while staring at the ceiling was never my first choice of activities, doing anything else seemed futile.

it would have been fun to be in a band with my friends (albeit ghost friends), but i had a lot of other things that took priority. like my speech competition tomorrow, and my show that debuted in just a month.

i didn't need to worry about a stupid band.

i heard a flash in my room, and knowing exactly who it was, i turned over in my bed to ignore him.

luke sighed, seeming to finally notice my anguish, "jordan, i'm sorry."

i rolled my eyes as i watched luke walk over to the other side of the bed and lie down next to me.

when i didn't respond, or even look at him as i turned to face the ceiling again, he continued, "i didn't mean to call you lily, it's just-"

"that's who i am to you," i replied flatly, knowing my response was the plain and simple truth,"i mean, what'd i expect? if you walk like a duck, and quack like a duck-"

"you're not a duck, jordan," he said, resting his head on my shoulder,"can you let me explain, please?"

i wanted to say no, but the way was his head resting on my shoulder was making my heart flutter.

so much so, that all i could do was nod like an idiot.

"i know you're jordan, okay? i know that," he started, sitting up to look down at me,"but...i don't know, sometimes you just act so much like lily that i- i can't believe you aren't her."

i met his gaze, knowing that i was being, at best, irrational. i couldn't blame him for his thought process or the way he associates me with some girl i didn't know.

i guess mostly i was blaming myself, for thinking he liked me and not lily. whoever that may be.

"i'm not mad at you, luke," i said quietly, unable to make my voice any louder, for reasons unbeknownst to me,"it's not your fault, it's mine."

he looked at me cluelessly. it was clear that he had no idea what i meant,"why?"

i let out a sigh, knowing i couldn't explain exactly what i'm feeling. a modern aged boy wouldn't understand it, let alone a boy from the 1990's.

"i just..." i let out a sigh, before sitting up and leaning against the headboard, if for no other reason then to get out of looking at him,"i don't know- i shouldn't have- i mean, you would have thought-"

luke chuckled lightly, placing his hand casually on my knee. for him, it was just a simple, friendly gesture. but for me, i could practically feel my heart in my throat.

"jo, don't sweat it," he advised, before giving me a devilish smile,"just make it up to me by joining our band."

i rolled my eyes, still not sure i should be a part of that. i wasn't fully over what i had felt in that studio earlier, but there was no use in talking his ear off about it.

"you don't need me," i replied, looking down at my bedsheets,"julie sings, she writes, she-"

he cut me off with a scoff,"you sing, you play guitar, you were poofed on stage with us. it's fa-"

i turned to him with a playful glare,"if you say fate, i'm gonna punch your ghost face."

he rolled his eyes, looking for a new word to use and standing up, both things which would limit the chances of him getting injured by me,"fine. it's destiny, it's your calling, it's what you were born to do, you have to."

i knit my brows, not sure any of that was true, "uh, i definitely don't have to-"

"you're too good not to!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exhaustion,"we sounded awesome up on that stage. don't you want that?"

i looked at him sympathetically, not sure what i could tell him to get him to stop begging me, "luke, i-"

"stand up," he demanded, holding out his hand to me. i stared at him suspiciously for a moment, before reaching out and letting him get me up. he turned my shoulders to make me forward while he stood in front of me, before he continued talking,"now, imagine you're at madison square garden. fans are cheering our name, we're famous, and you're everyone's favorite rhythm guitarist-"

he was cut off by the intrusion of my door swinging open, my mother on the other side of it.

"hey, your dad is bringing grandma over for dinner so-," she stopped speaking abruptly, narrowing her eyes straight at luke,"is there a ghost with you right now?"

my eyes widened in surprise, as luke nervously reached over and grabbed my wrist.

"you can see him?" i questioned, giving a slight glance to luke.

she shook her head, walking closer to luke, who scrambled to stand behind me. clearly my mom's investigative nature was freaking him out.

i smiled lightly in amusement as he rested his chin on my shoulder, watching my mom suspiciously.

"no, i can see his energy," she answered, only seeming to further confuse me. thankfully, she decided to explain what she meant,"ghosts have a, um, a really bright energy. it draws in light from the windows and around the room."

luke knit his brows, trying to understand what she was saying,"so i'm, like, glowing?"

i shrugged, deciding it would be best to ask my mom,"he asked if he's glowing."

she grinned excitedly, leaning forward to whisper to me,"your ghost is a he? that's exciting! what is he, like a fifties jazz player, or maybe a boy from colonial america, or-"

i cut my mom off, thinking it was the right time to lower her ecstatic attitude,"he's seventeen, he died in the nineties from eating a hot dog."

my mom laughed, covering her hand with her mouth,"that's embarrassing-"

"hey!" luke exclaimed, no longer scared of the woman.

until of course, she walked closer to him, and he practically sprinted in the other direction.

"little bit, yeah," i admitted, smirking at the boy who was now glaring at me,"he's trying to get me to join his band."

she furrowed her brows, barely understanding what i was talking about,"join a ghost band?"

i shrugged, acting nonchalant about the whole situation,"when they play with me and julie, people can see them."

she grinned, clearly very excited to know all the knew things i was teaching her about the spirit world,"really? you have to join!"

luke nodded in agreement, smiling brightly,"i agree, tell her i agree."

i rolled my eyes, shushing him, before continuing to talk to my mom,"i don't know, it's kind of...weird."

"you've gotta at least give it a shot," she countered, using evidence to back up her reply, which was something that always seemed to get to me,"you never would have been such a great actress, if you hadn't started working for it. you were nervous, but you-"

"but i gave it a shot," i muttered, knowing she was right. after a moment of thought, wondering if i was actually crazy enough to agree to join a band with phantoms, i looked over at luke. he was currently investigating the crystals i had on my dresser,"hey, luke."

he looked over at me with raised eyebrows, "yeah?"

i let a breath out of my nose, deciding i was just delusional enough to play into his dream,"i'm in."

he giggled like a child, running over and scooping me up excitedly,"yes! reggie and alex are gonna love this!"

my mom looked at us quizzically, because to her it looked like i was floating. she tilted her head, letting out a small chuckle,"you know, this is a funny sight when you can't see the other person."

•

while reggie and luke continued to work on a song using julie's stolen lyrics, i sat at the piano bench, playing what you mean to me from finding neverland.

"jordan," luke turned to me sharply, shooting a small glare in my direction,"we're doing something here. do you really have to be playing the piano right now?"

i rolled my eyes, giving him an annoyed look, "you've been singing the same lyrics for five minutes," i began to sing the lyrics as well, seeing as they were now engraved into my brain,"you know all my secrets, i know all your deep dish."

reggie scrunched his face in confusion, looking to me for clarification,"wait, so...when she says 'deep dish' is she talking about, like, pizza or..."

i chuckled, finding the boy's question really endearing. it was cute how little they knew about the modern world.

before i fully got the chance to answer, alex popped up next to me, a smile plastered on his face.

"oh, hey man!" reggie grinned,"where ya been?"

alex shrugged,"um, kind of everywhere. i met a new ghost friend."

i nudged him playfully, noting how excited he seemed to have met this new friend,"ah, someone i know?"

"knowing your track record...maybe," he said, causing me to laugh, before he continued talking,"he answered a ton of questions."

"yeah?" luke asked irritably, jerking the lyrics of the new song away from us,"like whether or not julie's gonna join the band?"

alex faltered, looking at his leading guitarist sheepishly,"well, we-we didn't really get into that, but...i think i know why we're here."

"to make me question my sanity?" i offered, playing an ominous riff on the piano.

alex chuckled,"if that's our unfinished business, then yes. we need to finish ours so we can cross over."

i knit my brows at the familiar wording of the phrase he had used. my mom always said she exact same thing about willie. and yet, he was nowhere to be found.

"why would we do that?" luke asked incredulously, causing all of us to give him a confused look. noticing our faces, he decided to elaborate a little,"this is, like, our second chance. all we need to do it get julie and jordan to play with us. we're halfway there."

alex turned me, a smile forming on his face, "jordan, you're playing with us?"

i nodded, playing a triumphant piano riff,"i'm also working on my piano humor. thoughts?"

reggie smiled, jumping in to answer,"i like it."

"thank you, i've actually-"

"can we focus here?" luke cut me off, clearly annoyed until he saw the amused smile that was playing on my lips. he eased up, mirroring my expression as he let out sigh,"god, you're just one big distraction, aren't you?"

i shrugged, sending him a wink,"that's what all my lovers say."

he laughed, glancing back down at the lyrics to get to work,"julie's got a killer voice and lyrics."

"luke and i made an awesome melody to one of her poems." reggie informed the drummer who had been m.i.a. until only a few moments ago.

"oh, without your drummer?" alex muttered, stating sarcastically,"that's cool."

luke scoffed, giving his friend flack for missing all this time with us,"drumming is so 90's, okay? we're just gonna stomp our feet now."

alex gave him an offended look, immediately having a counter,"you know what else is so 90's? being rude, okay? get woke. these are sensitive times."

i bit my lip in amusement, knowing alex has absolutely no clue what he was saying.

he leaned closer to reggie, ignoring luke completely,"i learned that from my ghost friend."

reggie chuckled, repeating the word, mostly because he liked the way it sounded,"woke. what's it mean?"

alex shook his head,"no clue."

i laughed and ran a hand through my hair, laying my head down on the keys of the piano.