Gabel wanted me to beg.

Or he wanted me to at least whimper about it.

Somewhere deep inside myself I sobbed with pain and humiliation. But I focused on my contempt for him. I didn't say anything, because that would disrespect him and earn me punishment. But I could feel his discomfort. He didn't like it.

Good.

As we got dressed after breakfast in preparation for Anders' arrival, I focused on feeling utter contempt for his pretensions to be a King Alpha.

Perhaps he could roll over all of the packs and conquer everyone, but how would he rule? He'd rule through force and intimidation, and once day he'd run out of force. Or he'd simply die, and his heir wouldn't be as cruel and deranged as him, and his kingdom would split apart.

The best King Alphas, the ones who created bloodlines and kingdoms that existed for generations, they ruled through compassion and wisdom first, and violence only when needed. They never abused or humiliated their Queens. They had always revered their Queens and families.

When Platnium showed up at our bedroom door, dressed and coiffed in a delicate purple sundress, I focused on my disgust for an Alpha who would abuse a scared, holy promise just for his own amusement, and for a King Alpha who would humilate his Queen with such a cheap, tawdry female. At least have better taste!

I didn't think much of the stupid little twit who was a party to it either.

I had chosen to wear a dark blue satin dress that showed off my pale skin. And the obvious Mark on my neck. Platinum's eyes zeroed on it and her brows drew together in a little scowl.

I smirked at her. She was a dalliance. A pawn. I was the one with the Mark. I almost laughed at how stupid she was letting herself get used this way. I certinatly didn't pity her anymore.

Perhaps word would get around to the other strong packs that Gabel disrespected his Bondmate, his Bond, the Moon Herself, and it might spur them to unite against him.

Probably not, but I liked the thought of Gabel's little game working against him.

Deep inside myself, I felt the Bond twist and seethe, and I knew he was aware of me. Gabel despised being disrespected. Here I was, mocking him as no one else dared to. As no one else could.

The only way he could stop me was to behave properly, but he didn't want to behave properly, because then the Bond would win.

"He's almost ready." I told Platinum. "I'm sure he'll be out in good time."

I brushed past her and went down into the kitchen, where the ranked members of the pack had gathered. Flint, present with Beta Hix and a few others, asked me, "Where is Alpha Gabel?"

"Upstairs." I replied.

"He didn't come down with you?" Flint asked.

"No. Gardenia is going on his arm." I had thought they already knew, but I had the immense satisfaction of informing them of the awkward news. "I am going on my own. As the Alpha's Oracle."

Flint frowned, and Beta Hix's cruel face shifted into something I think was disapproval. They shifted, eyes moving. I soaked in the awkwardness and hoped Gabel felt it. It was delightful to see all those strong warriors and ranked wolves exchange nervous looks.

"You should go as the Alpha's Bondmate." Flint finally said in the strained silence.

"Alpha Gabel is the one who decided he would rather take Gardenia." I replied sweetly.

It gave me strength for when Gabel appeared with Gardenia, hand in hand. Part of me withered and died, like a single petal falling off a rose. Not even arm in arm. Hand in hand, fingers entwined.

I dismissed the dead part of me. A bigger part of me sneered under my composed mask, and savored Hix's disapproving frown. Nobody said anything, or moved, or questioned. As the line formed up in front of the house, I was herded towards the end of the line, to stand shoulder to shoulder between two of the unranked warriors.

They shifted like nervous horses.

Alpha Anders had already arrived. Gabel had kept him waiting on the patio, which I didn't think was a smart move. There was a fine line between power games and being downright insulting.

Anders was a handsome wolf, older than Gabel, struck me as capable, but worried. Very worried. With him were a dozen strong, younger warriors who I already knew by scent were no match for anything Gabel had.

Gabel introduced the ranked members of his pack, then Gardenia, but did not introduce me.

It hurt me. Cut me deep. Deep enough he felt it. Humiliating. Then I chased those feelings with mocking. This was how he had to hurt me. By playing childish games. This was all he could do to me.

Pathetic. The Moon would see all of this, and punish Gabel when his life was over.

The meeting lasted some time, and I endured it in silence. It chipped away at parts of me to see Platinum hanging on Gabel. How he would hold her hand, release it to gesture, then reclaim it. Anders thought Platinum was his BondMate, and that I was someone else's BondMate.

I wished it were true. I wished it with all my heart that I was someone else's Mate.

But not being part of the conversation, and being forced to watch Gabel's cruelty and arrogance, gave me a great deal of time to think about Gabel, and what I felt from him. All of this hurt him. Everytime he touched Gardenia, I started to recognize the little twinge of pain it caused him, everytime he deliberately ignored me the Bond punished him. All the little things I had not had time to really think about, now I did.

He liked it hurting, and overcoming the pain.

That was what it was for him: conquering pain. Overcoming things that wanted to defeat him.

That was why my scorn and contempt hurt him. Because he could not command respect. And there was not a damn thing he could do about my contempt and scorn except free me or kill me.

And either of those would be him losing and me winning.

Inside, mixed with my pain, I laughed at him. Now I understood.

I laughed. Silent, and inside, laughter bloomed like fireworks.

He actually turned his head towards me and looked, his face dark, but everyone else just wondered why he had done it, as I had not moved and betrayed nothing.

Platinum giggled and fluttered with glee at being included in the conversation and having a center stage seat. There I was, my Mark thumping into my skin demanding I go over there and punch Platium in the face, at the end of the line. But I saw it all clearly now, as if the Moon had shown me a vision. Perhaps She had.

When Gabel brushed a kiss along Platinum's fingertips at something funny she said, I almost moved. Fortnuatly I was so steeled against anything he did I caught myself, and just filed it away as something else to be disgusted with. Hix and Flint twitched, though. I think the whole line flinched, and the scent of shocked horror came up from us, and eyes darted to me before darting back to the proceedings, and even Anders noticed it.

"Will we be expecting a Bond announcement soon?" Anders asked in a dry tone of voice that carried to my ears and his warriors some steps away.

"Perhaps." Gabel told Anders.

I could surpress my reaction to pain, but I couldn't stop it from hurting when he said that. I was bound by holy magic to care about this bastard, who I would never have chosen to care about. He had taken my affection and heart by force.

Anders misread everyone's shock as Gabel finally revealing his intentions. Not that someone was already wearing his Mark.

I holed myself up in my scrying room. I could mandate nobody bother me there. Not even Gabel. I wept. Gabel knew I was weeping, but he also knew they were angry tears.

No matter how strong I had been in public, no matter how much I didn't want to hurt and I told myself I didn't care, it hurt. It hurt so much. He had taken what didn't belong to him and what I hadn't wanted to give him, and now he mangled it for his own demented pleasure.

I wasn't crying because I wanted him to love me and treat me well. It wasn't about that. I wept because I wanted to be free.

A knock on the door.

I ignored it.

Another knock on the door. Louder this time.

I untangled myself, went to the door and pulled it open a crack. "What?"

Beta Hix informed me, "I need to speak with you."

"I am busy."

"So am I."

He had his booted foot in the door.

"Fine. But do not wander around." I snapped. I opened the door for him, and I slammed it shut behind him. "Don't step in the salt circle."

He looked around the spartan room. Then back at me. I didn't try to wipe away the tears or pretend like I hadn't been sobbing.

"What do you want, Hix? Gabel sending his favorite toady to bring me missives now?"

"No, Gabel does not know I am here."

I rubbed the worthless Mark on my shoulder. "So why are you here?"

"I came to apologize for how you were treated today."

A pang hit me. "Oh."

"I did not think it would be appropriate to speak out in front of an enemy Alpha and risk the pack." Hix told me.

"Gabel would have killed you, Hix." I didn't expect anyone to die for me. Especially not Hix. My heart twisted. I couldn't take kindness right now. Kindness would make me weak. I had to stay angry to stay strong. "Even having this conversation is dangerous."

"He would not kill me." Hix said.

Of all the wolves in this pack, Hix was the last I'd have thought would ever raise a word against Gabel, or disapprove of anything Gabel did.

"Please don't put your neck out for me, Hix." I said. "I don't want your blood on my hands."

Hix's eyes trailed over my Mark. He frowned as if he was going to say something. Then his dark eyes went to me. He was quite close, close enough I could smell the force of some emotion I couldn't define. Conviction, maybe, and old regret.

His eyes were dark. Dark as my favorite scrying bowl, and in their currents were unspoken words and buried memories.

 "As you say, Lady Gianna." Hix said. He half-bowed to me, then left my room.

/**

Whew! Now I think I'm all caught up with everything. >_>

And juuuuust as my main computer decided to die at the ripe old age of 7. Let's all have a moment of silence for the old campaigner. I think the power supply (which is also 7 years old, TROLOLOLOL) unleashed its fading wrath upon its neighbors. Time to save my pennies for a new build. 

Have no fear: I still have my Chromebook. And my phone. >:D 

And guys, really. This story is SOOOOO bad. I don't even know wut I'm doing. I'm like "lolwut" while I write it. I don't even think it's like nachos. I think it's like... ham from a can or something.

Cheers-

Merry

***/