Chapter Twenty-Four

Dustin is pacing through the back of Scoops Ahoy after exploring the rooftop one more time. Robin, Steve, and I are sitting at the table.

"The keycard opens the door, but unfortunately, the Russians with this keycard also have a massive gun." Dustin began to explain to us what he saw. "Whatever's in this room, whatever's in those boxes, they really don't want anybody finding it."

"But there's gotta be a way in," Robin tells us.

"Well, you know... I could just take him out." Steve says, causing all of us to stop and look at him.

"Take who out?" Robin raised an eyebrow.

"The Russian Guard," Steve says seriously.

Now I'm sceptical. "Steve, the only takeout you'll be doing is a date," I respond. "Even then, you're straight as hell."

"What?" Steve rolled his eyes. "I sneak up behind him, I knock him out, and I take his keycard. It's easy."

"Did you not hear the part about the massive gun?" Dustin exclaimed.

"Yes, Dustin, I did." Steve retorts back. "And that's why I would be sneaking."

"Ah. Well, please, tell me this." Dustin looked at Steve seriously. "And be honest, when have you ever actually... Won a fight?"

"Okay, that was one time—"

"Twice." I cut in, holding up two fingers. "Jonathan. Year prior?"

Steve gives me a disapproving look. "Listen, that doesn't count."

"Why wouldn't it?" I asked. "Because it looked like he beat the shit out of you. You had a black eye, Steve."

"It was—"

"You got a fat lip, crooked nose, swollen eye, a lot of blood... Things that all add up to being beaten up in a fight." I began to argue with Steve.

"That's not what happened—"

"That is so what happened!" I exclaimed back. "I even hit you."

"Ooh!" Dustin cringed and Steve gives him a look. "What? She was there, I believe her."

"Thank you, Dustin." I gestured towards Dustin. "Steve, admit it, you aren't capable of a fight, and that is completely okay—"

"I am so!" Steve looked rilled up, looking at me in disbelief.

"That might just work," Robin says, catching all of us off guard. She enters the countertop of the. She grabs a fist full of cash from the tip jar. Steve and I watched from the sliding windows.

"Robin!" Steve exclaimed. Robin heads for the busy mall and Steve runs out the door. "Hey, Robin, what are you doing?"

"I need cash." Robin turns to Steve.

"Well, half of that is mine," Steve complained. "Where are you going?"

"To find us a way into that room." Robin began to back away. "A safe way. And, in the meantime, sling ice cream, behave, and don't get beat up. I'll be back in a jiff."

Dustin licks an Icecream scoop and Steve takes it away. "Oh, dude. Come on, not my scooper."

Steve twirls the scoop around his finger like an old-timey Western Gunslighter before slipping it into his scooper holster.

︾ 

Robin came back 20 minutes later, with Blueprints of the Starcourt Mall. She spreads it on the table, Steve, Dustin and I surrounding her.

"It is fascinating what 20 bucks will get you at the County Recorder's office. Starcourt mall." Robin tells us and I grinned. "The complete blueprints."

"Not bad." Dustin smiled.

"So, this is us, Scoops." Robin began to explain. "And this is where we need to get."

"I mean, I don't really see a way in," Steve claims.

"There's not," Robin agreed. "If you're talking exclusively about doors."

"Air ducts." Dustin and I caught on.

"Exactly." Robin nods. "Turns out, this secret room needs air like any old room." With a red marker, she draws a line from Scoops to the secret room. "And these air ducts lead all the way... Here."

Robin, Steve, Dustin and I glanced over to the air ducts above the wall. Steve now removes the grate cover and peers into the narrow duct. "Flashlight?" Steve requested and Dustin hands him the flashlight. Steve's standing on a ladder. "Thank you." He turns the lights on and shines them down the air ducts. "Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know if you can fit in here. It's, like... super tight."

"I'll fit." Dustin insisted. "Trust me. No collar bones, remember?"

Steve comes down the ladder. "Excuse me?" Robin asked, looking at Dustin.

Dustin goes up the ladder. "Oh, he's uh... Yeah, he's got some disease." Steve began to explain. "It's crydo, um... Something. Yeah, I dunno. He's missing bones and stuff. He can bend like Gumbo."

"You mean Gumby." I corrected Steve who turns to me.

"I'm pretty sure it's Gumbo." Steve rolled his eyes.

"She's right, it's Gumby." Robin backs me up and I gestured toward her.

"No, it's Gu—"

"Steve, shut up and push me!" Dustin yelled, cutting our argument off.

"Okay, I'll push ya," Steve says as Dustin's bottom half sticks out the opening of the air ducts. Steve awkwardly pushes on his feet.

"Not my feet, dumbass." Dustin huffs. "Push my ass."

"What?" Steve bewilders.

"Touch my butt!" Dustin exclaimed. "I don't care!" Steve softly pushes against Dustin's butt and I snickered a little. "Come on! Harder! Push harder!"

"I'm pushing!" Steve yelled back.

"You're playing with my legs," Dustin whined. Robin and I were enjoying this too much.

"I'm not playing," Steve snapped back. "I have terrible footing."

"Come on!" Dustin screamed.

"I'm gonna just shove you, ready?" Steve tells him.

"Just shove me?!"

"One... Two..." Steve counts before shoving, and Dustin doesn't budge.

"Shit." Dustin hisses. I turned around hearing the annoying voice of Erica Sinclair at the counter, pressing the bell a few too many times.

"Ahoy, sailors! All hands on deck! Come on!" I looked at Erica thoughtfully. "Get over here and serve me some samples."

"That just might work." I nodded before looking at Robin who had the same idea as me. I had dragged Erica into the back room and explained my idea to the others, they agreed and Erica is now peering down the air ducts with a flashlight. She looked sceptical about this half-baked plan of ours.

"Yeah, I don't know," Erica says to us.

Robin, Steve, Dustin, and I are leaning against the counter waiting for Erica's decision. "You don't know if you can fit?" Dustin asked.

"Oh, I can fit," Erica claims. "I just don't know if I want to."

"Are you claustrophobic?" Robin asked.

Erica turned to us. "I don't have phobias."

"Okay, well, what's the problem?" Steve questioned her.

"The problem is, I still haven't heard what's in this for Erica." Erica eyes us and I rolled my eyes.

Now, seated in a booth, Steve slides a massive banana boat ice cream over to Erica. She's surrounded by ice cream treats. Dustin, Robin, and I looked at Erica.

Erica pushes back the boat. "More fudge, please. Go on."

Shifting a frustrated look, Steve does as he was ordered. Robin holds up the blueprints. "You see this." She begun. "This is the route you're gonna take. Then we wait till the last delivery goes out tonight. Then you knock out the grate, jump down, open the door."

"Then you find out what's in those boxes?" Erica finished.

"Exactly." Robin smiled.

"Mm-hmm." Erica sassily responds. "And you say this guard is armed."

"Yes, but he won't be there," Dustin tells her.

"And booby traps?" Erica asked, looking at all three of us.

"Bobby traps?" Robin and I replied in sync.

"Lasers, spikes in the wall?" Erica spoke in a duh tone.

"What?" Robin says in disbelief.

"You know what this half-baked plan of yours sounds like to me?" Erica asked. "Child endangerment."

"We'll be in radio contact with you the entire time—"

She waves her finger in the air at me. "Ah, ah, ah! Child endangerment!"

"Erica?" Dustin caught her attention. "Hi. Uh... We think these Russians want to do harm to our country. Great harm. Don't you love your country?"

"You can't spell America without Erica." She ironically says.

Dustin looked thoughtfully for a second. "Uh, yeah, yeah. Oddly, that's, uh, totally true. So, so... Don't do this for us. Do it for your country. Do it for your fellow man. Do this for America... Erica."

"Oooh! I just got the chills." Erica smiled. "Oh, yeah, from this float, not your speech." She turns to Robin and I. "You know what I love most about this country? Capitalism. Do you know what capitalism means?"

"Yeah." Dustin, Robin, and I speak in sync.

"It means." Erica began. "This is a free market system. Which means people get paid for their services, depending on how valuable their contributions are. And it seems to me, my ability to fit into that tiny little vent is very, very valuable to you all. So, you want my help? This USS Butterscotch better be the first of many. And I'm talking free ice cream for life."

︾ 

Dustin, Robin, Steve, and I are all surveilling the loading dock using the binoculars on the roof. "Erica, do you copy?" Erica was in the back of the Scoops Ahoy, preparing to go on our mission.

"Mhm. I copy." Erica responded, using the other walkie-talkie we had given her. "You nerds ready for position?"

"Yeah, we're in position," I responded back.

"It's all quiet here, so you've got the green light," Robin replied back, after taking the walkie-talkie from me.

"Greenlight," Erica says. "Rodger that. Commence Operation Child Endangerment."

"Can we maybe not call it that?" Robin asked, annoyed.

"See you on the other side." And with that, we were radio silenced for a while. It was probably ten minutes later, and Erica responds. "All right, nerds. I'm there."

"Do you—Do you see anything?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, I see those boring boxes you're so excited about." Erica sarcastically says.

"Any guards?" I asked, snatching the walkie-talkie from Robin.

"Negative."

"Booby traps?" Robin takes the walkie-talkie from me.

"If I could see them, they'd be pretty shit traps, wouldn't they?" Erica sassily responds and I rolled my eyes.

"Thank you for that," Robin replied. 

"I'm in," Erica says a few minutes later.

"Oh, God." Steve sighed with relief and we give each other a look. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me.

The set of doors open, and Erica walks out. She looks up to the roof where Robin, Steve, Dustin, and I are. "Free ice cream. For. Life."

︾ 

We all made it to the secret room, the door closing behind us. I looked around, amazed at all the boxes that were packed in this tiny little room.

Using a box cutter, Steve opens one of the Imperial Panda boxes. Inside is a large metal case. Steve turns on the lid. Air hisses from it. He lifts off the lid and vapours drifts out of the case, which holds identical cylinders.

"That's definitely not Chinese food," Steve informed us.

I rolled my eyes. "No shit, sherlock."

He starts to reach inside but stops. He glanced at the others, before setting his eyes on me. "Uh, maybe you guys should, know you, stand back," Steve tells us, that Robin and Erica do not hesitation to do so.

"No," Dustin replied strongly, and I had to agree with him.

"Just—Just step back, okay," Steve tells us. "Juno, step back." He forcefully moved me over to the girls as I whined.

"Steve!" I complained.

"No." He tells me sternly. "I'm not letting you die. Now, Dustin, you too, buddy. Let's go."

"No! You die, I die," Dustin exclaimed.

Steve and Dustin stare at each other. "Okay." He says in a whatever tone, and I crossed my arms in disbelief.

Steve reaches in and pulls out one of the cylinders by its handle. He holds it up, revealing a tube of shifting particles within a green substance. It looked like radioactive fuel to me.

"What the hell?" Steve asked, amazed.

"What is that?" Robin whispered.

Just then, the room shakes. "Was that just me, or did the room move?" Dustin asked the group and my eyes were wide.

"Definitely not just you," I replied back with a panicked tone.

"Booby traps," Erica whispered.

"You know what, let's just grab that and go." Robin takes the cylinder from Steve's hands. Dustin walked over to the button panel beside the steel doors and pressed open.

Nothing happens. "Which one do I press, Erica?" Dustin asked desperately.

"Just press the button, nerd." Erica sassed back.

"Which one?" Dustin exclaims. "I'm pressing the button, okay?"

"Press open door." Erica's hands gesture toward the obvious button.

"I am pressing open door." Dustin mocked back and we all began to argue.

"Just open the—press the other button," Steve suggested.

"Out of the way so she can press the button—"

"Would you stop?"

"Would you just let me do it?"

I stand behind all of them as they crowded around the panel of buttons. "Just open the door!" I yelled, frustrated.

Steve hits a different button this time, a vertical door closes over one of the walls causing me to freeze. The room began to shake. I noticed the lights outside of the room passing rapidly, it's an elevator going down, and it was going down rapidly.

We're all screaming.