September 1981

Hannah and I promised each other that for this tour. The Dangerous Woman Tour. We would do dangerous things.

We were gonna bungee jump, ski, skydive, eat dinner with our families with the TV off. Just go wild. My mom said she would give me $100 for every thing that I did. But she wouldn't give me the money until after I did it because she wanted to make sure I actually did it.

I was cool with that as long as she did it with me. My mom is such a paradox, she likes rollercoasters but not planes. She says she's not scared of heights but she'll refuse to get on a plane. She knows that's the only way she can travel with me. Trying to get my momma on a plane is like fighting a bull. You'll get it eventually, but they'll put up a hell of a fight.

Anyways i'm currently in Chattanooga, Tennessee for a show, and I suggested to everyone that we go whitewater rafting. It's gonna be me, my mom, my best friend Hannah, and my bodyguard Victor. Victor offered to record everything. He said for us not to act, all of us be ourselves.

Before you can go white water rafting you have to drive a car to this bus and the bus will take you to the river. Thank to the lovely Hannah Lux Davis, we were late getting to the bus. She wanted to finish doing her makeup, why she was wearing makeup while we were about to get soaked I will never know. Her excuse was that it's "water proof".

We get on the bus and we notice that all the seats are taken except the ones in the back. Now we are the only black people in Chattanooga right now. I have been here for two days so far and I have yet to come across one melanated individual.

"Damn y'all still racist. Y'all got the black folks sittin' in the back like it's 1952." I snickered. "Come on now it's 1981"

Victor laughed with me, he was the only one that laughed with me. When we got to the back my mom grabbed my arm and pulled me in.

"We're in Klan land ok. Keep the jokes to yourself."

"But mama-"

"Jasmyn." she warned me, through gritted teeth.

I snapped my head forward. "Yes ma'am."

Out of nowhere the bus driver got up and pointed to us.

"You guys in the back, don't try to jump out that back window. It's park rangers out there and they will fire."

I knitted my brows and looked around. "Uh.." I raised my hand. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

My mom grabbed my hand and pulled it down, shushing me.

"No where the hell did that come from? Do say that to everybody or just the black passangers?"

Hannah slapped me on my thigh and shushed me again. "Girl if you don't stop bitchin' before you get us strung up in this sundown town."

"Alright whatever I ain't gon' say nothin' else." I sat back and crossed my arms with a huff.

My mom pulled my head to her chest, playing with my stray curls. "Calm down sista' soilder."

"Malcolm X would be ashamed of all y'all."

She snickered. "I'm still livin'." I gasped at her, she knew he was my hero. Bitch.

After what felt like the most uncomfortable bus ride I have ever had in all 16 years of my life, we finally got off the bus. They told us our instructor, our was named Lance we met him the day we signed up, would be waiting on us we would just have to find them. So we were looking around trying to find our person.

I finally caught a glimpse of his arm. "There he is!" I beckoned my group to follow me.

"Hi!" I yelled, waving to him. Lance was really hot, that's one reason I was so excited to do this. I stopped in my tracks when I notice that his left arm was in a cast and it was held up with a cast.

I furrowed my brows, focusing on his arm. He said something but I didn't catch it.

"Miss?"

I shook my head trying bring my mind back into focus. "I'm sorry what did you say?"

"I said are you ready to get in the water with me?" He smiled. He had a nice smile, along with a nice body besides his arm.

"I'm probably not gon' go if you gon' keep that arm." I pointed to his cast.

"No don't worry this happened doing somethin' else. You'll be fine." he placed his free hand on my shoulder trying to assure me.

"Alright let me talk to my family real quick just to see if their ready." He nodded and I walked back over to where they were.

"You ready little one." Victor pointed the camera at me. I gave a shy wave and turned to Hannah and my momma.

"Hey look y'all before we do this I just wanna tell y'all......Fuck this i'm not gon' do it."

"What?" my mom snapped. "Jasmyn I did NOT come out here for nothing."

"Momma that man has a cast on." I told her, pointing behind me. "Who he gon' save? Not me. Not I. Not Jasmyn."

Hannah slapped me in the back. "Jasmyn stop bein' a punk and come on."

"Alright then I ain't gon' say shit else I hope we die together."

She gave me a smug smile and crossed her arms. Sometimes she pissed me off. Love her to death though.

A bell rung and they called us all to meet in the pier. This old white lady appeared to brief us on what we should know when we were in the water. This woman was not having it today. She had absolutely no patience.

"Alright i'm only gonna say it once. Today..your not the only group. TODAY you will be white water rafting."

"No shit." I mumbled to Hannah. She snickered and the lady cut her eyes at me. We put our hands up in surrender then she turned back to the group.

"First of all if you fall out people don't stand up. I repeat, don't stand up. Because your face will get something we call a 'Face Flood' you'll die." I gasped, and started looking around to see other people's reactions. No one even budged.

"Your feet can get caught underwater with rocks on top of it. Your face goes forward, water goes over your head. Your dead, we've had it happen."

Oh. My. God.

"Alright also..Listen...LISTEN!!.." she snapped her fingers at a group of frat boys.

"You must be apart of your own rescue, meaning you must help us help you. Alright? If you don't wanna help us help you, you can help yourself we've been paid."

Damn.

"Last thing you all have a life line. Life line looks like this." She held up some long plastic tube. It like an oversized dildo to me. "The life line is seven feet long. If you fall out the raft we can throw it to you. If your at 8 feet I suggest you get to seven. That's the only way that we can get you back in. Um...with that being said. Have a good time and enjoy yourselves."

I turned around and I saw everyone hooking on their life jackets and putting on their helmets.

"Hey y'all I just wanna let y'all know before we do...Fuck this forreal this time I'm not gon' do it."

"What!!" my mom shrieked.

"Yeah I'm serious I'm not bullshittin'."

"Why not??" Hannah jumped in.

"She over here talkin' 'bout if I'm at 8 feet, I better get to seven. No no no that bitch better get to 8."

Victor placed his hand on my shoulder. "Jasmyn you'll be fine."

I started to tear up. "All my life they been tellin' me I can't reach it because i'm too small. Now you tellin' me you can't reach me. I paid for this."

"Girl if you don't come on and get your stuff together. We made a promise."

"Alright fine! But Hannah you sittin' up front with me since you so damn tough."

Now me and Hannah are up from my mom is right behind me and Victor is behind Hannah. Lance is in the back center of all of us.

White water rafting is very dangerous. The water is going 40-50 miles an hour. Your like a pinball in a pinball machine, every time you hit a rock you bounce off. It's not gentle either.

So we're in the water and we're not doing bad we're doing good. We're doing pretty damn good. It's fun. Scary but fun. I'm a little mad about box braids right now but I'll deal with it later. At least Gigi will.

We hit and rock and bounce off. I turned around I don't see Hannah no more. She's my closest friend, so now I'm scared.

"Oh shit! Where's Hannah?" I looked around frantically. I looked over the raft on her side and I saw her there. I placed my hand on my chest and sighed in relief. Her foot was caught in the clamp on the side of the raft and we were dragging her.

When Hannah get's really scared she stops blinking, I'm guessing she was scared because she wasn't blinking.

"Pull me up Jasmyn!! Pull me up." I couldn't pull her up because I was laughing so hard that I caught a cramp.

I shot my hand to my side trying to ease the pain. "I can't girl I got a cramp."

"Pull me up!!" she reached her hand out to me.

"I'm serious this shit hurts like hell." I sputtered out, wincing with every chuckle. "Blink. Blink so I can top laughing."

Finally he blinks and I pulled myself together enough to pull her back in the raft.

"That's it I'm done take me back. I'm not doin' this shit no more."

"What you mean you not doin' this no more you made me do it. We gon' finish. Stop bein' a punk Hannah."

"Jasmyn I'm serious."

We start arguing back and forth not long after Lance yells over us.

"Y'all betta focus because Hell Hole is coming up."

Hell Hole is a waterfall. A long ass steep ass waterfall. Lance was telling us about it when we met him. He told us the only way to get out of Hell Hole was to ride the wave. If you don't ride the wave, you get stuck in the middle, water fills your raft. They end of having to come chopper you out.

"You know Jasmyn you could fit on top of this raft like a little hood ornament."

I rolled my eyes "Oh kiss my ass."

"I'm serious focus ladies."

So we snapped into serous mode. We end going down Hell Hole and Lance yells at us to paddle as fast as we could.

We all start paddling as hard as we could. It did not look like we were gonna make it outside of Hell Hole so we all locked eyes with each other and jumped off the raft.

I saved myself. I didn't give a fuck about nobody. My momma. Nobody. I got to a rock and climbed on top of it to catch my breath. I looked around to find everyone else and I caught a glimpse of my mom doing some weird kind of doggie paddle, trying to get to me.

But wen I saw her didn't want her to see me see her because then she would want me to get back in the water and go get her.

I wasn't about to do it.

So I turned around to face the other way and acted like I never saw her.

"Jasmyn!!!" I heard her scream behind me. "Help!!"

I bite my lip trying not to laugh. "Where are you?? Where you at?? You gotta be apart of your own rescue mama!!"

"I gave birth to you!!"

I put my hand over my mouth to catch my giggles. "But you gotta help me help you!!"

"Fuck you Jasmyn!!"

"I love you mommy!!"

So I pulled my feet up to my chest and I turned back around when my mom finally go on top of the rock.

"Hey mommy!! Look who made herself a swimmer."

She grimaced at me, not having it with me.

"Up top gimme some." I held my hand up for a high five. She looked at me hand, then back to me, the back out to the river.

"Buck up champ." I tapper her shoulder with my fist.

So we watch as Victor makes it to the rock, and Lance he's like a marine, he's got his paddle in his mouth. His cast out the water. swimming with one hand and he makes to the rock. I did a mental body count of all of us one crucial person, besides my mother was missing. Hannah.

"Ok!" I clapped, looking around at everyone. "Where Hannah? Lance where my friend at?"

"Don't worry she's underwater she'll
pop up."

My eyes widened. "Wait wh- what you mean? Fuck you mean by pop up? She gon' pop up dead?"

"Well if she is we can bring her back."

"Wait wha- What'chu mean bring her back? No! We have to go get her." I looked around and as if on que, Hannah pops up.

She's so afraid she had he paddle clenched to her chest and her head looking straight ahead, her entire body is stiff.

"Hannah!" I called out. "Turn on ya' stomach and swim to the rock."

I know she hears me because she's blinking. So I know she's not out of it. But she's blinking a whole lot and I hope it's not morse code because I don't know morse code.

"Turn on your stomach and get to the rock!!" I yelled at her again. This bitch keeps floating past the rock. I'm looking at her and she's looking at me, blinking like hell.

I threw my hands up. "What are you doin'?"

She kept waving her paddle in their air. I'm guessing she wanted one of us to grab her paddle and pull her up.

I'm not tall enough to grab her paddle. I'm not even about to attempt to grab her paddle so I can fall and end up in the same predicament as she is.

My mom tapped my shoulder. "Throw her the life line."

"Well what if we need it. Let her deal with this situation."

We watched her float all the way to the middle of the river. She kept waving her paddle back and forth and yelling at families to pull her in. We are the only black family here. Civil Rights movement wasn't too long ago. Some people here look like they were around when it happen and were to happy about the new found change.

This white guy is swimming toward her and it looks like he's about to help her but all he does is slap her paddled out the way and push past her. I gasped, pissed off.

Hannah taps this man on his shoulder and as soon as he turns around she sends the meanest right hook into his jaw. She jumps on his back and the fight tussling in the water. All while we root her on.

Certainly a memorable day.