It has been three weeks since I arrived in district 12. I have been trying to see Haymitch most days but I’ve needed to go out and actually search for some kind of old world history. I see Haymitch about five times a week.

He pesters me every single time about Peeta. He wants to see him, he misses his friend. Not that he says it like that. He makes some remark about my face getting pretty monotonous and that he’d like a little diversity. I know he just doesn’t want to seem weak. Twenty years of acting tough doesn’t exactly get reversed overnight.

Peeta and I have spent every dinner together. He stays at my house and disappears in the morning. I thought it was to go to the bakery but lately he has been there when I wake up. About a week ago I woke up screaming and he came running into my room. I was shaking and I could feel the cool sweat on my forehead. He put his hand on my head and hushed me.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” My voice cracked and the tears fell from my eyes as he looked down at me sympathetically.

He looked like he didn’t know what to do; he didn’t know how to help. “Don’t say sorry. I know… I know how you feel.” He pushed my hair out of my face and looked so desperate.

I finally calmed down. I let my breathing calm down and our eyes met. I searched his big blue eyes for something, anything to let me know that he wasn’t going to leave.

“Move over.” The way he said it made me think that it was an impulse but his eyes were telling a whole other story.

“What?”

“I’m tired of having to come in here every night; I may as well…start here…” I scooted over and he climbed in beside me.

Our bodies didn’t touch. He just lay next to me in the sheets and gave a large sigh. We both lay on our backs and stared at the ceiling and for the rest of the night I didn’t have a nightmare.

After that I had maybe one or two a night.

Two nights ago we were both awake for hours. I can't even explain why, or what kept us awake but we were just lying there. Neither of us said anything but he reached over slowly and took my hand. Nothing more, just a gentle squeeze. He didn’t let go all night, as far as I’m aware, and he was still with me in the morning.

Our eyes connected as the sun started to pour through the window. I smiled warmly and I felt him lace his fingers between mine and squeeze tightly before he sat up and stretched out.

“I’ll see you later okay?” I nodded and he headed out of my room.

Then last night I decided that I was going to take him to Haymitch.

He climbed in beside me and this time I rolled over to face him and he did the same. The silence was our new thing. We hardly talked and it worked for us.

After what seemed like a long time he spoke up. “This has really helped me you know. For the first time in so long that I haven’t felt totally alone. You get it.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” He inched closer to me and pulled me into an embrace. I rested my head on his chest and sighed with content as I listened to his heart beating.

“I’m glad I have you as a friend.”

I don’t know why it made my stomach churn to hear him out it like that, but it did. He called me his friend and that shouldn’t have been a bad thing. It isn’t a bad thing, but for some reason I couldn’t shake that regretful feeling.

I wasn’t going to bring up what happened before the games, I was trying not to even think about it. Maybe it was because I felt guilty about what I did after that, about what he had to see me do in the games. He didn’t seem to be angry about it, or sad, or even remotely concerned. I should just forget about it.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked with a smile.

“I was going down to the bakery, but did you want to do something?” His smile was laced with hope. It was such a strange thing to see under these circumstances.

“I want to show you something, outside the district.”

“Did you find something interesting?” I thought about how I would respond to that, I decided to just be elusive.

“You could say that.”

Again I fell asleep with his fingers between mine. It was nice to have the added comfort.

I did wake up thrashing in the night but Peeta pulled me into him with a strength I didn’t expect and restrained me. I hardly even remember it, I was so groggy. I just remember waking up in the morning to see Peeta’s angelic face still suspended in slumber and watching him for a while. In one quick moment it changed from peaceful to pain as his soft expression grew tense.

He took a sharp intake of breath and startled himself awake, his breathing becoming more frequent. I lifted my hand to his arm and squeezed it tightly. His eyes shot towards me and for just a second I connected to the panic inside him. It was just as dark and cavernous as mine.

When the darkness lifted from his eyes his breathing started to slow and he blinked the darkness away.

“I guess you didn’t stay here for my benefit, at least not completely.” I smiled lightly.

“It’s awfully lonely in a great big house, and it still feels crushing. So yeah, having a little company is definitely a plus.” I sighed; I know exactly how he feels.

“Come on!” I climbed out of bed and headed for the bedroom door.

We loped downstairs and I grabbed my bag and threw some food into it, including the rest of yesterday’s loaf of bread.

“You won’t eat that whole thing today will you?” Peeta laughed a little as he saw me packing it.

“No but I’ll need it.” He gave me a quizzical look and I must have had a rosy glow in my cheeks. “Come on.”

We headed out and into the district and I led him to the fence where we hopped through to the other side.

“Where is it that you’re taking me?” he pushed past the low-lying brush and we weaved between the trees, the light of the early morning sun shining in rays through the canopy of trees.

[start music now]

“Do you know much about Old World literature?” I held a branch back to let Peeta through.

“A little, I saw some movies when I was in the Capitol, and my father had a few when he could afford to treat us, and the power was available in the bakery.”

“Have you heard of someone called Shakespeare?” He pulled a face and shrugged.

“Never heard of him.”

“Well he was a writer, apparently he was quite well known.”

“What does he have to do with anything?” I headed up over some rocks and extended my hand to help him up.

“He wrote a play, people used to go on stage and act out what he had written, it sounds amazing to me. He wrote lots of plays but Caledon gave me the entirety of one. Romeo and Juliet, it was about two star crossed lovers.”

He raised his eyebrows at me.

“That’s not the bit that’s important,” I said quickly. “You see, Romeo and Juliet were from families at war with one another. When they met one night by chance they fell madly and passionately in love. Of course if wither of their families found out they would have been furious.

“Romeo threw pebbles at Juliet’s window and recited his love for her after he hears her vow to love him despite their families’ quarrels. They marry secretly but when Juliet’s cousin finds out he begins a fight with Romeo and the Montague’s.

“He kills Romeo’s friend and so Romeo slays him to repay the debt but Juliet’s father banishes him from the city, threatening exile if he ever returns.”

“It sounds really dramatic.” Peeta smiled over at me as we made quick steps down a small hill.

“If I can get my hands on it on the Victory tour I’ll show you, you wouldn’t believe the writing, it’s like another language. It’s… it just… it takes your breath away.” I know I was off in another world again and I could tell that Peeta saw it in my eyes.

“Finish telling the story, I want to know how it ends.” We both paused from our walk to look at one another and I waited in silence for a few moments before starting the story again.

“That night, before he left the city, Romeo spent the night in Juliet’s bedroom. They consummated their marriage and got to spend one last night together before he was banished, knowing that it was the last night. He left the city and Juliet was full of grief, pained. Her father, to make her happy, told a suitor by the name of Count Paris that Juliet would accept his marriage proposal. Only Juliet refused, she was married and loved Romeo, even if she couldn’t see him again. Her father threatened to disown her. When she sought out her mother to plead for a delayed wedding, she rejected her.”

“Her own family would rather she marry someone she doesn’t know or love than be with a man from a family they deemed… disgraceful?”

I shrugged. “There are families like that in the Capitol, mainly ones high up in the aristocracy.”

“The what?”

“The really rich powerful families.”

“I see. So what happened to Romeo?”

“He left for a small town, he was heartbroken. Juliet pursued the friar who married them and asked him to help her. He sent her to an apothecary.”

“A what?”

“They deal with like potions and poisons and herbs and all sorts of stuff.”

“Like your mother?” I paused to look over at him and smiled.

“Yeah, like her. So he gave Juliet a vile of poison that created a death-like state to the drinker. Her heart would appear to stop beating, her blood would slow so quickly that she would have no pulse and she would turn pale. She would stay this way for almost two whole days. No one would believe that there was life in her body. The friar said he would send a messenger to Romeo so that he could meet her when she woke.

“She took the poison and they proclaimed her to be dead. She was placed in the Capulet crypt and mourned. The messenger never made it to Romeo and he heard of her death from his friend. He bought a powerful poison from the apothecary and took it with him to the crypt. When he went to mourn the love of his life he ran into Paris and killed him. He saw his Juliet dead on the bed of rose petals and wept for his love.

“He unstoppered the poison and drank it. It was only after his death that Juliet wakes up to see him dead and, overcome by grief, she stabs herself with his dagger and they are finally together.” We reached the log and I climbed in.

“That’s a horrible story.” He followed me in, looking unsure of it all.

“It’s kind of beautiful, but I told you that story more for underlying reasons.” I opened the trap door and headed down the ladder.

“What reasons and where the hell are we going?”

“You’ll see.” He followed me reluctantly and we walked down the cement corridor.

“The poison thing, was that it? The point to your story? Were you trying to tell me that you were doing the best thing for them by letting them die peacefully in the games?”

“Close,” I opened the door to Haymitch’s chamber and we stepped inside.

“How long does that damn walk take? Oh, and you brought a friend.” Haymitch grinned and Peeta’s face went pale.

He said nothing; he just took a few breaths and leant back against the wall, in complete shock.