This summer I turned 13.

I was expecting something momentous to happen.

When I woke up that morning,

I would be a teenager. Something

Would be different.

It wasn't.

I had my bat mitzvah.

When I was standing up there, I felt so proud.

Like maybe I could be confident and strong.

That day was perfect.

Why can't every day be that way?

Every summer I think "This is the year

I'm going to come back different.

I won't be the shy girl anymore.

I'll show my true self."

Every summer I get taller. I think

"I'm going to come back

And I won't be short anymore.

I'll look people in the eye

And they won't be able to look down on me."

Now the school year's started again.

Everyone else grew over the summer too.

Everyone else still thinks of me as the shy girl.

I still think of myself as the shy girl.

So much for all that happened this summer.

So much for that perfect day.

But maybe inside

I still have a little bit

Of that confidence that illuminated me.

Maybe inside

I can still be the girl

That I was

This summer.