[Heo Moeun]

Mom notices I'm not in the mood for partying and scolds me, "Moeun, remember the agreement. As much as you don't like this situation, you have to endure it. We can't afford to lose this investment because you have doubt over him." She's talking about Sanggyeom.

I ask. "Mom, do you think I'll be able to pull out of this marriage when the deal is over?" We both know we're in all of this solely for money. Plus, Sanggyeom isn't into me. There must be someone else in his heart, but I'm not sure yet. I'll find time to investigate that.

"Be patient, Moeun. Look at the big picture. Investments, assets—and, soon, a family." Frankly, the latter isn't exactly what I want. The idea of having kids from a man I don't love bothers me. They will only be seen as children Sanggyeom and I had in order to earn public attention for ourselves.

Honestly? Fuck her. She made me stop going on dates with Seokhwa, whom I truly loved, just to line hers and the rest of the family's bank accounts. She pulled the same shit with Eunha and Seongeun. The result? Both are in unhappy marriages, stuck in their own dissatisfaction and with barely anyone to confide to.

I want to be my own self, with my own aspirations, not be a human incubator for someone I wouldn't come close to even if he were the last man standing on Earth. I'll make sure this marriage ends as soon as possible, even if the price I have to pay is as high as being outcast from the rest of my family.

***

"I don't think Sanggyeom is a transparent person." As I vent my thoughts, my circle of friends is open mouthed. They barely know him; the fact that I already raise doubts on him, however, surprises them.

Kwon Suha, the daughter of the director of the bank where my family keep deposits and reserve assets, points out. "How can you be sure of that? Has anyone told you anything about him yet? Personally, I met him at the wedding reception for the first time."

I interject. "I don't know, Suha. This is what frustrates me. There's just... something off about him. I need to prove it. I don't know how long I can play pretend."

Jang Kyungsoo, whom I've known since university, has his own insight on the matter. "You have to follow your instinct, Moeun. If you don't think Sanggyeom is the right man for you, then you have to come up with a good exit plan." He's right. I can't stay idling. I need a way to put an end to this marriage without necessarily ruining my family.

"How about you take some time off, claiming some personal issues to attend to?" Seokhwa's suggestion, though intriguing, seems dangerous. "I can lift you up a little bit if you want." He hasn't forgotten me yet even though I'm taken.

"Kim Seokhwa, this is rich of yours... Just admit you wanted to be the one to put the ring on Moeun's finger." This time, it's Park Hyerin talking. She's my trusted personal shopper, the one who always has good advice for me when it comes to outfits.

"Touché. Anyway, Hyerin, that's so obvious. As much as I appreciate Lim Sanggyeom as a man, he's far from being the right one for Moeun." I wish my parents would listen to these words by Seokhwa on a loop.

Meanwhile, Suha retorts. "Why? Are you the one, then?"

"Yes, and you know that."

I intervene to defuse the argument. "Let's not make things worse. Let's keep it down. We're here to strategize, not to fight." After this, everyone apologizes to one another for the chaos.

I reprise the main topic. "So, I suspect Sanggyeom has a secret. Whether it's anything trivial or more serious, I don't know just yet. But I can't trust him." Several of the others sigh out of frustration. They don't understand my reasoning.

"A secret? What makes you think he's hiding something?" This question comes from Lim Hagyeong, who has stayed quiet until now. She has listened to the conversation without engaging with the rest of us; however, this doesn't keep her from making a sharp observation.

I recall. "During the exchange of vows, he seemed strained. He was distracted, as if there was something, or someone else, occupying his mind." I wonder if it has to do with his family's situation. I mean, they agreed to the infamous deal too. What if they change their mind?

I don't let out this thought directly. Instead, I turn my focus on Sanggyeom's facial expressions during the reception. "He was better than me at hiding his discomfort. However, I still think he has bigger fish to fry than me."

"To find out, you have to figure out who's part of his close circle." Hyerin's suggestion meets general approval. In particular, Seokhwa and I nod in agreement.

"There's this one girl, Oh Saeryeong, who knows him very well." Kyungsoo's latest piece of information shocks me. What does he mean with that? How close is that Saeryeong girl to Sanggyeom? Have they had feelings for one another in the past?

A lot of questions on the plate, but I don't think any of the others can answer for me. Therefore, I have to follow Hyerin and Kyungsoo's advice and starting tracking Saeryeong's movements. How, though? I can't afford to make a faux pas, or I'll pass off as a stalker.

We all shift to more lighthearted topics such as the latest gossip or plans for future holidays. "We should definitely go back to doing those trips across Europe like the good old times," is Seokhwa's latest suggestion.

My reaction is so enthusiastic that betrays a feeling of liberation. "Why not? If it were for me, we'd leave tomorrow!" I start laughing to pretend this is a joke. However, I wish it weren't. I need time away from the drama, and to have Sanggyeom out of my hair. After all, we're only married for business.

Suha intervenes. "Okay, I think you're going a little overboard, Moeun. Let's plan it first, how about that?"

"Sorry, I just felt the rush of excitement at the idea. Truthfully, we all need some time away from Seoul. What do you think?"

Among the others, Kyungsoo scratches his head, Hyerin taps a finger on her chin, while Suha takes a deep breath. There has to be something that keeps them from wanting a break. Maybe commitment to their jobs, or family life.

I mean, it doesn't take much to have a less intricate, simpler and quieter family life than mine. Although it's hard for me to assume the others all have loving relatives who don't put business above anything else, I can say clearly I envy them.

Anyway, the gathering ends on a quiet note as we finish our drinks. Out of generosity, I offer to pay for everyone, which the rest accept without condition. As we leave the lounge, Seokhwa stops me on my tracks. "Thank you for these hours together, Moeun. Hopefully we'll see again soon."

"I hope too. Have a good night." After he leaves and I notice the others have also dispersed, I'm alone with my thoughts again. I have to go back to facing reality. A reality that consists of a loveless marriage and two sellouts for parents.