24: Guilt is a Weapon
Every single day, Folakemi never ceased to think of her son. It had been years since she'd set her eyes on him. And she'd let it remain that way. If she really wanted to know where he was, she would have done all she could to find him.
But on the day she learned that David ran away from the hostel and she'd combed a few streets in futility, she realized that perhaps, staying away from her son would be the best thing to do. When this dawned on her, it hurt her greatly. Still, it was a palpable truth. That hadn't been the first time, he'd ran away neither was it her first time of trying to find him and pull him closer.
But each time she tried to draw him closer and show him love, he only went farther away. Amid all the things that her son was running away from, Folakemi realized she was one of those things. David did loathe himself for not obeying her instruction on that tragic day and despite how Folakemi had tried to show him that she genuinely did not despise him for his act, David just wouldn't believe her.
That afternoon, she decided to stop trying to show him anything – at least not directly. If she continued to chase him, he might end up hating her and may never want to see her again.
She might never see her son again if she kept striving to draw him close in the most obvious ways. The reason was because David would continue to think that she was lying and the guilt would consume him the more.
But what if he feels more guilt when he realizes that his mother has stopped chasing him? What if that affirms the vile sentiments he's been feeling?
Folakemi couldn't bear to imagine it. She would rather act than do nothing at all. But she was going to have to do it subtly now. She had to look for ways to actively reach out to her son. Folakemi wanted David to know that Kelvin had forgiven him. She wanted him to know that the people at the neighborhood had eventually found out about the story of Sindara's demise and had surprisingly understood David's intentions in contrast to how she'd thought they were going to react.
She wanted to inform him that Mrs. Shemai'ah, the evil witch who'd served the poisoned food had served some tormenting years in jail before dying. She wanted him to learn of these good news with hopes that it'll make David realize that genuinely, it wasn't his fault that Sindara had died.
For a while, she didn't know which indirect means through which she could reach out to David until one day, she remembered the pure water factory where David had temporarily worked as a teenager. She thought that perhaps, he must have made a friend there.
Previously, she'd visited his former schools – both Togedejoye and The Elixir College. Maybe she'd get the contact of a close friend of his. But her efforts yielded no results. Going to The Elixir College in particular was a complete waste of time because no one liked David. He had the reputation of being a creep thanks to the news of him stalking and harassing a young girl spreading like wildfire.
When she visited the water factory however, the owner, a chubby man with ghoulish tribal marks on his face, had told her that while David worked there, he did have a female friend that was a few years older than him. Her name was Celine.
"That your son. I no even understand his relationship with Celine," the man remarked. He was about to go further and talk about the day he'd wanted to hit him and then Celine chose to suffer in his stead. Then he remembered that he was talking to the mother of the boy. And it definitely wouldn't be funny to her if she learned that he'd tried to inflict pain on her son.
So he said something else instead. Something stupid. "It's like he will like having sugar mommies because the girl senior am."
"Do you by chance have the phone number of this woman named Celine?" Folakemi asked, completely ignoring his remark.
"Yes, but she no too dey pick call sha. Na waste of time to call her."
"Still give me her number," Folakemi insisted.
This was one remark that Folakemi regretted ignoring because true to Mr. Akinwale's words, Celine didn't for once respond to her calls. It was hard to reach her on the phone. So Folakemi went back to the factory to ask the boss a question she realized she should have asked the first time she spoke to him.
"When was the last time you saw Celine? Has she ever stopped by to say hello since she stopped working for you?"
"Yes ooo. She always comes around that December time to greet me and thank me for accommodating her and she always comes with gifts of course. But when she leaves like this, I don't even bother to call her to thank her for coming because I know she will never pick my call. Celine talks on the phone when she decides to and that's if she calls you not the other way round."
"Can you call me when next she comes around?"
"No wahala madam. I go halla you."
The 'when next' was precisely a year later. The wait was agonizing. At a point, Folakemi began to think that Celine had stopped by the factory so many times but the owner had refused to inform her as promised. Or maybe he'd forgotten the agreement since a significant amount of time had passed by.
Folake's patience wore out completely and so she began to visit Obalende Avenue everyday and parked her car in a discreet corner to watch every single person who walked into the building every day. She was on the lookout for women in particular and she kept an eye on what they held in their hands. If the bag was too big, she suspected that there were gifts stored in it.
It was already the tenth day in December so Celine would stop by at any time. But after watching for two weeks, Folake gave up, knowing that her spying may not be of any use. She rarely saw a woman walk into the water factory talk more of a woman with a big bag in hand.
Then on the twenty-eighth day of the month, Mr. Akin called to inform her of Celine's presence. Without even pausing to take a look at her outfit to be sure that she looked presentable, she grabbed her car keys and rushed down to Obalende Avenue. When she got to Mr. Akin's office, she realized that Celine had been preparing to leave but was still staying back because Mr. Akin had told her to wait for someone.
"Ah!" Mr. Akin breathed out in relief when he saw Folake step into his office. "That's the person I want you to meet. She's been looking for you," he pointed a finger at Folake. Celine looked in the direction of Mr. Akin's hand.
When her eyes landed on Folake who was standing by the door with a gloomy look on her face, her eyes widened and the lines on her forehead rose in deep surprise.
"Good afternoon, ma'am. Aren't you... David's mother? I've seen you before ma'am."
"Yes, I am. This is my first time of seeing you though. I've tried so hard to reach you but it was difficult to do so. I'm so relieved that I finally get to see you."
"How may I be of help to you, ma'am?"
***
"What did you want to see me for ma'am?" Celine asked Folake once they got to a secluded area. They were both seated in Folake's car.
"It's...It's about my son, David. I've not seen him in years. He ran away from school years ago and I never saw him again after that occurrence. But I chose not to chase him because I figured he was running away from me. So, first off, I wanted to ask if you've been in close contact with him lately."
"No I haven't. But I heard he's a wealthy guy now."
"I know that too and that makes me happy. But he might still be unhappy. I want to be sure that he's doing okay. But I can't do that directly because I feel like he doesn't want anything to do with me."
"Oh...so...ma'am... You want me to do that for you?" Celine blinked, puzzled.
"Yes please," Folake joined her hands together in a pleading sign. "I heard you guys were friends at the water factory. I'm sure he'll prefer to have you around."
"Of course, he'll prefer to have me around..." Celine stopped her sentence and gazed out to the window, smiling sardonically. Then she turned to face Folake. Her eyes were now glossy with moisture and they burned with fierce, fiery rage. "So he can use me!"
"U-use you?" Folake flinched at Celine's sudden fury and unexpected response. When she collected herself together, the weight of Celine's words became real to her and she became frightened by the possibility of the fact that her son had become an abusive monster that she herself may not be able to tame.
With a shaky tone, she proceeded to ask Celine a question that she hoped deep down in her heart would get a negative response. "Did he by chance abuse you? Or something like that?"
"Oh. No ma'am. Not that. What I meant was emotional blackmail. David and I have similar stories. That's why you'd notice that I didn't bother to ask you why he's running away from you. I know he feels awful for not obeying your instruction to avoid the woman who lives in the blue bungalow.
I lost my little sister when I was much younger and it was due to my carelessness. My parents had left for work and they left her in my care. My best friend came over. I left her in my friend's care while I went upstairs to do other things. My sister tumbled down the stairs and died in my absence. When we learned of each other's stories, we took comfort in each other and consoled each other.
Genuinely, I wanted to help David out even though I was still hurting. But I didn't know he had other intentions. What he wanted was to pull me down with him so I could always feel as pathetic as he felt. He'd always hurt himself with dangerous objects. He'd tear the skin of his hand with a sharp razor and he'd enjoy watching me worry frantically for him. He loved it when I cried on his behalf. He relished my panicking for his sake. When I realized what he was trying to do, I had already found myself deep in the abyss of self torture and guilt.
That was when I realized that guilt is a weapon and it was something that David knew how to use. Many times when I cried for David, pitied him and worried on his behalf, I found myself reliving the memories of the day I lost my little sister and the anguish I felt from it made me imagine how David always felt whenever he harmed himself.
This chain of thoughts always deepened my sorrows. It was very draining for me. Now that I've managed to heal though, I don't think I want to be around someone that wants to pull me down. If he doesn't want to heal, there's nothing I can do to help him."
"I'm so sorry he did that to you," Folake closed her eyes in shame. "I understand why you don't want to be around him. But, I'm sure that later on, he felt sorry for what he did to you. He probably might not have apologized to you and I might be partly responsible for that because in the process of chasing him, I found him at the water factory and convinced him to go back to school. Still, for some unknown reason, I'm just certain that David must have felt really bad for treating you so poorly."
Celine's lips quivered. She gazed out the window again. David's mom was right. She remembered the morning that David woke her up to inform her that he was leaving the factory for good. He'd apologized to her. When Folake studied Celine's silence for a while and realized that her thesis was correct, she continued in her persuasion.
"Look, my dear, I'm not even saying you should help him feel okay if you find out that he's not. I just want you to visit him, try to find out what he's been up to over the years and know if he has healed. Then I want you to report your findings to me and that will be all. Please," Folake pressed, squeezing Celine's shoulder in a gentle manner but the desperation behind that gesture was in no way gentle.
"Then what about you ma'am? If I visit him and find out that he's not okay and I report to you what are you going to do next? It's not like you can go ahead and meet him directly. He doesn't want to see you."
"I just want to take it one step at a time. Knowing his current state is the most important thing to me right now."
"And what if you need my help in your next step? What's going to happen then? I know how these things go ma'am. One thing really leads to another. I can't lose myself in the process of trying to save someone else. I have a life of my own. A very busy one."
Indeed, Celine did have a hectic life of her own. Being a new single mother of a four-year-old girl after managing to get out of an abusive relationship that lasted for five years was no child's play.
Granted, nursing your child alone with no father figure to support and help with the process was a tough one but Celine was thankful that she got the chance to be alone and far, far away from physically and emotionally abusive men. She couldn't burst that bubble by getting involved with David.
Folakemi's eyes moistened with a river of tears, ready to pour out. She was so heartbroken by the discovery of the fact that her son was this broken. No one wanted to save him because they felt he'd turn into an abominable demon – one that they were better off avoiding if they themselves wanted to stay sane. Folake hated the fact that she had to do this for her son's sake. She didn't like the fact that she had to go through indirect means. Nevertheless, she still loved David and hadn't given up on him yet.
"Please could you just help me check on him first? Please. It's extremely important to me. I want to save my son. If at any point you are inconvenienced even in the slightest way, I won't involve you any further. I'll look for another way."
Celine didn't say anything for a while. Instead, she closed her eyes and ruminated deeply. This meant so much to David's mom. For old times' sake, she should be able to do this for her old friend's mother, right?
Yes, she should.
"Okay ma'am. I'll check on him and report to you," she finally concurred, feeling pity for David's mother.
Initially she'd thought of signing an agreement with her to ensure that once she'd reported her findings, Folake wouldn't contact her for further assistance but Celine dismissed the idea. That would be going overboard and it would make Folake feel even worse and might make her feel as though her son's situation could never be redeemed.
"Thank you so much, Celine. I really appreciate you. In fact, if you need cash for this assignment at any point, do let me know."
'That won't be necessary, ma'am," Celine said with a warm smile.
***
A few weeks later
When David got to his office on the day Mr. Brown had summoned him to rush over due to urgent matters, David was so thankful that Mr. Brown hadn't divulged anything incriminating over the phone because that would have been the end game for David. When he got to the reception that day, he met Gertrude's parents sitting on the couch, waiting for him. But on that day, they'd simply come to make innocent enquiries; to ask if he knew of their daughter's whereabouts.
Of course, David, with a concerned expression, told them that he had no idea. He'd even promised to help them find her.
Now, though as he stepped back into his office after using the bathroom, the last set of people he'd expected to meet in his office on a dull Monday morning was Gertrude's parents who were yet again, sitting on the sofa.
The only difference this time was that right now, there was no sign of politeness or 'innocent enquiry' in their aura. The look in their eyes, the manner of their posture and heck! Even their slow, leveled breathing burned ferociously with a destructive kind of flame. They were here for the second time and it was because they'd discovered something about their daughter's abduction. Something that had a whole, grave lot to do with David!
David, of course, had to be the best version of his natural self. He could not afford to lose guard of his innocent composure. It was a non-negotiable. Somewhere at the back of his mind though, he reminded himself to never again abduct a pseudo-Sindara who had parents that cared about her.
"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. ...?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Okafor!" Gertrude's father, a gangly, middle-aged man spat bitterly. "Don't pretend as though you don't remember us!"
"Oh. I apologize for my short term memory. Please, how may I be of help to you two this morning?" David didn't let the smile on his face wear off which was quite the task.
"You can help us by returning our daughter to us! How could you snatch her from us on the happiest day of her life? You didn't even give us the chance to celebrate her success with her. We didn't get to congratulate her. You just took her away from us. Just like that! Is that how you are, mister? Why are you so wicked?!" Gertrude's mother wailed. Her voice rose in higher agonizing pitches as she voiced out the questions in her heart. More tears poured down her eyes.
David scoffed in mock incredulity.
"First off, Mr. and Mrs. Okafor, I am very sorry that your daughter has been missing for weeks now. I believe I already shared my condolences the last time you two visited this company. But I understand why your sentiments are still so raw which is why I don't mind sympathizing with you again.
Second, it makes no sense that this company will give an opportunity to kids with a promising future like Gertrude and then deprive her of the chance to enjoy her success once the opportunity works in her favor. It's simply asinine and beyond comprehension and that leads me to say that the grounds upon which you're accusing me of these things are quite baseless. What will I gain from kidnapping your daughter?
Okay, let's assume there are psychopaths that exist and actually do such things. But tell me, what evidence do you have to prove that I'm actually your daughter's abductor? Can you even properly establish that I was present on the day of the competition?"
"N-no," Mr. Okafor admitted, stammering. Still, he couldn't let the battle end with him being defeated. He still had more accusatory words to hurl at this strange man because he was left with no choice but to suspect him. "But we already questioned every other person we could think of. We asked the teachers and the classmates who accompanied Gertrude to the venue of the competition. They have no idea on her whereabouts. They are even as confused and devastated as we are. We asked the organizers of the event – the decorators, the event planners. They genuinely seemed to have no idea either.
The only thing they told us was that the emcee of the event was the last person they'd seen Gertrude with before she went missing. And ever since, we've not been able to find the emcee to question him on our daughter's whereabouts. Isn't that just so fishy? It also solves the puzzle before us. You were the one who ordered him to kidnap our daughter!"
"He's an emcee for crying out loud!" David did his best to sound as offended as possible. "The nature of his job already explains why he's unreachable. He's an emcee who hosts events in several countries across the world."
"So that's why you deemed someone like him as the perfect person for the job right?" Mrs. Okafor yelled. Her eyes had turned into a bloody shade of red due to excessive weeping.
"No! I didn't kidnap your daughter ma'am. Have you two even considered that it could be someone who has been very envious of your daughter for her intellect and brilliance that is responsible for being missing?"
"That's not possible. Gertrude isn't even a popular person at school and so not many people are aware of her brilliance. Also, my precious girl tells me everything. If there was someone who didn't like her at school, she would have told me about it. I'm very sure of that," Gertrude's mom argued.
"Not everyone makes their hatred for their enemies an obvious thing. The culprit could have been planning it from the shadows and then found the right time to attack, which unfortunately happened to be the day of the competition."
"That makes no sense. These are children we are talking about for God's sake! Do they even have houses of their own where they can keep our daughter if they choose to abduct her? Their parents will never even be in support of such an abominable thing in the first place. Stop insinuating false things!"
"Stop accusing me of being the culprit either!" David yelled.
"You have to prove to us that you are not her abductor," Mr. Okafor insisted.
"Alright, fine! If that's what you want. I'll contact the emcee and make sure he comes by my office next week. I'll book an appointment with him on his free date. I'll inform you of the day so you can come by and hear it for yourselves."
"No. That's nonsense. Biko, Maduka, don't listen to him," Mrs. Okafor turned to her husband and pleaded with him. 'He'll pay the emcee to tell lies. I swear, this bastard is the one who took our daughter. Maybe he's looking for a little girl to adopt because he can't have children of his own. Perhaps he also has preferences and Gertrude matches his taste. I know men in my village that do things like that. Honey, please listen to what I'm saying. Don't believe a word that this man says."
"Seriously, I have nothing to gain from kidnapping your daughter. How did you guys even get into my office? It's time to get the hell out of here, please. I can't take this humiliation anymore."
"Hello? What's going on here? Why are you yelling at my husband and accusing him of such a terrible thing?" a strange, unfamiliar voice came from behind.
David was shocked but when he looked in the direction of who'd just spoken, to say he was petrified was a gross understatement. Behold, was Celine looking the complete opposite of how he'd remembered her to look several years ago.
She was now so beautiful, round and feminine as ever. Those angular cheekbones and sharp jaw line were all gone. And was that dark little girl beside her, her daughter? Before David could even blink, or try to gather himself together, Celine was already standing next to him with the little girl hoisted in her arms. She wrapped her second hand around David's waist.
"My husband is very capable of producing children and this baby girl here is solid proof. Please, stop blaming him for the absence of your daughter. We are sorry she's missing but please, we won't let you lie against us. Please, leave respectfully because I already called the security officers and they will be here very soon." Celine said with an astonishing air of authority.
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