*It's been about a week since our beautiful day together in the rain. Life has changed a lot, that I had almost forgotten the warm feeling of spending quality time with you.When we got back from the park, you had to pack up and leave me again. After 2 incredible weeks you had to go back home, 5 hours away. I was destroyed. I didn't get out of bed at all except to go to the bathroom the day after you left. It was hard for me to accept that I probably wouldn't be seeing you for another few months. To help me, we have been video calling and texting almost every day. *

I sat on my bed, scrolling through Pinterest happily when my phone started to buzz. I was a little disoriented at the sudden noise, but didn't miss a beat and answered on the second ring.

"Hey!" I said excitedly when I pressed the green button.

"Hello, you!" You responded when you heard how excited I was. "Why so happy at 2 in the afternoon?"

"I'm not sure, I guess today has been pretty good." And from there the conversation took off, and we were chatting for about an hour when you said something that caught me off guard.

"Oh, I've got some....other news."

I was worried about the way you said that, because it sounded to me like something was wrong.

"What is it?"

"You know that girl you've been crushing on since December, that goes to your school...?"

My cheeks heat up with the thought of her. "uH y-yeah?"

"She's got a girlfriend.........."

I felt my heart do so many funny things in this moment I can't even put it into words. I felt the biggest heartbreak I've ever experienced. I felt the high of knowing your crush is also gay The anger that I didn't make a move the last time I talked to her. The confusion and self hatred of 'why is the other girl better than me?'. The strongest longing to be with another human being I've ever felt. It all happened so fast that I didn't realize a few tears had escaped my eyes in the past few moments.

"W-what....?" I say shakily when I compose myself a little bit.

"Yeah, she's with the girl who left your school last year.." You respond in a way I can't read.

"oh.. well at least she likes girls, that gives me a chance!"

You slam me back into reality by saying "Yes, but she has a girlfriend!" Your tone is almost defensive,almost like you want to protect their relationship. I analyze a bit and then decide to end the call. "Thanks for telling me, but I think I hear my mom calling. I have to go, bye!" I jumble out as I hang up.

The moments after I ended our call were quite scary. I didn't know how to feel or what to think. The girl I've been secretly crushing on for all of this year, has a partner. Who she loves and is happy with. 

Oh...

Instead of thinking I act. I go and change into sweats with a tank top and grab my phone. Just as I sit down on my bed, my mom actually calls me.

When I emerge in the kitchen she can tell something's wrong. "What happened?" She asks with concern in her eyes. "She has a girlfriend!" I half yell in a mix of anger and hope.

"What's her name, I'll kill her." 

I smile. " Alice. That's funny, because I know where she lives. If you killed her, I could come to the funeral to comfort Her. It would be like every gay WHATTPAD romance ever!"

She laughs and happily says,"Anything for you kiddo!"

My stepdad comes into the kitchen. "I set up a tent in the backyard, why don't you take ya sister out to play?" I really wasn't up to it, but I agreed anyway. 

I helped her down the stairs and we played together happily for the rest of the afternoon.

<3