Chapter 110
When they were done, Peter offered to help Pepper with the dishes while they were all still talking.
Kasey nudged Matt softly. "Hey, I'm gonna wander around for a bit and see if I can burn off some of this energy so I'll actually sleep tonight."
Matt turned and nodded. "You want someone to come with you?" He asked, worried that some distortions might still stick around.
She hesitated for a moment before smiling reassuringly. "No. I'll be okay." She replied. She gave him a sideways hug. "Thank you though." She pulled away and headed down the hall.
Claire watched her go and looked at Matt. "You think she's okay?"
Matt listened to her leave before shrugging lightly. "I'm not sure. I can keep checking on her as long as she doesn't go too far, but something just seemed off."
Claire nodded. "Maybe go check on her in a bit?" She suggested. "She did seem a bit off..."
"I will. But I'll give her some time on her own first." Matt decided. Maybe she really was just working off some energy.
And she was! She was walking around the tower trying to work off some of that energy she had gotten from sleeping for so long.
At least, that's what it had been for. She found herself in the training room a few floors down, beating the shit out of a punching bag about half an hour or so later. Her heart raced as tears spilled down her face as she pounded into it, not having bothered to wrap her hands so her hands were getting torn up from the fabric.
Matt had begun searching for her, but didn't take long getting to her after hearing the abuse on the punching bag. He found his way to the elevator, glad to be free of prying eyes as he moved on his own. Once the elevator opened on the gym level, Matt stepped out and followed the sound of skin on leather.
She kept beating harder and harder into it, tears completely filling her eyes as she did. She was practically glowing with heat from the energy she was using and the anger coming off of her. She let out a frustrated cry as she spun and kicked the sandbag that weighed much more than she did hard enough to break the chain and slam it into the wall with a tear in it.
She stood there panting heavily, moving slowly over to the wall before pressing her back against it and sliding to the floor, her entire body trembling with every breath as she pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face into them.
Matt didn't say anything yet, listening to her woke her anger out on the punching bag. Once she had finished, he calmly walked over to her and mirrored her movement, sliding down against the wall to sit next to her.
"What'd that poor punching bag do to you?" Matt asked in a joking tone, but it was clear he was worried about how she was feeling. It seemed like something Foggy would ask him to cheer him up, so he wanted to try it.
She didn't reply at first, just sniffling a bit. "...existed." She replied quietly, not looking up from her lap.
That didn't help to clear up much. He nudged her softly, speaking softer as well. "You okay Kasey?"
She sighed softly. "Ye-..." She stopped, hesitating before taking a shaky breath. "No..." She replied quietly. "I'm stressed the hell out..."
"I'm sorry. I know all of this is hard to handle." He knew he got stressed just thinking about her being in these situations, so for her it must've been ten times the stress or more! If he had any way of fixing every wrong thing in her life, he would do it.
She chuckled weakly. "You shouldn't be the one apologizing... but the ones who should be never will..."
"Unfortunately you'll find that's the way the job goes. Those who are in the wrong will never see themselves as doing anything but what's right by them." Matt explained gently.
"I hate that..." she mumbled, rubbing at her face. "I hate that even if we do lock them up, make them pay for what they did- That it doesn't fix what they did... That we're stuck with the consequences of their actions..."
"We'll make it right by them, all those who weren't able to escape. We'll make it so the experimenters and everyone else under that corporation never sees the light of day again." He wished he could blind them as they did her.
"But it doesn't bring them back." She replied, more tears starting to fall. "It doesn't give me my eyes back-" She shook her head. "It doesn't bring those families their children back-" She rubbed at her face as she started breaking down again. "It's not fair-"
Matt wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him as he tried to calm her. "I know, Kasey, I know. They can never be forgiven, but they can be punished."
She buried herself into him as she cried. "I-It's not fair-" She choked out again, grasping his shirt in her hands as she trembled.
He hated hearing her cry. It elicited such a sad feeling from him that he couldn't stand. He hated that he couldn't make her feel better just like that. "I know it's not, I'm sorry."
She just kept sobbing as she clung to him, her whole body shaking as she did.
Matt ran his hands in circles along her back, just letting her let it all out.
She cried for a while and it slowly started to subside when she finally spoke again. "Why am I the only one who made it out?" She asked quietly. "I- I wasn't one of the ones who had a family or friends looking or waiting for them-" She was still shaking, tears still running down her face.
"I don't deserve this-"
"Kasey-" Matt was horrified to hear her even thinking like that. He had heard mentions of survivors' guilt, but it was deeply saddening to hear her struggling with it. "Don't ever say that about yourself. If it wasn't for you, we never would've found out what those people were doing."
"If it wasn't for me, Peter and Aurora wouldn't have been kidnapped with me! If it wasn't for me, they'd still be hidden from them! If it wasn't for me, you never would have gotten hurt!" She argued back, letting out another sob. "None of this would've happened like this!" She rubbed at her eyes, looking away.
"They probably would have still investigated, without any of this happening had I just hit the ground instead-"
"Kasey!" Matt exclaimed, shocked at the fact she had even mentioned something like that.
"I know for a fact your friends do not hold any of that against you! It wasn't your fault! None of it was!"
"How?! How was it not my fault when they were after me?! They're only this bold because I escaped again- because we started fighting back-" She argued back, her voice distorting a bit.
"I wasn't supposed to make it out- I'm not even supposed to be here and I'm the one who made it?! It's not fair- I shouldn't have been the one to make it!" She pulled back from him, tears still running down her face.
"And I don't even know why any of you care so much! None of you knew me! None of you know me! Why did they bother hanging around? Cause they felt sorry for me? Is that why Tony let me stay at the tower? Because they pitied me?"
"No!" Matt exclaimed again, reaching out to pull her back. He needed to stop this spiral before it went too far. "You've got to stop thinking like that Kasey! It's destructive to yourself, you're going to end up feeling worse because of it!"
"Then tell me! Tell me why the hell they hung around! Why you're hanging around!" She pulled away again. "Tell me why the hell I deserved to make it when I'm not even supposed to exist here!"
"Because we care about you!" Matt insisted, desperate for her to not go down this path. "You've become someone who's grown so close to us!"
"But why?!" She asked him. "Why do you care?! Why do they care?! I'm just some random girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time!" She replied.
"It doesn't make sense to me- Why else would they have tried to get to know me other than pity? Or feeling somehow responsible for me?"
Matt frowned. It was so frustrating, he had no idea how to pull someone out of thoughts like these. Claire would've known had she been here. He sighed heavily. "You don't need a reason to be loved, Kasey. You don't have to prove yourself to be deserving of friends and family."
"But I-" She started when Claire, as if summoned by Matt thinking of her, came in and sat with them.
"Kasey, Matt's right. We care about you because we have gotten to know you. To see you, the true you. I know this is hard and overwhelming. But pushing everyone away will make it worse." She put a hand on her shoulder as Kasey cried.
"I-I-" She tried but it died in her throat as she gave another cry, Claire pulling her close.
"We're here, Kasey. Because we want to be here. We want to help you."
"Don't ever think we're just keeping you around." Matt spoke softly, pulling the both of them close as well. He wanted Kasey to know how much he cared about her. "We love you Kasey. More than you know."
Claire rubbed her back gently as she froze up in their embrace before clinging to them both, crying harder as she trembled.
"It's okay... we're not leaving you, alright? We're staying right here." Claire reassured her as she cried. It hurt her heart to see her this way.
She was trying to calm back down as she clung to them before she quietly managed to mumble, "I- thank you... I love you too..."
Matt let out a sigh and relaxed somewhat. He really needed to get better at dealing with emotional issues. If Claire hadn't come, he didn't know if he'd been able to bring Kasey down from that spiral. "If you ever start thinking about those things again, I'd like for you to come tell us, okay?"
Kasey hesitated but nodded, her head rubbing against his chest as she did. "Mkay..." She replied quietly. She sounded thoroughly exhausted.
Matt planted a soft kiss against the top of her head. "You want to head to bed? I can go with you." He offered, hearing how exhausted she sounded.
She melted at the gesture and nodded a bit. "Please..." She agreed softly.
Matt stood back up, helping Kasey up with him. "C'mon, let's get you to bed."
She stumbled to her feet and pressed up against his side, sleepily.
Claire stood up as well and chuckled softly seeing her clinging to him like that. "Kasey, are you sure you can walk?"
She stopped and hesitated before trying to take a few steps forward but felt her legs give out from under her, falling into Claire's arms.
She chuckled again. "Guess not..." She replied, Kasey merely humming tiredly in reply.
Matt laughed lightly and scooped Kasey up, much like how he had earlier. She was still easy to carry, and he didn't mind at all. "Guess she wore herself out more than I thought."
Kasey was a bit surprised at first but happily snuggled against him after a moment, a soft hum coming from her.
Claire laughed a bit. "Guess so. You got her?" She asked.
Matt tested her weight for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I've got her."
Claire smiled. "Alright. Do you need me to help you find the room? I know the place is pretty big-"
Matt really didn't, but he nodded anyway. "Yeah. I think it would help."
Claire nodded and led him out of the room and towards the elevator. Once on the top floor, she led him to the room they had turned into a fort.
"They thought it would be a great idea to put this up." Matt explained the fort to Claire, inviting her in. He went deeper into the fort, to set Kasey down on the blanket nest from earlier.
She laughed a bit as she looked around. "It's pretty impressive, actually." She acknowledged.
And he tried to put Kasey down but she had a good grip on him and was fast asleep.
Matt laughed softly. "Guess I'll be staying here tonight too." He managed to get them both onto the blanket nest, in a comfortable position.
Claire laughed at that too. "Guess so. You alright here?" She asked him as she watched Kasey happily snuggle with him.
"Yeah." He thought of something and motioned her over. "You want to stay here too?"
She blinked in surprise and started to reply when Kasey shifted a little bit, still clinging to Matt but sleepily reached out her other arm for her. She chuckled at that and slid her shoes off and carefully settled down on Kasey's other side, effectively sandwiching her between them.
Kasey happily hummed and pressed up against her while staying close to Matt as she dipped back into deeper sleep.
Claire laughed softly. "She's quite the cuddle bug, isn't she?"
"Surprisingly enough, yeah." Matt definitely wasn't used to this sort of affection, but he didn't protest against it. He found a lot of things had changed when Kasey came into his life, and they all had changed for the better.
Claire smiled warmly when Kasey shifted a little bit but stayed fast asleep. She grabbed one of the soft larger blankets and carefully covered the three of them with it. "There..."
Matt turned his head towards the blankets below them, stifling a yawn. "Goodnight."
She chuckled softly. "Goodnight." She replied as she settled down too.
It wasn't long before Matt slipped off into sleep, comfortable in the company of two people he loved.
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