"Can you stop?"

"Sorry." I mumbled and sat up rubbing my left arm. "Go back to sleep, love. I'm okay."

"No you're not. You've been like this for days. The twins are finally sleeping through the night and yet you're restless." Sirius yawned and leaned on his elbows. "Wanna talk about it?"

"It's Bellatrix. I've been wrapping my mind how the hell she didn't die. I pushed her into the veil myself. How could she have survived?" I said and rubbed my temples. "I've been thinking about it for days, Siri. It's starting to drive me insane."

"You didn't see her enter the veil because you stepped back so you wouldn't fall in, right?" He asked and I nodded. "Then maybe she took that chance to apparate somewhere else. I'm just guessing here."

"But still, I failed. I failed and failed miserably. I promised myself that I wouldn't let the twins live the same world as that demon and I couldn't even do that. And Harry and Ginny could've gotten killed if Remus and Sunny weren't there. Fucking Greyback was there, Sirius. Fenrir Greyback was there!" I started to cry and Sirius hugged me.

"I know, sunshine. I know how you're feeling. But look on the bright side, we're all okay. The twins are sleeping soundly in the room next to us and I didn't fall through the veil." I shook my head and cried harder.

"You were about to. I'm just lucky I noticed Bella's game plan beforehand. But you could've died too and-"

"But I didn't and it's all thanks to your amazingly cunning mind, sunshine." Sirius kissed my forehead and I shook my head. "You want the twins to sleep here? You think that will ease your nerves?"

"They're just kids, Siri. He's just a boy." I sobbed. "Harry's just a boy and they're sending him like a pig for slaughter! Just like they did to me."

"I know, sunshine."

"Lily?"

"Can't. I'm crying."

"I was gonna ask if I can haunt Dumbledore but okay then."

"No, you can't."

"WHY!?"

"Because he'll know it's you."

"I hate being dead sometimes, y'know?"

"Same here."

...

"JADE THEY'RE CRAWLING!"

"THEY STARTED CRAWLING LAST WEEK, REMUS! DON'T LET THEM NEAR YOUR WAND OR THE TABLES AND WE'RE GOOD! Now, I love the fact that you want black in your wedding dress. Me personally, I wanted a black wedding dress but I was told off by everyone in Gryffindor for that." I shrugged and Fleur laughed. "I'm serious!"

"Isn't your husband Sirius?" Fleur smiled.

"Yep, you're gonna get along with us just fine, Fleur. I love you already."

"LITTLE VIXEN!" Remus yelled and I groaned opening the door.

"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT, REMUS!? YOU WANTED TO WATCH THE TWINS WHILE I PLAN A WEDDING WITH FLEUR, RIGHT!? THERE YOU GO! HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GODKIDS!" I yelled back and Fleur laughed.

"THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!"

"MOONY, STOP BEING DRAMATIC AND LET ME SLEEP! I'M EXHAUSTED!" Sirius yelled from the bedroom and I facepalmed.

"Is your house always like this, Jade?" Fleur asked and I chuckled.

"This is a good day, Fleur. Sometimes the screaming match can go on for hours. Our limit was three." I shrugged and she looked at me shocked and I laughed.

"JADE, THEY'VE GOT MY WAND!"

"WHO?"

"MARLENE!" Remus yelled and I heard Sirius open the door with an extremely colorful vocabulary. "DO YOU SERIOUSLY KISS JADE WITH THAT MOUTH?"

"I do more than just kissing, Moony. In fact-"

"SIRIUS YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND AZKABAN WILL SEEM LIKE CHILD'S PLAY!" I yelled and Fleur jumped. "Sorry."

"SORRY!"

"HUSH! So anyways, we were talking about a black wedding dress? I have ideas."

...

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Minding my own fucking business, as should you be doing." I mumbled and took another swig at the firewhiskey. "I need something stronger."

"No, you don't. Hand me the bottle." Sirius put his hand out and I looked at it. "Sunshine-"

"Just leave me to my own devices, Sirius. Please." I shrugged. He sighed and sat down next to me. "Uh-uh. I didn't invite you."

"I thought you quit drinking like ten years ago?"

"So? I stopped breastfeeding months ago, the twins are asleep and I'm not hurting anyone." I said looking at the sky.

"No, but you're hurting yourself which means you're hurting me, Moony, Sunny, Harry, and everyone around you. You were doing so great with sobriety, what happened?" Sirius managed to take the bottle from me and I whined. "You're not breaking your ten year streak, sunshine. I won't let you."

"Just thinking and the flashbacks were too much to handle. That's all." I shrugged.

"So you decided to drink half a bottle by yourself? Why do we even have this?"

"Reasons. And yes, I can't deal with the flashbacks, Sirius. Why do you think I make Dreamless Sleep draughts and have Sunny make me some when I don't have the ingredients? Almost sixteen years ago we lost everything. This may be our second chance, but I feel as if I don't deserve it. They were our family, Sirius. We were extremely disfunctional and were at each other's throats the majority of the time, but we were family. Can you imagine how ecstatic James and Lily would've been with Marlene and Regulus? Voldemort took everything from me, from us. And he's doing it again. I can't take it anymore. So yes, that's why I was drinking. Talk about wallowing in my own self-pity." I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "It's always the same shit, huh? We leave one war scarred and traumatized to get dragged in another. That's just bullshit."

"The fact that you're laughing and not drunk is terrifying me right now. You're not drunk, right?"

"Not even tipsy, but not one hundred percent sober. More like fifteen percent drunk. Let me finish the bottle and then we'll see." I shrugged and Sirius put the bottle farther away from me. "Rude."

"Think of Prongs, sunshine." He said and put an arm around me.

"He's not here. Can't say I blame him." I mumbled and leaned on his shoulder. "I miss him so fucking much."

"So do I, sunshine."

...

"You were doing so good, Jade. Why did you drink again?"

"Reasons. And you two better show yourselves or else it's gonna look like I'm talking to myself." I mumbled and sat on the small pier.

"Hi." Lily smiled and I smiled softly.

"Honestly Vix, you have to get a grip." James smirked and sat down next to me. "Where's Pads?"

"With Moony and the twins. I told them that I needed a bit of fresh air." I shrugged. "Harry's okay?"

"He's in Slug Club, you tell me?" James chuckled.

"You've been distant again, Jade. Everything okay?" Lily asked and I shrugged.

"Let me guess. Thinking about Bellatrix again?" James asked. I said nothing and he sighed. "Vix-"

"There was no way I could've missed that, Bam Bam. I refuse to accept the fact that I failed at a simple task such as killing her. There was no fucking way I could've missed that. I pushed her in, I know I did."

"You also stepped back." Lily pointed out.

"It was either that, or I went inside the veil with her and I don't plan on being with you for another thirty years or something like that." I said putting my knees towards my chest. "By the way, I'm still angry at you Prongs."

"I'm dead, Jade. What could I have possibly done now?"

"That. You're dead and I'm not. It should've been me." I mumbled the last part and both of the glared at me.

"You've blamed yourself for years, tried to take your own life on several occasions and nearly succeeded if we haven't sent Remus to check on you, and were nowhere near sober during the first three years. It was us and we would gladly do it again if it meant that Harry is safe and that you and Sirius get a second chance. You shouldn't be sitting here and mopping about what could've been, but inside celebrating what is. You have twins, Jade. Two beautiful children that need their mum and dad to show them right from wrong. It's okay to miss us, but we're always here. All of you are getting a second chance, Jade." Lily said and I wiped my tears.

"Stop crying, Didi. I can't wipe your tears when I'm dead." James chuckled. "But Lily's right, Jade. Stop moping about what happened with Bellatrix and be the badass that I know you are. The Jade I know wouldn't be moping. She would be finding ways to make sure that Bellatrix stays dead this time while finding ways to kill Greyback. That's the Didi I know and that's the Didi I hope to see soon. Think you can bring the badass Slytherin Jade that we all know and love?"

"I think I can." I smiled softly and Lily and James smiled big.

"Good."