A/N: Connect8 during 2001-2005. Top roll: Jerrod (Jordon Fisher), Holly (Elle Fanning), and Rachel (Zendaya). Middle roll: Diana (Emily Osment) and Caleb (Tom Holland). Bottom roll: Sarah (Madison Beer), Alex (Asa Butterfield), and Faye (Victoria Justice).

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ChapterFour:Unwanted Feelings

FLASHBACK-Friday, November 21, 2003

Alex put on his ear-piece microphone that he would be lip-syncing into as usual for their latest single, Say No More. The only time he sang live with his bandmates was when they performed their debut hit, Let Me Be The One, on Top of The Pops. It was only because the person running the show didn't want juniorConnect performing on it. The joke was on that person since the band shot to number two on the singles chart.

The band had been known as Connect8 since the moment Connect7 had split up back in spring. He and his bandmates still refer to themselves as juniorConnect. Even the fandom called the band The Juniors; well, at least the ones that had been with them since the beginning.

"So I found a fansite," Diana began as she checked her hair. "They have a ton of fanfiction."

Caleb asked, "Why are you reading stories about us?"

Diana turned to face him, and said, "Why not? I wanna see what everyone is writing about us!"

Caleb rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I'm paired with Faye."

Alex looked at Faye, who was blushing, seemingly out of embarrassment. He knew fans were shipping them, which made sense since they were the de facto leaders of the band.

Diana said, "Well, yeah, there's those stories, but I found the restricted fanfics. You have to be eighteen and over to read them."

Caleb narrowed his eyes at her. "That sounds pretty messed up."

"Oh, you don't even know half of it."

Jerrod asked, "What did you see?"

Diana smirked, though her face was red, as if she felt guilty. "There's these fanfics of Caleb and Alex being a thing. They literally shag each other whilst the rest of us are either sleeping or away somewhere."

Alex's eyes widened while Caleb chuckled. Caleb asked, "Really? Me and Alex are a thing in these fanfics?"

"Yeah!"

Alex watched in the reflection of the mirror of Caleb getting up from his chair, walking over to him. He grabbed Alex's shoulder, making his skin crawl. He knew he and Caleb only tolerated each other. They weren't besties, like the fans would like to think.

Caleb taunted as Alex kept his eyes straight into the mirror, "See? Everyone wants me to shag everyone, including you. Then again, you have everyone guessing what you are."

He got into Alex's ear, and continued, "But you got a girlfriend. Most of our fans think of you as a ladies' man. I'm sure everything's fine."

Alex felt his body warming up. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. Was he angry? Was he guilty? Over what? He was sure he was straight. Maybe he was angry, but he didn't want to give Caleb any reaction. Then again, he was older than him. He should stand up for himself.

No, he just stayed silent as Caleb laughed. Everything was fine, like he said. So why did it feel like it didn't?

                                                                                >>>>>>>>>>

PRESENT DAY-Saturday, May 28, 2005

Alex entered the green room after his performance with his dance group. He may have been back with his band, but it didn't mean he had to leave his group just yet. Besides, Connect8 weren't scheduled to return to the recording studio just yet. He got time.

One of the guys walked up to him. He said, "Hey, Alex. We're going to this club tonight. Wanna come?"

Alex replied as he opened his gym bag, "Yeah, sure. Were we going?"

"GAY."

He looked up with his blue eyes widened. He heard about that club, a gay nightclub where many pop acts would perform on the stage. He wasn't sure he could get in. Sure, he could use the fact that he was teen celebrity that graced everyone's TV screens. Then again, he was still seventeen. He wouldn't be of legal age until November.

Alex looked away. He wasn't sure if he should go. He had been to several bars and clubs, but none of them were really catered to anyone in particular. The whole idea made him feel nervous.

His friend added, "Raven Steele is performing."

Alex's ears perked up when he heard that. He was always finding ways to support his mentors from Connect7. He loved her music; and was looking forwards to her upcoming material.

So he said, "Yeah, I'll come. What time?"

                                                                             >>>>>>>>>>>

The music blared through the club's speakers. The lights flashed around the room that smelled like sweat and booze. Raven Steele performed her latest single on the stage, surrounded by back-up dancers.

Alex did his best to stay with his friends and girlfriend. He was still uncomfortable with being at a place where rumors of him could spike up. Sure, he was able to go under the radar, but the moment Connect8 announces their comeback would be when he would be forced back into the spotlight. He would be back into a controlled environment. No more clubbing and drinking the night away like a normal teenager about to head off to university.

Alex applauded for Raven after her performance had ended. The new music sounded amazing, and he was sure the material will become instant hits with the public.

Wanting a drink, he walked over to the bar. He looked at the menu, wanting to try something new for a change. He wasn't sure if this would be his last time going clubbing. He wanted to make the most of it before he goes back to being a popstar.

"Indecisive?" he heard a guy ask him. He looked to see a guy that seemed to be a few years older than him.

"Not exactly," Alex replied. "I'm just thinking."

"Your first time here?"

"Yeah."

Alex looked back at the menu. He wasn't interested in starting a conversation with the random guy. He was sure the guy either recognized him; or thought he was gay. He hoped it was the former.

The guy asked, "How about I buy you a drink?"

Alex felt his face growing warm. He could feel he was uneasy with all of this. It was something he was afraid would happen. He shook his head, and said, "I'm fine."

"You're sure? You seem a bit lonely."

Alex said hastily as he got off the barstool, "I said I'm fine."

He powerwalked towards the exit, not wanting another second in the club. He had to squeeze himself through people grinding on each other. He felt his wrist being pulled by someone.

He yanked himself out, and exclaimed, "I'm not interested!"

"Alex!" Mallory said. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head has he ran his hand through his sticky hair. "I can't be here, Mal!"

"Why? What happened?"

He grabbed her wrist, walked her out to the hallway that had seen better days. He told her, "Some random guy just hit on me!"

"How?"

"By asking if he could buy me a drink, and that I seemed lonely."

Mallory blinked. Alex wasn't sure what was running through her head. Maybe he was overreacting?

She finally spoke up, "You do know I have girls fancying me too, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"It's not a big deal, Alex. Just tell him nicely that you're not interested. You don't need to run off like that."

Alex looked away, trying to calm himself down. He wasn't in a partying mood. No, he just wanted to go to bed. He didn't have a performance the next day. He just wanted to go back to his apartment.

Mallory sighed, "If you want to go back to the flat, go ahead."

He asked, "Are you gonna stay here?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Go have your fun."

Alex walked towards the exit the club, ready to take the next tube train or two to get to his place. He wondered if his outburst meant anything. He didn't feel comfortable being in a gay club. He didn't like the experience of a guy trying to ask him out, regardless if it was either an actual date or a one-night stand.

As he sat down inside the underground train, he leaned his head on the window. Maybe he was overthinking things. Maybe none of this was a big deal. Everything was fine, like everyone, including Caleb, would say.

Or was there something gnawing at him at the back of his mind? First, his questioning of his relationship with Mallory. Then the fact that he couldn't stop staring at photos of Andrew Hawthorne. Now his outburst?

Something was slowly reaching the surface. He didn't like it one bit. He wanted to push it back in his mind. Maybe sleeping it off the moment he gets to his apartment would help. Allow himself to relax.

Or will Andrew appear in his dreams; along with the faceless people living inside the chat-box of his website?

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A/N: Here's Connect8's real life counterpart, S Club 8. This is from 2003:

Top roll: Jay, Hannah, and Rochelle. Middle roll: Daisy and Calvin. Bottom roll: Stacey, Aaron, and Frankie.