A/n: guy I just realized in the gif it looks like the necklace Taehyung gave him.

Jimin's POV

Its been a week since then.

Seven dreary days with no trace of him.

I feel like I can't function well.

His disappearing act left me cursed with stillness, and only when he makes a reappearance would I be cured.

My days living have turned into mindless simple task around his shadowed room; no direct sun touching me through his closed blinds.

It's so empty in here, no living life form except me barely breathing.

I remember the first day no one was really worried, though I had bad anxiety about it, we asked my dad where Taehyung was and he said he went for a walk; so considering that it was late at night we thought that he probably just fell asleep in our usual place.

But the second day my mum grew restless, and the third day we realized his clothes had vanished with him. It was that day we realised he was gone. And it was that day, that my life seemed to not be bright enough without him.

Now I lie on his bed, refusing to come out of his room. Its just been a cycle of dimmed lighting and swelling darkness in here, the sun chasing after the moon and vise versa.

I can't remember the last time I've eaten, and my lack of sleep is unhealthy, but I don't care. I don't feel the signs that my body should send me when I'm lacking nutrients, and even if I'm tired, my emotions keep me awake.

I just want him to come back, be by my side again, and the closes thing I have to that is his scent that's fading from his pillow and the necklace he gave to me when he asked for me to be his boyfriend with his connecting side attached. I prefer not to sleep.

If I closed my eyes like that night before he vanished, I fear that even the small things I have of his will also get swallowed by the cover of night.

I really can't be without him, because I realized that I depend on him for everything.

I've tried to act tough when he's around because his problems are way more complicated and mentally damaging than mine, but I'm afraid that doing that has made him feel useless.

And no matter how many times he told me that he felt that way, I wasn't able to speak my worries out loud to him. I didn't want to seem ungrateful and whiny, no matter how lonely I felt when he wasn't here. No matter how much my parents argued and left me to be alone.

I didn't want to complain about it. I didn't want to say that this life I'm living didn't feel like it was worth living anymore before we met.

But Taehyung is basically my life now, and if he doesn't show up soon, I'm not sure I can survive on my own.

Each day I wrote a message to him, my weak replacements of having conversations with him, and add it with a picture to recall on. To draw back to the good memories I should've cherished more, before his life got more fucked up than it already had been, and his presence was just simple entertainment and enjoyment for me.

Every sunrise to sunset has been a photo with a story behind it, and even though the days go on, it still feels like I'm living in the past. Time stops every moment he's not around me, close to me, hugging me, and things become dark like it always used to be.

He's showed me the light no matter how murky his life has been, and without him I'm drowning in that abyss again. I need him to be with me, and I feel so lifeless without him next to me.

I know I'm being stupid in some eyes, too young to feel so beaten down, so lost, but I can't help it. He's my happiness, my energy, what I look forward to everyday.

Kim Taehyung is my personal addiction; my own world.

His gaze, features, emotions, hair, body, words, touch, laugh, smile, and tears intoxicate my entire being that he's even becoming the oxygen I breathe.

I feel like nothing without him.

So alone like this I'm trapped with terrible thoughts. Thoughts of depression and anxiety, words that claw at my mentality every dark passing day.

Laying on his bed, I grab my head in almost pain; a painful feeling I get thinking about the reason. The reason that he's not by my side at the moment, that he's gone without a trace. My breathing is harsh and choppy, unable to get air through my windpipe with ease.

Because both of them are horrible situations, blood draining thoughts that could be reality. But no matter how frightening the first one is to think about, Im petrified for the other one to be true.

I bury my head in his pillow, hoping that his smell can soothe my anxiety attack, and though it calmed me down, I feel tears fighting to drain out the corner of my eyes. I hate thinking that.

That we have some robbery and he got taken against his will?

Or did he chose to leave me?

—-

A faded knock touches my eardrums, my eyes feeling heavy as they open. Laying limp on my side, I blink, and I can't tell if I fell asleep or I just blinked for a long time. My head throbs excruciatingly as I lay half awake, or half dead.

"Jimin?" I hear in the most familiar muffled voice on the other side of the door, but I don't answer. I don't feel to speak, words just seem too troubling to form. Going through this everyday is just like pressing repeat on a movie. Same thing with no different outcome. I know what she'll say.

"Please come eat."

The same words each day, and I'm growing tired of it. I don't have an appetite at the moment; I don't feel to eat, or sleep, or speak, or sometimes even to breathe.

What's the point of answering when I know it's not the answer she wants.

So I just don't move, I don't show any signs of a living life form, and just wish for her to do pass me on. Let me be in the dark, let me be alone.

But as sick and tired I feel, resonating sniffles tumble out from the other side of the wooden barrier, and that causes me to move. Getting up I walk to door, dreading every second of caring when I just wanted to not care.

"I'm not hungry mum." I tell her quietly through the door, keeping some distance between me and it. I didn't want to touch it.

"Open the door."

I stiffen at her order, gazing down at the door bundle in the dark haze. A gulp tortures my throat as it's full of anxiety, my hand hesitantly resting on the handle. I didn't want to touch the door, because I don't want to open it. Opening the door means that time is still flowing, and it's flowing without him here.

In here yeah I feel miserable, but some part of him still exists strongly in this room. I'm not sure if I want to face the world without him yet.

"Open the damn door."

The force she emits sends a shiver down my spine. Real hesitatingly I unlock the door, twisting the knob to only let a shrivel of light through. I know my voice is about to come out scrawny and weak, because I feel my throat tighten as I stare straight down at her feet.

"Mum I told you I'm not hungry. Please leave me alone." I mumble quickly to her, ready to just close this door. Before waiting for any response I turn and close the door behind me, but she grabs my forearm harshly.

"Stop this." She hisses at me as her gaze is so fixated on mine that is suffocating, being much scarier than if she was to yell. "Stop starving yourself because it isn't helping him to come back. Your just making you body worse Jimin, and it's not gonna help anyone if you die of starvation. So stop being a fool and come eat!"

I stare at her unsettled, shaken by her words. Without knowing what's happening I feel her embracing me, stroking my head in a soothing manner.

Don't cry Jimin," I feel the vibration in her her chest as she murmurs those words, a sob leaving my lips uncontrollably. I close my mouth in shock, these sudden tears streaming from my eyes out of nowhere. All the feeling abruptly hits me now, and I claw at the back of her shirt to ground me.

Its so frusturating.

Where did he go without a word. Where did he leave too.

"Mummy I miss him," I bawl, something in me crumbling. "Where is he?"

I feel her grip tighten, her heart probably hurting seeing me like this but I can't help it. " I know you miss him sweetie, I do too. We'll find him, but you have to eat to have enough energy to look okay?" Her voice is pained, so I bite my lip to stop the cries.

I'm hurting her by being like this.

So I nod my head to show that I understand, letting her lead me to the kitchen.

—-

It's been a few days since I've left his room for the first time in weeks. My appetite hasn't grown one bit, but I always force down at least one meal a day for my Mother's sake.

I don't want her to be worried like that again; because I've always known her as a strong person, when she almost cried because of me, that also struck a cord that I can't afford to kill off. Too many have ripped apart on me, that if it continued on I would've died from the pain.

Last night I couldn't sleep, just like the nights before. I can't seem to dream, and instead the only thing I do the whole night is stare at the back of my eyes. I can tell it's extremely early in the morning by the lack of light that sneaks past the blinds.

Sitting up in his bed, I ponder on going for a walk right now. Later today is going to be the time we go looking, and I haven't mentally prepared myself for it.

All the pessimistic thoughts spiral through my head when I get to that subject, and I always feel the anxiety creeping up on me. I can't stay in this room even if I was able too before, because I've opened myself to the world.

So hopefully a peaceful explore will ease me, like taking pictures of the nature around me. Nature itself never seems stressed, and that's the one reason I love but also envy it. It's always calm, so it never has to worry. But maybe if I admire it enough, I can also be one with it.

Grappling my camera and slipping on my shoes I head out the house. I stand by the front door for a few moments, wondering which way I should go, and decided to just go past the shed. But as I get closer I hear shuffle come from the inside.

Why was somebody up this early.

I dared to look inside, not sure of what I'll find. In my surprise I see my dad moving things around, and when I looked closer I realised he was packing things into boxes. Why was he doing that?

"Why are you packing away stuff?" he turned quickly at the sound of my voice, frozen in spot like I just caught him doing a bad deed. My eyes scan over his fuzzy expression then to the boxes, then back to his expression suspiciously. No words came from his mouth as a response to my question, and I drew cautious of that.

Something isn't right.

I think about the scene that's in front of me, and the moments that happened days before. When I heard Taehyung was gone I was shocked, because I know he said he'll always love me. I never expected him to leave me.

"Did Taehyung really go for a walk?"  I ask. Silence once again covers this scene.

He starts to come closer to me and I instinctively step back. I can see his face more clearer since he's further out in the light, but I can't tell the face he was making. Somethings not right.

I don't trust him.

"I'm gonna stay here tomorrow. In case Taehyung comes back." I say slowly, my voice becoming suppressed at the end as his gaze hardens. My gut was telling me not to go with them tomorrow.

"No, your coming," he says sternly, an aggressive feeling coming through his cool exterior. I feel that he knows that I know that something is wrong.

With my mouth sewed closed, I say nothing to his demand, no show that I agree with his decision. He gives me a look and with a harsh gaze he comes closer towards me once again.

"It's either him or the family, pick," he says in a calm voice once again, a chilling tone that sounded like a underlaid threat. He did something, and he knows I know.

"You can't make me choose that," I almost whisper out, my voice nearly gone with fear.

"Why, your family should always be first, so why can't you choose?"

I stay silent, quiet because of the spot I'm put in. It was like the tables had turned, and I was the prisoner getting questioned by the police who already knew what was up.

"Why!" I jolt as he roars it at me.

"Because I love him," I whisper out so tiny that it was on the rim of inaudible. My eyes were glued to his shoes, my heart beaten 1 million miles per hour. My hearing was picking up white noise by the long silence, and my vision started to blur from staring at the same scene for so long. This was it, though I never expected to do it now.

I came clean to my dad.

"You've really disappointed me,"

I hear this as clear as day, my heart feeling like it stopped. The white noise vanished, and my eye sight became clearer.

*Slap*

It hit me so suddenly, I was stuck in total shock.

"You're just being delusional," he scolds in a menacing tone, all the disgust wrapped in such a cold voice. "no son of mine will be like this do you understand me."

I stand there with my hand to the numb area of my face, my thoughts not processing everything correctly.

"Look at me!" He yells angrily, shaking me roughly as my eyes fly up to meet his. The looks he gave me hurt; I wanted to cry. I started to cry, because it was just like that night. That night before when he told me the same thing.

"Go pack your stuff we're leaving in the morning," he orders, and I stand there just shaking. His gaze lowers to my neck, and my hands fly up to my protect my necklace. Oh no.

"Wait where did you get that necklace?" he asked me before I could even move my feet to scurry away.

Does he know it's from Taehyung? I don't want him to take it away.

"I bought it for myself when mum took me shopping," I mumble out, my voice shaky from the sobs that were threatening to leave my throat.

He picks it up and scoffs, eyeing it with repulse. "You're even wearing girl jewellery now? Why don't you start wearing dresses for all I care. You already like another boy." I stand there and take the words, what else can I do.

He looks at me once more before letting the necklace go, walking back into the shed to continue his work.

" What's the point of having a son to take over my job if he's just gonna act like a girl." He mumbles, but makes sure that it was loud enough for me to hear.

And I heard.

—-

Morning comes around, and I drag myself out of his bed one last time. Writing my last note for him to read in the future, I grab my luggage and head to the car where my mum is already waiting.

"What happened to your face?!" She asks worriedly when she turns around to look at me. Stroking my cheek, she rubs over my swollen cheek, and though it hurt on some level , my body didn't wince in pain.

"I ran into the door," I lie, a white lie that slipped past my lips so smooth like it was my specialty.

"We need to get you some ice," She instantly replies, believing me. 

"He'll be fine." my dad adds as he gets in the car, and I feel myself physically stiffen. My eyes couldn't go to his but I felt his claw into me.

"But look how swollen it is it'll leave a bruise-"

"If something as small as that hurts him then he can't call himself a man." Silence takes over after this, and my mum looks at my dad in disbelief.

"What the hell-"

And the thunderous agrument begins, the same storm happening every single day. I want to block it out. So I stare out the window, to a place where I could run away too. A sigh left my lips.

Why do I feel like we're never coming back.