From June 26, 1993

A centigurp discovered at Odd Creature Psychiatry last week has revealed it is suffering from an ongoing existential crisis after realizing its utter ununiqueness in the world.

"No matter how hard I try, I just can't shake off this feeling of insignificance!" the centigurp moaned. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't bounce - I've even lost my love for spheres!"

Centigurps, as many agents well know, are cute fuzzy creatures that multiply by 100 when exposed to sunlight. This means every resulting centigurp has 99 other siblings that look, think, and act exactly like it.

"You go to school, y'know, and all the teachers tell you the dumb stuff like 'be yourself' and 'you're special' and 'there's no one in the world who's like you'. For many long years I unquestioningly took these messages to heart. Until I figured out the truth..." the centigurp said as it stared wide-eyed off into the distance, just before it began to hyperventilate.

"And to think I never believed I could be so ununique and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. To think that with the push of a button, I could be zapped back into my brothers and sisters and cease to exist as an autonomous individual anymore. To think I don't even have any autonomy or individuality..." the centigurp added with a shudder.

The centigurp is currently undergoing extensive psychiatric treatment and therapeutic counseling at Odd Creature Psychiatry, where it will be brainwashed into once again accepting its puny life situation without such knowledge of a higher plane of existence.