A/N: I'm going to try to get this song out either this week or the next. Just needs some vocal works, and it should be up on SoundCloud.

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ChapterEleven:Two Sides

Friday, October 8, 2005

Do you like what you see

Curiosity taking over

Making you want a taste

I know I'm on your mind

Can't let me go

Come on over here

Alex sang his lines into his headset. It was the first time the band sang live on TV since 2002. His voice was strong and steady, yet still light weight as in the past. It was more than enough to get the audience screaming for him. He even saw some fan signs with his name on them. He did his best to contain his smile, but it slipped numerous times.

Do you wanna get involved with me

Take that risk if you dare

I can make you feel everything

Let's go all out tonight

Involved was a sexy song, a mark to show Connect8's slow transition into more mature content. They initially started it back in 2003 with Nightfall; now they got to pick up where they left off. It was also a rumored track from a year earlier, supposedly written by Kylie Minogue's people. Turned out the song was fake, but that changed a few months earlier. It was written by a new group of songwriters. For the four original members of the band, it was a nice change from singing a song about having a crush in primary school.

Once the song ended, the audience screamed more for them. It was clear the return of Connect8 was relatively well-received by the public. Alex still had his fans, as if nothing really changed. Well, it did. He took over for Caleb, but it seemed like not many people hated the changed.

Alex and his bandmates walked into their dressing rooms, ready to change back into their normal clothes before heading off to a radio interview. As he took off his black cloth jacket, he heard a knock on the door. He walked over, opening the door to see his surprise.

"Alex!" Mallory grinned as she hugged him tightly.

He hugged back as he also smiled. He pulled away, and asked, "So you were able to see me live?"

"Yes!" she said excitedly. "I wouldn't miss my boyfriend's performance in the world! I'm so proud of you!"

Alex grinned. "I'm glad you liked it."

Mallory took Alex's hand, walking him out of the dressing room. He saw they were only outside of the room. He figured she probably wanted to talk to him privately.

She asked, "I was thinking maybe I could visit your place tonight? I was able to sneak you into my dorm."

Alex kept his smile on his face, though he could feel his brain was working overtime. He had plans for the night. If his girlfriend were to spend the night with him, he would have to act like everything was still the usual. At the same time, he didn't want to break her heart with the truth. Wait, what truth?

He said, "Yeah, of course."

Mallory squealed as she hugged him again.

                                                                                  >>>>>>>>>

Alex stared at the laptop screen as held Mallory in his arm. They were watching a movie on his bed. The TV was downstairs in the living area, so this was the best option. He noticed she fell asleep after the second movie he played. He only picked the ones she wanted to see. The only thing he wanted to watch was Friends, but that wasn't a movie.

He closed the out the video player that played the movies he downloaded from iTunes, shutting down the laptop screen. He slowly placed the computer onto the carpeted floor, trying not wake Mallory.

He heard his phone buzzing on his nightstand. He figured it had to do with his plans he had originally. The phone never stopped moving, meaning someone was calling him. He looked at Mallory, who was still sleeping. He needed to answer the call, or at least text the person.

Alex slowly slipped away from her, grabbed his phone, and walked outside of the room. He needed some privacy. It wasn't like all of his bandmates were home. Jerrod and Diana were back in Essex studying for their exams. Only Lauren and Sarah were home, probably watching another rom-com. The older members were out and about again, probably taking advantage of the paparazzi in the middle of London.

He walked into one of the bathrooms, sitting on the floor against the door. He opened his phone, seeing two voicemails. He didn't feel comfortable actually talking to them. Instead, he resorted to texting: "sorry. Plans changed."

Alex waited for the person to respond back, they almost immediately did: "Why?"

"GF came over."

"gf?"

"yeah"

Alex had to tell him a few days earlier that he had a girlfriend. The guy from that bartending job at the gay club didn't seem to like this. Alex understood why, but he wasn't ready to end things with Mallory, let along tell her what he had been trying to push in the back of his mind.

"I work tomorrow and Sunday," the guy, whose name was Liam, texted back.

Alex texted, "I have a music video to shoot this weekend anyway. Monday?"

"I work that day."

"R there other days u have off?"

"Thursday."

Alex thought about the schedule for that day. There was a magazine shoot and an interview, but everything should wrap up in the evening. He knew Mallory had an open schedule during the weekend. It seemed like everything should be able to work out. As far as he could tell, he didn't have the paparazzi chasing him, but for how long will that continue? He was the face of the band now. It was only a matter of time.

He stared at the text. He knew he was risking everything just for a chance to test the waters. He was scared of what could happen if the rumors spiral out of control. Then again, it wasn't like he was actually dating Liam. He was just talking to someone who clearly had some experience with being openly gay. Someone to get his mind off of Andrew, who was probably busy with gigs and school at the moment.

He texted, "I'm in."

                                                                                >>>>>>>>>

Alex parked his car in the parking garage connected to Liam's apartment building. He wasn't chased by anyone, but he did his best to drive the long way to Liam's place. He gripped the steering wheel, feeling nervous about seeing the guy. No, he wasn't dating him. He just wanted to talk to him. It didn't mean that Liam was his boyfriend.

Alex put on his hat and sunglasses, soon got out of the car. He walked into the building, knocking on Liam's door. He stood there, waiting for the guy to open up. Alex looked around, eyeing a security camera. He felt a sense of paranoia, as if his whereabouts were going to be leaked. It was only a matter of time before the paparazzi start chasing him down.

The door was opened with Liam standing there in a t-shirt and sweatpants. It was strange to see the man was fully clothed compared to at that nightclub.

"You gonna stand there?" Liam asked.

Alex walked inside, taking in the sight of the place. It was a studio apartment, not much room for stuff. It was clear Liam was trying to make the best of his living situation.

Alex sat on the couch, trying to calm both the fear and the nerves running inside of him. It was the farthest he had gone to test the waters. He wanted to run away, to continue pushing back the thing that was at the surface. Instead, he sat there, curious to see what will happen.

Liam sat across from him, and asked, "So, what are we to you?"

Alex gulped, and said, "I don't know."

"I don't like the idea of you cheating on your girlfriend just to be with me."

"You're not my boyfriend," Alex said coldly.

Just saying that left a chill in his body. It was like he much closer to the truth, but no. He couldn't let that happen.

"So why are you here when you got a girlfriend? What am I to you?"

"I don't know!" Alex exclaimed as he stood up.

He sighed as he sat back down. He looked at Liam, who seemed like he was studying Alex. Liam said, "You're scared."

Alex opened his mouth when Liam added, "You're scared to admit the truth about yourself. I can tell you want to try this, but I'm not going to be your experiment."

Confused, Alex asked, "What experiment?"

"I can help you with this, but I'm not going to be your experiment to see if you're gay or not."

Alex narrowed his eyes at him, and said, "I'm not gay, Liam."

"I didn't say you are. I'm just saying I'm not going to encourage this."

He shook his head as he got up from the couch. Liam said, "I'm willing to give you advice, but you can't be running away. It's up to you, but don't talk to me if all you're gonna do is push all of this away."

Alex stared at him. It seemed like this guy wanted to help him but was already at his limit. No, Alex was going to push this whole thing to the back of his mind. The first step was walking out of the apartment. The second move was to get in his car and taking breaths to relax.

The third step was to drive back to his Connect8 home. Time to go back to acting everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.