She was going to leave him. Sam had a gut feeling. And to top it off, she was going to leave him during the holidays. As if the holidays weren't already lonely enough on their own-- an ever constant reminder of friends and family and memories long lost. A nostalgia for a time when things always seem easier, better, happier. And he thought they were happy.

He really did. But honestly, he didn't blame Marie.

There were times when he was gone for weeks, months at a time even. Work dragged him from one side of the planet to the other, with little time in between. He spent more time with his coworkers than he did with her. He spent more time on the televisions of strangers than he did with her. He'd met Marie when he'd least expected it. Her being based in London wasn't such a big deal two years ago. But the space and the time apart was beginning to wear on them. Both of them. Though he loved her more than words could say, he would understand if she left. It wasn't easy being with him. No amount of Skype, text messaging and quick 24 hour visits could make up for his schedule.

He'd arrived back in London the night before. She'd been warm and happy to see him, but he'd felt the distance there. The city was oozing Christmas cheer, but their bond felt cold and wrought with worry. Christmas lights twinkled on the fronts of houses, snow glittered on the ground, muting the sounds of the city. Marie had held his hand as they'd run errands, but when she smiled at him, her eyes were far away. Sam felt like she was just waiting for the holidays to be over, and then she would drop him.

"It was so good seeing you. Thank you for coming over." Marie said, her voice light and carefree as she embraced her best friend, Laura, and Laura's husband, Michael. Sam followed suit, shaking Michael's hand and giving Laura a quick hug as the couple bundled up to brave the cold London night.

"Those tarts were amazing, Mar. And Sam-- it was so good to see you! Good luck when you go back to work. When do you head back?" Laura asked, tucking her scarf around her neck and into her coat. Sam smiled, reaching up and tucking his russet brown hair behind his ear. It curled by his ears, and set off the vibrant blue of his eyes.

"I have a bit of a break- ten days. Then it's back to Scotland." He smiled, glancing over at Marie. She was smiling at Laura, but then her smile faltered, ever so slightly as he spoke.

"Gorgeous place though. Not such a bad work environment, eh?" Michael joked and both Sam and Marie laughed softly though neither of them thought it was funny.

"Have a happy Christmas. Let's get together after the new year." Marie said, opening the front door. Sam watched her, barely able to breathe. Since the moment he'd met her- she'd been the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. Long, sleek dark hair. Flawless caramel skin. Eyes that were an unnatural deep, sapphire blue. Tonight she was wearing a simple dark green silk blouse over a flowy black skirt that hit her at her knees. She was breathtaking. He had to remember to tell her.

"Good night!" Sam managed, breaking himself from his thoughts as Michael and Laura took their leave. He was glad the night was over. The tension between him and Marie had been nearly palpable, but they'd done their best to hide it. They hadn't been fighting. They hadn't been arguing. They just hadn't been...anything.

Marie closed the door with a sigh, and then turned around, smoothing her skirt at her sides. She gave him a half hearted smile, and Sam moved toward her. She froze then, waiting.

"I'm glad I got to see them. It's been too long." He said, pausing a few feet from her. Marie nodded.

"They were happy you had time this visit. We were so rushed the last time." She said, sounding sad and far away. Sam took a deep breath, crossing his arms over his wide chest.

"I'm sorry, Mar. That it's been so hard lately. I wish there was a way to make it easier--"

"Sam." Marie stopped him, one slender hand up. She shook her head once, and then turned.

"Don't walk away, Marie." Sam took a half step toward her, but Marie kept walking. He followed her into the dining room, watching her as she collected plates and dishes. She was upset. She always cleaned when she was upset.

They carried dishes in silence, moving from the dining room into the small, messy kitchen. They carefully avoided each other, as if it were a choreographed dance and they knew the steps by heart. Sam wanted to tell her he loved her. Wanted to tell her that she could move to Scotland with him, and he'd take care of her. But Marie was a lawyer, and she loved her job. He could never ask that of her. It was selfish and he knew it.

Sam carried the last of the glasses into the kitchen, taking in the sight of Marie standing at the sink. Her back was to him, her shoulders hunched as she rinsed dishes, and put them into the dishwasher. It was a small kitchen, but it was a small flat she lived in. Barely enough room for her, and likely not enough room for him. He never failed to notice that. Sam stood to the side for a moment, empty wine glasses in hand.

She'd hung colorful Christmas lights from the wooden rafter beams. There was a cheerful little snowman sitting in the window over the sink. This was home. She made it home. On the fridge, there were pictures of them from happier times, taped up with folded, worn corners. Her wide, beautiful smile. His unruly hair, and smiling blue eyes. Marie hadn't put up a Christmas tree though. She'd mentioned doing that with him, weeks ago. But there hadn't been time when he'd been home before, and so now, it wouldn't get done. He didn't blame her. There was nothing sadder than putting up a Christmas tree by yourself.

"Marie, love." His lilting voice, deep and soft, broke the quiet noises of the running water. Marie turned around then, and he noticed her red eyes. She was crying, and Sam felt his heart break. He rushed forward, putting the dishes onto the counter and gathering her into his arms.

Marie didn't push him away, but rather crumpled against him. Her soapy hands and forearms wrapped around his waist, and she pressed her face into his dress shirt. She didn't care if she got her lipstick on him. It was the farthest thing from her mind.

Sam pressed a kiss to the top of her head, one big hand coming to her hair. He murmured a few words, words that she didn't catch but didn't really need to.

"I understand, Marie. I do." He said softly, his voice catching. She froze in his arms, looking up at him after a moment. A tear rolled down her cheek, and Marie brushed it away.

"Understand what? Sam?" She asked softly, her eyes searching his.

"I love you so much, Mar." He knelt down then, slightly, taking her by the arms. "But I know why you're unhappy. I know why you want to leave. I don't blame you. It's not easy doing this-- being with me and...you deserve so much more." He was strangely energized by the words, both angry with himself and at the situation. Marie looked up at him with big eyes, her red lips parted.

"Oh, Sam." She pressed her hands to his sides, clutching gently as his waist. Her voice was heavy, full of emotion.

"I don't want to lose you. You're everything to me. But you've been gone, love. And I get why. I'm a bloody idiot when it comes to relationships. You're the most important thing to me, and I can feel you slipping through my fingers." He sighed heavily, leaning back against the counter behind him, running a hand through his hair.

Marie took a step forward, her hands never leaving his sides. She pressed herself against him then, molding her smaller body to his. Sam held her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, wishing he could hold her closer.

"I'm not leaving you, you idiot." She whispered after a moment. Sam frowned, pushing her away gently so he could see her face.

"What? But you've...been so...off. Things have been such a mess--"

"I got laid off from my job." She said then, her voice wavering. "I tried to tell you two weeks ago, but it was during that time you were working 18 hour days and I just never found the time. And then I got so worked up about l-losing my job...I just hate talking about it. I know I'll find something else, but I've just felt so lost. It feels like my whole world has been flipped upside down." Marie let out a soft sob then, and Sam pulled her back into him, shock running through him. He knew how much her job meant to her. He knew she came from a working family, and Marie had been working since she was a teen. Odds and ends job, retail work, even working through law school. So to suddenly be without a job...Sam knew it truly must have flipped her head around.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He leaned down then, taking her face in his hands, lifting her eyes toward his.

"Do you want to leave me? Are you unhappy?" She asked then, her face showing a rare moment of insecurity and worry. Sam grinned, shaking his head and laughing as he pulled her to him for a kiss.

"You make me happier than I deserve to be. I know things need to change, Mar. But we'll find a way, right? If you want me, I'm yours." He whispered against her lips, before she smiled and pulled him to her. She took his breath away, she always did.

"Believe me, I want you." She smirked, yanking him closer as she pressed herself up against him, her hips into his. Sam grinned and sighed with relief, nipping gently at her lips and then moving to bury his face in that perfect space on her sweet smelling neck. Sam ran his hands down her back, pressing his fingers into her perky ass, making Marie laugh and playfully swat at his hands.

"Let's clean up first, then you can be naughty Santa." She said, tucking her hand momentarily into Sam's front pocket, making him practically fall to his knees.

"Dear god, you're going to kill me, woman." He grinned and groaned, and then started practically throwing dishes into the sink.

They stood side by side for the next few moments, in companionable silence. Sam singing off key Christmas carols, and Marie giggling at the way his voice would crack terribly. Sam rinsed dishes, as Marie handed him things, wiping down the counter and putting away leftovers. Sam kept stacking the dishes, the glasses and silverware in a terrible haphazard pile on the counter, a wobbling atrocity that Marie could only roll her eyes at good naturedly.

"We could get a tree still, you know. I know tomorrow is Christmas Eve, but we could still get a tree." He said after a beat, watching Marie for a reaction. She beamed at him, her smile bright and back to normal. Almost. He saw a quick waver there, a half seconds worth of that same worry that had been there before. He wanted to ignore it, but he wasn't sure if he could.

"Yes. Let's do that." She nodded.

"Are you alright, love? Really okay?" He asked, turning off the water, and wiping his hands on a towel. Marie paused then, her face getting pensive. She shifted from one foot to the other, and Sam braced for impact.

"I'm okay."She said carefully. He narrowed his eyes at her, and gave her a nervous smile.

"But?" He waited, anxious.

"There's one other thing. Something...bigger than me losing my job. And...I think it's something that you should know." She looked at him then, her dark blue eyes clear and powerful. Sam felt her look through him, and he took a half step forward, his jaw clenching anxiously.

"I'm pregnant, Sam." She laughed, a bubbling, happy sound that was uncontrollable.

"Marie!" He shouted his eyes wide and glittering, his smile wider. Sam ran to her, grabbing Marie and picking her up, twirling her around in the tiny little kitchen before setting her down and kissing her. His kiss was passionate, all encompassing.

"Are you serious?! Is that why you've been so serious lately? Jesus, Marie." He laughed as she shook her head, smiling through tears.

"I was so worried to tell you." She sniffed, holding back tears.

"Oh love, you don't need to worry about anything. You don't need to worry about a thing in the world." He said with a grin, before grabbing her again, wrapping her in his arms. Happiness raced through both of them, shaking them to their cores. Sam rocked backwards, picking Marie up off her feet, kissing her with all his heart.

"You are brilliant, do you know that? Breathtaking." He whispered against her ear, as Marie hugged him tight.

Just then, he stepped back, knocking into the terribly stacked pile of dishes on the counter, sending them crashing, colliding and breaking around them. Marie yelped with laughter, still in Sam's arms, as he cursed loudly and happily.

"Well, naughty Santa has a bit of a mess to clean up, doesn't he?" Sam groaned, refusing to put Marie down. She smiled and nodded, taking his handsome face between her hands.

"Yes, but it can wait. We have all the time in the world."