Where did I go wrong?

Maybe I shouldn't have dragged it on for so long. Maybe I should have said yes when Zander asked me out again the day after the party. It's been a week and I haven't heard from him aside from that initial text.

My frown deepens and I knead the skin on my forehead, feeling a headache threatening to form. I haven't had any coffee today, apparently too much caffeine is bad for you or so I've heard. It's all the health bloggers have been talking about recently.

All I know is my mood has been shit the entire coffee-less day and now it's worse after looking at one of the updated Zander forums.

I'm tempted to dash to the kitchen and make myself a cup but that would warrant another run in with my father. My hand instinctively clutches the throbbing skin under my left breast, my sore ribs can't take another punch.

I can hear my parents shouting through the walls, my father's voice reverberating through the thin layer of stucco, sending shivers down my spine. Mum's braver than usual today, she actually told him off for taking money out of our petty cash used for food and using it to buy liquor.

They haven't stopped fighting since lunch and I know it's only a matter of time before he hits her again. He slapped her before when I had 'accidentally' walked in on them and then he punched me for interrupting him. My brief interruption had made him stop hitting her but now they're arguing again.

I know mum will kill me if I try to intervene again so I just sit here and listen. My laptop is perched on my mattress facing me, I stare at the screen and then hear a loud thump from beyond the wall.

I flinch, goosebumps running along my arms making the hairs stand. The door slams shut and I quickly rush outside to check on her.

I turn the doorknob but it's locked from the inside.

"Mum, you okay?" I ask the question that I seem to ask every time we speak.

There's a muffled sound from the other side and and a quick 'yes'. She makes no move to unlock the door, making me wonder how bad it is.

I jiggle the doorknob in frustration only to be met with silence. I lean my forehead against the door and swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

"I'm so sorry, ma." I whisper, feeling so powerless. So completely useless.

I climb back into bed and stare at the forum thread filling the computer screen. Zander's dating someone new and she's not the red head from the party. Neither is she Danielle Nio.

She's a freshman majoring in English Literature and a sub in Great Books. I don't have to do any research to find out who she is, the fans on this site have done all the work. She's a tall pretty brunette who wears thick framed glasses and has wavy hair that falls to her waist.

I sigh and put my head in my hands, realising my cheeks are wet. I feel like such a failure.

I push the laptop away and lie on my back, facing the blank ceiling above me. Elizabeth's ceiling is plastered with posters of Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers. Stacy's and Daphne's dorm room has pictures of abstract art and the zodiac on their walls.

Mine has always been empty. I used to grow up staring at the empty ceiling, imagining it as a vast sea of nothingness, something I could lose myself into.

Now it just looks bare and characterless.

My archived 'revenge' chat group with Stacy and Daphne has been blowing up with messages and I finally read through them.

Looks like the girls are aware about the latest updates as well. I readjust myself so that they can't see the rest of the room and start a video call.

Daphne and Stacy answer within seconds. Stacy's lounging in the sitting room at her sister's house. I recognise the wooden furniture and colourful drapes that look like Indian sarees. Daphne's in her room back at home.

Most of us are staying off campus for the long weekend. If I had a choice I would stay at the dorms throughout the holidays but the thought of abandoning my mother on her off days leaves me with cold sweats.

"Don't be down, Danielle. We tried our best. For what it's worth I think he's just settling, he was very clearly interested last week at the party." Daphne says before picking up a tub of ice cream and digging her spoon into it.

"Yeah, he really isn't the type to chase after a girl. It's usually the other way around." Stacy adds.

I run a hand through my hair and nod slowly. "I know. I really thought I had him for a second. Guess my ten steps are a premature bust."

"What was the third step?" Stacy asks and then shrugs her bony shoulders. "For curiosity's sake."

Might as well tell them since it's stopping here. "To make him think I'm wanted, desired by many. You know what they say, men always want what other's have, the chase etc. But evidently this doesn't apply to Zander."

Stacy chews on her index finger nail, a tell tale sign that the wheels in her head are turning. "You know we could still achieve that, right?"

Both Daphne and I focus on the small square with her face in it.

"What?" Daphne asks in confusion but Stacy's attention is focused elsewhere. I can see her typing furiously on her computer.

"What makes Zander such a hot topic on campus?" She asks us after a few seconds.

"He's rich, a footballer and good looking." Daphne lists and I scowl because she's couldn't be more accurate.

"No," Stacy says, surprising us both. She keeps us waiting in suspense until Daphne groans.

"Will you tell us already!" Daphne exclaims angrily.

Stacy's smiling when she answers. "He's popular because people talk about him. You were popular when you told him off on campus, remember? And then the talk died down. These forum threads keep updating because people keep talking about him. Get what I mean?"

"Okay," I say, scratching my head. My caffeine lacking brain can't seem to keep up with her.

"Check out the latest forum thread I created." Stacy says animatedly.

I flip open to the off campus sites created by students and refresh to view the latest posts. My eyebrows raise in alarm when I catch a picture of me in Daltech's cheerleader outfit. My gaze is elsewhere and I'm holding the pom poms by my side, my body twisted in a way that makes my waist look tiny.

The title of the thread reads "Saw this hottie on the field last Thursday. Please tell me who she is so I can take her out on a date."

I choke on a bout of laughter. Trust my crazy friends to distract me from my misery. "Stacy! This is ridiculous."

Her username has been changed to Chad and my mouth falls open when I see a few replies to the post. It's barely been five minutes, Daltech students must be super bored at home.

She's hot. I'd like to take her out too.

Sry bro, she's mine.

I think she's from Econ 101. Not sure though.

Who is she?

"This is ridiculous! Please remove it." I say, embarrassment creeping up my neck.

"So what if he's dating someone new. Let's just complete these ten steps of yours anyway." Stacy flips her wild hair over her bare shoulders and smiles at me evilly.

"Why?" Both Daphne and I ask in unison.

"Because it's fun and entertaining and I'm bored, okay. I'm leaving this thread active for the weekend. Deal with it, Danielle."

"You're crazy," I murmur even though a part of me is grateful that she hasn't given up even though I have.

"Who knows, maybe Zander will read the thread and realise what he's missing. Okay, my sister needs help in the kitchen. Talk later girls." Stacy leaves the chat and both Daphne and I look at each other.

"Stacy does what Stacy does." Daphne shrugs, smiling. "You should read the other comments."

We read and laugh at the thirsty thread for a while before Daphne has to leave as well. The house is quiet, I realise my dad isn't back yet. It must be evening already and there isn't anything for dinner.

I'm too afraid to go outside and cook something so I decide to head out and get some Chinese take away.

The sun has begun to set and the cool evening air is a welcome change to the dank stagnant atmosphere in my house. I head towards the park, walking past joggers and parents with their toddlers as I head to Elizabeth's side of town.

There's a nice row of restaurants just past her housing area and I stare at Elizabeth's empty house as I walk past the lighted up porch. The Warner's always spend their long weekends with Elizabeth's mother's sisters up in Long Island.

We've barely spent anytime together since Liz took a semester off to nurse her broken heart.

"Danielle?" I catch Luke standing outside on the sidewalk with a few of his friends. He's holding a glass in one hand and I notice his porch is crowded with guests.

"Luke. Hey." I wave at him awkwardly, wishing I had walked on the opposite side of the road instead. I'd completely forgotten that he stayed a few doors away from Liz.

He walks over to me and I try to ignore his friend's lingering stares.

"What are you doing out here so late? It's almost dinner."

"I'm just about to get take away from Uncle Jang's." I point to the far end of the suburb, where the shop lots are hiding just beyond the horizon.

"That's a pretty long walk. Not exactly safe at this time of day." He states.

"Bro, where are you? We're just getting started with the toasts." My body stiffens when Zander walks past the crowd on the porch and onto the sidewalk.

Luke shifts to the side and only then does he notice me.

"Danielle," He exclaims, eyes wide with disbelief.

"What's happening? Why is everyone outside? We're about to start." A middle aged woman in a deep pink off shoulder satin blouse and white pants, walks outside and catches sight of Luke and Zander. "There you are."

"Mum, this is Danielle from Daltech." Luke introduces me and I plaster a polite smile on my face, wondering how this walk for take away has become so eventful.

"Hello Mrs Evans."

She beams at me and steps forward to take my hand in hers. "Danielle, it's a pleasure. It's always nice to meet Luke's friends. Please join us, there's plenty of food to go around on Memorial Day."

"Grandfather served in the armed forces." Luke explains. "We honour him every year on this day."

I gulp and nod. That's nice but also rather intimate. The last thing I want is to intrude on such an event.

"I would love to but my parents are expecting me home with take away." I lie and point to the direction of the shops.

"Nonsense. No one leaves our home empty handed. Grandpa would turn in his grave if he found out." Mrs Bradshaw admonishes and pulls me inside with her, leaving little room for discussion. "I'll pack some food for your parents as well dear."

I want to point out that I'm not even a guest here, only someone bypassing but something tells me Luke's mother won't take no for an answer.

I mouth the word 'help' to Luke but he simply smiles at me and winks, leaving me at the mercy of his mother.