I glanced up at the side of his face as he was attempting to stir the cookie dough, which I told him specifically to fold.

"You're fucking up the batter Michael." I snickered, reaching over him and picking up the notecard he brought over. It had Mama Jackson's handwriting on it. Her signature recipe.

He giggled "Well maybe if you helped instead of eating everything, we wouldn't have this problem"

"Well who else is gonna clean up the mess you're making."

"I don't know how you'd see it, since your face has been in the chocolate chip bag since we opened it."

I stuck my tounge out at him.

"I saw that"

"I sAw tHaT" I rolled my eyes at him. "Baby"

He sighed. "You're a child."

"of God."

"He don't like you"

I gasped, my mouth gaped. I hopped off the counter about to storm off before he grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me in close, locking his arms around me.

"Let go of me asshole." I tried to wriggle out of his grip, desperately failing at not laughing.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding. God loves you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he repeated over and over again, laughing hard as hell the entire time.

As skinny as Michael is, he's strong as hell and after I realized I was making no progress. I stopped struggling and went dead weight in his arms.

"Are you calm?" he asked as if I was a toddler.

I nodded my head.

"Good." He let go.

"Cock punch" I swung my fist back and made a run for it.

"Jasmyn that fucking hurt." I heard a thud, followed by groans of agony and took off for the livingroom.

On my way up the stairs, I stopped and glanced down at Nefertiti, I could feel her feline judgement cascading over me. "What are you looking at?"

She just kept licking herself.

"What? I didn't even hit him that hard"

She glared at me before stretching.

"What are yo-" I gasped watching her tail saschay up the stairs past me. "Nef!....Nef! " I called after her but she turned the corner. "Atleast i'm not scared of fucking cucumbe-" I shrieked feeling myself being pulled down to the floor. I quickly spun around and began to crawl away but Michael grabbed my foot and yanked me towards him. I groaned trying to maintain my grip on the bottom of the stair case rail so that I could pull myself away. But I refused to let go.

"Get off of me!" I screamed through my laughter, struggling to get my ankle out his grip.

He yanked me towards him as hard as he could causing me to lose my grip. Before I knew it, he flipped me on my back with a leg on either side of his waist. So many flashbacks were coming back at once as he pint my arms over my head with one hand and grabbed my face with the other.

"You haven't changed." He smiled, trying to catch his breathe. "Why do you play so rough?"

"It weeds out the weak." I come from a family of boys, fighting is customary. "I see you finally learned to keep up."

"I'm growing up." he giggles, pinching my face until my lips pursed.

I rolled my eyes as he squished my face to his amusement.

"My name is Jasmyn and I like to hit people bigger than me because I have little people complex." he cooed in a baby voice.

"I can't believe the world thinks your innocent and sweet." I giggled, trying to wriggle my face out of his grasp but before I could do so his lips were pressed against mine. A bolt of electricity coursed through my veins as his tongue began to slide into my mouth. I tried to fight back because to be honest I was extremely shocked but eventually I stopped and responded to the kiss.

He pulled back and looked at me. I didn't know what to say, what was even happening. We were really doing this again and from the look on his face we both knew it wasn't going to end well. But we ended up right back at it, nibbling and sucking on each others lips as a wave of nostalgia set in the atmosphere.

All those late nights just sitting up watching old films, dancing to music around the house, skinny dipping in the pool. I ended up smiling in our kisses, and I felt him do the same.

But deep down inside, I felt a pang of guilt...

I pulled back, he kissed starting to wander to my neck. "We should finish the cookies."

He paused. "Right." He planted a final kiss on my neck before, pulling the both of us up off the floor.

I ended up leaving the cooking to him, which he was perfectly fine with it was typical of me, and eating icecream on the couch.

Self-loathing...

Which I shouldn't be, I have some big plans for next year. A world tour, a new album, a clothing line, a fragrance deal and much more. I'm currently planning a duet with George Michael. Yes, the George Michael of Wham with his fine self. We recorded a demo and everything sounds great but in all honesty the song would be so much better without me on it. I might just give him the song and charge it to the game. I wrote it but I just prefer his voice singing it. Prince does that sometimes.

I huffed, jamming my spoon into the ice cream tub as far as I could. "I hate myself."

Truth be told. I meant it too. I actually hated myself. I constantly immerse myself in men who consistently hurt me. I work myself like a Hebrew slave and completely disregard my mental and physical stability. My only so called friends ( who are also employees) are barely around anymore, judge all my life decisions and barely check up on me.

I rolled my eyes at my other self, who are you kidding you're just a bitch dangerously emotional bitch, and drowning your sorrows in ice cream seemed like the decently cliche thing to do. I savored the vanilla concoction, and tried and escape the randomness that was my thoughts. My eyes drifted toward the piano, which was straight ahead. All the memories of me and Prince sitting there together. I smiled at the thought of him trying to jam while I sat next to him and pulled on his underarm hair for the fuck of it (he liked to walk around without a shirt on, so technically he put it on himself) and he would wince and tell me to stop until finally he tackled me to the ground, tickling the fuck out of me.

_________________

February 1987.... 11:30 pm

I groaned. "Prince that's not fair. I don't know what you're thinking how come only I have to guess the numbers? You always cheat when we play sex games, you just wanna see me naked."

"Look at me mama. Is this the face of someone who would do that?" he said giving me a puppy dog look.

"Uh yes ...the fuck?" I scrunched my face up at him.

"True." he shrugged before switching on that mischevious smile of his. "Now lets get started, I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 5."

"2."

It won't take to me too many wrong answers for me to be naked. I was only in a t-shirt and panties.

He stared into my soul as he toed off his boots.

I tucked my hair behind my ear, breaking eye contact with him. "Dramatic but okay."

He cocked his head to the side at my comment. "Now I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10."

"7."

"Sorry it was 5." he smirked, not looking sorry at all.

I took the clip out of my hair and tossed it to the side. "Fucker."

"I'm trying but you're holding out on me."

I howled at the typical Prince humor.

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 50."

I hesitated. ".....49."

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt revealing his that chest hair of his. I raised my brow at the sight of those abs looking like a thankgiving meal. I think he let me win that one but a win is a win. He threw his shirt to the side and continued.

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100."

I squinted. "You're kidding."

"Not at all."

I sighed, irritated. "85"

"Sorry mama, it was 83, drop them drawers"

I rolled my eyes laughing as I took off my panties and flung them into his face. He bit them a flung the off to the side, such a freak.

"Ok" he huffed. "This is the longest it's taken me to get a woman naked by the way."

"Oh how good that makes me feel." I said, sarcasm in full effect.

He pinched my cheek. "Aren't you precious."

I frowned. "Next question jackass."

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 500."
"Well damn I might as well just get naked."

"Answer the question, my erection is wearing off."

"Sounds like a personal problem." I mumbled to myself.

He leaned in. "Excuse me I didn't hear that."

"I SAID WHAT I SAID!"

"Stop making foreplay hard and give me an answer."

"28?" I groaned.

The smile he had on his face said it all. I was wrong.

"It was 12 babygirl." he said. The way he said babygirl sent electric waves through my body. I knew what I had to do. I slowly lifted my shirt over my head exposing my breasts. Prince bit his bottom lip as he took it all in. His breath became audible. His hand slid up my body and latched lightly around my throat, his eyes still wandering my body. Our eyes were locked as his thumb caressed the side of my neck. An all too familiar feeling was growing between my legs.

"What number are you thinking of now?" I asked him

"69." he simply said.

_________________

All of a sudden, my body reminded me that I was lactose intolerant and my stomach churned, I felt nauseous and not at the sexual flashbacks I was having. I got up to take the icecream back to the freezer. I paused in the doorway peeking in on Michael dancing in the kitchen by himself.

"New choreography?" I asked, making my presence known.

He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah it is... something new i'm working on."

"I love how you've been inside me yet you're still nervous when I catch you dancing."

"Some things you don't get used to."

I closed the freezer behind me, deciding to just throw the icecream away. I didn't need it anyway. I should probably just stop eating it, think of it as my journey to self love or something.

"Tell me about it."

It went quiet between us, I knew what the tension was about. I'll admit Michael and I have been spending a lot of time together after I found Prince kissing Sheila. He was just naturally the person I ran to for comfort and I couldn't even explain why. He's always been such a loving soul, as bad as he treated me and as bad as I treated him, we just have a bond. Not the healithest but we have one. However, all the while we've been hanging out, I have been worried that he was starting to catch feelings again, which I mean is completely understandable but still... I didn't want a relationship right now, and at this point I barely want the one I have.

The minute Michael seemed to finally piped up the balls to say something, the doorbell thankfully rung.

"One second!" I rushed out the kitchen and scurried into the foyer. I checked the mirror, making sure to mask my descend into clinical depression and fluffing my kinky curls, which I was one mental breakdown away from cutting all off, into decency before my eyes wandered to Angela's card shoved into the base of the mirror.

"How'd that get there?" I shrugged ignoring the most obvious sign God could ever send a heathen like me and opening the door.

I choked. Fuck. There he was, hair pulled back, glasses on, looking like a bag of money in his pressed peach suit.

He snickered, looking me over. "You look like crap."

I creased my brows, stepping outside and closing the door behind me. "I know like fuck that's not the first thing you're deciding to say to me after everything."

"Sheesh I ju-"

"Why are you here?" I did't have time for him to talk me in circles

"To talk ab-."

"About what?"

He paused, raising his eyebrow waiting for me to cut him off again. "...Music."

"That's it?"

"Well since you're cutting me off, I figured I should keep it short."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring his attempted shot at me. "You should've called me."

"I would've but I prefer to do my business with people and not their voicemail"

I sighed, crossing my arms. "Prince I barely wanna have the conversation we're having now."

He cracked a small smile. "Still my feisty one."

He can't be serious. "I'm not your anything..."

"You're mine and only mine..." he exhaled, making himself comfortable on the countertop next to me. "all rights reserved mama. Tell your little friend that too." His eyes drifted behind me.

I glared over at him. "Why do you insist on dragging him into everything? I mean you have no right to talk seeing as you're fucking your so called friends after all."

His jaw clenched. "I'm not fucking her"

"You really don't have to lie to me anymore, I get it." I threw my hands up, defeated. "She's around you all the time, she's exotic and that whiny, flat voice of hers gets you off."

"You got it all wron-"

"Get the fuck off my property Skipper!"

He sighed. "We can't just keep avoiding the situation Jasmyn.." he reached out to me but I stepped back. "I have so many things I need to tell you, I got a lot of good news and I need to share it with somebody." He seemed a little broken, which is a surpise for the guy who always keeps his cool. "Would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?"

I glared him in the eyes, trying to remove all trace of adoration for him. We ended up in a staring match and I internally decided that if he won, i'd go.

Staring into his eyes, was the probably the biggest mistake i've ever made in my life. They've got a way of making you feel special, like you're the only girl in his heart. Even when you know you aren't.

I sighed. "What time?"

"Around 8:00"

"I'll see you then."

He pecked me on the cheek before strutting off my porch with all the confidence in the world.. "I'll send a dress." he called behind him before speeding off.

I shook my head, watching him speed down the road I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm so sick of being alive."

I walked back into the house and almost shit bricks when I saw Michael frantically running back into the kitchen my fire extinguisher.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed to the top of my lung, running to help Michael and swore to myself that was the last time he was ever cooking anything in my house ever again.

later that night...

The waitress poured my glass of wine so nervously, I thought she was going to spill it. Until I looked over to Prince, who was sitting across from me rocking a marigold turtle neck set, and noticed he was staring at her, just eye-fucking her right infront of me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him, taking another swing of my wine, wishing this was tequila. However, as soon as she left. He sat back looking at me with total awe written on his face

"Fuck are you looking at?"

"I like admiring stunning women."

"Yeah I noticed." I flipped my hair over my shoulder, before helping myself to the bottle we had at our table.

He chuckled, nodding his head at my observations. "Fair enough."

I looked around the dimly lit Italian restaurant, trying to take it the ambiance. Prince had a thing about setting a mood wherever he was. He was the definition of aesthetic. To be honest, it actually put me in a peaceful mood. I spun my pasta around my fork, trying my hardest to not make eye contact with him and get my emotions worked up again although I could feel his eyes on me.

"You look amazing in that dress." he complimented the short marigold silk dress he picked out for me. To be honest, this fabric felt like a cloud and it fit me perfectly. It's as if it was handmade and they knew my exact measurements. Knowing him though, it was all of those things.

"I love it" I cheesed before rolling my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as if he didn't know.

"Look Prince, cut the overly flirty bullshit." I sat back, crossing my arms. "What do you want?"

"Okay." he dropped his fork and intertwined his hands. "I don't plan to tour the United States...at all. I want to focus on the European Market."

I shrugged. "The fuck does that have to do with me?"

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breathe. I flashed an eyebrow waiting for his response.

"Jasmyn..." he inhaled, clearly struggling over his words, which was a hell of a surprise to me.

"Prince..." I encouraged, trying to get him to spit it out.

"I need you in order to accomplish this. I want to release our song as a single and I want you to come with me to Paris to shoot a video."

I raised my eyebrow. ".....you brought me out to dinner....just for that? U Got the Look is a great song." It was really was and I completely understand why he think it'll be successful. "But the album is so consumate, the entire body of work has commercial crossover appeal, why our song and why now." I know for a fact he's here for something else, who gives a lady a hand made dress just for nothing. But then again, it is Prince we're talking about.

"Look lets just address the elephant in the room...I know that I fucked up, believe me I know and I wish that I could take it all back and  right now I know we're going through a hard time and I don't think that whatever our relationship is going through should be-"

I put my hand up cutting him off, my other hand gripping my silverware. "I will stab you with this fucking fork if you keep talking."

"See you're why can't we have a mature conversation."

"How the fuck am I the reason?! Maturity is knowing that a big requirement in a relationship is loyalty and trust and you suck ass at both of them."

"I didn't take you out to argue with you Jasmyn." he said softly, as if he felt sorry for me.

I started shaking I was becoming so upset. "We could've just done this at home and saved a lot of time."

"Why are you acting like this?"

I slammed my hands on the table. "WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!?"

He sighed heavily. "That kiss meant nothing, she means nothing! just please calm down"

"What if you caught me making out with Michael in the back corner of a party huh!?! How the fuck would you feel!?!"

His jaw clenched and his eyes widening, the signal that I got to his ass.

I scoffed. "Yeah you inconsiderate fuckass."

"Namecalling is a little immature."

I smiled sarcastically. "I'm the crown queen of it"

There was a tension filled silence, Prince bought out the restaurant and the only sound you hear was the light traditional Italian folks music mixed with heavy breathing and my aggressive toe tapping.

"Jas I-" he started attempting to break the silence. There was a look of confession in his eyes but it soon disappeared. It was in that moment I knew. I couldn't help but smile though, fully hating myself, because as pissed off as I was for some odd reason still felt complete adoration for him. You can't just turn off love and I do, I love him so fucking much but i'm nothing to him and the more I repeated that to myself the more I wanted to throw up. But I had to.

"I'm going home" I stood from the table, downing my glass of wine trying to get the fuck out of there.

"Jasmyn." he grabbed my wrists forcefully. "Can you please...just please...atleast let me tell you the truth before you walk away from me, just atleast give me that."

I sat back down, crossing my legs. "You have 5 minutes."

He started into a smile but it quickly dissipated when he realized I wasn't joking. He took a deep, shaky breathe. "The real reason I took you out to dinner was because I wanted to let you know something that's been on my mind ever since that night."

"Ok"

"When I first met you, I wasn't the um.....the best person to you" he chuckled trying to lighten the mood. "But at the end of the day we ended up having something, something that I cherished more than anything but violated....more than once, and um..... more than you know."

My eyes started to water as I saw him do everything in his power to avoid my gaze. "Prince..."

"I've realized that I can't keep toying with you like. I'm not the person for you and honestly what we have is unrepairable." I heard his voice start to crack and I felt my hear start to shatter as we both began to freely cry. "I was never completely honest with you and i've never felt such remorse, Sheila is just one of many and I brought you here to confess everything to you...."

I clenched my chest, I was in so much physical pain I felt like I was having a heart attack.

"Jasmyn i'm so sorry."