Atlas smiled while looking at Laurel who was enjoying her ice cream. Hindi niya maintindihan na kahit sobrang lamig na nga ng lugar, napili pa rin nito ang ice cream. Halos lahat na yata ng shop na madaanan nila, papasok ito para tingnan kung ano ang best seller at titikman.

Generous naman ang Koreans at natutuwang bigyan si Laurel ng sample spoon. Kapag may nagustuhan, bibili. Sa buong maghapon, halos puro ice cream ang laman ng tiyan nila bago naisipang magpunta naman sa ibang lugar na pagkain ulit.

"Hindi ka pa ba nabubusog?" tanong niya nang iabot ang churro na ipinabili ni Laurel. "Seriously, hindi na ako magugulat kung bigla kang magkaroon ng LBM sa dami ng kinain mo!"

"Don't judge me!" singhal ni Laurel at ngumuso pa nga. "Uuwi na nga tayo sa isang araw, so just let me indulge and enjoy Korea while it lasts. Hindi ko rin alam kung kailan ako makakabalik dito, e, o kung magkakaroon pa ng chance akong bumalik dito."

Naupo si Atlas sa tabi ni Laurel at nagsimulang kumain ng churro. "E 'di balik tayo whenever I'm free, you are free. Tapos sa susunod, isakto naman natin na may snow para magawa mo 'yung sinasabi mo?"

"Yes!" Ngiting-ngiti si Laurel habang nakatingin sa kaniya. "Gagawin ko talaga 'yun! Maghuhubad talaga ako, tapos hihiga ako sa snow. Promise, 'yan!"

"Baliw ka talaga!" Atlas laughed.

Laurel snorted. "Ikaw ang baliw! Ngayon ngang walang snow, hindi ka na komportable, paano pa kaya kapag may snow na? Paano ka?"

"Then I'll hug you more often." Atlas chuckled. "Next time, let's ask Job and Patrick to come with us."

"Hala, gusto ko!" Laurel's face lit up. "Para kung sakali man na may makakita sa ating iba, may excuse tayo."

Sa ilang araw nila sa Korea, wala silang ginawa kung hindi ang mag-tour. Nagsuot pa sila ng hanbok, trip lang nilang dalawa para mas ma-feel ang essence ng Korea. Isa rin sa napansin ni Atlas ang pagkakaroon ng linguistic ability ni Laurel na ang bilis maka-adapt sa language ng Korea.

"Ayaw mong magpa-picture?" tanong ni Atlas habang nakatambay sila sa isang park at nagpapalipas lang ng oras. "Photographer of the day mo ako."

Umiling si Laurel at tumingin sa kaniya. "I am not fond of taking pictures. Malakas naman ang photographic memory ko, I can still picture this moment hanggang sa future. I don't like taking pictures of me, posible kasi na makita 'yun ng ibang tao, I don't like it. Wala rin naman akong social media na paglalagyan ng mga travel photo ko, so I won't."

"Kahit isa lang?"

Sandaling natigilan si Laurel at matagal na nag-isip. "Parang gusto kong bumili ng disposable camera tapos ipapa-print ko na lang. Mas okay sa 'kin 'yun para ako lang ang may copy. Something like that . . . or 'wag na lang. I really hate taking pictures." Ngumiti ito. "Alam mo bang wala akong selfie? I hate looking at myself, naiinis ako sa itsura ko."

Nagulat si Atlas sa sinabi ni Laurel dahil kung siya lang, kung puwede lang na araw-araw niya itong makita, ginawa na niya. Naisip din niya na baka kapag nalaman ni Laurel ang tungkol sa mga picture nito sa phone niya, magalit ito sa kaniya.

"Why?" Atlas asked. He was confused because Laurel was one of the most beautiful people he had ever met.

Kahit paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi, hindi niya babaguhin iyon at hindi siya magsasawa. Laurel's face screamed innocence and purity, but behind those characteristics, she was deadly, and it was actually the opposite.

He knew that.

Laurel was someone who looked so fucking sweet but was seasoned with a lot of hidden spice. Mahirap malaman kung ano ang nasa isip, mahirap kilalanin kapag hindi nakausap, at mahirap mahalin dahil alam kaagad na walang balak sasaluhin.

Atlas loved Laurel's independence and might, but he was in so much trouble because of it. Bigla niyang sinimulang ayawan ang pagiging indestructible ni Laurel dahil apektado na siya.

"I hate how I look." Nakayuko si Laurel at mababa ang boses na nagsasalita. "Mukha akong masyadong mabait kaya ako nate-take advantage ng ibang tao. They would rely so much on my outer look that they don't care about how I think. Palagi nilang iniisip na hindi ko kaya, when I can! Alam ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko and that they don't know me kaya they're quick to judge."

He didn't respond and took a bite of the churro.

Laurel sighed and continued, "All because I have an angelic face, people don't believe me."

"They're missing something. They don't get to meet the strongest woman I know." Atlas smiled. "The deadliest, I must say."

Tumingin sa kaniya si Laurel at naniningkit ang mga matang nakatingin sa kaniya. "Grabe naman sa deadliest, Atlas!"

"Real talk, ma'am." Atlas stood up and stretched. "So, saan mo pa gustong pumunta? Are you still up for more food? Gusto ko lang maglakad-lakad. I like walking just like this na hindi ko nagagawa sa Pilipinas."

"Hindi ka pa ba napapagod sa pag-aartista?" It was a random question from Laurel.

Sandaling natigilan si Atlas sa tanong ni Laurel. Napaisip siya at paulit-ulit lang naman ang sagot. "I love what I do, thing is, napapagod rin kasi ako after all the years of just working. Ni hindi ko na nga alam kung may ibang bagay pa akong kayang gawin aside from acting."

"Oh, we never talked about your college degree. Ano nga ulit course mo?" Laurel asked him.

"I took up Advertising Management," he answered.

Laurel was looking at Atlas. "Kaso after graduation, hindi mo na natuloy? Tapos mas madalas ka na lang sa mga acting workshop?"

Atlas nodded and smiled. They stopped talking about his job. Niyaya na lang niya si Laurel at nag-ikot sa iba pang lugar sa Seoul. Pareho silang hindi mahilig sa traveling, pero pareho silang magkasundo sa pagkain dahil pareho silang adventurous pagdating doon.

"I still can't believe we ate that octopus!" natatawang sabi ni Atlas habang naglalakad sila palabas ng restaurant kung saan sinubukan nilang kumain ng fresh octopus. "I can still feel it inside my mouth! Never again."

Laurel laughed. "I actually liked it! Ang saya lang. Mahilig talaga ako sa mga exotic, e. Kaya 'yung mga nakasama ko dati, ang papangit talaga nila! Though 'yung isang ex ko, which is anak ng vice mayor ng lugar namin n—" She stopped.

Napatitig si Atlas kay Laurel. Her ex was the son of a vice mayor?

"Anyway, it's really to be with someone na sobrang tagal. Ang hirap makisama." Natawa si Laurel. "It's challe—"

"Buti nakatagal ka sa akin nang almost two years?" Atlas immediately cut Laurel off.

Huminga nang napakalalim si Laurel at tumaas ang dalawang balikat nito. "Well, I like that you're respectful. Gusto ko 'yung hindi mo ako pinipilit, you're not kissing me aggressively, and you know your boundaries. I like how you're not bastos. I like that you know how to make me cum before you do and how you play with me. I like it."

Nasa harapan na sila ng bus stop at hinihintay ang susunod na ruta. Hindi nila alam kung saan sila patungo at mas gusto nilang dalawa iyon.

"So, it's just all physical?" Atlas unintentionally asked. A part of him wanted to know, and he also knew that there would be a possibility that Laurel wouldn't answer his question.

"Hindi naman, but we knew the boundaries between us, umpisa pa lang," Laurel said while looking him straight in the eye. "I know where to stand. For sure, Ikaw rin. We're not meant for love; we're just meant for lust. I like having sex with you; I like you as a friend, that's it."

Atlas didn't respond to what Laurel said and looked to his right. "Bus is here."

Sumakay sila sa bus para pumunta sa isa pang destination. Magkalayo sila ng upuan at pumuwesto si Atlas sa likurang bahagi. Tanaw niya si Laurel na tahimik na nakatingin sa bintana.

Atlas looked at Laurel while she silently observed the place and smiled whenever she saw something interested her.

Laurel was right. He knew their setup; he knew that they wouldn't last. She was vocal about what she felt, and he was aware of it. They were not meant to stay, and she would leave him one day.

Sigurado si Atlas na kapag nangyari na iyon, mangangapa siya dahil dalawang taon niya itong kasama. He was not just after the sex. He loved talking to Laurel, so much, hearing her values, her thoughts about life and such, everything about her.

No efforts were given, but Laurel was a natural. Minsan, nararamdaman ni Atlas na confusing na dahil sa totoo lang, hindi na siya sigurado kung ano ba ang pakikitungo nito sa kaniya.

But one thing was for sure: Laurel was honest, and she knew what she wanted.

Pagbaba ng bus, Laurel was smiling at him, and he instantly felt better. Biglang nawala lahat ng negatibong naiisip niya habang nasa loob ng bus. Seeing Laurel smile just lit up the dark instantly and he felt fucked up.

Bigla niyang naalala ang sinabi nito sa kaniya noon. 'Enjoy it while it lasts.'

Noon hindi naiisip iyon ni Atlas ngunit nitong mga nakaraan, he just wanted to let everything flow. He would do things with Laurel dahil nararamdaman niyang lumalayo na ito sa kaniya.

She was still the Laurel he knew, but with the thick wall, he couldn't break.

He wanted to but couldn't.

"So, saan tayo?" Laurel asked. "May gusto ka pa bang puntahan? Ako naman, wala na akong gusto. I just wanna enjoy your freedom kasi pagbalik natin sa Pilipinas, work ka na."

"Ikaw, babalik ka na sa Baguio?"

Laurel nodded.

"Okay." He smiled. "Giniginaw ang kamay ko. Let's find something hot."

Naghanap sila ng café na puwede nilang tambayan. Laurel loved ordering new things kahit na hindi ito sure kung masarap ba. She loved trying different kinds of food even if it was disgusting, and she was appreciative kahit na hindi naman masarap. She would say that it could be improved than saying it didn't taste good.

"Here you go." Ibinaba ni Laurel ang tray ng in-order nito para sa kanila. "Simple coffee for you, a peppermint latte for me, kasi I like it with a kick of mint."

"I know." Atlas sipped some coffee and let the hot coffee warm his shivering hands. "So, anong book ang binabasa mo ngayon?"

Laurel licked the spoon with icing because she was eating a cake and immediately told him about this book. "So, I was reading this new book. 'Yung lalaki, namatayan siya ng asawa. Like he was a boss or something, kaso namatay 'yung asawa niya over a car accident. So, for three years, he was miserable, sobra. Until he met a woman, she was a piano teacher for his nieces, and as per him, she had this great smile that melted his frozen heart. Weird, 'no?"

"What's weird?" Atlas asked and sipped his coffee again. Felt good.

"Na ibang tao ang makapagpapalambot ng puso mo. I find it odd na dapat sarili mo 'yun, pero siguro nga, some people will finally make you love someone," seryosong sabi nito. "I mean, I write romance naman, pero a part of me doesn't even believe in love and relationship. No, more like relationshit."

Atlas frowned. "Nararamdaman ko talaga, may galit ka sa relasyon." He smiled.

"Actually, yes. I don't talk about it much, pero share ko na lang din sa 'yo." Naupo pa ito nang maayos. "I've been with a lot of men before you, ha? And I don't trust them. Papa ko nga, cheater, e. What more with others? Nabuhay ako sa household na punong-puno ng kasinungalingan, puno ng hate, at nakalakihan ko 'yun."

Tahimik si Atlas na nakikinig. It was rare for Laurel to open up, and he would listen.

"Then my boyfriend was this rich guy from school. He was nice at first until we had sex. Okay naman kami, we loved having sex kahit na bata pa kami. But then again, I wasn't enough for him." Laurel sipped her coffee and appreciated how it tasted before continuing. "Alam mo minsan, naiisip ko, was it because of how I look, ganoon na tingin niya sa akin?" she continued. "After him, I fucked every man I wanted, and it was countless. Ni hindi ko na kilala ang iba and I am not proud of it. Imagine men touching you, aggressively fucking you for their own good, and not letting me cum? Ass, 'di ba?"

Hindi na nagugulat si Atlas sa mga sinasabi ni Laurel. He was used to her using those words—no filter at all—and surprisingly, he wasn't even thinking about it. Gusto lang niyang hayaan si Laurel sa pagsasalita, sa pagkukuwento, at nasanay na siyang ganoon ang tabas ng dila nito.

"Noong college, I told you about my ex, who's in PBA na ngayon. We were okay until he found me boring, so he had that queen na nabuntis niya kaagad." Ngumiti si Laurel. "Then he ran back to me, I said no. I am a slut, pero never akong maninira ng relasyon, that's not me. Lumaki na nga ako sa sirang pamilya, papasok pa ako sa commitment na maninira ng iba? No.

"The other guy I was with was very memorable. We're okay naman, kaso he was just too controlling, and he was physically hurting me." Laurel tried to smile, but Atlas saw how her hand slightly shook. "So I broke up with him. Months later, I found myself in Baguio."

Atlas didn't know how to process all the information from Laurel. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip nito at biglang nag-open tungkol sa nakaraan. He knew that it was just the tip of the iceberg, but he didn't care.

"Not all men are like them, Laurel. Napupunta ka lang sa mga mali," he murmured.

"I know." Laurel smiled warmly. "Parang ikaw, I know you're not like them kaya suwerte ang magiging girlfriend at mapapangasawa mo. Ako nga na fuck buddy mo lang, inaalagaan mo, what more kung sila? They will be lucky to have you at iuuntog ko ang ulo nila kapag pinakawalan ka pa nila."

Hindi nagsalita si Atlas. Tumingin lang siya sa labas kung saan maraming dumadaan na sasakyan.

—

WARNING: Slightly Mature Content

Kinagabihan, dumaan ulit sila sa Myeongdong para kumain naman ng dinner. Hindi na rin alam ni Atlas kung saan pa napupunta ang mga kinain nila dahil sa maghapon, they just indulged themselves with food. He enjoyed their trip, he got to know Laurel a bit dahil tahimik pa rin ito at sobrang self-contained pa rin na need to know basis lang ang sinasabi sa kaniya.

He was not pushing it, though. Alam niyang isang araw, pagkakatiwalaan siya ni Laurel.

Paglabas niya ng bathroom, naabutan niya si Laurel na nakatingin sa bintana kung saan kita ang Seoul. He personally chose the place because she loved to stare at nowhere. Kahit na sinasabi nitong mahal at hindi practical, it was okay. He loved seeing the bright lights from her eyes.

Naka-bathrobe lang sila pareho.

Lumapit siya kay Laurel at pumuwesto sa tabi nito. There was a small smile on her lips.

"Thank you for bringing me here," nakangiting sabi ni Laurel nang hindi tumitingin sa kaniya. "Sobrang ganda and I enjoyed it."

Atlas stared at Laurel. The bright lights of Seoul were reflecting in her eyes, and she had no idea how beautiful she was. Laurel would always say things about herself—something harsh.

"Balik tayo next time, kapag free tayong lahat. Isama na natin sina Job and Patrick. I'm loving the freedom here, 'yung hindi ko kailangang mag-alala na may ilang taong lalapit sa akin for picture and that you need to stay away from me dahil sa privacy nating dalawa," aniya. "I love how I can just walk around normally."

Ngumiti si laurel at tumingin sa kaniya. "Basta, palagi mong iisipin na proud ako sa 'yo, that I will be just behind you, cheering."

"I'll hold onto that." Lumapit si Atlas kay Laurel at hinapit ang baywang nito palapit sa kaniya. "Jump, ma'am."

Laurel smiled. Ipinalibot nito ang braso sa leeg niya, binti sa baywang, at hinalikan siya sa labi. He was carrying her and supporting her weight while kissing her torridly while her back was pressed on the wall.

Maingat niyang tinanggal ang pagkakatali ng bathrobe nito at tumambad sa kaniya ang dibdib ni Laurel.

Atlas started kissing Laurel's lips while supporting her weight. Hawak niya ang baywang nito at mahigpit na nakahawak doon habang bumababa ang halik sa leeg papunta sa dibdib nito. He could smell the mint-scented body wash. He was gentle at first, until he started sucking her nipple while playing with it.

Laurel moaned in pleasure.

He never left Laurel's lips while walking toward the bed. He immediately removed their robe and was completely naked with the lights on. They loved having sex with lights wherein they could clearly see each other's faces.

"What's your favorite position?" Atlas asked her in between kisses.

Laurel squinted and gasped when Atlas kissed her neck. "Oh, I like spooning, Ikaw?"

"Missionary, ma'am. I love seeing your face." He smirked.

Laurel was panting while Atlas was on top of her. Ipinalibot niya ang isang braso sa maliit na baywang ni Laurel habang mabagal na gumagalaw sa ibabaw nito. He even buried his face on her neck while thrusting. He let out a silent moan on against her skin.

Ibinalik ni Atlas ang tingin sa mukha ni Laurel. Her mouth was slightly parted, and they were sweating bullets. The heater was a little high, and he couldn't even feel the cold weather of Seoul.

The warmth of Laurel's body against his was enough for him. Their hair started to get wet from the sweat. He was taking his time making sure Laurel would cum. He wanted her to finish first before him.

Atlas was shocked when Laurel lifted herself. Akala niya, aayaw na ito, but no. Laurel encircled her arms around his neck while her body was slightly raised. Sinasalubong nito ang bawat galaw niya, she was licking his lips, she was torridly kissing him, and Laurel really knew how to satisfy him in her ways.

He was close. He hugged Laurel tighter and kissed her lips. He loved kissing her. He loved it whenever they were making out; that was good enough for him.

Bumagsak ang likuran ni Laurel sa kama at nakapikit. Ramdam ni Atlas ang hingal. Bumagsak ang katawan niya sa ibabaw ni Laurel at nakasubsob ang mukha niya sa leeg nito.

Atlas supported his weight using both his hand and stared at Laurel. He kissed the side of her lips and the tip of her nose. Laurel's eyes were closed, and he got the chance to stare longer. He sighed deeply when he felt his heartbeat slow down. He even brushed her hair using his fingertips.

He stayed on top of Laurel until she yawned and breathed hard. She was sleepy and tired, he was sure. Maingat siyang bumangon at inayos ang kumot para balutin ang katawan nito.

Pinatay niya ang ilaw bago tumabi kay Laurel at habang nakahiga, nakatitig sa kawalan. Dumako rin ang tingin niya kay Laurel na nakatigilid na natutulog. Nahihirapan na siya sa sitwasyon nila, he was already slipping, pero paulit-ulit na tumatakbo sa isip niyang hindi sila puwede. He was not even sure if what he felt for her was true, it was just lust. He was not sure.

Nang maramdaman niyang malalim na ang tulog ni Laurel, katulad ng dati, nahiga siya at pumuwesto sa likuran nito.

Laurel was okay with cuddling, but with limits, kaya naman may mga bagay na nagagawa lang niya kapag tulog na ito, katulad ng pagsaklupin ang kamay nilang dalawa na hindi niya nagagawa kapag gising ito. He could only hug her without her thinking it was sexual and that he only wanted to bang whenever she was sleeping.

Patalikod niyang niyakap si Laurel at hinawakan ang kamay, katulad ng madalas niyang gawin kapag tulog na. He intertwined their hands together and kissed the back of her head.

"One day when the sky is falling, I'll be standing right next to you," he whispered. It was a song by Chris Brown and Justin Bieber. Next to You. And it was one of his songs for her that she was not aware of.

Hinigpitan niya ang yakap kay Laurel. Mahigpit na mahigpit at ipinagpapasalamat niyang natutulog ito.

"Nothing will ever come between us, 'cause I'll be standing right next to you."

Atlas sighed and closed his eyes.

"Good night, Laurel."

T H E X W H Y S