When I woke up in the morning, Effie was standing over me. “Wake up my dear, today is the day!” I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “Your prep team is waiting and your stylist will see you off!”

Part of me wanted to ask her about Peeta, but I fear that last night was a dream. Everything sort of went by in a blur. Buffing and polishing and making me actually respectable after having had no sleep. The prep team were chit chatting about the games, I still wished they would shut up, and before I knew it I was walking toward the hovercraft that would take us to the arena.

It took a few hours; it felt like it was over in minutes.

I waited in my launch room, looking over at the glass pod that would soon transport me up and onto the playing field. I was starting to panic when Cinna arrived.

“Calm down, you can do this, you volunteered!” He put his hands on my shoulders and tried to relax me.

“I know but it’s here now and… and… and…” I didn’t really know what else.

“I have something for you.” I started breathing better because I wanted to know if he’d done it.

He pulled out my bullet necklace and a small golden tube. “I managed to get them cleared so you can take them with you.” He pulled the necklace over my head so it rested on my chest.

He handed me the lipstick and I looked at the bottom. AA. I laughed lightly to myself, this was it.

“I saw the inscription, is that some kind of brand?” he asked.

“No, just a private joke.” I smiled.

I had what I needed now, but would I even make it long enough to use it.

“You’re going to be okay, you just need to be strong, and don’t freeze.” Cinna pulled me into him and I exhaled sharply.

I heard someone in the doorway and I pulled away to see Peeta standing there.

“I just came to see how you were before… you know.” He said awkwardly.

“Nervous as hell.” I gulped and walked over to him.

“I haven’t really told you anything to help and I feel really bad about that because I should know how you’re feeling, I’ve been there.” I looked up at him sympathetically and reached out to take his hand, he squeezed mine back. “When you get up there, don’t move for sixty seconds or you’ll get blown to bits, get to water as soon as you can, don’t go into the cornucopia unless you know you can survive, don’t light a fire, at least not one that’ll make a lot of smoke or light in the open, it will lead the others right to you. If you want sympathy make sure you act like you do, if you want to entertain them, keep them guessing, they’ll love you anyway because they think you’re just like them.”

I liked the way he said ‘they think’; it made me feel like smiling. “Is there anything else?” I asked.

“If you can, please team up with Haymitch, help him. I know he doesn’t seem like he knows anything or that he’d be more of a hindrance than a help but he’s smart and he knows how to work things out.”

He was holding my hand so tightly now, I know I didn’t want to let go and I hoped that he felt the same. I don’t know why I did it, I couldn’t really help it. I leant up, put my hand on his neck, and pressed my lips against his gently. I pulled back and looked at him, his eyes were closed and his lips parted slightly. He opened his eyes and looked down into mine, searching, wondering. Then he dipped his head and pulled me into him. His lips caressed mine in such a soft and tender way and yet it was hard, final. It was a kiss goodbye.

I didn’t want it to stop and I locked my hands to his neck while he wrapped his arms around me. I knew I didn’t have any more time so I released him and sank back down. He held me and looked into my eyes for a few more moments before he kissed my forehead and whispered, “Good luck.”

He let go and gave me a pained parting glance, and he was gone.

I didn’t even know that I wanted to kiss him until last night, and I knew if I didn’t do it now, I may never get to do it again.

I walked back over to Cinna who was giving me a sly smile. “What was all that about?”

“I just thought I had better do that in the case that I don’t come back.” He pulled me in for a hug and gave me a short, sharp squeeze.

“You’re strong enough for this, you can do it.”

“I know.”

There was the signal; I had to get into my entry tube.

Cinna walked me over and when I stepped inside and the glass encapsulated me I put my hands on it and Cinna blew me a kiss, I copied his motion and remembered the glitter kiss in the interviews.

And then I was rising.

I touched my pendant and the pouch in my outfit where I had stashed my lipstick, just to make sure they were still there.

I became aware that I was breathing loudly and almost gasping for air in the claustrophobic atmosphere.

Pull yourself together, or you’re dead.

I could see light; I could see grass, trees. I could see the other tributes appear around me.

I was next to the district 4 man and Cress from district 2.

The countdown began.

I saw Haymitch across the circle from me.

The woman from district 8 was crying again.

Caius was to my right and he looked determined.

“Get down and hold on!” I whipped my head to the left and the woman from 3 had tears streaming down her face.

She stared at the floor in front of her and at the last minute the tributes around her figured out what she was planning and fell to their knees.

She leapt off her platform and the instant her feet hit the ground, it exploded.

I was almost too stunned to do anything. The blast made my legs a little shaky, I dropped to my knees too, I was already shaky enough as it was, I didn’t need to fall and kill myself before anything even begins.

All the other tributes looked at her empty, shattered podium with horror. There haven’t been many tributes that jumped.

Fell, sure, got too nervous that they forgot to wait for the sixty seconds, definitely. Including the woman from district 3, only four in the history of the games have purposefully jumped.

I got back to my feet and looked at the tributes closer to the blast and realised that they were covered in dirt, grass, and pieces of the dead tribute. I inhaled sharply and looked down. One side of my body had flecks of glistening red and pink flesh spattered all over.

I stared straight into the cornucopia and tried not to think about it as I felt them burrowing into my skin with looming prospects of my own death and what I would have to do to others.

The canon fired to signal the beginning of the games, and then again for the dead tribute. For a moment I didn’t move at all. Everything around me blurred in slow motion and Cress, Blaze and the other career tributes were the first off their marks. I would have to move now if I wanted anything or wanted any chance to survive.

I leapt off my podium and sprinted towards the cornucopia. I’d like to think the others were surprised at how fast I was, but I suspect they were a little preoccupied.

I looked around at the other tributes frantically, making sure I knew where Blaze was. After her vow to come after me I couldn’t let her out of my sight while we were so close to so many weapons. I ran straight into the cornucopia and without really thinking about it grabbed three short daggers. As I turned around to get myself out I watched Cress slamming his fists into the face and body of the man from district 6. Cress was too strong and snapped his neck in one quick, sharp movement.

The man lay there limp on the grass and Cress started running towards me. I was trapped, I had to hope that he hadn’t seen me yet or I would have no chance. I ran into the shadowy part of the cornucopia, holding onto my knives tightly as he approached.

He rummaged through the weapons and found a large knife that would probably decapitate someone with one swift blow. Lucky for me, he ran straight out and slashed open the stomach of the female tribute from district 9.

I had to move now. I ran from the cornucopia and as I headed for the edge of the woods I picked up a back pack and slung it over my shoulder.

I didn’t stop running; I could hear the screams as I headed further into the thick mesh of trees. The fine branches stung my face but I didn’t care, I had to get as far away from the bloodbath as I could. I kept running, my feet felt uneasy and my legs were starting to burn but I didn’t stop.

I ran for at least ten minutes before slowing to a walk to catch my breath. The trees were thinning and I knew I would have to find a place to rest and check my pack. I found a small advance of shrubbery and hid myself inside. My hand had cramped from holding the knives as I ran and the straps from the pack were rubbing my shoulders.

It was a relief to finally put them down and stretch. I kept my ears alert and tried to make as little sound as possible, I have no idea if anyone else headed this way or followed me.

I started pulling items out of the pack, cataloguing them as I did. I had a water bottle, some dry food, basic first aid like bandages and gauze, a set of glasses that I assume were night vision, some wire, rope, and matches. Perfect.

I remember what Peeta said about fires and he would just have to forgive me while I set my plan into motion.

I piled everything back into the pack with the matches on top. I put the knives in the slits in the waist belt of the pack and looked carefully at the bushes. Berryless. I checked to see if there was any noise before emerging from my hiding spot.

There were plenty of different plants around so I searched through them. I found a small tree made of green wood and took out a knife to strip some of the bark. Another tree had some roots that were edible so I stuffed some of them into my pack and kept moving. I finally found a tree with big enough leaves and plucked a few. I was probably walking for another half an hour before I found them, a patch of berries. I counted about four different types.

I knew which ones weren’t poisonous so I collected some and ate a few. Then there was the black forest berry, it looked almost identical to a regular black berry, but it had a lethal poison that caused the victim to slowly fall asleep before their organs failed. It only took a few of the berries to cause death. You could get away with one, usually, but it wasn’t really a good plan for survival to go eating them.

“Okay…” I said to myself.

I sat down and put the greenwood on the ground. I placed the black forest berries on top and used a small stone to crush them up. I took out my matches and the plant root that I collected before. I took a bite of the root and swallowed.

“Lucky I could find the antidote.” I inspected it carefully and made sure that the audience could understand what I was doing.

I took out my lipstick and extended it fully. I set it aside on my lap as I pulled out the matches and set one alight. As I held it to the green wood I waited for it to take. The wood burned quickly and the berry juice bubbled, then the white smoke started rising. I held the lipstick over the smoke, making it seem like I was infusing it with the berry poison.

I had to make them think that it was real.  I took another bite of the plant root.

“This had better not fail me; I don’t want to kill myself with my own poisoned lipstick.” I muttered, loud enough for the cameras to hear me of course.

I waited a few more moments before I pulled the lipstick away and investigated it carefully. I look a whiff. It smelt like cosmetics and smoke.

“Perfect, just like forest berries.” I lied.

In all honestly, it was already poisoned, and the antidote was the foul liquid that I skulled from my bullet shell necklace, not the plant root. I needed the gamemakers to believe that this was a recipe I knew, that was why I fooled them in my training session. They needed to think that I wasn’t cheating them, or I would be dead in seconds in this arena.

I closed my eyes and smeared a layer of lipstick over my lips and acted like I was waiting to see if I dropped dead. Which was partly true, but everything worked smoothly and I sighed.

“Thank god for plant root.”

I pocketed my lipstick and kept moving, I decided to look for water. After travelling for more than half a day I felt the thirst creep into my consciousness and dryness started to take over my throat.