ChapterEight:Losing Himself

Monday, September 26, 2005

Connect8 faced Seth in the boardroom. Alex saw a smile on Seth's face, as if he felt accomplished for doing something. He was sure it must have something to do with UTurn. Why else would that band be doing in London?

Seth asked, "So how are the recording sessions going?"

"Pretty good," Lauren replied. "We just have another song or two, and then we're done."

"Great. Today you meet with your stylists and your director. Tomorrow you'll begin rehearsals for your music video."

Alex asked, not wanting to wait around for answers, "Why is UTurn here in London?"

Seth's eyes widened, seemingly surprised by the question. He then changed his expression into a smirk. "I'm now UTurn's international manager. I just signed them onto Telegram Records and Number9 Entertainment."

Now it was Alex's turn to be shocked by this announcement. Didn't that band have their own manager? He knew they were signed to a major label back in June; MainStreet Records, which was part of the Worldwide Music Group. Connect8 was also part of that company. Maybe it was because of their connections? Still, the whole thing felt unsettling.

Seth continued, "UTurn has a lot of potential, and the European market is perfect for them. The Connect8 influence is there, but their concept and their sound are like a combination of t.A.T.u. and Steps. It's unique, but interesting!"

Diana asked, seemingly sourly, "So do you expect us to work with them?"

He replied, "That I won't tell just yet. Just focus on your comeback. If all goes well, I'll tell you lot."

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"He's going to make UTurn open for us if we go on tour," Diana said as half of the Connect8 members were in Alex's car.

He was the driver for Diana, Jerrod, Sarah, and Lauren. The other members had their own cars. Alex said, "Probably. Would that be a problem?"

"Alex, you know that Alyson and Andrew are horrible people in their school!"

"I'm not condoning their behavior. I just don't think there's anything wrong with working with them"

Alex glanced at Diana, who was sitting next to him. She was clearly shocked based off her mouth being opened.

"You were bullied back in secondary school! You really want to be working with two people who are throwing out empty lawsuits, insults, and punches?"

Alex sighed. He wasn't sure what those two people would be like if they were to meet juniorConnect. Alyson was a fangirl; Andrew was openly bisexual. He was sure neither of them will try to hurt any of his bandmates. Maybe Diana was being a bit too harsh.

Lauren asked, "So what do we do if we do have to work with them?"

"I don't know," Diana replied. "I'll figure something out."

Alex chimed in, "I think we should get to know them first before we do anything else."

Sarah said, "I agree with Alex. They're popstars like us. We have to give them a chance."

Alex kept his eyes on the road. He attempted to block out Diana arguing with the girls. He knew Jerrod wasn't crazy about UTurn either. He couldn't quite separate the artists from the art, well, pop art. The others didn't care much for UTurn. "Not my style," they would typically say.

Was he the only one who liked UTurn? He thought their debut album was pretty solid. He thought it was brave for Andrew to sing about a strained relationship with a boy in He Said. This was a pop act that had a fighting chance in both the UK and the EU. They were made for the European charts and its general public, not like America.

Maybe Alex was the only one who saw great potential in UTurn. Yet he was outweighed by the majority. Well, Sarah and Lauren like UTurn, but it didn't matter. If the other weren't crazy about an up-and-coming American pop group, then his opinions didn't matter.

                                                                             >>>>>>>>

Alex faced a team of stylists. They were all staring at both him and his bandmates, like they were experiments. Alex had to look away, not wanting to look at the judging eyes.

He heard footsteps approaching him, forcing him to look up. The guy said to Alex, "You're coming with me."

"Why?" he asked nervously.

"Your team wants to give you a new hair color."

Alex raised an eyebrow. Why would he get a dye job? The closest one he got was a temporary red dye on the tips of his then-shorter, spiked hair for the No Longer Yours promos. Other than that, he was defined as the guy with dark brown hair, almost jet-black in certain lightings.

As much as he wanted to protest this, his feet followed the stylist to a both. Curious, he asked, "What is my hair gonna look like?"

The stylist handed him a card, an illustration of Alex with black and blonde highlights with a shorter haircut, styled with messy spikes. He didn't feel too bad about this, but he also felt like he was losing a part of himself. What if he gets a complete blonde job? Sure, he could rock it, but it would look a bit strange on him, against his slightly tanned skin.

Still, he was curious, so he asked, "Why am I getting highlights?"

The stylist replied as he held Alex's head, "It's what your teams want. Now let's begin."

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Alex ran his fingers through his hair. His hair was dyed in both black and blond. It was a strange look on him, but it kind of worked? The whole experience felt weird, wasn't sure how to take it in.

Alex felt arms wrapped around him. He saw Mallory in the reflection of her mirror. He was visiting his girlfriend in her dorm, well, more like she snuck him in. The new hair worked in his favor, but he still kept his sunglasses on. The return was all over social media and the tabloids.

"I think it looks sexy," she said in a slightly seductive tone.

Alex gave a smirk, feeling his ego being lifted. He turned to face her, holding her waist. "You think I look sexy?"

"Of course!"

Alex lifted her up as he carried her to her bed. He had sexual feelings toward her. Well, he was sure he felt that way about her. Anything to ignore his thoughts on that Andrew guy. That American boy was problematic, a total turn-off. Wait, I don't swing that way!

Alex kissed her lips as he rubbed her sides underneath her top. He was ready to take things further. His mind and heart were in it, but underneath his jeans said otherwise.

"Take off my top once," Mallory said breathlessly.

He did just that, taking his own off afterward. He started a trail of kisses from her lips down towards her own jeans. He slowly zipped them, mentally aroused, but still nothing coming from his manhood. Come on! Get hard once!

Before he knew it, they were both in their undergarments. Alex took out a condom from his trousers that were on the floor. He didn't want to take off his briefs, fear that he'll disappoint her again with his lack of hardness. He needed to figure out to please her, a way to feel physically aroused.

As he unhooked her bra, a thought came to him. He licked his lips as he confidently slipped off both his and her underwear. He slipped on the condom, ready to go in as he felt his manhood finally hardening.

Alex laid down next to Mallory once it was done. He cuddled her with her back facing him.

"Thank you, Alex," she said to him sleepily.

"Of course, babe," he replied. He wasn't tired. No, he felt guilty. Sure, the sex felt good, but what he did mentally to get himself aroused said otherwise.

He wasn't thinking about his own girlfriend; he had Andrew occupy his mind.

Am I really what everyone's saying about me?