Weeks passed.  Months.  Each day that passed was a torture they couldn't stop or even lessen.  Kate had become a shell of her former self, sick with worry about her little daughter.

Madeline's birthday came around.  Today she was five.  Somewhere, she was five.  Kate wondered if Jason realized the significance of the date.  It would be the first time he was with her for her birthday, and the first time Kate wouldn't be with her.  Throughout the day, Kate seemed to get lost in her thoughts, staring off into oblivion.  Lin tried to keep her distracted, though there really wasn't a way to make a mother not think about her lost child on her birthday.

"Hey," Lin said softly as he sat next to Kate on the couch.  He gently ran his hand up and down her back, watching her closely.  It seemed much of their interactions these days were just trying to keep her together emotionally.  She leaned on him heavily, and she realized that.  To some, it may have been too much, but Lin was committed to Kate.  He was thankful they had Rio, who brought a lot of joy into their lives.  Without Rio, Kate would be way worse, if that was possible.

"Hey," she responded blankly.  Kate was a mess and she knew it.  She didn't bother washing her hair often or putting on makeup.  What was the point?  What was the point of even getting out of bed?

"Your parents are coming over around noon," he reminded her.  "I can go to the store and pick up some munchies.  Want me to get you anything?"

"No," she said simply, flatly.  Lin squeezed her shoulder and kissed her cheek.  He didn't know what to say to Kate.  There was nothing he could say to make it better.

When her parents came over, Kate spent almost the whole time in her bedroom, curled up.  Her mother joined her, just holding her daughter.  Lin tried to keep up conversation with her dad out on the couch.  Like any other time they had people over, which was rare, they didn't stay for long.

The next day, Kate called in sick to work.  That had been happening a lot lately.  It broke Lin's heart to see her spiral downhill.  She was at the point she was starting to give up, and Lin wasn't going to let that happen.  He'd been caring and understanding, but it seemed like she needed a push.  She couldn't go on like this.

Kate was curled up in their bed, greasy hair tied up in a messy bun.  Lin stopped in the door after he'd had a silent breakfast, leaning against it.

"Kate," he began, tucking his hands in his pockets.  She grunted slightly in response.  "How many sick days do you have left?"

"None," she told him.  In fact, she'd taken more than her allotted share, so the days she missed she wasn't getting paid for.

"Sweetheart, what are you gaining by staying in bed all day doing nothing?  You can't keep doing this."

"I don't care," she said honestly.

"Well I do," he said.  "I can't watch you go on like this."

She didn't respond.  Kate had been feeling incredibly guilty on top of her sorrow.  Lin was standing by her side, and what was he getting in return?  His girlfriend was a depressed, underweight drag just slowing him down.  He was full of life and she was sucking the life out of him.  Kate knew she wasn't the woman he fell in love with.

Lin sighed and walked over to the bed.  He pulled the covers off her and then moved her legs off the side of the bed.

"Come on," he urged her, gripping her forearms.  "Get up."

"I don't want to," she protested groggily.

"You need to," he insisted, pulling her up to standing.

"Lin-" she tried to avoid him.

"No, you cannot continue to do this," he said, pulling her away from the bed, guiding her over to the wall where she couldn't escape and she had to listen to him.  "You think Maddie would want you living like this?  Like a zombie?  You think Rio wants a mother who just wants to lay around instead of take him to the park?"

Kate pushed him, and he took a step back.  "Don't you dare talk about my kids!  You don't know what it's like to not be able to hug your child?"

Lin's eyes narrowed.  "You think just because I'm not her biological dad that I don't feel grief?" He was raising his voice.  "I feel like part of me is missing!"

"You didn't carry her in your body!  Feel her kick you!" she protested, stepping forward with fire in her eyes.

"That doesn't mean I don't love her with all my being!" he shouted.  "That doesn't mean I don't miss her like hell!"

In the next room, Rio began to cry.  Kate pushed past him and went to her son's bedroom.  He stood up in his crib, crying hard.  She scooped him up and started crying as she started to bounce him up and down a bit.  Lin sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands.  He felt like he couldn't say or do anything right.  He knew she needed love and patience, but she also kind of needed a kick in the pants.

Kate continued to cry as she set Rio on the changing table and began to change his diaper.  Rio was slowly getting himself calmed down as his mother struggled.  Lin walked by and stopped in the door again, watching Kate.  Her shoulders were tensed as she mindlessly changed Rio.  From behind, she just looked defeated.  Lost without a compass.

Sighing, he quietly walked up behind her and put his hands on her hips.  He pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder.  Lin felt guilty; he'd made her cry when she already spent so much time crying.

"I'm sorry, babe," he whispered, then wrapped his arms around her middle, hugging her gently.  Kate put a hand over his, rubbing gently.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," she told him.

"Anyone would be a mess," he assured her.  "But you can't give up.  You need to keep going.  For Maddie.  And Rio."

Kate picked up their son, balancing him on her hip.  Lin held out his hands to receive the baby.

"Why don't you go take a nice long shower," he suggested, and she handed Rio over.  "You'll feel better when you're clean.  And put on some real clothes instead of sweats."

She nodded and went back into their bedroom to find some clothes.  Kate pulled out a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt and bra.  She turned on the shower and the steam began to pour in.  Kate took her time in the shower, letting the hot water work its magic.  It did help, but the water could never completely erase the complete sorrow she felt.  After almost half an hour, she turned off the water and toweled herself dry.  She pulled her hair up into another towel and then got dressed.

Lin had a cup of tea waiting for her in the living room, along with some toast.  She didn't feel much like eating but she took some bites of the toast, knowing Lin was worried about her.  She'd lost fifteen pounds since Maddie had disappeared.

Lin got Rio taken care of.  He fed him breakfast, got him dressed and then set him up with some blocks on the floor.  Lin suggested they go for a walk outside.  Kate knew she needed to do something to get herself out of this rut, so she agreed.  After she'd dried her hair and gotten ready, they headed out with the stroller to walk around in the park.

Everywhere they went, Kate saw Maddie.  What would she be doing if she was here with them?  Swinging on the swing.  Screaming in glee as she went down the sky.  Chasing down Lin and tackling him to the ground.  Loving.

Kate was semi-engaged with Rio.  Lin gently prompted her at times, asking her to help with something or asking her a question.  He could see she was trying. 

Kate felt like if she was happy, if she was enjoying herself, she was giving up on finding Maddie.  If she was happy, that would mean she accepted this as her new reality, and she didn't want that.  She adored Lin and loved Rio with all her heart, but her life didn't feel right with Maddie.  Kate couldn't act like everything was perfect.

Kate realized her energy levels had been drained over the months.  She got tired easily.  After an hour at the park, she was yawning and feeling like she needed to lay down on the couch.  Lin sensed she needed a break, so they walked back home.  Little Rio fell asleep in his stroller on the way home.  Lin took him to his crib for a nap while Kate laid down on the couch.

In a few weeks, Maddie was supposed to be starting kindergarten.  At some elementary school, Jason would be taking her to her classroom on her first day of school, not her.  Was Maddie nervous?  Excited?  Did she realize something was wrong?  Did Maddie miss her?  What was Jason telling her?

Lin walked out and laid down with her.  Her half-heart smiled.

Mid-September.  Maddie had been gone for almost a year.  They'd been through a Halloween, a Thanksgiving, a Christmas, a birthday without her.  Automatically, she thought about what she'd been doing on that date last year.  They'd taken a trip to the apple tree farm around this time last year.  Maddie lugged around a basket way too heavy for her, refusing help.  She was very proud of the apples she'd picked.

The phone rang, snapping Kate out of her daydream.  The caller ID said NYPD.  Her heart started pounding, not wanting if she wanted to pick up or not.  Was it good or bad?  After three rings, she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Is this Kate?" the officer on the other end asked.

"Yes," she replied, feeling the blood pounding in her ears.

"Ma'am, we think we may have found your daughter," she reported.

Kate's heart leapt.  "Lin!!" she screamed.  "Where is she?" she asked the officer.

"The police in Philadelphia have her at a station in the city.  We're sending over pictures now.  They're telling the officers her name is Madison."

Lin was by her side.  She gripped his shirt.  "They think they found Maddie," she whispered.  Lin leaned in, trying to hear the conversation on the phone.  Kate had the wherewithal to put it on speaker phone.

"How is she?  Is she okay?"

"They didn't say she looked to be in any distress," the officer said.  "Her name popped up when her father enrolled her in school."

"Can we go pick her up?" Lin asked.

"We'd like an officer to take you there," he explained.  "We'd need confirmation she's with the right person."

"And where's her father?" Lin asked.

"He's been detained by the police," the officer said.  "He's been held under kidnapping charges."

Kate felt a wave of relief and hope wash over her.  Suddenly she was awake, and the other half of her heart started beating again.  "We'll be there in ten minutes."

"I'll call my mom," Lin said, pulling out his cell phone.  He knew she was free today and would love to watch Rio.  Within a few minutes, they had Rio in his car seat and were speeding over to Lin's parents.  Kate was grateful Lin was driving because her hands were shaking.  She could not calm down.

Lin noticed, reaching his hand over to clasp her hand.  He didn't say anything.  His own heart was pounding, hoping this wasn't a dream; this was actually happening.

If Kate or Lin had been driving, they probably would have made it to Philadelphia in half the time, but they were being driven.  Kate's heel kept bouncing up and down in nervousness.  How sure were they that this was Madeline?  How heartbreaking would it be if it didn't turn out to be her?

Finally, they arrived at the police station and Kate and Lin were escorted down the hall to a holding room.  One of the Philadelphia officers opened the door, and Kate let out a loud sob and fell to her knees.  It was her.  Her Maddie.

Lin helped her up and Madeline ran to her mother.

"Mommy!!" she exclaimed excitedly, wrapping her arms around her neck.  Kate sobbed uncontrollably as she held her daughter tightly to her.  She hadn't seen her in almost a year, like a limb was missing.

"Oh, baby," she managed to croak out.  "I've missed you so much."

Lin stood back so Kate could have her time with her daughter.  A minute or so later, Maddie noticed him and smiled.  He knelt down and opened his arms, and she gave him a big hug.

"Lin!!" she exclaimed.  Lin held her close, smelling in her hair.  It still smelled the same.  Like Maddie.  He didn't try to hold it together either.  Lin was crying, relieved that they finally had her back.

The room was actually a comfortable one - not one with hard seats and a cold floor.  There was a couch, where the three of them sat.  Kate pulled her daughter into her lap and couldn't stop touching her, hugging her.  She wasn't sure where to start.

"So what have you been up to?" she asked her daughter.  She didn't want to bash her father, even though she was incredibly angry with him.  He'd committed a crime, after all.

"I've been with Daddy," she said, playing with Kate's necklace.  "And he called me Madison."

"I heard that," Kate said gently.  "Do you want to be Maddie again?"

She nodded.  "Mommy, do I get to go home now?"

"Yes," Kate said, kissing her hair.  "We're gonna go back to New York, and you'll get to see Grandma and Rio.  Wait til you see Rio!  He's grown so much."

"Can he walk now?"

"He can," she said.  "He's been getting into everything."

Kate was pretty sure Rio would have no idea who his sister was, but he'd have no memory of her being gone.  He was almost one year old now. 

Lin took Maddie into his lap as an officer asked to speak with Kate privately.  They had some questions to ask regarding the kidnapping, and needed her contact information.  All in all, they were at the station for a couple of hours.  They asked Kate if she wanted to see her ex, and she declined.  It would just make her angry.  Right now, she wanted to focus on her daughter.

They got back in the car and Maddie sat in the middle.  She talked their ears off for about an hour, then fell asleep leaning against Kate.  Kate just watched her.  She could watch her for hours. When they got home, it was after 10:00.  Lin carefully picked the still sleeping Madeline up and carried her to her bed.  It had been empty for almost a year, but finally its occupant was back.  He gently pulled off her shoes, socks, and jeans, and pulled up the covers.

Both of them just stood in the doorway for a long while, watching her sleep.  It was still sinking in that she was finally home.  During the night, Kate got up multiple times to go check on Maddie, just to make sure she was still there.  She didn't want to bombard her with questions about what had been happening the last 11 months, but she needed to know she was still okay.

Maddie woke up first in the morning and climbed into Kate and Lin's bed, snuggling in between them.  The little family just stayed like that for a long while until Rio started crying.  Lin went to go get him, quickly changed him, and brought him back to bed to cuddle with the family.  Maddie was very happy to see him, and gave him lots of hugs and kisses.  Rio loved his big sister instantly.

They tried to go about their day as normal as possible.  Maddie had since outgrown most of the clothes in her wardrobe, so they went shopping at Target in the afternoon and bought plenty of new items.  They went to the park to play and went out to eat to celebrate.

After Rio had been put to bed around 7:30, they all sat down on the couch to talk, Maddie tucked between the two of them.

"So, Maddie we want to talk with you a bit," Kate began.  She and Lin had discussed how best to approach the subject.  They didn't want to bash Jason in front of her.  They just wanted her to know they were here to talk.  "I imagine you feel a little confused right now.  Daddy did something wrong when he took you away to Philadelphia."

"He kept sayin' he was gonna take me back to see you soon," Maddie said.

"Yes," Kate said.  "But you were gone for almost a whole year.  You're five now!  He shouldn't have taken you away, but I know you still love him very much.  Do you miss him?"

"A little," she said, playing with her lip.

"It's okay to miss him," Kate said.  "But you're not going to see him for a while."

"Is he going to jail?"

"Yes," Kate told her.  "He broke the law when he took you away."

"But I don't want him to be in jail," she said.

"I know," Kate said.  "But when grown ups do something against the law, they have to go to jail."

"Will I get to go see him?"

Kate looked at Lin and he decided to jump in. "Probably not for a while," he told her honestly.  They didn't want her exposed to a prison environment, at least not at this age.  Jason would likely be locked up for years.  However, they didn't want her to have to go years without seeing her father.  It was something they'd have to think about.

"So, now that you're back," Kate went on.  "We're going to enroll you in kindergarten.  Did Daddy talk to you about going to school?"

"Yeah," she said.  "He bought me a backpack and pencils and crayons."

"We'll have to go shopping for that," Kate agreed.  They also needed to figure out where to send her to school.  There were a lot of options in New York City.

"Can I get a Frozen backpack?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course," Kate said, kissing her head.  "For now, we're just glad you're home.  And we just want to hug you a lot."

She giggled and snuggled into her mother's side more.  The little family relaxed and watch some TV, just enjoying being together once again.