chapter five
chapter five : the reckoning
things were more than tense when albus found himself stuck in the courtyard with rose and scorpius later on that friday afternoon. after classes and lunch, rose had waited for scorpius and albus outside the great hall - they hadn't even seen her leave - and she pulled them roughly towards the courtyard with little regard for whether she was strangling them in their robes or not.
"ouch, rose, stop!" scorpius cried out, pulling away from the redheaded girl as she all but threw them against the low wall. where could a girl of her stature possibly hide all that brute strength?
"you absolute arsehole!" rose spat at her boyfriend and while she was glaring at the blond, albus scurried up the wall.
"rose, i-"
"four months, scorpius. for four months, i've been with you and stood beside you for every step of the way, and you can't even acknowledge our anniversary?" she was nearly screaming now. albus silently prayed his cousin wouldn't attract an audience.
"i looked for you yesterday, rose! i couldn't find you!" scorpius tried to reason and the redheaded girl held up her hand to silence him. fire rested in her icy blue eyes.
"you obviously didn't look for me hard enough, because i was right here!" she gestured at the wall. "i was with albus. assuming you weren't looking for me, you at least could've been looking for him. you found neither of us though. not either one of us."
"i'm sorry i didn't think to look here, rose. i checked places you frequented. i begged a gryffindor to let me into the tower to see if you were in there. but then curfew fell, and i knew i had to get back to the dungeons." scorpius explained himself, but still it appeared his girlfriend was having none of it.
"and there you go again, being a good boy who follows the rules. in bed by curfew, serving detentions... where was that good boy over the past four years, when you were wreaking havoc with albus? or do those rules and attitude not exist with him?" she mocked him and both of the boys winced.
"rose, you're being unfair." albus joined into the conversation, not liking the venomous undertones erupting.
"remember our little chat last night, albus?" the redhead turned to him. blue met green. "you're always there to defend him. no matter what. even if he's entirely in the wrong, you're defending him. no matter what."
"rose, he's my best friend."
"and you're mine. you're my family, which overlies anything else. family is the most important thing. we're blood, albus, and you're never there for me." she seemed as though she were going to cry. her venom was melting away, and in its place left a sad, desolate girl.
"rosie, i love you. i'd never intentionally harm you, or albus for that matter. you're my everything." scorpius claimed and albus stared at the blond - heart clenching. rose's gaze remained on her cousin and she saw the way his eyes betrayed him. she saw everything.
"i'm not your everything. neither one of yours." she said and her voice was barely above a whisper.
"what do you mean?" scorpius asked and albus looked equally confused.
"it's so obvious!" she exclaimed, staring between the boys in disbelief. "everything, absolutely everything that's ever happened between you and i, scorpius..."
"rose-"
"it's not love that you have for me, it's a like. you like me. you like dating me. you like calling me your girlfriend, but you don't love it. because you're not supposed to love it. that's not what was designed for you, in the grand scheme of things. your eyes don't twinkle when you see me: they just don't." she interjected him again.
"i do love you."
"oh, sweet, sweet scorpius," she stepped forward and placed her thumb under his chin. "you loved the idea of being with me, of just how normal being with me would be. but our relationship was never meant to last... hell, i doubt it should've even started."
she was staring at albus.
"why do you keep looking at him, rose?" scorpius asked, highly confused. albus understood everything in that instant and his eyes filled with fear. rose saw this and she winked at him. she was okay with this. there would be no hard feelings.
"i think you two need to have a little talk, scorpius." she said and then leaned forward and kissed his cheek. it was final. a goodbye. "you boys, so incredibly clueless."
she walked away, and the two of them were alone. so obviously alone.
---△⃒⃘---
albus had never been so afraid in his life than he was in that moment. again, his brother's words about eyes and betrayal reverberated in his head, and he thought about how easily rose had seen through him.
'you're in love with him!' james' voice came and albus shook his head, turning away from scorpius. because even though rose had given him her unspoken blessing, it still felt wrong.
he pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face. the air was cold outside, and he hadn't been dressed nearly warm enough for the late mid-september chill. he breathed in and breathed out, trying to calm himself. but breathing made him think of scorpius, ofthe night before - the night when things had most definitely been sabotaged, and now, thanks to rose herself, things were no more.
"albus?" scorpius' voice rang, but the black-haired boy refused to lift his head. he kept his face hidden in his palms, shivering slightly. suddenly, he felt another weight add itself to his shoulders - physically, not metaphorically. he glanced up and saw that scorpius had taken off his robes and draped them over his best friend.
when he saw that he had albus' attention, he spoke: "i think i'm starting to understand."
"understand what?" albus figured it was best to play dumb incase things went terribly bad. incase everything was ruined. if things went bad, rose had ruined it. she had sabotaged this like albus had almost sabotaged them. wow, those with weasley blood certainly did think alike.
"you, me... this," scorpius gestured between himself and albus, and the green-eyed boy followed his hands. "and i'm so ashamed that it took me this long to see it."
"to see what?" albus bit his lip, bracing himself. scorpius stared at him, anguish in his grey, stormy eyes.
"please, please don't play dumb. you're too smart to play dumb. you get it. you understand. you understand it better than i do, honestly." the blond begged.
"it's called guarding oneself, scorpius. it's what people do when they're not ready to be hurt." albus explained, sighing deeply. he crossed his arms over his chest, scorpius' robes sagging around him. he was enveloped in the scent of him: pine, mint... sharp, stimulating scents.
"and that's where you've obviously missed something, albus, because i made a promise not to hurt you, and as a malfoy, i'm determined to not go against my word," he paused and suddenly he was standing in front of albus, and the boy's eyes were wide with fear, or want, or something. "but names aren't everything, you must understand, and that's where relationships come into the picture. as your friend, i am even more determined to keep you safe. i won't let anything hurt you, not even myself."
"it's a bit late for that, scorpius." albus whispered, eyes still locked shamefully on the blond's. "it's a bit too late to make those kinds of promises when it's already happened."
"but we can start anew, albus. make new promises. you love me, albus. more than a best friend loves his best friend. you're in love with me." scorpius said matter-of-factly.
albus remained silent. he closed his eyes, tired of them betraying him. with every bit of his willpower, he fought the urge to lean forward and brush his lips against scorpius'. he couldn't do it. he wouldn't do it. but then, he knew it wasn't himself doing it, but it was definitely happening.
he wanted to open his eyes; he wanted to see himself and scorpius kissing, but he wouldn't let it happen. he wouldn't ruin the moment - heaven forbid he open his eyes and this all be some messed up dream. scorpius pulled away; it had been him that initiated the kiss, but soon his forehead was resting against albus', whose eyes were still closed, who was still seated on the low wall in the courtyard - alone with the boy he was so hopelessly in love with.
"fresh starts, new beginnings. a reckoning, a change. a promise: a very serious promise. a promise to be there for each other. no matter what." scorpius whispered against albus' lips and the latter boy smiled serenely. he kept his eyes closed, and brushed his mouth against the taller boy's once more.
"no matter what."
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