The perfect hair of the boss of the mafia is unkempt as he rushes towards the hospital. The steady hands he has always had trembling as he holds them to convince himself he doesn't care, and that he is going to be fine. Ivo is waiting for him in front of the hospital.
"Where is he?" he asks, trying to gather his breath and his heart as he rushes inside.
"He'll be fine Valentino," Ivo starts.
"You don't know that Ivo." He yells as he grabs him by his collar but immediately realizes his mistake and lets go. "I'm sorry."
"We are all worried Valentino..." He says as they enter a hallway, they see the others standing there and so Ivo looks him in eye. "You'll get it right, you always do." He says as he hugs his best friend.

He takes a deep breath and walks into the hospital room. Romeo wants to follow him but Ivo puts his hand in front of the door.
"Only Natan and Valentino for now. I know how hard this is Romeo, but we must give them their credit too."
Romeo nods and sits down on the bench.

Valentino closes the door and briefly makes eye contact with Natan as he takes a deep breath. His face that is always painted with a smile or a smirk is now painted by fear and sadness over his son. He looks at the bed, trying to gather enough courage to face the truth he has tried to deny for a long time. And as he sees the thin face of this ghost of a child he sees the fourteen year old he got to see smile for the first time in a year. His heart is lying there openly, fragile, half-dead. He walks up to him, his trembling lip betrays his composed exterior and his face and can't help the trembling tears from flowing down his cheek. A father does not deserve to have to see their child deathly ill. Or at least not a father like Valentino.
"Tell me he'll be fine Natan...." He says as his voice trembles melodically.
"I don't lie to you Valentino, you know that."

The tears won't come as his lungs push out the air is small but heavy heaves of sadness. He can hardly feel the oxygen entering his lungs as his face is cramped into the shape of suffering.
"Just lie to me this time Natan.... I need it. I can't take this, not him. Not him.... Please."
He walks towards the weeping person that always stays positive, is losing his spirit for a while. He cannot pretend this isn't hard for him, he is human too. He needs to not be okay for this time. He puts his arm around the shaking shoulders.
"No one could have loved him better Val, you have been the best dad I knew."
"I don't want to have been the best father, I want to be his father..... He cannot leave yet. Look at him. He's twenty.... It's absurd, he's supposed to have the time of his life like you and I had. He deserves to be as happy as we are... It is not fair." He says as he takes the white hand of the boy in his own hand.

He shakes his head and smiles, remembering the times they had, the things he has taught him. He doesn't want to think about these things as a has been, why can't they be prospects of life and the future. He takes a deep breath and nods to himself, fate is fate Val, you cannot always change it. The world is not as flexible as you are (which to be honest would be very hard because how did you even get your leg there! It's not normal, well I guess we have drag queens to blame. (We already blame them for everything.)

The eyes of the boy flutter open and he looks disoriented as he opens his mouth.
"Isn't there a bitch with a flask with decent whiskey in here?" He says with a smile.
He knows Valentino always carries one and they both chuckle.
"Why are you here?" Aurelio asks as he tries to sit up but fails after a half minute of trying.
"Why are we here?! That's your question Aurio?" Valentino asks him as if it is a crime to ask that.
"Isn't it a perfectly reasonable question?"
"Not when you are the one who owes us an explanation young man." He says while he looks at Natan. "Natalia do you know whether it is illegal to beat up a hospitalized patient?" Valentino asks, and strangely even the best detective (Like sherlock Holmes (You cannot convince me that he is not queer coded! Watson, Sherlock! The historians will call them roommates. Who doesn't know that one of his sherlock holmes books was published in the same magazine as my beloved picture of dorian gray??? And both authors took a liking to each other (although I am not sure to how far this appreciation would go.))) could not deduce if he had been joking or not.
"I don't get your point, I am sorry."
"Aids and cancer! When were you planning on telling me?" He says, his anger collapsing under the weight of the mixed emotions he is feeling. (He planned on telling him once he died. So he would've been safe from your wrath Valentino, although he would probably pray to his ancestors to beat Aurelio's ass. (and if you get Valentino to pray I genuinely admire you))
"when you first took me in you promised to never get mad like my mother." He yells at him as if he is a little kind and he crosses his arms. He hisses in pain as he makes the sudden movement.
"This isn't being mad like that Aurelio, I am mad because I care. Why do you think I wouldn't need to know this? You didn't trust me enough Aurelio.... I wanted you to always know I am here for you. You forgot I am here for you, I, we can get you the drugs." Valentino screams, tears seeping through the cracks in his voice as he climbs higher and higher in his register.
"That's the problem, I do not want that, I do not want to get better. If I take chemo, even when I am on those medications it will probably kill me." Aurelio says his voice furious with absolute sorrow.
Valentino takes a deep breath. "So you just choose to die? There's a very important probably in that sentence Aurio... that probably is the hope that might save you." He says calmly as he tilts his head.
"Maybe I don't care!"
"May I remind you that you are only twenty! Remember when I first met you? When you drew your own wedding suit? The passion about possibility you had. You knew your life would be good. It will be Aurelio, however many needles I will have to shove into you, you will fight this. You can fight this. You do not have to give up, we can be there for you." He says as he walks to the door, he wants to open it furiously when he hears a few sobs behind him. He takes a deep breath and turns around.

He walks towards the bed and as soon as he is near enough Aurelio hugs him.
"I have forgotten how to vulnerable dad.... I don't want to be. I don't want to lose myself again." He says as he cries.
Valentino takes a deep breath and he holds the head of the boy like he used to do when he used to be afraid of being found by his family.
"You have nothing to prove anymore, everyone is aware who you are Aurio, and how brilliant you are. You can watch life from the sidelines, but still enjoy it. It's like hearing an ocean in a seashell, we all know it's not possible, but it will always be a ton of fun my darling." He says as he kisses the top of his head. "Darling by the way, never think you can pull of a beard, this looks like you have raided a birds nest and put it on your face."
Aurelio can't help but laugh. Valentino grabs him by the shoulders and smiles.
"So, shall I get you the medicines?" He asks. Aurelio smiles and reluctantly nods. "You have a meeting with Ernesto scheduled for tomorrow?"
"Yes, but take Romeo with you. I don't want two things dancing through each other."
"You're in no place to give orders darling." He responds as he puts on his coat.
"Compartmentalise. Feelings cannot interfere with business, especially in this way." Natan says with a smile. Valentino rolls his eyes, and sighs.
"Do you want one of us to stay with you Aurio?" Valentino asks.
"I'm not a kid anymore Val, I've grown. You can just visit me once in a while." He responds with a smile. "Now let those idiots enter, they've been waiting longer than you have."

Valentino walks out of the room and takes a deep breath before regaining his composure. But he almost walks up to Elisabetta.
"What is this?" He asks, rather confused as she scurries back to her chair.
"LESBIONAGE, that's what that was!" Guiseppe exclaims.
"Hey you were trying to be a secret gaygent too!" Wren says.
"You snitch!" Guiseppe hisses.
"Well, as you must have heard then he is up." He says with a smile as he walks towards the people waiting in front of the room. "I really wonder how much you can disappoint me Guiseppe, you cannot even sit normally in a chair.... It's going to break like that. You're not a yoga performing cowboy." (although that most probably is the type of some LA Gays.)
"Who says I don't aspire to be that! Besides Aurelio is even worse at sitting normally!"
"Yeah because we've all held a sitting contest haven't we Guiseppe." Valentino says with a smile.
Guiseppe opens his mouth and closes it again, he does this about three times.
"You don't look fish today Guiseppe, so do not act like you breathe like one," He says with a smiles as he grabs his Chanel bag. "Now go look whether Aurelio is okay you bloody morons."

Everyone enters the room when Ivo puts his hand in front of the door before Romeo enters.
"He needs to talk to you first." He says while he gestures at Valentino.
Romeo turns around, afraid of a lecture from him but instead he is welcomed with a hug,
"Thank you Romeo, without you he wouldn't have been here still. Without you I wouldn't have known... I owe you one. Also, can you accompany me on an errand tomorrow."
"Whatever you ask sir." Romeo says with a nod.
"Thank you, and you can just call me Valentino."

Romeo disappears into the room and the two best friends stay in the hallway.
"You sure you're okay?" Ivo asks as he looks at Valentino from under his eyelashes, his signature serious face.
Valentino chuckles and looks up and his face is cramped in something that can both resemble a smile or an expression of pain. "Yeah, everything was going a little too well lately wasn't it?"
"Unfortunate that it's Aurio isn't it." Ivo says as he leans against the door.
Valentino's breath shakes as he still looks at the ceiling "I didn't put on waterproof makeup today... it wouldn't rain." He says sarcastically.
"Need a drink, Valley?" He says as he tilts his head.
"I will need more than one Ivy." He responds.
"I'll drive," Ivo says as he wraps his arm around the miserable father as they walk out of the hospital.

The bar is silent as Ivo opens the doors and turns on the lights. Valentino sits down at the bar and sighs.
"Everything was perfect Ivo.... I have an emotionally unattached partner, the mafia is thriving, there hasn't been a hate crime in several months. I love my life, the way I can be free, the way I do not feel the need to party if I don't want to. The way we are experiencing our 40's is perfect."
"Hey, hey, hey, I am not forty yet darling." He says as he grabs a whiskey glass and a whiskey from behind the bar.
"Still vain? I see." Valentino responds playfully.
"You're right Val, your life has been perfect for the last few months. Isn't that a bit suspicious?"
"Let me have my hope Ivo, You have the role of cynic here." They both chuckle and Ivo pours the liquor in the glasses.
"Remember when we were twenty?"
"Oh please don't remind me, I can still feel that headache." Valentino says with a laugh.
"Oh god you were uch a lightweight." Ivo chuckles.
"Lightweight!" He exclaims.
"Name one time you didn't throw up in the gutter after a night out." Ivo says smugly.
"Fair but you.... You...... were hopelessly in love with an asshole."
"He used to be a sweetheart."
"You're still in love with him!! Have you ever met his model wife? She is gorgeous though, I still get a Christmas card every winter."
"Don't you think I get those to, titled my dearest fucking friend!" He exclaims while rolling his eyes.
"And you dare call him a sweetheart, if he is a sweetheart by that logic I am a douche." Val answers.
"Well your job consist of cleaning up things? Maybe my logic isn't flawed. Anyway, remember Angelo? He was a fucking portrait.... What a crazy one that was."
"Yeah, he died of aids didn't he."
Ivo sighs and nods. As he pours more whiskey in Valentino's glass. "We lose hundreds each year Val, it was about time one that you weren't ready for caught it...."
"That doesn't make it better Ivo."
"You are already wearing Aurio in that locket every day, if he eventually does die you'll have him in your heart. They never truly die, not to us, not to their chosen family. He doesn't need to stay alive to be loved by you. You've given him everything you never had, and you can be proud of that even when there's no prospect of a long life. A short life can be just as sweet." Ivo says.
"You said that when you were suicidal Ivo, a short sweet life is good, but a long sweet life is better. I just vowed to protect that boy from everything and I have failed, again. Is it normal that I feel like everything I touch is destined for disaster." Valentino responds as he puts his head on the bar and Ivo puts a hand on his shoulder.
"You turn everything you touch to gold. Everyone who knows you knows you are the man who can make it happen. No matter what they need. You, Valentino, are what you needed when you are young. You are the gay messiah like we joked about. The one who has the ability to teach you how it works, how you can belong."
Valentino puts his head on Ivo's shoulder. "I hate you Ivy." He says with a smile.
"I love you too Valley." He says while wrapping his arm around his friend. They sit there in silence, staring at the wall of liquor in front them and their breathing slowly syncs as they both think about other things.

"Do you think I could adopt a child." Valentino asks out of the blue and Ivo can't help but let a chuckle escape.
"I think you could do anything Valentino, you've proved that to me a long time ago. The real question is why do you want it? There's no replacement for loss. And I wonder if you might raise a mini psychopath."
"Hey come on it's our mafia motto: be gay, do crime. A little mini psychopath would be perfect."
"As long as I am allowed to make little children's books for them." Ivo says as he rests his head on Valentino's and closes his eyes.
"You'll be their Guncle." He says with a chuckle.
"You're crazy." Ivo responds.
"Says the one who once thought about moving to Paris and now hates France."
"Lightweight!" Ivo retorts.
"Idiot."
"Always need to have the last word don't you Val?"
"Yup."
"Everyone will be fine, death or no death. We will get you the best year of your life."
"You better. Oh and one condition, if this is going to be the best year of my life I need to meet Bowie. And hopefully steal a pair of his shoes."

Valentino is waiting outside the villa of Aurelio as he is smoking a cigarette. He feels a smile painting his face as he remembers when they planted the roses together. He catches himself in the thought that everything will be fine, no matter what happens. Shit, Ivo must always influence his thoughts, sometimes he wonders if he himself is a puppet of Ivo (Well better to have his hand up his butt than somebody that he doesn't know.) But even if that is the truth Valentino is still the one who gets the most recognition so he doesn't care that much, what can he say, he has always looked his best in the spotlight.

Romeo emerges from the house, wearing an outfit that strangely resembles a young Valentino, the red hair makes it even more uncanny as it gives him shivers.
"How do I look?" Romeo asks as he twirls, just as vain as Val used to be.
"Like a wet cat pulled you into their room, get in the car!" He gasps, it's what Natan used to say to him. He shakes his head and gets into the car. "So we are getting Aurelio a trial drug for Aids, but we have this associate. We have the medicine but we need a permission slip from him, it's complicated. Anyway, he is a rather peculiar person, that's for sure. And he might make some backhanded comments, he doesn't mean it I assure you." Valentino says as they arrive in front of a restaurant. The winter sun shines on their faces as they enter it. Valentino walks towards a table with a man waiting patiently.

"Romeo, this is Ernesto."
"Nice to meet you." Ernesto says as he stands up and shakes his hand. "is this another fruit?" He asks.
"We're all skittles here, and at least he is not the pineapple you always take with you." Valentino bites back as he sits down.
The doctor sitting across from them has dark circles, greying hair that might've been bleached grey, it's not easy to see and it has a lot of small curls. It reminds Romeo of steel sponges and he tried his best not to imagine a steel sponge on this persons head but the chuckles present themselves in a few awkward coughs.
A pizza is brought to the table and Valentino inhales sharply as he looks at the person on the other side of the table. Ernesto grabs a can of pineapple from his bag and starts to garnish the perfectly fine pizza with the fruit.
"I don't know what's worse, that you do this in public too or that you do this..." Valentino says with a sigh.
"Come on Val, this is a business meeting, what do you need and why isn't Aurelio here today, he handles it perfectly. Discreet, professional, and ethically."
"I'm not Val here Ernesto, I am Mister Lineadiretta for you now. Aurelio isn't here because he needs this medication himself.... We need you to give us that document he needs."
Ernesto sighs. "It's not that easy, mister Lineadiretta. There's an awful lot of paperwork."
"We both know that's not true Ernesto. Give him the medication already, otherwise I will do it illegally."
"And risk killing your son?"
Valentino stands up and Romeo immediately grabs his shoulder. "Give it already."
"You know I remember Aurelio saying you don't sample your product." Ernesto says while he stuffs his face inelegantly with pizza.
"I won't let family die."
"You've done it once already....." Ernesto says casually.
All the emotions on Valentino's face fade away as he slowly stands up and looks down at Ernesto who is still cluelessly eating his pizza.
"Pettiness doesn't suit you, my love." He whispers as he leans closer to him and suddenly he boots one of the chairs legs as it breaks strangely easily (or Valentino is stronger than you might expect), Ernesto falls onto the ground and Valentino starts kicking him in the stomach. His face doesn't move as he professionally does his job and no one even looks up. The pointy shoes he is wearing must make the impact even worse. When Ernesto seems to have head enough he kneels and grabs him by his hair, pulling his head back as he brings his mouth closer to his ear.
"Last Sunday in my bedroom you were singing a different tune. I am doing this as the leader of the mafia, not your lover.... Remember that but get me a fucking signature, today.... Or else, I swear on my life that I will fuck a patient and then fuck you just to spite you. Don't forget Ernesto, I know everything about you, I own you. Remind me, when was the last time you killed a patient. A child, wasn't it?? You knew you had developed tremors didn't you?"
"I'll get you a signature now, do you have the documents?"
"Good boy," He says as he gently pets the curls. "Of course I have the papers."
Ernesto signs them and shakes his head.
"I still have a hard time understanding you Val."
"I don't expect you to understand, I expect you to have respect for me Ernesto." He sys with a faint smile as he stands up.

They walk out of the restaurant with a signature and a smile on their faces and their chins in the air.

Valentino and Romeo are sitting in a restaurant and they're waiting for their food. When the waiter puts the Pasta with Pesto alla Genovese. Romeo starts to scarf down the pasta in a record time.
Valentino chuckles and shakes his head.
"Let me guess, Aurelio prepared the breakfast normally and this is the first thing you know." He says as he leans on the table.
"How'd you know?" Romeo asks with a mouthful of pasta.
"Don't talk before you've swallowed."
"That's what he said." Romeo says with a chuckle, and Valentino hits him over the head.
"Your mother didn't teach you how to cook? Or your grandmother?" Valentino asks as he tilts his head.
Romeo shakes his head. "They said I acted like a woman enough to make me a homemaker, they were afraid I would become even more effeminate I suppose."
"What a strange thing to be frightened about." Val says as he steals a fork of pasta.
"Tell them that.... They would be absolutely deadly afraid of you. You're everything I would not be allowed to be."
"Well, technically I agree that being a mafia boss should not be the aspirations of anybody."
"Valentino, do you mean to be so closed off about who you are beneath everything that's easy to see or is it a defence mechanism?"
Valentino frowns and takes a sip of his wine as he grabs a cigarette. "I think it is just who I am nowadays. I know who I am and I do not need to make a statement of it. It's not hiding it, it's forgetting to advertise it. And seriously Romeo, you can't tell me I am not a lot more honest than your real parents."
"That's true, but you neglect talking about deep things. Like what Ernesto said, what does he mean you let a family member die?"
"Ernesto knows too much, what we whisper to our pillows isn't supposed to be shared is it?" He says with a smile as he lights the cigarette. "Anyway, if you really want to know we should start by little Val right? I had always been a misfit, but didn't feel like it affected me that much. I knew who I was and I didn't care for the possibility of changing. Neither did my parents, or at least my dad. My mother... had another opinion." He says and sighs. "I was lucky with parents like that. I know they loved me, they just didn't understand me. I ran away eventually, a few weeks after Ivo ran away from his home."
"I don't get it Valentino, it seems like a good story."
"For me it was, but I had an older brother, he had been born in the body of a woman though. And that was a step too far for my parents. They couldn't afford to understand them. And when he felt safe enough to try and explain it to our parents I no longer lived there. He was alone with the sometimes violent father that I had abandoned.... He hung himself a year after I ran away. They buried him in a dress....." he takes a deep breath.
"Why does Ernesto say you killed him?" Romeo says as he tilts his head.
"Because I have the grandeur and delusion that if I had taken him he wouldn't have died..... But I still doubt if that's true. Still, I will forever regret not being there for my brother. But regret is strong, it can change the courses of hundreds of lives when you hold it in your heart and nurture it with love. The best thing about it is that it changes you. I have learned not to let someone down again, I haven't in more than 14 years. And I don't plan on starting now Romeo." He says as he touches the locket he is wearing around his neck.
"I admire you Val, I want to be like you when I grow up." Romeo says with a smile.
Valentino sighs and looks at the face of the boy that strangely resembles a youthful reflection of himself. "Never aspire to be anyone but yourself Romeo."

"You know, I wish I had the guts to talk to my dad. But even when I think about it I begin to shake." Romeo says as he shakes his head.
"Why's that?"
"He loves me, I love him. I never thought I would disappoint him like this." Romeo says as he shrugs.
"You may fail to see that it is he who has disappointed you. You haven't changed, you've been gay for years. He worries more about the thoughts of others than the happiness of his son. That doesn't seem the right priority, or maybe he just hasn't thought about it. However much it hurts sometimes we must try to give people a second chance." Valentino says as he looks at the little lover sitting in front of him.
"I don't know about this Val, it seems complicated."
"You know Romeo, I don't do this for the money or the power. No, this all started for me as taking back control from everyone I was and everyone I have been. But it slowly became so much more. The ability that I could show people the way, the people who were what I had one been. I could guide them, let them take the easier path. Always be there for the, it was never about power or crime, who wants to be a violent criminal? No, My mafia was about the only part that ever was a good thing about the mafia. Family. Eternal family. The duty of care. This are the things that make me happy. Everything has turned out better than alright for me."

"Do you think I should talk to my family?"
"Do you love them."
"Of course Valentino!"
"Than I don't see why not, why don't we plan a date for it and I will join you then. What is it that you would like from them?"
"I would like to be able to explain, and maybe see them once in a while."
"We'll be able to do that Romeo." He puts his hand on his shoulder. "Trust me. We can arrange anything you want with the right conditions."
Romeo looks up, his plate licked clean,
"You really need to learn how to cook don't you? I will ask Ivo if he has time to spare...." Valentino says as he looks at Romeo. "You're hopeless Hun...."
"Hey, you don't give up people do you?" Romeo says cheekily.
"You're a pain in the arse...."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"Are you calling me slut?" (I advise you never to ask that question again Valentino, most of the time the answer is yes.) "I'll give you a ride home you absolute child..."