Honorary Chapter: by August Rush

    Chapter: "The Family I Yearned For"

      It had been three days. Three days in the arena. I still can't wipe away the scenes which I saw at the Bloodbath. It was all blood and gore, but the scene that stuck with me the most was the one where Coriolanus Adver, that psycho killer from Five, didn't kill me. Why? I mean, come on, me as small and weak as I am I just pop up right in front of him like God sent me there especially for the one who loves killing TO KILL. But he just leaves. He looks at me, and then leaves.

    I can't stand to lie here anymore, so I get up to walk and think. Walking always helps me think. It's something about nature and how it sounds and feels that helps me -- "Oh my god Tay!!" I scream before I can even think. I jump back, and then my heart pounds inside my head. Kaleb wakes up and looks to me in horror, but I'm fine. It's Tay I'm worried about here. She is covered head to toe in a sticky, rich crimson liquid that looks like it was poured onto her like a waterfall.

    "TAY!" Kaleb shouts and immediately he's at her side, while I'm still writhing from the sudden stench of blood in the forest air. Kaleb shakes her as his face turns to ash, not caring that his hands are slowly turning bloody. She wakes up, and relief escapes my lips.

    "What? WHaT?!" She screams at the sight of herself, kicking her legs around on the grass. The small fire that was slowly burning in our pit has faded to ash and smoke now, and the forest around seems deathly quiet.

     "What the hell?! This isn't my blood!" Tay declares. Kaleb keeps swiping the blood off her body as if he thinks that'll do any good. I hear him mutter something about it still being warm....

    "Here, we need to get to some water so she can wash this off. Do you have any idea who did this to you?" I ask worriedly. She stares at me in shock.

     "I never woke up once. I-I didn't even feel -- whoever it was must've dumped someone's blood all over me, but I have no ide-"

   "Five." Kaleb mutters, and then scoops Tay up bridal-style in his arms. I look to Keiko; then Kaleb.

  "Would you mind guarding the camp? W-will you be okay alone? I need August's help." Kaleb asks her. She nods readily, shocked at the sight as well. But, she's a career, shouldn't she be used to the sight of blood? No you idiot, Career's train for this yes, but they don't actually kill people in training. Oh, right. I gather up a backpack and Kaleb's weapons, then trudge along through the forest behind them. Five. Could it really of been him? Why would the one who's 'so obsessed' with killing just come into camp to dump blood on Tay, and then leave?

     On another note: where do you think he got the blood? Of course he had to kill someone to obtain blood, but who? I hear screams in the forest. Screams of a man. It must be him; ever since Kaleb killed that girl, he's been having raging fits at random. It terrifies me. Not only are we in a place where death is at every turn, but now we have to endure the screams of a mad-man day and night. I follow Kaleb closely, my heart pounding in my chest. I can't hear the conversation they're having, on account of the loud thudding in my ears, but I follow along in silence, watching nothing but the automatic movement of Kaleb's feet. We're nearing water. I can hear the faint rushing of the stream  just a few feet away.

  Once we reach it, Kaleb takes his weapons from me after setting Tay on a grassy knoll by the water. "Would you?" Kaleb asks quietly. I nod.

I go over to Tay and start cupping water in my hands, then pouring it on her. After awhile of this, I took off my t-shirt and soaked it with water, then proceeding to scrub the blood off her skin. I didn't think she'd mind, as I am only twelve. After a couple minutes she started giggling. I looked at her curiously, but she just kept giggling. Finally I'd had enough mystery, and asked; "What's so funny?" She turns to me and smiles, "I haven't had a boy take off his shirt for me in a really long time, that's all." She says, with a mischievous look in her eye. I crinkle my nose up, wringing out my shirt again.

  "Gross." I mutter. I hear Kaleb laughing as he stands guard. I take my shirt and cautiously scrub her skin, standing as far from her body as possible. She starts laughing and I laugh too.

  Pretty soon all the visible blood is gone, but then I see some blood under part of her t-shirt. I wrinkle my nose again, thinking of the jokes she'd make now. We should've brought Keiko along to do this, but someone had to watch camp and I know why Kaleb didn't want me there alone. He thinks of me as his brother who needs protecting, that or he just still doesn't trust Keiko. Or both. He doesn't trust her to look after me, so as a brother might do he takes me along because he feels he can protect me a lot better.

I sigh, and do what I know I have to do. I go over and take off Tay's shirt. At the start, before we entered the arena, our stylists all gave us appropriate clothing for the arena. So we were all given swimming suits underneath our clothes, because apparently Keiko says there's an ocean out there. She also says there's a desert with fish that fly through the sky, which sounds soooo cool and I wanna go and see it!

Tay giggles as I wash her stomach. She wears a blue two-piece swim suit, so technically it's not inappropriate. Besides I'm twelve, and she's like fifteen or sixteen.

  Finally I wash all the blood off Tay's body, but her clothes are still really bloody. So I wash them too, and tie them around my neck to carry back to camp. Tay walks with Kaleb in her swim suit back to camp as the warm rays of sunrise start to flood in. The whole walk I felt like we were being watched, which we probably were, but I kept my head down and my eyes forward. I will not be scared, I will not be scared. I think over and over. When we get back to camp I'll write some poems in the sand and read them to Tay and Keiko, something I do often now. It's only a matter of time before I'm somebody's next kill.

  Back at the camp, all seems fine. Keiko jumps up as we walk in, but she has nothing to report. All normal; all safe.

I set down our things in a grassy area and then hang my shirt and Tay's clothes on a nearby limb to dry. Kaleb tells me he'll build up something over the fire so they'll dry quicker. I sit beside Keiko in the dirt and start tracing letters, the last poem I'd written in my book before I left. The one of a thousand beatings from Rufus and Farus.

  After a couple minutes, the clothes drying on the fire, Kaleb sharpening weapons, Tay and Keiko sitting around, I decide to read them my poem.

  "I was crying, moaning, and yelping on the ground, helpless and alone.

Nobody cared, and nobody heard, the pain I was feeling beside a dusty old curb.

And as I lay there, my eyes stinging with tears, thinking of all the years.

In all the time I'd been here, not one person has told me they care.

No one has made things fair.

They don't see me.

They don't hear,

I'm not free,

I'm full of fear.

Why do I keep living here?

I could run, yes I could run.

But I'm afraid in Panem, there is nowhere to run."

I look up, and Tay looks very sad. Keiko looks even sadder. Before I know it I'm strangled in a hug by her; "Aw, August, I'm so sorry!" She squeals like it was her fault. "if I could I'd teach those boys a lesson." She growls. I smile, "Thanks Keiko," I look at Tay, and I know that look. She wishes she could wrap me in her arms and strangle me, even if I didn't really want a hug. I push myself off the ground and go to her, hugging her instead. "I love you Tay." I whisper in her ear. Honestly, she is the closest thing I've had to a sister, despite the many orphans who I've lived with my entire life, not one of them has come even close to being family. Now, someone has.

I pull away and Tay is smiling through tears. "Thank you Aug," She says. I smile. "You're my honorary family now." I say and then turn to Keiko. "It's alright, what they did to me was far better than what we've endured here." I say. What I don't say is that deep down I wish they had been chosen at the Reaping. I don't say that I wish I could inflict as much pain on them as they did me, that I secretly wish it was Rufus or Farus' blood that got spilled, even if it meant it had to be poured on Tay, if it was one of their blood pools, that would be worth it. I don't say those things because they're scary; because even thinking them I feel like a psycho, like Coriolanus. I wonder if he thinks those things, if acting out those thoughts is what makes him crazy. If that's true then I never want to think those things again. Ever.

  Suddenly Keiko turns her head to a nearby tree, glaring at some point on it. "I hope you're watching. I hope you see what you've done, and I hope you regret it for the rest of your life." She says. I realize she's talking into a camera, one of the many that broadcasts to the Capitol. I smile my thanks, but I know it's wrong to wish that upon them.

  "Thanks Keiko, for looking out for me. But I think I can handle myself." I stand up, and turn to the camera. "Rufus, Farus. I admit that I do hope you're watching. And I do hope you realize what you did to me was wrong, it wasn't at all like what you said; you weren't turning me into a man, you weren't making me stronger, you didn't prepare me for any of this. You made me weaker, you gave me cowardice, you broke me. And I wish so bad that I could hurt you like you hurt me, but since these might be my final moments on earth, I will wish you peace, happiness, prosperity. I wish you finally find a home, and a family, like I never did. I hope you find the happiness I yearned for so much; I wish you come to terms with what you have done, and you never do it again to any other little boy or girl in the whole wide world. And I wish the world can finally see the good side of you, both of you. I wish you the best of luck as an orphan, and I wish you even better luck with a family of your own." I end with a smile, standing there momentarily as if time has frozen. I wait for some kind of response, some kind of sign that they heard. But I know nothing will come.

  I turn around to see two girls practically in tears. My first thought is, what'd I say? But that's stupid. I said everything. And they know it; I know it. Kaleb is silent and he's stopped sharpening, but he doesn't leave his post. Keiko and Tay run at me, tackling me. Arms wrap around me and two heads rest on either of my tiny shoulders.

"You did find a family August." Tay says in my ear. "And we love you." She adds. I feel ready to break into tears, but I hold strong. Us boys of the group gotta remain boys, no tears this time. Can't show weakness.

  I wrap an arm around both of them, and pull them closer. "I love you guys, too." I say smiling. I guess in all truth, I really have found the family I yearned for. And I will never betray them.

Just as I am about to let go of the hug, I freeze. My eyes stay fixed on a pair of silvery-grey ones peering at me from the foliage. This is far from over.