The air in the waiting area was too stifling so we decided to take a walk around the hospital. There's a humble makeshift playground at the back of the main building, with a small park to compliment it. 

The hospital staff usually take the geriatric patients on long term care and child patients on chemo for their morning walks there, just to get some energy into their frail bodies. Why do I know this? Because I've been a frequent visitor to this hospital and the park here since I was a kid. When I was much younger, my mother's nurse friends would bring me here as a distraction while she got treated upstairs. 

Some of the older staff recognise me and wave. I smile back and then their gazes go to Luke who's walking beside me. We finally got the cup of coffee he offered but the flavour today is so bland, the coffee's grown cold in my hand. I hold it anyway, my grip tightening every time my phone buzzes in my pocket. 

"You're not going to answer that?" Luke finally asks when the phone buzzes loudly for the umpteenth time. 

"Why should I? He's the one who caused this problem in the first place," I answer, my voice tight. 

Luke doesn't reply. He remains silent by my side and even though he told me he wanted to stay, a part of me still doesn't believe it. I wonder again why he's here. He could be training or chilling in his room or hanging out with friends, anywhere but here with me. 

Maybe it's pity after he saw me breakdown at the stairwell, maybe he doesn't know how to tell me he wants to leave? 

Or maybe... 

I don't want to think about the other possibilities. I don't want to feel the hope I felt when my face was buried against his chest. His beautiful, very firm, very broad chest that a part of me wants to sink into again. 

"If you need to go, it would be best if you left now." I tell him, eyes darting his way briefly. He doesn't reply so I ramble on. "I'd probably have to go up soon. They should be done with the examinations and then someone from social services might come in for some questioning. Although it's been awhile so they might not."

"Danielle," Luke turns to me, stopping me in my tracks. Children's shrieks can be heard from the playground but his face drowns out everything else. "I hate that you've had to go through this before. That too alone. I'm not leaving your side today. Whether you like it or not I'm staying." 

That darn hope grows again. An iridescent fire burning in the deepest parts of my chest. The feeling frightens me so much because it makes me feel so powerless. Like he's holding my feelings in the palm of his hand.

Is this how Elizabeth felt with Zander and my mother with my father? Is that why Liz took the break up so badly? And my mother? Despite the years of abuse and neglect, my mother never left her husband's side, never reported against him, never thought of leaving him. 

Is it because he made her feel this way once upon a time? 

I spot a small cement bench nestled against a well trimmed bush and head over to it. Luke sits down next to me with his palms laid flat against the grainy surface, fingers splayed and so close to mine. If I moved an inch we would touch. 

We're facing the playground now and there's a little girl in a hospital gown reaching for the swing. Her head is shaved but small blonde spikes of hair have already started growing. She's laughing when the nurse helps her onto the seat, tugging her back and forth lightly. 

It feels wrong to be this miserable about my life when she can still laugh while fighting for her life on a daily basis. 

"It wasn't always like this," I say slowly. "We were a happy family at one point. I don't remember how old I was but we used to go to beaches together and parks, I think." The memories are so vague I can barely recall them. 

I feel Luke's hand touching mine now. We're not holding each other, just our pinky fingers grazing each other's but it feels like he is supporting me with that little bit of contact.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," He says softly, tentatively. "We can talk about anything. The sunny sky, the clouds that are shaped like cotton candy. Damn, now I'm hungry."

I smile reluctantly and turn to see him staring at the sky. His brown hair is littered with gold under the sunlight and he squints up at the sun. 

"I know," I sigh but somehow I feel like I owe him an explanation. "But I just want you to know that this isn't how it always is."

I swallow hard, quickly realising that I sounded exactly like my mother. 

"Dad used to take care of us but then he lost his job as a traffic officer. Apparently, it wasn't his first time drunk on the job. After that he invested his money in a friend's business that went bust and then everything went down hill from there. He started drinking more, could never hold on to a job and never gave up on wasting our savings on some stupid investment that never took off." 

My voice raises a notch and my head starts to pound with anger. "It's always about money. All our arguments, every time he hit her. He always blames us for his bad decisions. I told her we should leave but she insists on her duty to her husband." 

An angry tear rolls down my cheek and I force myself to concentrate on the little girl playing by the swing. She giggles profusely when pushed forward and my heart slows, the sound of her laughter soothing my nerves. 

"There is no justifiable reason to hit a woman." Luke says and then he pauses. I feel the absence of his touch and look down to see his hand bunched into a tight fist. "Has he ever hit you?" 

The silence that ensues drags on between us and I watch the shadows darken in his eyes. I've never seen Luke look like this. Like he is capable of killing someone. 

"He has," He notes slowly, studying me. 

"Not badly. Not like my mum. It's usually my fault they fight anyway." Why is it so natural for me to defend the abuse with these stupid words coming out of my mouth? If I were talking to my mother I would be begging her to leave him, telling her it's stupid to stay with such an abusive man. 

I quickly stop talking when I see the frown on Luke's face. 

"You shouldn't be in such a vulnerable position every time you are back home. It's not safe." 

I almost snort. I've been doing it for years. Nothings going to change till I graduate and leave.

"Stay at campus. Or why don't you stay at my place whenever there's a long break. That way you can visit your mum but you'd be away from your dad." 

My eyes widen in surprise at his offer and I laugh in disbelief. "Luke, I can't do that. My mum needs me."

"Danielle, I hate the thought of you getting hurt. It makes me want to punch a hole into this cement seat." We both look down at the bench in unison. 

"That would probably hurt." I tell him smiling. 

"Yeah, coach would not be too happy," He plays into my joke. "But I'm serious. Now that I know, I can't in good conscience leave you there to his mercy. I saw the way he held your wrist in that mart, Danielle. God, now everything makes sense." 

"I'm not going to desert my mother and hide out at your place," I tell him crossly.

"And I'm not asking you too." His sea green eyes are so sincere when he looks at me. "Okay fine. I'll stay with you." 

This time I jump up from the bench, earning a look from the elderly patient lounging on another bench across from us. 

"You can't stay with me. That's insane!" 

Luke pulls my arm, gesturing for me to relax and sit down. "Why not? Maybe an outsider staying in your house would be the perfect buffer. Your father can't do anything while I'm there watching, right?" 

"No. No. No. That's ridiculous." 

"It's perfect. My parents wouldn't even mind since your place is a stone's throw away from ours." 

"And what are you going to tell them? That you're staying at your friend's house who just so happens to be a girl? Also there's no room at my place, sorry." I say this but my heart is racing just thinking about living in such close proximity with him. 

"I can stay in the living room." He insists. 

I laugh out loud, at a loss for words because this conversation is ridiculous but Luke looks so serious. He's actually considering staying with me when we come down for the holidays. 

"We should head up to check on my mum." I dust off the imaginary dirt on my pants and stand up. 

"I'm serious. I'm not leaving you alone with that man, even if he's your father." 

My heart churns, chest warming at the protectiveness in his voice. It feels like my insides are melting, face going warm as he falls in step beside me. We walk past the playground and the little girl waves at us, she looks tired already from the little bit of playtime. I can see her nurse readying her to go back inside. 

I wave back and the cool air conditioning hits my head the moment we walk into the back lobby. Luke continues with his convincing, telling me we can take turns to share the bathroom, that he will give me my space and that we can go for walks in the evenings together. 

It sounds like he's planning a sleepover. 

We reach the trauma ward on the third floor, the lighting here much dimmer than it was downstairs. The smell of disinfectant here is stronger than ever, a sterile smell that lingers in my nostrils as we cross the floor. 

Luke is still talking about how he could stay tonight when I suddenly remember one thing. Or in this case, one person. 

"Zander," I suddenly blurt out and he stops. 

He looks at me in confusion and then it slowly dawns on the both of us that I have a boyfriend who just so happens to be his best friend. 

"Zander's not going to like that arrangement." I say. Finally, I can use him to my advantage. 

"He doesn't have to know," Luke rebuttals my statement but even he doesn't look convinced. Even us being here together is a bad idea. I already have numerous unopened messages from Zander asking me where I am. If he knew I was with Luke...

As if on cue, Luke's phone rings and he looks down at the screen to see Zander's name. We both see it, but he slides the phone back into his pocket without answering. 

His expression is sombre now. "Why are you with him, Danielle?" He asks me and my eyebrows raise.

"I'm dating him, what else?" 

"You're dating the guy who dated your best friend? Don't you girls have a girl code or something?" His eyes narrow trying to catch my guilty little micro expressions so I quickly focus my attention to the ward's entrance. 

I don't have time for this. Not again. I try to walk around him, heading for the front desk when he pulls me back. 

"You and Zander, it just doesn't make sense. There's something off there." Luke's stare pierces right through me and I find myself trembling. "Tell me you don't feel anything when you're with me. Tell me it's just me and I'll let go." 

I open my mouth to lie to him. To tell him that it's just him but the words don't want to come out. And then a nurse interrupts us. 

"Danielle?" It's sister Claudia, the one who spotted us downstairs. "Your mother's awake."