ChapterNine:Curiousity

FLASHBACK-Saturday, July 17, 2004

Caleb handed out pieces of paper to everyone in the band. Alex looked down at his, a fake British drivers' license. His age was set at twenty-five, though his face was that of a sixteen-year-old.

Alex said, "I don't think I'll still look like a teenager by twenty-five."

Caleb shrugged, "You never know."

Jerrod asked, "Why are you giving these fake IDs to us?"

Caleb smirked, "It's one of the last few weeks we have left here in France. I think we should try to have some fun for once. Besides, I heard rumors that the rules here are even looser than in England."

"So, when are we going?"

"Tonight."

"Do I come along?" Holly asked in her usual quiet tone.

Alex looked at Caleb. Sure, Holly was pushing fourteen, but she was still the youngest member of the band. As much as he didn't want her to feel left out, he didn't feel right taking her club-hopping.

Caleb sighed, "I'll think about it."

Alex said to Holly, "We'll figure it out, Holly, yeah?"

She nodded her head, clearly saddened by this. Alex hugged her, as if she was his baby sister.

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The music blasted in the Mason's car. The juniorConnect members bribed the guy, and another cast member, to be their drivers with, well, some money: A combined total of €800. It was Diana's idea. Alex went along with it, but he didn't particularly like it, and neither did they.

As Mason drove the band to a nightclub, a song played on the radio. The singer was a girl with a powerful voice. Alex was impressed with both her vocals and the bop of a song.

He asked, "Who's that?"

Mason shrugged while Sarah replied, "That's JoJo and her song Leave (Get Out). She's from America."

"Really?"

"Yeah! She's Holly's age!"

Alex nodded his head, impressed by it all. He could tell this girl was going to be iconic one of these days. Before he knew it, they were in front of a club. There was a long line of women in their revealing dresses, and men in their opened shirts.

He felt a bit self-conscious as he looked down at his outfit. His black buttoned shirt was mostly closed. Alex glanced at the guys in the line. Everything about them oozed sexiness and confidence. Their muscular chests and their six-pack abs; it should be a sin to have those shirts on.

Alex blinked, looked away from the line. It was strange that he thought that. Why would he find guys attractive? No, he was straight. Sure, he ended his relationship with a girl a couple months earlier, but still!

He looked back at his shirt. He was still lanky, though he had been working out for a while now. He heard Caleb brag how he got to be shirtless for a scene on Dare2Dream. It was enough to make Alex to push himself with his exercising.

He unbuttoned his shirt, only leaving one button on in the middle of it. The top half revealed a plain chest, while the bottom half showed the top label of his briefs. He felt bit sexier by doing this, but he knew he was nowhere as hot as those guys walking into the club. Did I really think those guys were hot?

"You okay, Alex?" Sarah asked, taking him out of his thoughts.

Alex smirked, "Gotta look twenty-five, yeah?"

He walked out of the car, joining the others that were driven by some of the Dare2Dream cast. Sure, they were decent people, but pushing the band to the back to promote total strangers to the public didn't sound like a good idea. Why couldn't Connect8 release that fake song Involved instead?

As they got in line, Caleb said to everyone, "Let me do all the talking."

"Why?" Jerrod asked.

"I'm the one who made those fake IDs, and I'm practically the leader of whatever's left of this goddamn band. Faye, you in?"

Alex looked at Faye, who seemed uncomfortable with this. Alex said to Caleb, "Leave Faye out of this."

Caleb raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And you think you can lead the band?"

"I didn't say..."

"Cause last I heard, you're just the dancer of the band who gets 'all the ladies.' Or at least make some of those lads horny for you."

Alex narrowed his eyes at Caleb. The constant teasing was pissing him off. He needed to stand up for himself instead of staying silent.

He walked up to Caleb, and said sternly, "You may be the so-called 'leader' of juniorConnect, but I'm older than you. So if I were you, I'd shut the fuck up and sit my arse down."

Caleb crossed his arms, and asked, "If I don't? You're not the type to beat the shit out of everyone."

Alex rolled his eyes as he shoved himself to the front of the group. He wasn't going to let Caleb keep pushing him down. He kept facing the line until it was the band's turn. Alex took out his laminated fake ID; and showed it to the bouncer.

The man took the ID, stared at it for a good minute or two, then tore it into two pieces. Alex's blue eyes widened at the action. How would a French bouncer in the city of Nice know what a British ID looked like? Was it really that obvious that the card was fake?

He felt himself being pushed to the side, seeing it was Caleb. The guy said in a somewhat desperate tone, "We're the band Connect8. Or juniorConnect? You know, we had hits such as Let Me Be The One? Nightfall?"

"Let's just go, Caleb," Jerrod said, clearly unimpressed by this.

Alex said as he glared at Caleb, "Yeah, it's not like we're that big anyway."

Caleb scoffed, "I'm sure the entire continent knows who we are."

"Well, they clearly don't."

Alex walked back to one of their casts' cars. He noticed most of his bandmates were following him, while Caleb stood there, visibly pissed that his planned didn't work. Alex, on the other hand, didn't care. At this point, he was more than ready to go back to London. Then again, it would mean attempting to tolerate Caleb's unbearable amount of smugness for months on end.

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PRESENT DAY-Saturday, October 1, 2005

Alex walked over to his gym bag, grabbing his bottled water. He and his bandmates were given a quick water break before returning to their dance rehearsals. The song, Involved, sounded like a slightly more mature version of Connect8's songs Let Me Be The One and Nightfall combined with Sugababes' Round Round.

He noticed Mason was talking to their bandmates. It was any wonder if that guy was able to catch his breath. Mason only started dancing since a year earlier for the Dare2Dream rehearsals, yet he seemed fine. Maybe he was a quick learner, yeah, that was what that was.

"So I was thinking we try club-hopping again," Mason suggested to the band.

Alex shook his head. "I'm not doing that again. We're not even in France, and their rules aren't that strict compared to ours."

"We don't have to go out drinking. One of us can be the designated driver."

Lauren raised her hand, and said, "I just barely started my driving lessons."

Jerrod chimed in, "Diana and I haven't even started yet."

Amber rolled her eyes, "Fine, I'll be the designated driver."

Alex asked Mason, "When do we do this?"

"Tonight," he replied. "I could use a drink after these rehearsals."

Alex nodded his head. He himself could use a drink too, but he had other ideas.

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Alex sat in his car, facing a nightclub. He was alone, he made sure of it as he snuck out one of the clubs the others were in. He told them he wanted to drive around for a bit. In a way, he was telling the truth, but he was lying.

He looked at the people in line. They were mostly guys, dressed in their opened dress shirts and fitted jeans. He had previously looked up this place, which was a gay nightclub. It wasn't as well-known as GAY, but it wasn't a quiet place either.

Ever since he had his sex with Mallory, he continued to feel guilty for having Andrew on his mind. The guy wouldn't leave his head. His piercing blue eyes, his smug smirk, his powerful tenor voice. Even the way he danced was enough to feel hard.

Alex wanted to know if what he felt wasn't a fluke, that he wasn't just Andrew-sexual. He knew what people were saying about him. He wanted to be sure they weren't right. He was sure he wasn't gay. Then again, why should he be afraid when Andrew got to be openly bi? He needed to test the waters, see what he really was.

Not wanting to be recognized, he put on his sunglasses. He was sure he would be questioned, but he didn't care. He was not about to have his whereabouts leaked to the public.

He got in line, ready to take out his ID. He had to let the bouncer know that he wasn't to get a drink. He wanted to badly but couldn't. He needed bail out if things were to go sour.

Alex walked inside the club, engulfed with the strobe-lights and the dance music. Guys grinding on each other on the dancefloor, a couple of male dancers scattered about in the club. Even the male bartenders wore nothing but leather harnesses across their chests.

He felt himself licking his lips. The inside of his jeans bulging. A part of him felt scared to be surrounded by scantily clad men; yet he was also aroused. His body made him aware of his attractions, and he wasn't sure if he liked those feelings.

Alex wasn't sure if he wanted to go back to his car, or to delve deeper into his curiosity. His feet were stuck to the floor as he watched the male dancers flirting with the club-goers next to them.

"You new here?" Alex heard a man asking him.

He turned to face a guy who looked holding a tray of drinks, wearing tight leather trousers and harness on his bare, muscular chest. Once again, his licked his lips at the sight of sexiness.

"Like what you see?" the man asked with a smirk on his face.

Alex made a quick nod.

"Why are you wearing your shades?"

Alex gulped, trying to get himself to relax. Instead, he croaked, "I just want to."

The guy chuckled, "You're a celebrity, yeah?"

Alex kept his mouth closed. Am I that obvious?

He continued, "It's usually the celebrities that like to wear sunglasses inside a nightclub, especially in the gay ones."

"I'm not gay," Alex stammered.

"That's not what your trousers say."

Alex quickly turned his back on the man. He felt scared, embarrassed. He didn't like what he was feeling, yet the man in front of him was pure sex. He wanted to take him on right then and there, but no! Alex was straight with a loving girlfriend that he loved getting inside! He was not into guys whatsoever! Not Andrew, not this hot bartender!

"Look," the man began, "I don't know who you are, though your voice sounds familiar. I get it, it's scary. You think you're one way, but your body says otherwise. I know you won't fully accept it right away, but I hope you do eventually. I would hate to see you live your life in misery."

Alex felt his eyes beginning to water. He wanted what the man had said to be a lie, but it sounded real. He wanted to run, away from the person that was wanting to come out.

He wipes his eyes, and said, "I have to go."

He turned to see the bartender, who seemed surprised. Alex said, "Don't tell anyone that I was here."

"I won't," the guy said, holding Alex's arm.

He didn't fight it. Instead, he just stood there, trying to keep his emotions at bay. The man added, "Go ahead and go. I won't rush you or anything."

Alex nodded, walking out of the club. He stormed into his car and slammed the door. He cried into his steering wheel. The truth was there, and he didn't want to acknowledge it. He wasn't sure if or when he'll be ready to face it. He just knew he needed time to figure stuff out.

For all he knew, it might be a long while before he could admit what he was.