You wake up the next day with a slight ringing in your head. Something feels different, but you can't put your finger on it. You sit up to see Bucky slumped in his chair, sleeping.

As you look at him, you suddenly see the two of you on gurneys. You shake your head to make it go away. Then you sit up and rub your temples, trying to mute the ringing.

You go to stand up, but you feel lightheaded and start to stumble. "Bucky..." The words are out of your mouth before you even realize what you're saying.

Bucky's eyes fly open at the sound of his name. He sees you stumble and fall to the floor. He runs to the glass, desperately wanting to open the door and help you. He knows that it might be a trick, so he kneels on the ground and looks at you.

"Joey?" He says apprehensively, expecting a hostile response.

You look up, and your eyes are still blank, but the anger that was once so prominent is not there.
"Buck, what did you do...?" You say as you start to remember Maximoff and what she did.

"Jo!" You can hear the excitement in his voice. "Where is Alpha?"

You tilt your head a little. "She's in here but quieter. Buck, you let the witch mess around in my head, didn't you?" You say disappointed.

"I had to Jo. It was the only way we could save you, keep you here with us. You don't have to go back to Hydra." He says as he holds back tears as he realizes what Wanda did is working.

"Bucky! They'll come for both of us now. I failed them, you know what they do when you fail! I can't go through that again, not now. I can feel the wall is loose, I can't feel all that again, Bucky please." You plead with Bucky. You can't handle this feeling. It's not fear, but it's uncertainty, and you haven't had that emotion in years.
The door to the room opens, and Steve walks in. He sees both of you on the floor and rushes over to Bucky.

"Buck, what happened? What's wrong?" He can't take his eyes off of you. There is something different about you. If he didn't know better, he would say you look vulnerable.

"It worked, Steve. It's Jo in there." Bucky stands up and steps towards the cell door.

"Bucky, don't. It could be a trick." Steve grabs Bucky's shoulder.

"I know my sister, Steve. She's in there or at least part of her. Lock the door behind me, I don't care. I'm going in there." Bucky hits the lock release button on the wall. The door opens and Bucky is through it in a flash. Steve closes and locks it behind him.

Bucky slowly walks up to you, the voice in the back of his head wondering if Steve is right.
"Joey?"

You look up at Bucky, you haven't been this close to your brother and not trying to kill him in years. You start to stand up. "Bucky, I don't think you...Ahhhhh!" You scream and grab your head as a stabbing pain goes through your temples. "You shouldn't be in here." You manage to say through the pain.

Bucky puts a hand out to you. "It's ok, Jo, I trust you."

As he gets closer, the pain intensifies. The room starts to spin, and your legs get weak. Bucky grabs you just as you pass out. "Joey, I'm here, and I won't leave you. I promise."

Bucky looks at Steve through the glass and shakes his head. He turns and places you on the bed, brushing your hair out of your face before he gently kisses your head. "I love you, pipsqueak."

As you sleep you start to remember in little flashes. You remember being grabbed during the attack on your unit and waking up in a cell. You get another flash of soldiers walking you into a room and seeing Bucky in a cryo chamber. He was missing his arm and looked half alive. In another flash, you see Bucky in the chair being wiped again. There is a coppery taste in you mouth, it's your own blood, after they beat you in front of Bucky.

You wake up a few hours later and look at Bucky's chair. For a moment, your heart skips when you notice it is empty. It passes as quickly as it came. Why did the empty chair make you feel that way?

"How are you feeling, Jo? Is your head OK?" Your gaze follows the voice. Steve is standing against the wall, watching you.

You rub your head a little. There is definitely a dull ache still there. "It's bearable for now. Where's Bucky? I didn't..." You look down at your hands, trying to remember what happened.

"No, Buck is fine. I actually convinced him to sleep for the first time in several days." Steve says as he grabs the chair and pulls it in front of your cell, flipping it around and straddling it. "You sound scared that you hurt him?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Steve, why did you let him do it? Why did you let the witch in my head?" You stand up and walk to the glass.

"It was the only way we could get you back, Jo. It was the only way I could get you back. " he says, looking down at the ground.

"Stevie, don't you realize what you've done? I can feel things weakening in my head. I know you wanted to get rid of Alpha, but do you know the cost? Everything I had them lock away, all the fear, the pain, the self-hate, is all going to come back. I'm not strong enough to go through all of that again." You say as you slump to the floor. The pounding in your head starts to increase.

"Joey, you had them do that because you were alone. You're not alone in this anymore. We can help you through it all. I wasn't there for you the first time, but I am now. I'll be by your side every step of the way." Steve puts his hand to the glass.

Your head starts to pound again, causing you to push on your temples. "Stevie, god, it hurts." You get a flash of the first time they put you in the chair to wipe you. You can feel the electricity running through your head. You start to scream in pain. You stand up and try to walk to your bed, but you stumble back against the glass. Another flash hits you; a guard has pinned you to your bed. You scream at the top of your lungs, holding your head.

Steve can't take watching you in pain. He runs to the door, hits the lock, and opens it.
As he approaches you, he notices your eyes are glazed over. You've backed yourself against the cell wall.

"No! Please don't! Please stop! Please!" You start screaming and kicking your legs.

Steve's heart breaks, realizing what you are remembering.  He kneels down in front of you.
"Jo, it's ok, you're safe. I won't let them hurt you anymore. Jo, look at me, please?"

You continue to scream and kick. Steve reaches out and touches your leg. "Joey, honey, please. Look at me. I'm here. I won't let them hurt you."

You hear his words and look at him. " Stevie??"

"Joey, I'm here, honey." He says as he holds out his hand.

You start to crawl towards him, but the pain becomes too much, and you collapse. He scoops you up in his arms, and you wrap yours around his neck and bury your face in his chest. Steve presses his lips against your head.  "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, Joey. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you."

You manage to whisper. "I know Stevie." Before you go unconscious in Steve's arms.

These kinds of moments continue over the next two weeks, but some good memories also come forward. Even though the memories, good and bad, are coming back, the emotions are not following.

You sit with Steve, looking at an old photo album he found. You remember those moments, but the emotions connected to them are still missing.

"Oh god this was that day on Coney Island, Bucky made me ride that roller coaster and.." Steve recalls.

"You threw up all over the place, " you interject, remembering Steve's green face. I remember that. I know it's supposed to be a happy memory, but I just don't feel it. It's like I'm looking at someone else's life, not mine. I laugh because I know I should, so I do." you say with a hint of frustration in your voice.

"Jo, it will come in time. Wanda told you it could take a long time for everything  to return." Steve says as he watches you flip through the book. "Do you want them to come back?"

You stop and stare at the pictures in front of you. You think for a moment, then let out a sigh. "I don't know, is that wrong? See, I don't even know how I feel about all of this anymore."

Steve leans over and touches your hand. "No, it's not wrong. You went through more than any human being could stand, and nobody blames you for wanting to lock away the feelings connected to that. You do want the other emotions, though, don't you? You want love and happiness, don't you?" Steve asks hesitantly, afraid of your answer.

"Maybe. I guess. With love comes heartbreak, and you can't always be happy. It's the ying and yang. You can't have light without darkness. It's not that I don't want to love or be happy, but I don't want the negative. I'm on overload with those."

The next morning, you're sitting and eating breakfast when Bucky walks in. "Hey, Pip Squeak. How did you sleep last night?" He asks as he pulls his chair up to the glass.

"Morning Bucky. I actually slept most of the night. I only woke up maybe twice." You say as you finish your breakfast.

"I can tell you look good." He gives you a smile.

"What do you mean, you can tell?" You ask, curious to know.

"Your face says it all." He points to his mouth.

You lift your hand to your face. You can feel yourself smiling. " I guess I am. Apparently, my body knows I'm happy; I just wish my brain knew."

Bucky continues to smile at you. "It's a start in the right direction. The rest will come in time."

"God, do you and Steve read from the same script or what? That's the exact same thing he said to me yesterday."  You say as you lean back in your chair.  "Seriously though, you still insist on calling me that? I'm 105 Buck!"

"What? Do you mean Pip Squeak? Damn straight, you're going to be 205 and I'm still going to call you that." Bucky laughs at you.

"205? I hope I don't live that long." You roll your eyes at your brother, knowing deep down that you don't mind the name. It reminds you of a simpler time. " So, what brings you here so early this morning?"

Bucky takes a deep breath. "I heard your visit with Wanda went well yesterday. You actually let her in the cell and didn't need to be restrained."

"I may have been wrong about her. We actually have a lot in common, being Hydra test rats."
You say with a chuckle. "We talked yesterday, like really talked. I haven't had a conversation like that in a long time. It was...nice," You say, looking for the emotion.

"Well, Wanda was impressed with your progress, keeping Alpha in control. That made its way up the chain, so Fury is coming to meet with you today." Bucky says as he rubs the back of his neck, unsure of how you will take the news.

"As in Nick Fury? Why does he want to see the lab rat in person?" You say sarcastically as you shift in your chair. You get that feeling again: uncertainty.

"No, that's not it, Jo. I believe he wants to talk about your release. I think he's going to let you out of here. I'm sure he'll have conditions , it's Fury, he always has conditions." He looks at you with such hope. You start to worry that you won't be able to live up to these expectations.

"I can't promise anything, Bucky. You know that, don't you?" You remind him that part of Alpha is very much alive.

"I know Jo. Just listen to what he has to say. Steve and I will be here along with Wanda." He stands up, looking at you. "He'll be here soon. You might want to freshen up."

"I'll do my best, Bucky. I want out of this cell, too." You watch your brother walk out of the room. You touch your chest for a moment. Why is your heart rate increasing? Is this what it feels like to be nervous? It's been so long you aren't sure.

Fury enters the room an hour later, and Wanda, Steve, and Bucky are in tow. You stand up almost at attention.

"At ease, soldier. There is no need for that here. Although it would be nice if I could get that from these two every now and then." He says looking at Steve and Bucky. "Do I address you as Alpha or Jo?"

You're caught off guard by the question. "Uh...Jo is fine."

"That was the answer I wanted to hear. I've been keeping close tabs on your progress. Wanda here assures me that Alpha is no longer in control."

You stand there wondering if this is a loaded question. "She is present but no longer in control. She will always be a part of me, but I believe I am free of Hydra's control over her. Over me."
You look him in the eye as you say this. It's the first time you have said that out loud since Wanda loosened the wall and Alpha's control. You've felt it but haven't actually admitted it to anyone.

"Here's the deal, Lieutenant Barnes. I trust Wanda's observations, along with Steve's and your brothers. I can't just let you out to roam free unmonitored. The public and government won't let that. You will remain here on the compound unless accompanied by at least one other team member. You will continue to have weekly check-ins with Ms. Maximoff without fail. You will give S.H.I.E.L.D. all locations, members, and assets that are known to you. You will be allowed to go on missions to bring those down. If, for any reason, you give anyone on the team reason to doubt your control over Alpha, you will be immediately remanded into custody." He says, looking you straight in the eyes, never wavering in his tone.

"Hydra will do everything they can to stop me and bring me back into the fold. You'll be enlarging the already existing target on my back. I mean, just put a neon sign that says "traitor" over my head." You say defensively. Knowing that Hydra will try to bring you and Bucky back under their control at all costs.

"Take or leave it, Lieutenant Barnes." Fury says as he steps up to the glass. " I suggest you take the offer before I change my mind."

"I accept. I just hope you are ready for the hellfire that I have no doubt Hydra has headed our way." You shake your head, knowing to what extent Hydra will go to get their two best assets back.

Fury nods to Steve, who is standing over by the lock panel. "You just let us worry about that."

Steve unlocks the cell door. You hesitate, then pull the door open and step out. Bucky scoops you up in the blink of an eye. He hugs you so tight you can feel yourself bruise, but they will heal within a few hours.

Fury walks toward the door and then pauses to turn around. "Don't make me regret this, Barnes. Both of you." With that, he turns and is gone.