh my gosh I feel so bad since I didn't mean to push that girl out of the way and you willingly risked your life to push Leah out of the way..."

When I look at Harper, I'm surprised to see tears in her eyes and streaming down her face. I had sort of been rambling without emotion; I don't think I can cry anymore tears after the beach.

Harper throws herself at me to embrace me in a hug. "That sounds horrible Benjamin, I can't believe you had to go through all that while I was up here."

Not knowing what else to do, I awkwardly pat her on the back and mumble "It's fine, it's in the past now, not that big of a deal."

 She lets go of me and delicately wipes the tears off of her face. "But it does affect you right? You can't hold a knife, I saw you on the first day of training."

So that was her. That's one mystery solved. I guess she does actually care. "Yea maybe... but Imogen is helping me with that."

"Imogen huh..." She has a weird look in her eyes, and I don't like it. "Do you have a crush on her?"

I almost choke at her words. "What on EARTH would make you think that?!"

"You only ever let Leah call you Benjy."

"I've told her over and over to stop calling me that, but she never does, not my fault!" I feel my cheeks heating up despite my denial.

"You're blushing though, that has to mean something!"

"No, I'm just mad at you for suggesting that!"

"I know you still love Leah, but it's okay to fall in love again you know?" She says in a softer tone. "Leah would be happy for you, and I would be too."

"It's not like anyone would fall in love with my messed up self anyways..." I huff.

"Benjamin, all of us here are young people who died way too early in life, we're all messed up one way or another. Plus, you've changed since you arrived here. Before you were rude and closed off, and now you're still rude and closed off, but slightly less." Before I can interject with a 'hey!', she continues "You can get along relatively well with everyone here and you're mostly civil, you're helping people arrive to the next life and you're fitting in with everyone now. You're part of this family now, whether you like it or not."

Another person who brings up me being part of a family. I guess they really do accept me here, even though they know how I am and what I've done.

I can't help feeling this strange fuzzy feeling that I haven't felt in a long time from developing.

Hello, long time no see on this book! Life has been hectic so I haven't really had much time to update(so much for updating in a week), and this chapter is quite short compared to my last chapters but I hope you like it. Our Benjy-poo is finally learning how to forgive himself, I'm so proud of him ^-^

I also haven't planned any chapters after this point so I'm sort of winging it (altho I have a main idea of the plot). I hope I don't get a sagging middle haha. Anyways, it's gonna get even more interesting from here I'm so excited.

Okay it's been like a month since I've written this^^ and I haven't published yet. I did fully plan out the rest of the book tho. Boy, are we in for a ride.

Lastly, please check out my mystery book, Paths of Fate. It was my entry for the ONC and because I forgot to publish my prologue I unfortunately I didn't qualify (at least that's what I tell myself), but I have everything planned out so I'm super excited to write it!

See u in the next update (very soon!)