ChapterTwentySeven:Exposed

FLASHBACK-Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Alex put on his jacket as he was about to leave with some of his bandmates. They had a photoshoot with some of the Dare2Dream cast for a teen magazine. It was a photo-story that juniorConnect would usually do for this particular publication. Those things were fan favorites, and he liked doing them.

It was early in the morning. He glanced at Caleb's bed, wondering if he was asleep. He wasn't, but Alex knew that guy had a gig later that day with Faye. He didn't feel like going into the kitchen to make a quick toast, but he could feel his stomach growling.

Alex mentally groaned as he was sure Caleb would be in the kitchen. He was sure his bandmate was probably having a lean breakfast that his hired cook had made for him. Yes, Caleb actually did hire a cook, but they were only for him. Everyone else in the band were stuck with mystery meat and strange-looking porridge that probably came from a hundred years ago.

Alex went to the kitchen, wanting to shut his stomach up. He put two pieces of bread into the toaster, though he could smell the fresh food. Maybe Alex was jealous that Caleb was treating himself well. After all, the Scottish guy was the most popular member and the lead male singer. Alex was just a dancer who was also popular.

The other part of him was also tired of Caleb flaunting his position. He truly let it get to his head. He knew Jerrod was beyond over this. The girls would roll their eyes at Caleb.

"Aww, only eating toast today?" he heard Caleb taunting him.

Alex placed the warm bread onto a plate and muttered, "Shut up and eat your food."

"What's that? I don't understand peasant talk."

Alex glared at him. The constant pushing was reaching his limit. He wasn't sure how much longer he could play the non-confrontational guy any longer. Maybe he should let his bad boy-style hair and jacket do the talking.

Alex got into Caleb's face and said venomously, "You're no better than we are. Just because you get to be 'popular' and be the 'face' of this fucking 'band' doesn't mean you should treat us like shit."

Caleb chuckled, "Alex, the only one who would think that is you, but that's cause you're projecting. You're the one who think he's the shit, not me. You're the one who's so full of himself. I'm still me. You're the one who's changed. I mean, I heard you did photo of yourself with your shirt exposing your abs. You really think you got a six-pack underneath your shirt? You're still a lanky arse!"

Alex gritted his teeth. "I'm not the one full of himself."

"You're sure? I mean, you still have fans desperate to see you when they've got me!"

Alex watched Caleb take a piece of the sausage he cut up. He put it in Alex's face, as if to taunt him with good, solid food. Caleb put the piece into his mouth.

Alex asked, "Why do you keep taunting me? Saying lies about me?"

Caleb stood up from his chair and said sternly, "Alex, maybe you should stop telling lies about yourself. Face the facts; you're full of yourself, you think you're better than all of us. Oh, and that you're actually gay."

Alex's eyes widened at the last statement. He knew Caleb alluded to maybe believing the rumors, but to actually hear that from his own bandmate was shocking. He felt anger rising up inside his veins, into his head. He wanted to fight back. He could feel his hand balling up into a fist.

"Fuck. Off," Alex spat into Caleb's face. It was all he could muster up before grabbing the toast.

He saw Sarah and Holly at the entrance of the house. They were staring at him, probably wondering what exactly happened.

Alex took a bite out of his toast and said, "Let's go."

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PRESENT DAY-Friday, April 21, 2006

Alex watched his stylist fix up his hair into a blonde spiky mess. The concert in Birmingham was another sold-out show. Connect8 may have a while before they were to go on stage, but it didn't mean they couldn't get ready.

Alex stared at his hair. He knew his messy spikes were what drove his fans crazy; even he liked them himself. The more he studied it, the more he noticed his hair looked fried. He knew he had some relatives that had hair loss. He hoped that wouldn't happen to him, but he was concerned if the blonde dye was going to accelerate the chances.

He heard loud voices outside the Connect8 guys' dressing room, then a thud against the wall. He looked at Jerrod and Mason, who seemed shocked.

Alex got up from his chair and said, "I'll go check it out."

He walked out of the dressing room to see Andrew pinning Derrick up against the wall with his arm. He was shocked to see this. Why was Andrew doing this to his own bandmate? It was almost like he was watching Caleb doing the same thing, which, luckily, never happened.

Then he overheard what Andrew said to Derrick with venom coming from his voice: "You don't fucking tell this to anyone. Not Amanda. Not Alyson. No one else. If you do, you'd be outing Alex. And we don't want another Libby situation, do we?"

Another Libby situation? Outing Alex? It was like Alex just walked into a middle of a fight that he had no idea was going on. He tried to figure out what was going on, why Andrew was saying these things.

Andrew continued, "Now, keep your damn mouth shut about this. Let Amanda and Alex enjoy each other."

Derrick asked, seemingly hesitant, "What...what about you and Alex?"

Alex's eyes widened. Derrick found out about him and Andrew? How? He was sure everything was kept secret. He felt scared of Amanda finding everything out. He could, somehow, get outed to the public.

His eyes met with Andrew's, who was clearly fuming, as he walked away. He wasn't sure if Andrew will talk to him after the concert. He had a sinking feeling that his secret relationship might be over. He didn't want it to, but he knew there was an expiration date.

He knew Andrew would never leave Alyson.

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Alex walked to his hotel room that he shared with the guys. He was ready to fall asleep. He kept his emotions at bay while on stage, but there were moments he wondered how the fans would react to the truth about him. Would they be okay with him? Will they support him? What about the trolls that lived inside his website? Will they gloat at the news?

As he unlocked the door, he felt his shoulder being tapped. He turned to see Andrew standing there.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

Alex wanted to delay the inevitable, but he couldn't. He said, "Yeah. Just let me drop off my bag."

He opened the door, dropped his bag at the entrance, and closed the door. He followed Andrew to one of the floors inside the hotel. He was sure he was nowhere near either his band's or Andrew's band's rooms. No, it seemed they were the hallway for the regular people.

Andrew sat at a corner on the wall; Alex sat next to him.

Andrew said, "Derrick knows."

Alex raised an eyebrow and asked, "How?"

"I don't know. He just somehow knew."

Alex looked away, letting what Andrew said sink in. Andrew continued, "Derrick won't tell anyone, not even Amanda, so don't worry about him."

Alex bit his lip, not wanting to ask this question, but he did: "What happens to us?"

"We can't be together anymore."

Alex closed his eyes, feeling his heart being broken into a million pieces. For once, a boy broke his heart, further confirming who he was.

Andrew continued, "I really like being with you, but if we continue with this, everyone will know, including your own bandmates. I'm doing this to protect you."

Alex looked at Andrew and asked, "You're not doing this for Alyson?"

He noticed Andrew grimacing at the question. It seemed there some truth there, but Andrew probably didn't want to admit it.

Andrew said, "Yes, Alyson's a part of it."

"How do you think she'll feel if finds out about us?"

Andrew chewed on his lip ring and said, "Upset, and I wouldn't blame her. I would be too if she did the same to me."

Alex sighed as he looked away. Andrew continued, "But like I said, I'm mostly doing this to protect you. I've seen how people are online. The forums and the chatboxes are toxic as fuck. You shouldn't be pressured to come out. Hell, you shouldn't be outed by anyone. That should be your decision, not anyone else's."

Alex asked, "Should I tell Amanda?"

Andrew said, "You can't have her living a lie. I don't want her heart being broken, but she will catch on if you don't get honest with her sooner than later."

Alex looked away as Andrew added, "I'm not saying to tell her now, but you will have to, eventually."

Alex sighed as he stared at the floor. He could feel his world closing in on him and collapsing. People will eventually find out. Derrick knew, making Alex wonder how many more people might know. He could see Alyson getting possessive towards Andrew. Amanda will probably start demanding to know what was going on inside his head. His own bandmates will most likely demand the same thing.

He couldn't keep everything to himself forever. He will need to get honest with everyone, including himself. He wasn't sure when that will be, but it would have to be a process. He just hoped he won't get rushed into saying anything before he was ready.

He felt his chin being moved to face Andrew. The American guy leaned forward to kiss Alex's lips. Alex didn't fight it. No, he moved with slow, desperate rhythm. He felt their bodies moving closer as the kiss become more lustful.

He knew he needed to end this, but he didn't want to pull away. Instead, it was Andrew who made the move. Andrew caressed Alex's face and said, "I'm going to miss this."

Alex held Andrew's hand on his face and said, "I will too."

The two kissed again, but it was short. Alex looked at Andrew, who seemed just as heartbroken. He wondered if he will ever be with Andrew again. He knew the American guy had a girlfriend that he would never leave.

Maybe Alex will have to find his own Andrew, but when? He was with Amanda, living a lie he wished to be true. Maybe one day he will live his life freely, but until then, everything was lie. Everyone was going to live in the lies they created for themselves.

It would only be a matter of time before everything blows up in everyone's faces.

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THE SECOND HALF OF "THE ANATOMY OF ALEX TREDINNICK," ALONG WITH A NEW TITLE, WILL BE COMING SOON.