MILLIE

Dozens of pack members watch the exchange. Every moment is seared into their memories. They don't move a muscle, fearing Leander's fury will be directed toward them.

They stare at me like a lamb that's about to be sacrificed to the god of war.

I lick my lips again, begging my mouth to not stutter. I won't lie; I'm intimidated. But it's an emotion I've overcome many times before. I was intimidated about being on my own when I ran away from the pack. Intimidated when Leander found me. But I'm still here, and I'm not fucking giving in.

This male—and the cock he presents as he stands tall and forces me to kneel—won't break me.

I grip his hand on my shoulder, ignoring the heat and energy that flow between our touching skin.

"I'll be damned before I beg you for anything. You're the one desperate for approval. Conquered the Alpha title but can't conquer your mate. So, you will beg me!" I yell, beckoning everyone to hear. Let the whole pack hear. Let the moon hear.

Let the girl that I used to be, so hopeful about meeting her mate hear it, too. She doesn't need a male in her life to be complete.

I squeeze Leander's hand in defiance and shove it off my shoulder. Then I rise and turn, giving him my back. I stomp away from him. Eyes follow me, including his. I should feel guilty for locking him away, but I don't. He has done the same thing to me. He has locked me in this territory.

I walk toward the words, shuddering when I hear a distant chuckle. It's Leander. He's losing it. Perhaps he's so enraged by being embarrassed in front of his pack, that he's planning my demise.

I enter the dark woods just as I realize that someone is following me. It's the Alpha, here to finish what we started.

I sigh as rain falls on me, speeding up my walk and hoping that the woods swallow me and never spit me back out. I walk and walk for an hour. Leander follows, but although he can easily catch up to me, he's allowing space to calm himself down.

I walk off the trail, my eyes adjusting to the dark, thick wilderness. My feet are suddenly airborne, and I scream as I fall down. I ungracefully and painfully land on my ass.

"Millie!" Leander shouts.

I look around, tossing my head left and right in search of the moon. I can't see it. I'm in a fucking hole, and I don't see a way out.

Why is there a fucking hole in the middle of the woods? Is this the grave Leander dug for me?

"Leander!" I shout a warning, but it's too late. He doesn't see the hole and falls into the same trap as I did. I throw myself against the muddy wall before he crushes me with his bulk.

He lands much more swiftly on his own two feet with a round, powerful thud.

He's pressed right against me. The hole is narrow, only providing three feet for movement.

"Why the fuck is there a hole in the middle of the woods?" I grunt as I rub my sore ass, frustrated and murderous.

"It was dug to build a well," Leander replies, scanning the exit that's many feet above us. "I forgot about its location."

He looks around and touches the wall. He's breathing heavily, still frustrated about my insubordination, but he's putting his anger on hold to step into problem-solving mode. He's being a protector and a provider. An Alpha. This is a rare moment in which I admire his nature. He's not all greed and destruction. The Mockingbird people have fared well under his rule.

I touch the muddy wall and sink my fingers into it. The soil is too tender, and the rocks are wet. I will never be able to crawl out of here.

"Can you carry us out of here?" I ask him.

"It's too wet and the soil will collapse under my weight. We will have to wait for the walls to dry."

"In a hole?! I can't stay here. I—" I glance at the sky again, looking for an escape. With every passing hour, my scent will become more treacherous. It will betray my heart and mind as it sets on its selfish mission. My pheromones will call out for the man pressed against me.

Leander reads my mind. "Do you fear your reek?" he sneers.

I glare at him. "I hate—"

"No, you don't," he interjects, lowering his face and pressing his forehead against mine. "You're confused. Frustrated. But I'll teach you to—"

"No, you won't," I cut him off. Because two can play this fucking game. "You won't teach me a damn thing."

"What an ironic situation. You locked an Alpha in a basement and now you're stuck in a hole."

"You were fine!"

His eyes burn as he replies, "The fucking pack could have been attacked and I wouldn't have been able to mobilize. You played with fire. I'm not angry that you bested me. This isn't about my pride. I'm angry that you put everyone in danger. I worked too hard to protect these people. I won't let your games get anyone hurt, including yourself!"

Yes; people could have gotten hurt. But I'm so tormented by the war in my mind and heart that I'm struggling to focus on the pack. I recognize that makes me a bad Luna. I could never uphold that title. I reject it not only because Leander rejected me, but because I don't feel deserving enough for it.

"This is all fucked up," I whisper. "You want me to be a dutiful Luna but there's so many secrets between you and I that all I see is a blurred picture of an Alpha. Why don't you tell me who you fear will attack us? The random strangers that have been sighted around the pack? All you have to offer is riddles and secrets, Leander. How can you expect a woman to be meek and follow your lead when all I want to do is scream!"

Our breaths mix together, and to my trepidation, so does the scent of our desire. The minutes are ticking.

I turn around, my ass pressing against him. I grip the muddy, slippery wall, determined to find a climbing path. Thunder shakes the sky—a warning sent from the goddess. I claw at the walls, more determined than ever to get out of here. I need to return to my research. Find a way to break this cursed mate bond.

My hands drip with mud. I've been trying to get a grip, and I've gotten nowhere. The rain is stopping, but it will take time for the soil to dry.

"Help!" I shout, but I know it's of no use. We're so far into the wilderness that no one will hear us. Besides, the pack is at the party, enjoying music and gossip.

This is not how the night was supposed to end.

Leander is quiet as he watches me squirm. He knows there's no way out of here. But he also knows I'm too stubborn to give up.

I grit my teeth and glance at the sky again. Time is flying by. My body is keenly attuned to Leander's proximity. His breath curls against my neck, and my skin sparks when we brush. My glands are tingling—a tell-tale sign that my pheromones will soon go hunting. They will seek a male to seduce, and they will find him because he's here with me.

Leander is agile and strong—he had to be in order to win the trials. But I don't know if he'll be strong enough to resist nature's call. My body is hellbent on getting fucked. I don't want to find out how I'll react if he makes a move.

"I need to get out of here," I rasp.

Soon, I'm going to lose control and dig myself into a deeper hole.

An hour later, my hair and clothes are wet and Leander's scent has dominated my senses. My temperature has spiked and my lips have dried. I'm thirsty for him. I glance at him and instantly regret it. The shape of his body rattles my insides, arousing my pores to seep the sweet stench of desire that I can't control. The well has become a sauna of pheromones.

My body is keenly attuned to Leander's proximity. His breath curls against my neck, and my skin sparks when we brush.

He leans against the wall and watches me. Goddess, I ache. Why does this fire burn so sweetly between my legs? Why do the flames flare when I look at him?

"Leander. I need to go!" I spin, accidentally brushing my chest against his. My nipples pulse painfully. I hiss and throw myself backwards.

I shift my weight from one leg to another, restless. Then I find myself rubbing my thighs together. Slowly descending to madness with every spark of pleasure in my pussy. I whimper in defeat as I slide a hand past my belly, hooking a single finger against my crotch and pressing hard. Eliciting a single bolt of pressure that makes my teeth clatter.

Leander groans, showing hesitation for the first time.

I can't help glancing down. The moon is full tonight, providing some illumination. But I don't need it to see his cock. When I kneeled before its erect glory, its perfection was seared into my memory. I know every twisting vein and shade of skin. My tongue curls in my mouth as I think of them.

"Millie," he growls a warning, sensing the storm that's coming.

I slide my fingers beneath my clothes, past the feverish skin of my thighs. I touch myself over my panties, my fingers getting soaked. I feel no shame or horror. There's too much animalistic desire to recognize such sophisticated emotions.

I groan in agony. The air becomes thick. Our breaths mix and fuck, our pheromones so potent and toxic that our focus blurs.

Leander growls and reaches for me, gripping my shoulders. The force of his hold is so strong that I rock backward. He grips my wrist, pulling it away from my sex. I growl in frustration and scratch his bare back with my nails. He grabs that hand, too, and pins them both against the wall.

Feeling his cock against my womb, I rasp.

"Fuck," he pants as he pins my wrists and licks his lips. "I want you so bad."

I groan, my mind fighting my body. I close my eyes tightly and bite my lip until it hurts, refusing to beg. Refusing to let my wolf take over. As I told Leander before, he will always be the one begging.

"Not like this. I won't take advantage of you," he pants. "We're losing control. It's the pheromones."

He keeps me pinned to the wall, keeping my hands set in place. Away from both of our bodies. I feel anger, but I also feel gratitude, because I don't want this. I don't want to lose control in front of him after fighting so hard to show my strength.

He is preserving my dignity, but it clearly comes at a cost as he hangs his head and growls, fighting his own inner demons.

I pant, weak after the whirlwind of lust. Dirty with all the mud that covers my hands and the slick in my panties. I've never felt filthier.

Slowly, after half an hour, I regained some of my sanity.

What have I done?

The moon glows in the cloudless sky. Crystal clear. But its pure, beautiful moonlight isn't enough to wash away the tainting of my spirit.

I lost control. My body got the best of me, and I let Leander get too close. I thought I would be repulsed by his touch. My hate was supposed to burn too hot to allow any other feelings to bloom.

I can blame Leander all I want, but I'm just as guilty.