(Warning to those who read, it's another life rant and as I read through it again, I realized how much I spoke about my desire to end life as it is. I didn't want to edit it out because I wanted to be honest with how I feel about life right now. You can continue now)

I've had enough. I've fucked myself over for the millionth time in life. Got the lowest possible average to be counted as passing on my math exam, got a D on my science exam and a C on my language arts exam. God forbid anything else turns out bad but my computer is being stupid and not connecting to this god damn hotels internet! But that's just a minor problem in life. I'm not even here because I want to, I'm here because my houses hot water sprung a leak and we needed a place to stay while my parents get financially drained a week before Christmas because of the leak. They're insisting I tell them what I want for Christmas but if I do then it'll just drain them more and I'm done with my parents feeling like shit because
A) I hate seeing my parents upset
B) Them being stressed makes me stressed and it's probably why I'm doing poorly on exams I should ace averagely.
C) All of this is just bullshit.

I just wish I could fucking disappear or make all of what's happening end so we don't have to worry anymore! It's mentally, physically, and emotionally draining... I plea for something to come to our aid and save us from whatever damnation we've been sent to. My moms restless, I'm restless (I've literally developed bags under my eyes from lack of sleep) and I don't want to eat anymore because all we can eat is fast food and junk since we can't cook our own food which is why I haven't been feeling well.

Wattpad is my only safe haven where I can only feel slightly better... Today I can't recover from the pain stemming from all of this! I don't want to exist but I'm not standing in front of a highway to end it right now because it'll cause more grief and strife. I love you all so much and I wish things could get better for us and I'm hoping it will before Christmas... Just... Be here to support me I suppose but give me space when I need it everyone. I'll need lots of it probably.