The evening of Alec's funeral, Jocelyn returned back to Idris.

Clary listened from the living room as she spoke with Luke in the kitchen.

"We can't find Charles," Jocelyn said. "We searched. We set tracking runes. We even interrogated a few warlocks. But he's just gone."

"How are the Lightwoods?"

"Isabelle is still missing--" Clary had heard that. "--Robert is putting on a good face. I haven't seen Maryse but it's safe to assume she's a wreck. I wouldn't be surprised if she resigns."

"From the New York Institute?" There was a pause. "And Jace?"

"I brought him back and left him in the Penhallow's care."

"We could have taken him, Jocelyn."

"And what about Clary? Does he really want to see her? Does she even want to see him?"

"She's just been upstairs this whole time," Luke said, quietly.

"It's a life of death," Jocelyn sighed. "This is exactly what I was trying to keep from her."

"I know," Luke said. "But death is going to happen in the mundane world too. It's still a shame."

Clary left the living room, retreating back upstairs.

She fell onto her bed, curling up into a ball.

She couldn't cry anymore; her eyes were dry.

There was a knock at the door seconds later.

"Yeah?" Clary called, trying to put on her most cheerful voice.

"I'm back." It was her mother.

"Oh, hey--" The door opened. Clary sat up, turning around.

"How are you?" Jocelyn asked.

"I'm doing okay," Clary said. "Did you find anything out?"

Jocelyn shook her head.

"Do you have something for tonight?"

"I'm sure there's something around here," Clary said, patting the trunk of clothes at the foot of the bed. They had all once belonged to Amatis.

"Alright." Jocelyn left.

There was an hour til sundown, when Alec was set to be cremated. So she got up, dressing in a simple white top and tight white pants. The top had red buttons down the front. 

Luke and Jocelyn were waiting downstairs.

"Are you ready?" Luke asked.

Clary didn't respond; she just continued out the door.

The city of Alicante seemed to be participating in a mass exodus. Everyone was exiting the city, walking out to Alec's funeral pyre.

Clary spent the entire trip looking for Jace but she couldn't find him. Even if she did, what would she say?

I'm sorry your best friend is dead?

Jocelyn and Luke were close behind her. Chairs were set up around what appeared to be a table of wood.

A serene looking Alec lay on top of it, arms folded over his chest.

Clary turned to run but Luke caught her, turning her around.

"You need to stay," he whispered. With his arm around her and her face half buried in his chest, the family of three found their seats.

People slowly sat down, some going straight to the front to pay their respects to Alec.

Clary couldn't help but think about how pale he was.

After sitting in silence for a few minutes, Clary saw Jace. He had an arm wrapped around Isabelle and they sat in the front row. She seemed to be leaning on him for support. She had a long white dress on and Jace was in a white suit. He kept looking ahead, not looking around for Clary. He could probably care less about her. But at least someone was there for Izzy.

The service was short. 

At the very end, everyone gathered came forward to pay their respects with the Lightwoods going last.

It took everything Clary had to approach the pyre. 

White silk had been tied around Alec's head, covering his eyes. A seraph blade was in his right hand. A smile touched the corners of his mouth.

Was he with Magnus?

"Alec," she whispered, "watch over us please. Ave Atque Vale."

She placed a hand over his cold one, simply because it felt like the right thing to do. But her hand was shaking, all the while.

Then she walked away, keeping her eyes down. She knew people would be watching her.

She sat in silence, eyes closed for the rest of the farewells.

Eventually, the officiant handed a Silent Brother a burning torch.

There was a collective whisper of "pulvis et umbra sumus." We are dust and shadows.

Then Alec Lightwood went up in red flames.

..........

Jace had spent the entire night by Isabelle's side.

While it was usually tradition for Shadowhunters to walk to Idris, Jace and Isabelle had ridden there on horseback, Jace only finding Isabelle two hours before the funeral.

When he finally dropped her off at her room in the Lightwood's townhouse, he was exhausted but unable to sleep.

He tossed and turned in the uncomfortable bed.

Eventually it was too much. He got out of bed, wandering into the hallway. 

He was still wearing the itchy white suit from the funeral.

The house was dark. He could hear Maryse's cries from the master bedroom. 

The door to Alec's room was the only one open.

Jace felt the need to go inside, to relive any memories of Alec--

But he could only move his feet away from the door, down the stairs, and into the warm night air.

Memories of Alec began flooding his mind-- running through the streets of Alicante on vacations, fighting side by side, scaring Isabelle.

He shook his head, stumbling slightly in the process.

He had a destination in mind this time.

A climbable trellis was situated underneath the guest bedroom at the Luke's house in the city.

Jace climbed it and slid open the unlocked window.

Clary sat up in bed, her red hair frizzy and flying everywhere.

"Hi," she said, breathless.

"Hi."

"How'd you get in here?"

"You were asleep?" Jace assumed.

"I was," Clary said. 

"The window was unlocked."

Clary nodded slowly.

"I can go," Jace said. But he never would have left.

"Just come here," Clary said. He took off the dress shoes he was wearing and the ugly white jacket before sitting beside her on the bed.

They sat just like he and Jocelyn had on the streets of San Francisco, now staring at the walls of Clary's room instead of the quirky people of the city.

"What do you need?" Clary asked him.

"To forget," Jace said. That would solve all his problems.

"Forget what?"

"Alec. The Lightwoods. My entire life--"

"Jace--"

"I'm dead inside, Clary. There's no other way to describe it. I feel lifeless."

Clary was silent.

Why would she say anything?

Everything seemed to be so quiet.

"Nothing will replace Alec," Clary finally said.

Nothing. 

The finality of the word so similar to death.

Jace was growing restless. He was tired of just sitting around. He needed something to get Alec off his mind.

He looked at Clary.

"Can I sleep here?" he asked. Clary nodded. 

He began unbuttoning the dress shirt.

The red runes on his arms seemed to shine in the moonlight, his parabatai rune almost a pink color because it was fading.

He let the shirt fall to the floor.

Clary had lain back down and turned away from him.

He kicked off the dress pants, leaving him only in his underwear before climbing in beside Clary.

She turned around once he had finally settled in.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he said. But this time it felt a little emptier inside.

"Are you going to be here when I wake up?"

That he wasn't sure of.

"Probably," Jace said. She closed her eyes.