It's funny how things never really turn out the way you thought they would. Reality is different from our expectations, and most of the time that doesn't really bother us.

When the unexpected happens, it's usually not an issue. We barely notice the difference between our expectations and reality, and we live our lives as if none of it mattered.

Then there are other times -- when our anticipation takes root and grows over months or years of waiting -- when real life pales in comparison to our fantasies. The more eager we grow, the more painful the experience is when it's not what we wanted.

That's the issue with expectations: We usually overshoot them. We expect more than we're likely to get.

We aim for perfection, but we discover that reality isn't so different from the lives we've been living. Optimism is a wonderful thing until it blinds you.

It's important to be optimistic, but it's just as important to be realistic. It's necessary that we understand the statistical chances of one thing happening versus another.

The more you accept that there is always a chance that things won't go the way that you think they will, the less likely you are to be caught off-guard when that happens.

Unfortunately, I've come to learn that sometimes -- no matter how aware you are that things may not work out -- there is no such thing as sufficient mental preparation.

Not all of your hopes and dreams are going to come true, and when one of them dies in front of your eyes, it hurts more than you could possibly imagine.

And if that dream is a future with someone you love, your world will be turned upside down. Seeing the person you love fall in love with someone else can kill you. I know because it almost killed me.

I've been in love with the same girl for over a decade now. She was the one I always believed I'd end up with; I was convinced that no matter how many times either of us screwed things up, we'd eventually come back to each other.

And I recently had the opportunity I'd been dreaming of: We had another chance to give things a shot, it seemed.

But I learned she was running to me because she was running away from someone else -- a man she now loves.

He's no good for her, but she feels for him immensely. And that's one of the reasons I've always loved her so much; she has an immense capacity for love.

I tried loving others, but it never worked out. I guess that's why it was so incredibly difficult to see her in love with another man. I thought that if I couldn't find love again, she must feel the same way.

I believed she would love me for the rest of her life, as I will love her for the rest of mine. But that wasn't -- isn't -- the case.

So I closed the door on a love affair that changed my life and taught me more than anything else ever could. When you see the person you love fall in love with someone else, it breaks you.