Being the only human in a crowded restaurant is a lot like being a celebrity but sprinkled with a bit of being the only minority in a boardroom full of wealthy executives. People see me and wonder, what's he doing here? The young want to take pictures with me. The elderly want to get away from me as soon as possible. I try my best to ignore it and enjoy myself.

Watching me in that unsettling way she does, that way where she always seems to know where to find my face, Colette sips her wine. When we took the lift down to the ground level, I'd called her sleeveless yellow garment a toga. She'd politely corrected me, calling it a stola. Hanging from one shoulder her stola covers one breast and barely reaches mid-thigh. Her blindfold is made from the same fabric. A golden pasty covers her naked nipple and golden rings adorn each finger.

I'd expected us to make a scene with Letty's boob hanging out. Imagine my surprise when we turned out to be the most conservatively dressed patrons at the restaurant.

Our waitress, a cartoonishly cute cyclops with powder blue skin and a purple eye, comes to our table carrying two steaming plates.

"Bison steak, medium well?" She smiles and places the plate in front of me. "Quail eggs in a sweet green nest for you, ma'am."

The waitress blushes and hurries away when Colette pinches her bottom.

"Is that appropriate?" I ask, salivating from the smell of my dish.

"Is that why you haven't complimented me all night? Are our social norms so different?"

I look over to the next table where Obera sits with a bowl of steaming soup and scans the restaurant. If people didn't know who she was by the uniform, it would be impossible to ignore her bodyguard vibes. A handsome elven waiter with long flowing fuscia hair tied up in a ponytail brings her a drink. He points across the room towards the bar where a familiar faun raises a glass.

"Marlon, I asked you a question?" Colette says, bringing my attention back to our table.

"You look great, Letty. I mean really great." I look at the scales covering her shoulders and cupping her breast.

Her tongue flicks out and she blushes.

"I can tell you like what you see." She reaches across the table and puts her hand over mine. "What's the problem?"

You might not believe this, but back home women rarely give me a second glance. I'm woefully unprepared for this kind of attention.

"You're gorgeous, but I'm really into your sister..."

"Chineelia? Why wouldn't you be? She has the advantage of youth and much softer curves. Kheelisha's younger and even curvier. " Colette makes an hourglass shape with her hands.

"Kheelisha is something else, but I'm talking about Chineelia. I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Bother me? Why would it? You're here with me. We'll enjoy our meal and each other's company, then we can go back to the apartment and I can take advantage of you." She walks her fingers up my hand.

"That sounds nice, but that would be disrespectful to your sister."

Colette laughs, deep and hearty.

"... wouldn't it?"

Her face sobers up and she takes another sip of her wine. Her brows arch as she leans forward.

"In your world, do families not claim men? We've claimed you and now you're a part of our stable. Of course you'll have favorites, that can't be helped, bu–"

"Wait, so by claiming me, I'm like a part of your... the family stud?"

"At least until you get one of us pregnant." She smirks, then finishes the contents of her glass. "Traditionally, the expecting mother gets first dibs on marriage. How are things done where you're from?"

At that moment, our waitress returns with two glasses of champagne. I drink mine like a shot. I was sent as a means of smoothing relations between our people, but marriage? I know that's how alliances were formed in the dark ages, but... I remember Holmes' instruction: For your own safety, you are not to have intercourse with the natives. I wonder if this was his way of warning me.

Colette's tongue scents the air and her face contorts in a frown.

"Waitress, that's not the wine we ordered."

"No, this is the champagne sent from an admirer at the bar." She points and I turn, my head suddenly swimming like I've had far too many edibles. "Wait, she's gone..." The cyclops' words sound hollow and distant.

It takes my head an hour to turn to Obera, the whole long time it feels as if I'm sinking into the chair. The silly bear is asleep with her eyes open. Someone screams, but it's coming from that far off place on the other side of the Hudson Crevasse.

"Marlon! Obera!"

Letty's voice freaks me out and I try to sit up, but my head is too heavy for my neck.

Glass shatters and a massive hand swats the cute waitress across the room, her body takes a few tables with it. Colette yanks off her blindfold and a beam of green light leaps from her eyes to the pale hand. It turns to stone and crashes to the ground with a thud. Again, I try to sit up, but my body weighs too much.

A man grabs Letty's arm and those scary eye beams petrify him like Medusa in Clash of the Titans.

"Release the Kraken." My words slur like a drunk's, but I aint drink that much.

As if summoned from the depths of a movie, tentacles wrap around her, covering her eyes and pinning her arms to her sides. They snatch her out of the room in one violent motion.

"Hey, br... bring back my friend," I say, finally pushing myself up to a seated position.

A burly dwarf woman steps up beside me and takes a bite of my untouched steak.

"Hey, that's mine, Gimli!"

She punches me in the face and I go night night.