Well shit. Alone once again, confused, nervous, scared, is there are anything I missed?

I'm fucking tired of all of people's shit. My life is a wreck.

"Fuck this..." I thought to myself. "Why did I have to be the most hated?" I thought again.

I lay on my bed c-crying. Yes I'm crying, make a big fucking deal out of it, see if I give a shit.

What if I killed them? W-what if I did what would they do then!?

My eyes widen with a sick twisted smile on my face. Then I realize...

I... I'm so fucking stupid. Stop thinking. "Fuck.. Fuck..." I mutter to myself.

He won't be my friend.. Jay is going to leave isn't he? I'll be all alone.

I run to my night stand. I search in the drawer. I smile, got it...

I sit on my bed.... the pain will be relieved.

(CAUTION IF YOU HAVE TRIGGERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SKIP THIS PART)

I look down, tears streaming from my face. "There making me crazier then I already am." I mumble.

What I have in hand right now... my razor. I put it to my arm.

I close my eyes to let me keep the anger and sadness in. I take a deep breathe.

I all of a sudden let go of my breathe and start cutting like crazy. Smiling at all the blood coming from my arm.

I'm phyco...the blood drives me mad. It gets my heart going.

I guess that's all I get from isolation... revenge, anger, craziness, no civilization, and a lot of other things. There's something wrong with me..

(END OF CAUTION)

After I'm done I go grab my spare napkins I have in my room. No need for stains.

I wipe my arm off. I lay my head down on my pillow, fuck i hate my life so much... i just want this to end.

Enough now alec, just... stay happy for the ones who really care... you go this, i'd close my eyes and soon fall asleep.

(Le time skip)

I'd wake up and do all the same one except one thing, i'd look in the mirror after getting out of the shower and stuff, "alec... your... gonna give him a chance..." i'd sigh, "i'm just desperate at this point..." i'd stomp my foot, "fuck." then on with the same old process, only other thing is that.. jason didn't get on the bus.

i'd get to school and walk through the hallway with my head down and my ear buds in, the song rang through my ears making my life a bit easier only because it blocked out all the voices, "Hey, how you doing? well, i'm doing just fine. I lied, I'm dying i-i-inside." the song sang.

I'd walk to my locker and open it putting my books into my back pack, until.. i feel a tapping on my shoulder, i'd pull the right earbud out of my ear, "what is it?" i'd turn my head only to see the new kid, "oh sorry... hey."

he'd wave and smile happily, "hey alec! how was your morning?" he cares enough to ask how my morning went? "it was.. ok." i'd close my locker, "hmm.. thats good, anyway lets eat lunch together again!" why is he so happy? "uh.. sure thing." i'd smile awkwardly and put my backpack on, "well.. got to go to class.." he would lighten up a bit, "can i walk with you? were in the same class." oh i forgot he was.. "sure why not."

we'd start walking though the long hallway, "hey i asked but you never answered... whats your name?" he'd smile again, "oh! my name is jeremy." hmm.. finally i found out, "nice, well.. all i have to say is that its nice to meet someone like you." he stopped in his tracks so i'd stop walking as well.

he.. hes.. blushing, "uh.. you ok?" he'd shake his head, "oh yeah! of course! just.. thought i saw something." i'd sigh, "oh ok, well lets get going to class." he'd nod and follow me, i'd walk along, "hey you into like... jokes but like puns?" i'd lighten up a bit, "hell yeah! I have no idea why people think they are so stupid i love them, i find them very enjoyable."

he'd smile, "cool! I find them enjoyable too, I mostly like skeleton puns, only because there easy to make puns out of." i'd nod my head, "yeah i noticed that as well." we'd get to the class room door, "only people who are humerus would get it." I'd open the door laughing, looking in i'd notice people looking at me and whispering to each other.

i'd sigh and actually ignore them only because i'm pretty.. happy right now, this guy is cool, "I like him." i'd walk to my seat as he follows behind since he sits right beside me, "anyway i like doing like art and things like that, i honestly hate school.. a lot." he'd look at me and frown slightly, "hmm.. well i usually like school especially when there's a good reason to come."

i'd sigh, "there's no good reason to come except jason and now that your here, you." i'd look at him and smile slightly, he'd get all flustered again, "right, heh.. well i'm glad to be here for you plus i like seeing you smile i haven't seen you smile before since when i told you that pun." i'd sigh, "yeah.. i'm not much of a smiler only because i never really have anything to smile about.." i'd look down, "look, i'd like to get to know you more and you know your pretty cool, wanna hang out? this weekend i mean since you know no school, heh." i'd smile again, "sure why not, oh but when we get our break for lunch is also a good time too."

he'd nod his head, "true sounds good."

~Le time skip to lunch time.~

"Ok so lets sit here." he'd give me a gesture to sit at a empty table, "looks good." we'd sit and i'd smile slightly, "ok so what i wanted to go over is.. why do you stay hidden? why are you.. bullied?" i'd stop smiling suddenly.. well.. i'm scared to say.. "well.. promise you won't tell anyone?" he'd nod his head and smile warmly, "well.. no one at all likes me.. they think i'm weak and that i'm a freak only because of the way i look and dress.. but.. i gave hope into someone and they just threw my feelings away... like i was nothing.."

he'd frown a little, "well.. i won't ever do that to you! that's just rude and the bullying thing.. i'm here for you, promise." i'd smile, "your really cool, but anyway enough sad crap, tell me about you." he'd sigh, "well i just transferred here because my dad had to work some where else because he hated his last job so it made me have to go to school here! but it wasn't a problem i barely had friends anyway."

he went silent for a while, "only because i was home schooled for a while, and my parents wanted to try something new for me, i already knew how to do comebacks and stuff because i was online a lot, so when people insult me it never really hurts my feelings or anything." i'd smile slightly, "well at least we both know how it feels to be alone for a while, well i mean i have jay which is great but hes starting to ignore me and drift away."

he'd sigh, "i'll always be here for you bud!" he'd smile widely at me, "Heh.. That's nice to hear." I replied with a light smile as I rolled up my sleeves lightly so i cold eat my lunch with out getting anything on my long sleeves. I took a bite of my sandwich, as I chewed it up I glanced over at Jeremy as he stared at something. I swallowed my food, "What..?" I asked and he just responded by reaching down and grabbing my arm, "Alec?"

He said softly, "Why did you do this too yourself?" He asked as I looked down at my arm seeing my cuts that were everywhere all over my arm, my heart began to race as I became hesitant, "I-I.." I pulled my arm away, "I have to go." I said and stood up as I began walking away, "Alec! wait please!" I began to run as I pulled my sleeves down and put my hood on, "Alec!" I heard Jeremy's voice behind me so I began running faster, I'll just hide in the bathroom!

I kept running as I reached the bathroom and ran inside, I think I lost him.. We were having such a good time.. I went into a stall and sat the on the toilet seat for a second, "Fuck!" I yelled knowing that no one was in the bathroom. I hit myself in the head with my hand of course as I forced myself not to drop a single tear, I took a deep breath but just as I was going to get up I heard, "I'm so pissed!" It sounded like.. one of my bullies' voice. Shit.. I just sat in the stall still, great just my fucking luck!

"Fucking dumb ass..!" the voice began, "Dude it's alright.." A different voice said, "Alright?? Alright?! It's not alright at all!" I heard steps coming closer to my stall as I saw the stall shake a little, "I just..can't fucking.. believe it!" His fists hit the stall harshly as the stall door flung open, I gasped at the sudden movement, "huh?" a grin then plastered on his face, "A punching bag? For me? this outta help calm me down."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOAH I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS BOOK IN YEARS OMFG, so what happened was I saw that one of my followers had added this book to their reading list and was like, I POSTED THAT BOOK SO LONG AGO. So I decided to update ;D BTW the beginning was part of it i did when i first posted this book and i was super depressed and stuffz '3'