I Never Feel This Way.
You wake up to Tony watching you sleep. You give him a soft smile. "Are you watching me sleep, Stark?"
" I was pleasantly surprised when I woke to find you still here. I pegged you for the kind to slip out before dawn." He says as he runs his hand over your arm.
"Well, you wouldn't be far from the truth, and I'm surprised I'm still here, too, " you say with a chuckle. You look at the clock; it reads 10:30 a.m. "Tony! It's 10:30 in the morning. Why didn't you wake me? I need to get out of here."
"Yeah, and it's Saturday. We don't have anywhere to be, so why the rush?" He leans over and nuzzles your neck.
"Everyone in the compound is going to be awake. It will be a miracle if I don't get caught walking out of here." Your eyes close with the sensation of his mouth on your neck.
"So? What are you afraid of? Hurting Capsicle's feelings or pissing your brother off?" He kisses you but then pulls away. "Wait, are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"
"Stark, I know I'm the first one to say that Steve and I aren't exclusive, but I don't want to rub it in his face. It's one thing to flirt in front of him, but me coming out of someone else's bed is a whole other thing." You reply.
He pulls you up against him as he continues to nibble on your neck. "Well then, I suggest setting an alarm from now on." His hands migrate down your body as you feel the heat building between you.
"What makes you think this will ever happen again?" You place your hands against his chest.
"Because you're still here." He says with that smug "Stark" grin.
"Now I really need to leave." You give him one last kiss before you jump out of bed and throw on your clothes.
You somehow manage to get back to your room without running into anyone. You quickly shower and get dressed to go for a run after you get some coffee.
You head down to the kitchen when Bucky jumps into the elevator with you. "You just get up? That's not like you." He says questioning.
"No, I've been awake. Just restlessly wandering around for a while." You say nonchalantly.
"Huh. I could have sworn your bed didn't look slept in?" He watches the elevator door as he talks to you.
"I said I've been up awhile just wandering, trying to clear my head." You say defensively. "Wait a minute. You checked my room?"
"Hey, I just came to see if you wanted to grab breakfast. I must have just missed you, I guess. " he says with a raised eyebrow.
You get out on the kitchen level. "Guess I'll catch you later." You say as you exit the elevator.
"Hey," Bucky yells after you. "Steve and I might go for a run later if you want to join?"
"I'll think about it." You holler back as you spin back around and head for the kitchen.
When you walk in, Nat is sitting at the counter finishing her breakfast. She looks up as you walk in. "You're awfully late this morning."
"Does everyone track my sleep patterns around here?" You say, a little annoyed.
She shrugs her shoulders at you. "Doesn't matter to me."
You pour yourself a cup of coffee and grab a Danish from a basket on the counter. Then you sit down next to Nat.
"So you and Clint? You two caused quite a stir on the dance floor last night. I would ask if you continued that tango back in his room, but I saw him coming out of his room this morning, and his bed was definitely empty." She says with a big smile but a hint of disappointment in her voice.
"I can't say that I wasn't thinking about it." You nudge her shoulder with yours and giggle a little.
She looks at you for a second. "For someone not getting any last night, you sure have an afterglow about you."
About that time, Tony steps into the kitchen. "Nat. Jo." He smiles at both of you. "You ladies look refreshed this morning. I guess that party was what everyone needed."
You shift in your seat and try not to make eye contact with Tony. Nat tilts her head a little and stares at Tony for a second. "Yeah, I guess it was, " she says with a smile. "Jo, can I talk to you for a minute outside?" She says, standing up and touching your arm.
"Yeah, of course." You grab your coffee and follow her out onto the balcony in the living room.
She quickly spins around with a huge smile on her face. "You weren't with Clint last night because you were with Tony!" She exclaims.
You are caught off guard by her observation. There is no way she could have known. "That's ridiculous! What makes you think I slept with Tony?" You say with a laugh, trying to play it off.
"One, you are the last two to wake up this morning. Two, you have that just had great sex glow about you. Three, you wouldn't look Tony in the eyes, and the nail in the coffin...he called you Jo. He's never called you Jo, and you've never let him. You are busted. Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong." Nat says, giddy in her conclusion.
You grab her arm and pull her closer out onto the balcony. "God damn it, Nat and your Black Widow training! Yes, it happened, but I didn't mean...it wasn't planned..it just.." You're not sure why it's bothering you so much to say it."
"Hey, it's none of my business..unless it was really bad. Was it, was he?" Nat asks curiously.
You look up at her, and a wide smile spreads across your face. "No, the exact opposite. My god, Nat, it was amazing. I mean I knew Tony could be charming but this, this was completely unexpected. Steve is amazing, don't get me wrong, but there was just something more there last night." You let out a sigh of satisfaction.
Nat leans against the balcony rail as a realization hits her. "Oh my God, you're falling for him!"
"What? No!" You shake your head in denial. "Me falling for Tony, that's insane."
Nat shakes her head and smiles. "Then why do your eyes light up every time you say his name? You haven't called him Stark once this morning; you never call him Tony."
Your head starts to spin. "I... I don't know. Could I be falling for Tony? I don't know what I'm feeling, Nat." You put your face in your hands and rub your temples.
"But you are feeling something. You just admitted it. Why is it so bad if you are?" She says softly.
"I'm still trying to figure things out with Steve. I love him, Nat, I really do, but I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore. I've hurt so many people, Nat; I don't know if I could handle hurting Steve."
She puts her arm around you as you look out over the grounds. "Your life for so long has been lived by what other people want you to do. I know what that's like firsthand. But this is your life now, Jo. You need to do what YOU want, what makes YOU happy, not other people."
You lean your head on her shoulder and let out a sigh. "Thanks, Nat. You and Bucky are the only ones that really get it." You turn towards her. "I really need to go for a run and clear my head. Just don't say anything to anyone, please."
"Your secret is safe with me." She says as you start to step away. "But you owe me the dirty details still!"
"Maybe later over drinks. My room tonight, Ok?" You say as you walk back into the building and head for the elevator.
Much to your relief, Tony is gone from the kitchen as you pass through it to the elevator. You get into the elevator and hit the button for the ground floor. As the doors close, you let yourself fall against the back wall, holding yourself up with the railing. What are you doing? Why is last night with Tony getting under your skin so bad?
Mmm, last night with Tony. Your mind starts replaying every touch, every kiss, and sensation he sent through your body. You feel the heat rise again in your chest just thinking about it. You lean your head back against the wall as your heart rate increases.
You are so lost in your thoughts that you don't realize the elevator has stopped. Suddenly, the doors open, startling you out of your reverie as Sam steps into the elevator.
He gives that infamous bright Sam Wilson smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."
"That's okay. I was just lost in thought, that's all." You say, knowing your face was flushed from remembering last night.
"I'd like to be lost in whatever thought that was 'cause it looked like a good one." He nudges you and gives you a wink.
"Why, Sam Wilson, you know you're already in my fantasies." You say, blowing him a kiss.
"Woman, keep talking like that, and you'll give me a big head.
As the door opens to the gym level, Sam exits. You call out after him, and he turns around. "Oh, I'm sure it's big enough for me already."
As the doors close, a grin spreads across your face as you watch him stumble over his own feet as he turns back around.
You laugh all the way to the door outside. You step out to a perfect day to go for a run. It's cool but not too cold, and a gray haze in the sky is still blocking the sun. You stretch and head out towards the lake.
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