MILLIE

Five years later

"Hey." Elowen pops her head into my office, slamming her hand on the wall. "We're going to drink by the river after work. Should I save you a spot?"

"Sorry, Elowen. I have to work out," I reply, setting a pile of letters aside.

She groans. "Work out for what, Lee? You're toned, sexy, and utter competition. Come on. You haven't gone drinking in a year."

My fingers trail over the thin scar on my knee. An injury I earned while lifting weights, so horrific that it never fully healed. I've spent much of the past few years eliminating every ounce of fat in my body; an insecurity I haven't been able to overcome since my rejection.

I smile softly. "Sorry. Maybe next time."

Except that there won't be a next time. I can't be wandering in the dark after work hours, because I will inadvertently find trouble. After years away from my mate, my wolf has begun to retaliate. Come morning and night, my body reeks with arousal. My wolf hopes to attract Leander's lust and jealousy with the dangerous scent of my pheromones.

My only escape is masturbation. I touch myself in the morning and evening until I reach an orgasm that tastes like heaven for one second before souring. Elowen doesn't know about my predicament. She doesn't understand that I have to hide in my room every morning and afternoon to take care of my scent.

Elowen groans and disappears momentarily, returning with a small box. "I figured you would blow me off. Here. Can you organize these flash drives?"

My social life has practically flat-lined. My only companion was my aunt, who took me in years ago. Goddess rest her soul. I would love to spend more time with my friends, but I can't afford the risk.

"Sure." I push up from my desk and grab the box. The flash drives have small white labels on them listing different packs. I look for any Mockingbird flash drives out of curiosity.

"Oh! By the way, you have a visitor," Elowen says by the door.

A visitor? Here, in the middle of nowhere? It can't be my parents. We schedule a meeting once every two years, meticulously covering our tracks so Leander can't locate me.

"Who the hell is it?"

"The Alpha of the Mockingbird Pack."

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, and I think of a thousand ways to escape—through woods, or maybe I should haul myself into the lake and hope the current drags me quickly enough.

Elowen laughs. "Goddess. Why are you so pale? Here. He sent another letter for women your age."

I force a smile onto my face.

The Alpha of the Mockingbird pack is a ghost that keeps haunting me five years and thousands of miles later. Leander has put up bounties for me, sent ambassadors to packs to look for me, and keeps sending letters to every twenty-one-year-old female in the nation. I've had to submit pictures to an online database and met with one ambassador last year. I've dyed my hair, got tattoos, wear green contacts and toned my physical build, but I'm still twenty-one and under scrutiny.

I've been careful, but his persistence keeps me up at night. He won't fucking give up the chase as if the distance is driving him mad. I don't understand why he rejected me and then began tearing the world apart in search of me, but I have my suspicions. Maybe he's embarrassed. Maybe he realized that he will need an heir and the most eligible will be one borne from his mate. My strongest suspicion though, is that he's lonely. Maybe he realized his Alpha title, lands, and influence aren't enough to replace the fulfilment of a mate bond.

I know the pain. The pull of a mate bond is irresistible. We are a crescent without a mate; only becoming a full moon when we are beside them. Not only because of the mindblowing carnal pleasure, but because of the symbiotic connection. Mates are attuned to each other's feelings and are able to provide the companionship needed. There's a holy level of trust between them—so strong that it's second only to our faith in the moon goddess. Mates would neglect their own peace to uphold their second half's happiness and safety.

Leander and I were together for fifteen minutes before I ran away, uprooting our connection. But after years of being apart, our bones have become brittle with loneliness.

"I don't know why his damned mate keeps hiding. That Alpha wolf is so sexy."

My wolf stirs inside me, sending a pulse of energy that makes my nails dig into the envelope. She wants to shift, be released and wreak chaos under the sun. Even after five years, I haven't been able to yank the jealousy and attraction she feels for Leander.

I'm sure Leander's wolf is just as restless and demanding. His Alpha title gives him access to the most beautiful women in the pack, but only I can scratch that itch. Only I can provide emotional fulfillment; giving him the reassurance that even if the world goes to hell, his mate will be there for him with trust, loyalty, and love.

Bless his heart. Bless the heart of the girl I used to be.

I open the envelope and read the letter. It's written on a gold sheet of paper. As if hinting at the riches I'd receive if I returned to his side.

Millie: Return to me. I will never stop looking.

His message is always short. Always arrogant. He doesn't beg, doesn't ask. It's a command, as if I'm still his subordinate. This Alpha will never see me as his equal.

His signature is bold and large at the bottom. Millions of females have stared at his signature lovingly, brushing their fingertips across the print and wishing they were me.

I crumple the paper and toss it into the nearest trash can.

I smile at Elowen and reply, "I know, right? I wish I was the lucky one."

"At least we'll see him soon. Rumor says he's going to travel around these parts in person." She winks and heads out.

I sigh. Those rumors are my worst nightmare.

When will Leander stop looking? My aunt left her pack to move with me to a neutral territory until she passed away. An Alpha's reach is limited on this territory, but Leander is leaving no stones unturned.

He's looking for me everywhere, and I keep getting these letters because I made the mistake of using my real birthdate.

Neutral territories are small and exist as sanctuaries. My territory shelters nearly one hundred orphaned kids and war is prohibited on this land. And where there are Alphas, there are wars. That's why their presence and power in my territory are limited under the constitution.

But I can sense a shift.

I fear that Leander is sniffing around. If he narrows down my location to this neutral territory, he will look for cracks in the law to barge in and snatch me. As the first elected Alpha in centuries, the other Alphas that got their title by birthright are watching him closely. They're displeased and eager for a reason to dethrone him. That's why he has been careful.

I feel like I'm backed into a corner and there's no way to run. I've thought about leaving the country and living overseas, among the humans. But my wolf is already missing her mate. I can't rip her away from all werewolves, or my mental health will take a turn for the worse. We are social creatures, not meant to be alone.

I sit on my chair and open my drawer, grabbing the flash drive shoved to the back. I stole it years ago, right around the time I started working with the administration.

I plug the flash drive into the computer. My screen presents many familiar faces of the Mockingbird Pack. This was recorded the night I left.

The pack is celebrating their new Alpha, but as the camera zooms in on Leander's face, it's clear he's looking for someone. He inhales deeply, searching for a particular smell and frowning when he doesn't find it. To this day, I'm convinced he had been looking for me because the bond had begun to spin loneliness in him. It has snowballed into these vicious campaigns to locate me.

I haven't seen him since and don't know what he looks like anymore. I make sure to avoid his picture whenever I pick up a newspaper reporting on the Mockingbird pack. In my head, he's still a lean, arrogant sixteen-year-old kid.

Although it has been five years, I doubt he has changed. His demanding letters are proof that he still thinks the sun revolves around him. Maybe it does on the Mockingbird territory, but not here. He's not my Alpha. Not my boss. I will run from him until the moon stops pulling oceans.

Sometimes I entertain the thought of going home. I'm not an all-seeing moon goddess so I don't know what has changed. Leander might have had a change of heart. But there are so many rumors surrounding him that I fear what I'll find if I return home. There are rumors that he's a womanizer, short with pack members, and disrespectful of the moon goddess. Rumors that he became a drug addict, like the Alpha's heir.

The last time I met my parents, they tried to keep him out of the conversation. But there wasn't a hint of encouragement for me to return home. They want me to stay away, and I trust their judgment because they know Leander better than me.

I close the video, which is safely stored in a private folder that contains all my research. Over the past five years, I've been looking into severing our link. I should have asked Leander to end it years ago, but he wouldn't have agreed because it would have cost him the trials and the Alpha title. Rejections come at a price: fevers and pain for months. I was afraid at the time—too young and weak. Now, I'm ready.

In my research, I came across myths. Eclipses, mystical stones, and scrolls that may sever a mate link. But the information is vague. I need access to a protected archive to read more about it. Only Alphas have such high clearance.

I organize the flash drives and force my past to the dark corners of my mind, where it belongs.

Outside, I hear children playing. Their laughter is a comforting sound. They make me feel like my work here in this neutral territory is meaningful. I am more than a runaway, more than a coward.

Work is repetitive, but I enjoy the stories within the files that I come across. The kids aren't helpless orphans. They have talents, dreams, and incredible resilience. They taught me a thing or two about perseverance.

I lock the office down and walk away from the small building. It's adjacent to the infirmary, tucked right by the woods.

I always feel uneasy at this time of day because I usually walk home alone. The nearby woods seem to leer. They're dark and dense. In my nightmares, a grey wolf lurks in there.

Felix, my coworker, waves from a distance. He's a nice guy with biceps that look sexier when they flex as he plays with children. I've wondered what it would be like if I weren't mated to a powerful, relentless Alpha. If I had a simple life. But my raging wolf quickly tore that fantasy apart. I can't bring myself to approach a male. I can't do that to my wolf.

I glance at the sun. As it sets, my body awakens and nature calls.

It's a frustrating schedule, but it's a price I'm willing to pay for freedom.

***

I'm sitting in the office the next day when I hear it. "News from the Mockingbird pack shocks all territories as Alpha Leander" — I reach for the radio and raise the volume — "presents a Luna candidate for the first time since he claimed his title. The news comes a week after his campaign searching for his missing mate, Millie. Our sources confirm that this candidate is a young female from the Mockingbird pack."

I rise from my desk and shout, "Taking a break!" as I leave the office.

I run to the edge of the woods, tossing clothes as I go until I'm nude. Then I explode into fur, claws, and fangs. I take off, running a lap around the territory.

That crooked man. His heart is as grey as his eyes.

My heart pounds with rage and hurt.

I knew Leander would move on one day. I knew he would give up on his search, but today is not that day. He knew I would hear the news. He introduced this "Luna candidate" a week after publishing the letter to punish my defiance.

He's terrorizing me, although we're a thousand miles apart. I hate that I feel this way; that I still care. But the mate bond is so strong that it throttles my will. It's like a sentient being, convinced that it knows best. It knows that we would be in paradise if we just forgave and forgot.

All I can do is run from the mate bond. I'm powerless. Hiding in the shadows to escape a cruel hunter who has shot me with an arrow and is tracking the trail of my blood to finish me off.

I stop running, my fur covered in leaves and dirt. I shift back to my human form and kneel on the grass, wiping my eyes before the first tear sheds. My fingers fall to my forearm, tracing my tattoo of an oak tree.

When I left the Mockingbird pack, my mother told me with teary eyes that Lunas chase no one. They are like the most ancient trees in a territory. Sturdy, wise, and planted with roots that expand across the forest and nurture younger trees. She told me that great ones are never uprooted. That Lunas should never stand to chase after anyone. She encouraged me to leave and not look back.

In my teenage years, I didn't see myself as this great, powerful woman who the world revolved around—I still don't. But I left because I didn't want to be Leander's after his rejection. He is the one that's chasing, but it's about time that someone trips him.

I shift to my wolf form and return to where I left my clothes. I've been hiding for years, taking all the blows. Enough is enough. I'm tired of playing the dead horse while still getting kicked.

As I storm into the office, I cross Felix.

"Lee? You alright?" he asks.

I'm shaking with anger as I reply, "Fine. I just need to give the world a taste of justice."

He shakes his head. "That's the Moon Goddess' job. Don't play with fate."

Mother Luna forgot about me a long time ago. And although I still respect and worship her, I'm no longer waiting for a miracle that won't come. I write my own story now.

I read the news article about Leander's new Luna. There's a picture attached. She's beautiful. Brown hair, brown eyes, and a soft smile. Her name is Emilli; the letters in my name re-arranged. She's 5'6'', just like me. Her eye color, haircut and color are the same as I used to have before I dyed and cut it. Hell, she even has identical ear-piercing combinations. It wouldn't surprise me if Leander punched them himself.

Leander chose her for a reason. I want to rub salt in his wounds by reminding him that this beautiful girl with a similar name and features can never replace me.

I grab a fresh sheet of paper and a red pen, and I get to work.

Leander,

Congratulations on settling down. I'm flattered that you chose a Luna who is my spitting image. I might return the favor and name my firstborn after you. I'll spread the dozens of letters you've mailed to me throughout the years on my bed and let my man fuck me until they're all crumpled. Wouldn't that be a thoughtful way to breed little Leander?

Warm regards,

Millie

Once he reads this letter, Leander's face will get as red as the ink. There's no identifying information on it. There's no way it can be traced back to me, and that will make Leander even angrier.

I seal the letter in an envelope but hesitate to toss it on the send pile. I stare at it for minutes, stuck between temptation and rationality. I know that I'm being reckless and petty. Would his fury be worth it?

What if he somehow tracks me? My heart races at the thought. I close my eyes and exhale, reciting the constitutional law I've memorized.

CLAUSE X.I

Alphas or Alpha Regents are forbidden from entering protected neutral territories aerially or walking across border lines. Alphas cannot command werewolves in their ranks to retrieve any protected persons from these territories.

Even if Leander locates me, he can't cross the land without serious repercussions. As an Alpha who didn't get his title by birthright, he's in hot water. He can't afford to upset the other Alphas.

My fingers dig into the envelope, creasing it. My fiery anger slowly subsides until logic suffocates it. I don't want to risk my location. I can't jeopardize everything I've worked so hard for in the past five years.

I must be mature and level-headed.

With a sigh, I toss the envelope on a pile of papers destined for the shredding machine. Without giving it another glance, I leave the office and go for a much-needed walk.

At least, in that moment, I thought I threw the envelope in the trash pile.