From November 19, 1982

***DEVELOPING STORY***

Mr. O (formerly Agent Orville) of Precinct 13580, though best known throughout Odd Squad for eating a 72-ounce cherry burger pie in less than ninety seconds, is also well known for owning the most Jackie Awards of any Odd Squad director. Slightly lesser known than that is that he is the oldest agent still working at Odd Squad, as of 1758 when O'Methuselah resigned in order to pursue his life passion of herding space quilts.

But in all his centuries of service, Mr. O's actual age has never been revealed to the public. Until now, when after drinking one too many chocolate milk cartons he has admitted to being "only slightly older" than the universe itself.

"Everyone says I'm only like 2,000 years old, you dig? Well that's totally bogus, I'm telling ya. Like, to the max bogus," he informed us after Carton 217 tipped him into chocolate milk euphoria.

"I like to tell all my agents that I've been 'round for as long as time itself. So like, before the universe Big-Banged itself into 'xistence."

This statement was accompanied by multiple large dramatic hand gestures and explosive vocalizations.

"Iss super radical leadship, righ'? Y'know, ya wan' all your agents to r'spect ya and think ya know whaaayour doin', an' ya do that by sayin' ya whole bunch years older'n'm, an' then they 'spect ya."

Upon being asked exactly how much older he was than the universe, Mr. O immediately grew bitter.

"Only slllighly older, righ'? I woulda been older, y'know? Much much older. Bu' then tha' therr universss hadta go'n'splode isself inta bein' here'n'all. Like, why couldnnn it'a waided a few billion yerrrs fr'me, huh? Why-why not, huh?"

At this point, the chocolate milk had slurred his words too far beyond recognition to get any more answers. It is still being investigated whether telling everyone he's old as time itself in order to foster respect is an effective strategy. More details will be forthcoming.

A/N photo taken from the OS wiki, believe it belongs to Alpha Kratt