Chapter 31
Blood oozes onto the floor, slowing down to the trickle. My father is crouched over my mother, shaking her in an attempt to regain her consciousness. I stand frozen in place like a fool, despite myself.
Dad finally takes notice of me and then his eyes go to the door entrance where I assume Luke is standing. It all feels so far away and out of my reach. It's been years since mum was hit this badly. Years since we had to go to the hospital.
I realise with growing dread that I'm going to have to take her there again because my father sure as hell won't.
"She tripped and fell. Hit her mouth on the table." Dad berates angrily, as if blaming my mother for falling.
If only I hadn't left the house. If only I hadn't aimed that knife at him. These regrets circulate in my mind, rendering me useless. I want to take a step forward but fear keeps me rooted in place, my entire body shaking so hard I feel my teeth chatter.
Luke walks past me, bending over to inspect my limp mother. I suck in a breath as a new paralysing fear jolts me, wondering if my mother is alive.
That propels me forward and I rush to her side, glaring at my father in the process. "Leave it to us."
I say it with so much venom that he stutters. He always grows small after she's been hurt too badly, like the realisation that he went too far only registers then. He usually backs away when I take over, leaving me to tend to mother or get her to the hospital but I think today he leaves because there's someone else around.
He's staring at him with wide eyes when he retreats.
"It was an accident," Dad justifies with an air of innocence, only boiling my blood further.
I ignore him and turn my mother over, she groans softly filling me with relief. She's alive.
"I need to take her to the hospital. Could you call us a cab?" I'm too embarrassed to turn to look at Luke. The last thing I want is for someone at college to see how volatile my household can be, least of all him.
I curse my luck at bumping into him at the mart but I can't pretend that he's not here.
"I'll drive. It'll be faster. Give me five minutes." He gets up and I hear the jangling of keys as he fishes around in his pocket. I still don't have the nerve to look at him.
"It's fine. We'll go ourselves." I say between clenched teeth. This is my problem, not his.
"Danielle." His voice is so jarringly soothing it brings tears to my eyes. "Just stay put. I'll be back in five."
I don't get to refute as he jogs out of the flat quickly. I study my mother's face and notice that most of the blood is coming from her mouth.
"Mum," My voice breaks as I lift her lip, inspecting the laceration under her upper lip and the broken front tooth. I rush to get the first aid, dabbing the gauze with some antiseptic and wiping her face, clearing off all the dried blood.
"Danielle," Her eyes flutter incoherently and she lies against my arm, which has started to ache under her weight. "I fell. It wasn't his fault."
She mumbles softly and I close my eyes, trying to shut out my frustrations. This is why this has been going on for years and no one has been able to intervene. Because she never holds him responsible. No matter how much I try to get her to tell the authorities she always defends him, always prioritising her duty as a wife over her own safety.
I ignore her and stuff some gauze on the wound in her mouth to put some pressure on the bleeding. I then pick up the broken tooth fragment lying on the floor and wrap it in some gauze as well, having no idea what to do with it.
"Why did you bring that fellow here? You just had to make me lose face in front of that foot baller, didn't you?" Dad suddenly marches out, his face scrunched up in annoyance. The lines around his eyes seem to have multiplied in the last hour.
I ignore him and haul my mother up.
"Now how am I going to get funds from your friends when you're embarrassing me like this?" He complains and I stop moving. I stare at him and he freezes. It must be the murderous expression on my face or the fact that mum can hardly stand by herself, her head lolling to the side over my shoulder making him stay put.
He stays where he is, an invisible barrier between us. I finally turn away, dragging my mother with me past the living room and down the stairs. Thankfully, she's regained some consciousness, it makes it easier to limp down the stairs slowly.
Luke arrives just in time for us to get in the car. He jumps out of his Toyota and runs up to help me get my mum into the backseat. She groans loudly, only half registering that there is a stranger here helping us.
"Daltech hospital?" Luke asks, securing his seatbelt and then my own, because I can't seem to operate normally at the moment.
I turn away at his proximity, half of me pretending that he's not here and he's not seeing what a mess my life is. It's done now, after today Luke will never look at me the same. I might as well be a defected item in his eyes considering he comes from such a perfect family, such a perfect life.
I chew my fingernails and stare out of the window, watching as he drives out of our suburb and heads to the city. Daltech hospital is not that far and the nurses here know my mother, they'd know what to do as soon as they see her.
Sure enough, Claudia, a nurse from the trauma ward spots us while we're at the registration counter. She catches my mother hanging over a weather beaten plastic chair and rushes over to her.
"Here," I place the tissue covered broken tooth in her gloved palm and she shakes her head.
"It's been two years. I thought he had stopped," She murmurs to me softly, disappointment clear on her face. Claudia is Filipino, married to a local and she gets along well with my mother who works in the emergency department. They have a small South East Asian committee among the nurses here and they often have small get togethers after work.
These women know what my mother is going through but because she never wants to report abuse, the cases always get dismissed. I've never wanted to interfere with her decisions but today I'm tempted to make the report myself.
But how would that work if she denied all my allegations?
Claudia and I help my mother into a wheel chair and Luke secures her feet. I notice Claudia watching him and then she casts me a knowing look which makes me turn away.
He's not my boyfriend, if that's what she thinks.
She whisks mother away to get the needed treatment in the emergency ward. Since her wound is localised and her airway is not threatened, they'd probably place her in the middle zone. A doctor or nurse would stitch up the wound, a social service worker would ask some questions and then we'd be all set to go home.
They'd probably refer us to a dentist first because of the tooth.
I bite down on my lip, hating the fact that I know this routine by heart. The door closes in front of us and I have no choice but to wait in the common area. I've always hated this part but this time it's worse. This time I'm not alone.
"You want some coffee? Or something else to drink?" Luke asks me tentatively and I finally turn to look at him. He's staring at me with so much concern and I just hate it so much.
I hate being so vulnerable. I hate that he saw me like this.
Tears fill my eyes and I walk away abruptly, wanting to put some distance between us.
"Hey, hey. Wait up. Okay, no coffee then." He blabbers, falling in stride with me quickly because of his ridiculously long and lean legs.
We reach a door that has the 'exit' sign hovering over it and I pull open the door and walk into the stairwell. I lean against the wall, trying to catch my breath when he comes to stand in front of me.
"You can leave now. You helped us get here and now we don't need you." I say in a clipped tone, staring at his black shirt as I avoid eye contact.
"I can't just leave like this." He puts up his hands in protest. "And I have no where else I'd rather be right now."
"Please," A loud sob threatens to choke me and I press my palms against my eyes hard. "Please just leave."
"Danielle," His voice is so soft, it breaks something within me and soon I find myself trying to push him away. He stands his ground so well he might as well be a wall.
I push and then I punch but my hits are so soft and weak, he doesnt move an inch. I beat against his chest, whilst he just stands there taking it. I hit him weakly as tears roll down my cheeks.
"You shouldn't have been there. You shouldn't have seen this. I hate you, Luke Bradshaw. I hate you so much."
I don't know when my hitting morphed into hugging but soon my cheek is plastered against his rock hard chest, I can feel his heart beating under my skin along with the steady rise and fall of his chest.
It feels like I just took a pill of valium, the effect instantly calming.
"It's alright. I'm here, take it out on me." He's stroking my back and I hate it so much but I also can't seem to let go. I inhale deeply, taking in the scent of him, my arms wrapping around his body so tight like I'm hanging on for my life.
"I'm glad I was there. Glad I could help you. I care for you, Danielle. No matter how hard I try not to, I do. So let me be here in any way I can." He murmurs against my hair, his voice slowing my heart rate.
"I don't understand how anyone could care for someone like me." I say after a few seconds. "You're too good for me."
"I probably am," Luke nudges me teasingly and I smile against him. "And I'm not trying to get in the way of you and Zander. Just let me be here with you today."
The mention of Zander turns my mouth sour. I lean back and we look at each other. Luke's still as beautiful as ever, even under this dim white lighting. My face feels sticky with dried tears, I realise I must look like a mess and suddenly feel extremely self conscious.
I use my sleeve to wipe my eyes and look away sheepishly. "I guess we should go look for that coffee while we wait."
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