The sun was starting to set over the western horizon as I made my way back up to the surface and the confines of District 12. I could feel the warmth in my cheeks and I knew it would be there until I rest my head upon my pillow; that’s when the nightmares will start.

I climbed through the fence and headed back to the Victors village. I could see that people were watching me and I could hear their whispers as I walked with my head down.

“…Like they really need more of a Capitol presence here…”

“…I don’t know who I’d rather; a reject drunk or an obnoxious Capitol princess…”

“…Who has to die to get her what she wants…”

“…Does her victory mean that more of us get to die…?”

I took shaky breaths as I took very quick paces up to the Victor’s Village. I was almost on my front porch when I ran into Peeta. I mean I literally walked right into him.

“Oh!” I turned my face away and wiped my eyes on my forearm.

“Hey, are you okay?” He grabbed my arm to try and turn me toward him and I flinched. “Sorry.”

He looked a little sheepish, as if he should have known that touching me would cause me to recoil.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just finding it hard to feel at home in a place where no one wants me.”

“Don’t be silly, people want you here.” I gave him a look and he smiled like he was holding back a laugh. “Yeah, you’re not what I’d call a favourite around here.”

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh myself. “No, I’m not.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m better than yesterday, for now.” Which was true.

“Do you need… anything?”

“Uh… I could… no, no I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? Anything, really.”

What I wanted to ask was if he would stay with me, I really need some sleep.

“Nothing, I’m okay.”

“Did you want me to come in?” I looked up at him just screaming yes with my eyes but saying nothing. “I mean… if you want some company.”

“Yeah… okay.”

We headed into my vastly empty house and I sat down in one of the kitchen chairs while Peeta leant against the bench. The silence was slightly awkward and all I could think about was how I would sleep tonight. I put a hand to my mouth and bit down on my fingernails almost thinking that I could taste the blood that was surely under them.

“You hungry?” He asked quietly.

“I guess.”

“Why is this so…”

“Weird?”

“Exactly.”

“Maybe it’s because we know that both of us feel exactly the same thing as the other. I’m the same as you were a year ago and I’m terrified of making it through to the point where you are.”

“Maybe it’s just that I feel terrible about the fact that I left you alone over here.” He looked over sympathetically.

“You don’t have to feel bad about anything.”

“We’re tributes, victors; we fought the same war and we should be on the same side. I guess I forgot that for a while. I had my family; they kind of ripped you away from everything.”

“Thanks for reminding me.”

“Sorry,” he smiled, “I just mean that it’s probably a lot harder being alone.”

I thought about it and turned away, my eyes wistful. “I actually feel less alone now than I did back… in the Capitol.” I almost said ‘back home’ but I am home.

I saw him turn away from me and I realised that he probably thought that I meant being here with him. I figured that I had better not say anything and make it worse.

I watched him get up and head over to the fridge, taking out a piece of red meat and looking at it with hard eyes.

“What is it?”

“Oh nothing, I just, we don’t get this kind of thing out here.” He was still making me feel guilty.

“Just take it all, take it to the hob or something.”

“How do you know about the hob?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh I walked past it today. I heard someone call it that.” He didn’t seem convinced but he let it drop. “Just take whatever you want, I haven’t been eating much anyway, it’ll just go to waste.”

“Why wouldn’t you eat it?”

“Do you have any of this stuff pre-stocked in your fridge?” He looked away. “I didn’t think so. I don’t want special treatment. I know everyone thinks that I have it anyway but I don’t need it.” I pulled my feet up onto the chair and held my legs against my chest.

The glow of the setting sun illuminated the room and I stared out to the shadowy line of the forest as night fell. I shivered.

“Are you cold?” Peeta walked over and stood next to me.

“No, I just… I know that the nightmares are coming.”

“You think that’s the hard part, then they finally recede to once a week and you have to go on the victory tour. The hard part is standing in front of the district of a tribute you killed. That’ll just bring the nightmares back.” His blue eyes turned cold and he looked like he was in a whole other place.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He looked up in confusion.

“I’m sorry that you had to be a part of the games. It’s not the grandest of traditions.”

“I knew there was something very… un-Capitol-like about you. In all of the moments before the games. Well, except when you fell all over yourself in front of… of Haymitch.”

Now it was awkward again.

After a long silence he finally spoke up. “Did you… I mean… do you want me to stay here tonight?”

I didn’t expect that, and as much as I knew that I should probably say no every inch of me was practically screaming yes. It slipped out of my mouth before I could even try to stop it.

“Please?” I looked down with flushed cheeks and he looked over thoughtfully.

I even felt like maybe he was just as vulnerable as I am.