ChapterTwentyEight:Lingering Feelings

Thursday, May 11, 2006

"So, we have to go back to school for the next several weeks," Amanda said to Alex as they laid on his bed. He held her, rubbing her arm gently.

The British leg of the tour had just ended with a three-night sold-out concert in London. Alex noticed that UTurn had gained even more fans, especially as they climbed up on the charts. Their British debut, Ready or Not, peaked at number eight. It was a strong debut.

"You have another year of high school, yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do. I'm not thrilled about it."

"School sucks that bad?"

Amanda sat up and said, "I honestly like going on tour. I get to see different cities outside of America and Canada. I hope I get to travel the world with UTurn one day. I'm sure we will."

Alex smiled as he sat up too. He said, "I'm sure you all will go on tour again. Maybe a world tour one day?"

Amanda smiled, seemingly excited about that possibility. Alex could tell UTurn had potential to explode on the charts worldwide. Their music was something the world could fall in love with, unlike in America. They still had a long way to go to finally break in the Top 20 on the Billboard Hot 100. With just the right push, and the right song, they just might.

She sighed and said, "But for now, I got school and a UTurn tour across America and Canada."

Alex said, "And you got that second album to record."

Amanda smiled again. "Yeah, you're right."

He noticed Amanda looking at the digital clock next to her. She sighed as she got out of the bed. He asked, "Want me to help?"

She said, "Yeah, you can. My stuff is downstairs."

Alex followed Amanda out of the room when he glanced at the UTurn boys' room. He noticed Andrew packing up his stuff outside of the room. The two guys had kept some distance from each other, but they still talked. They were still friends that had to cut the flirtations.

He also noticed things were icy between Andrew and Derrick. Sure, they interacted with each other on stage, acting like everything was fine. Yet Alex couldn't help but feel there was still tension between the two guys.

He wanted to talk to Derrick, but he was afraid of him. The guy whose hair was clearly dyed in red seemed protective of Amanda. Andrew kind of was, too, but not as much.

Instead, he said to Amanda, "I'll catch up with you in a bit."

She nodded her head as she headed towards the stairs. Alex walked up to Andrew. He asked, "You and Derrick still not talking?"

"No," Andrew said as he stuffed a shirt into the luggage.

Alex felt himself wince when he saw that. He wanted to fold everything neatly for Andrew, but he knew he couldn't. He needed to suppress his OCD, well, that's what he figured he had. Why else would he feel a strong need to clean up after everyone?

Alex bit his lip as he knelt to Andrew's level. He asked, "Would you like some help?"

Andrew looked around, then faced him. He said in a low voice, as if he was half-whispering, "Not with Derrick around."

Alex looked away as he got up. He looked at the UTurn guys' room. He noticed Derrick staring at him. It wasn't a glare. No, this was different. He wasn't sure, but it seemed remorseful.

He glanced back Andrew, who was walking back to the room. Alex decided he should join Amanda. He offered to help her first, anyway. Still, he wished he could spend time with Andrew one last time before they were to go back to Boston.

No, it would never happen. He and Andrew would never become a thing again. Not with Andrew being attached to Alyson. Not with Alex being with Amanda. Not with Derrick watching everyone's moves.

                                                                               >>>>>>>>>>

Alex woke to the buzzing of his phone on the nightstand. He picked it up to see a text from Andrew: "meet me outside in the backyard."

He looked at the time. It was barely three in the morning. UTurn was set to leave around seven for the airport. He sighed tiredly as he got up from his bed. He put on his black hoodie and sweatpants, and soon walked out to the backyard. He shook his head when he saw Andrew said that, reminding him to let Andrew know of the correct term, which was "garden."

He saw Andrew standing outside, staring at his phone. He walked up to him, and asked, "What's going on? Why'd you text me in the middle of the night?"

Andrew said as he held Alex's hands, "I couldn't leave without telling you goodbye personally."

"I thought you said we're done?" Alex asked, feeling confusion rising inside his head.

"And I mean it, but it doesn't mean I won't miss you. I'm sure we'll see each other eventually, but it might be a while."

He noticed Andrew leaning forward, clearly ready to kiss his lips. Alex wanted to fight this, but he still held feelings for the American boy. He allowed Andrew's lips to meet his. The feeling was of longing, not wanting things to end. He felt Andrew holding his waist.

Alex pulled away, holding Andrew's face. Alex could feel his eyes watering up. It was the first time anyone, let alone a guy, made him feel this way. He was in love with someone he couldn't have; even Andrew knew this.

Andrew wiped the tears on his face. He said, "There's a park nearby. We can go over there if you'd like. We won't do any kissing. Just us together."

Alex said, "But we're both celebrities. I have all of Britain literally watching me. You're just barely getting the same treatment. It's not safe for us."

Andrew nodded his head as he sighed. He kept his hands on Alex's hips while he did the same. It seemed neither of them wanted to let each other go.

Alex pulled away from Andrew and said, "Go back to sleep, Andrew. You got a long flight ahead of you."

Andrew look away, seemingly sad about this. Alex faced the door, not wanting to go back inside. No, he needed to give up on the boy that wouldn't leave his mind, let alone his heart.