i let out a frustrated sigh, leaning my head against the bottom of my locker. i had a speech competition in only three short days, and my dramatic interpretation was nowhere near where it needed to be.

"something wrong, jo?" i heard my friend, julie, ask from somewhere outside of my locker.

i sluggishly lifted my head up, for nothing else than for her to see my misery,"tell me why my director basically pimped me out to the debate coach?"

julie chuckled, shaking her head playfully at me,"because we haven't won a speech comp in years. plus, it wasn't just you, if i remember correctly."

i nodded, shutting my locker and starting to walk away with her,"yeah, she also got garette and adam."

"garette, huh?" julie nudged me suggestively, shooting a wink my way, "oh, and adam? you must be pretty happy."

a blush crept into my face, but i quickly tried to hide it with a change of subjects, "look, it's my first competition and the guys are a doing a duo interpretation, so they get to be with each other on stage. i'm gonna be all by myself and i need to be perfect. but my mom says competitions were formed in the patriarchy to pit people against each other and divide the human race, so-"

"say no more," julie held her hand up, understanding my predicament, "you can practice in my mom's studio tonight."

julie knew how...in tune with the universe my mom could be. she was the classic hippie parent stereotype, with the sage and the aura colors. i liked having a parent with an unconventional mind, until it came to my academics.

i guess if i was truly reflecting on myself, my mom's spirituality is probably what drove me to identifying as a 'woman of science'. i had been completely into the tarot cards and toe sandals, until she tried to cure my strep throat with positive affirmations.

it was then i decided that there might be some validity in science.

while i knew that was the exact answer i wanted from julie, i faltered as i realized this might be hard for her, "are you sure you don't mind?"

she sucked in a breath, nodding her head, "it's fine, mom would want you to use it. she really liked you."

"i really liked her." i replied, coming to a stop at flynn's locker.

flynn was julie's best friend, but we were all pretty close. plus, we ate lunch together, and we needed to head to the cafeteria.

flynn turned to us, wasting no time in semantics, "i know you don't want me to ask you this, but have you figured out what you're gonna do today?"

ever since julie's mom died, she hasn't been able to find her voice. she hasn't sung or played in almost a year, and today was her last chance. she had music class after lunch, and if she choked, she'd be taken out of the music program at our high school.

it was a big deal that she pulled this off today.

even if she didn't seem to think so, "i'll know in the moment." she told us, causing flynn and i to share a look of exhaustion.

"really, jules?" flynn rolled her eyes, beginning to scold our friend, "that's all you're giving me? mrs. harrison said this is your last chance."

"i know," julie nodded, "i was there."

"i wasn't, and even i know you need to start doing some vocal warmups." i chimed in, sending a small jab towards the girl.

while they took seats in the music program, i had my spot in the drama program. it involved all things theatre: acting, tech, musical theatre, dance, etc. which meant, i didn't have a lot of classes i could share with the two of them.

we had dance and physics together, but that was really all there was.

before the conversation could go any further, we heard the voice of carrie, possibly the most shallow person at our school, "see you at the rally!"

flynn grimaced, looking over at the girl with disdain,"ugh, what is she handing out?"

i shrugged, giving a glance at the vain performer, "probably just trying to get bodies to see her stupid group at the pep rally."

carrie was the star of a group called dirty candy. i had never understood the name, and still refused to learn the meaning. at the very best, carrie had just done a random word generator until she stumbled upon a phrase she liked. at the very worst, she had put actual thought into the name.

i watched as she started to walk over, and knowing i couldn't hear the condescending upward inflections of her tone, i gave a small wave to my friends, "i'll see you guys in the lunch line."

julie chuckled lightly, understanding my urgency, "yeah, we won't be long."

i nodded and blew her an obnoxious kiss, before walking away.

•

i turned the corner of the street, on my way to julie's house. i had come straight after musical rehearsal, so i was wearing a huge columbia university t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts.

while i had originally planned to practice my dramatic interpretation, it seemed there were other things in store for me.

julie would be moving soon, in hopes of hurting less. her house contained too many memories of her mom. and while that could be seen as a good thing, i understood why she wanted to leave. there's only so much remembering a person can handle.

so, julie would be cleaning out her mom's studio to get ready for shots to put on the realtor's website, and i wanted to be there to help. her mom and i were kind of close, as far as 'mom of my friend' relationships go.

plus, i knew what it was like to lose someone close to you. my brother died a couple years ago, having learned the hard way not to skateboard into oncoming traffic. we had been best friends, and though i would never admit this to anyone, i swear i could still see him sometimes.

anyway, all this to say, i thought i could be of some help to the girl.

i pulled into the driveway and parked, letting out a deep breath. i had brought my speech just in case, but for the sake of being sensitive, i left it on my dashboard.

when i arrived at the studio, all i could see julie's back. she was standing tentatively at the door, clearly afraid to enter.

a sad smile appeared on my face, and i spoke quietly as not to scare her, "hey, julie."

she turned to me, trying to find some air before answering me, "jordan, hi. sorry, i was just-"

"i know," i replied, coming to a stop next to her,"i'll be right here."

she nodded, moving a shaky hand to open the door.

when it opened, a breeze enveloped my body, sending a chill down my spine. i stole a quick glance at julie, wondering if she had felt what i had.

but she seemed completely oblivious, her eyes boring holes into the piano covered in a white sheet.

i recognized the piano as one where julie would play with her mom. they wrote songs together, and would often play my music for me when i was filming my audition tapes for local theatre productions.

the entire room was filled with memories, happy and sad, all of which seemed to flood right into julie's mind at the exact same time.

she turned the lights on, and slowly walked over to the piano. i watched silently, not wanting to disturb the moment. i knew it was important that she was alone with her thoughts, even if i happened to be in the room.

she sat down on the bench, after moving some sheet music. i stood at the edge of the piano, peaking over at the notes.

once she noticed my staring, she shook her head out of her thoughts, "why don't we check out the loft, okay?"

i nodded, glancing up at the place in question, "that's the place with the old equipment, right?"

she chuckled, walking over to the ladder that led up to the ceiling,"that's the one."

when we arrived at the top, i looked around at all the old stuff up there in distaste. it was covered in layers of dust and some things even had cobwebs.

my eyes landed on a cd that read sunset curve. i had never seen it before, so i grabbed a hold of it, flicking open the case,"what's this?"

julie gave me a blank stare, giving the most obvious answer, "i think it's a cd, jordan."

i rolled my eyes at her sarcasm, "i just didn't recognize the name. do you have a player in here?"

she nodded,"down by the couch."

"let's listen." i grinned excitedly, shutting the case as she climbed down the ladder.

i took a seat on the couch while she shoved the cd into the player.

she pressed the play button and plopped down next to me.

a rock riff started to play, and julie and i started to bob our heads along to the beat.

but before we could get too into it, the sound of three boys screaming filled the air. i winced, covering my ears at the annoying loud noise.

"terrible chorus, why would they-" i was promptly cut off by three teenage boys flashing right in front of us.

they gasped for air and groaned, trying to pull themselves to their feet. julie and i watched incredulously, waiting to see what would happen next.

i could both feel and hear my heart pumping through my chest, as they stood. i placed a hand over my mouth, wondering if julie and i were hallucinating. i wasn't entirely sure that joint hallucinations were a thing, but it was the only logical explanation.

"how'd we get back here?" an, admittedly cute, boy asked.

julie's piercing scream rang out, causing the boys in the room to yell as well. though, i myself was never much of a screamer, so i remained in a silent shock. my hand stayed clamped over my mouth, my eyes as wide as saucers.

julie ran out of the room, but i was frozen in my spot at the couch.

it took a moment to find my voice, but when i did, i wasted no time in pleasantries.

"who the fuck are you?" i asked, my hand falling from my mouth.

"woah, language." the blond boy commented, holding his hand up in defense.

i let out a disbelieving, not to mention nervous, chuckle, unable to wrap my brain around what was happening,"are you-"

"lily?" the boy in the middle questioned with knit brows, looking at me with familiarity.

i gave him a blank stare, knowing that i had never seen him before in my life. and trust me, if i had seen a face like that, i would have remembered it.

"are you asking or telling me?" i replied, deciding that if i was developing early onset schizophrenia, i might as well humor myself.

"your name is lily duke, right?" he questioned, coming closer to me.

i scooted back against the couch, giving him a confused look,"no, but i'm not sure i should tell you-"

"dude, you look just like her." another boy spoke up, leaning closer to get a better look.

i stared at the boys with narrowed eyes, wondering why i was letting my hallucinations interrogate me,"shouldn't i be the one questioning you?"

the blond scoffed, clearly not agreeing with me about that fact,"you're the one in our studio."

i knit my eyebrows in confusion, his words seeming completely foreign to me,"this isn't your studio, it's-"

i was cut off by julie jumping into the room, holding a cross out.