Canley smiles as Ashley reaches for the plastic toy in front of her. She has been busying herself with Ashley today trying to keep her mind off of all the depressing thoughts that threaten to cloud her brain.

"Hey, Canley, you want to go, uh, feed with me?" Cullen's voice drags her gaze from the baby in her arms.

Her gaze meets his for a split second before darting to the floor, "I don't know, I need to get Ashley to bed."

He sighs and drags his hand across his face. For real?! I can't even talk to you because of that baby! "Okay, don't worry about it then."

"Cullen that's not what I meant!" She cries sighing.

He shakes his head, "You know what forget it! You have changed a lot of the years and apparently I don't fit in now." He huffs and walks away being sure to make that his disappointment and hurt is evident.

Shaking her head she fights back the tears. What have I done? I thought it was the right thing and since everything has gone completely wrong! She perches Ashley on her arm and runs up the stairs. If this what it felt like to get pregnant in high school she pities the poor girls. Just as she secures Ashley's diaper a soft knock at the door meets her ears. She turns and shoves a soft fake smile to her face. Her mom smiles and steps closer.

"You've been crying, what's wrong?"

Canley sighs, "Everything? Ever since I agreed to take on Ashley things have been falling apart. I am not in a sling, can't carry on a conversation with Cullen and am literally an emotional mess."

"Aw sweety, you've taken on a lot. Things don't stay the same forever, not even with friends. Now I'm going to take this little princess of a while, you go do something you need to do."

Canley smiles, "Thank you so much, mom!"

"Your welcome, now get out of here."

Scurrying down the stairs a smile as wide as the Rio Grande is long graces her face. Maybe, just maybe she could prove to Cullen that a baby wasn't the only thing on her mind. She slides on her old brown boots and plunks on her hat before jogging out the door and towards the barn.

Catching Cullen mumbling to himself she heads to the feed room and grabs two of the already filled buckets. She takes them to Prince and the mare in the stall just next to him. Cullen's foot steps stop abruptly making it hard for Canley to keep her laughter in.

"What are you doing out here? I thought you had a baby to get to sleep." He mocks shaking his head and his hands on his hips.

She shakes her head and grabs another bucket, "Well sometimes I can get out from under my new responsibility for a little bit."

He scoffs, "What? You leave her with the teddy bear?"

"No, actually my mom has her. So what's on your mind?"

He stops in his tracks and looks at her intently, "What makes you think I have something on my mind?"

"It may have been two years since we spent much time together, but you still get that nervous jumpiness and always think someone is going to figure it out when you have something. Spill."

He sighs, "Fine, but your not going to like it."

"Like I have anything else you have said to me?" She mumbles sitting on a hay bale and reclining against the fence.

He sits on a bale across from her and stares at his hands, "I like you, a lot. Like not as a sister anymore. You've changed and I know I said that I didn't like that, but I do. You are beautiful, caring, and you are making me have a hard time seeing straight, but I can't wrap my mind around how a relationship could possibly work with a baby in the middle of it." He takes a deep breath and forces himself to man up and look her in the eye. "I just don't want to screw things up even though I probably already have."

Not knowing what to say or how to react she just sits there. He just told me that he likes me and that he wants to be more than friends, but yet he has been doing anything but showing that. Dong guys are weird!

"Can, say something before I go insane."

She shakes her head, "I don't know what to say. You have been doing anything, but showing me that you have any feelings besides dislike towards me and now you spill all of this? How am I suppose to react?"

"I don't know." He shakes his head.

"When I first saw you in the hospital I couldn't pry my eyes away. You aren't the dude that I try and beat up anymore. You are handsome, tough and I could still tell you have your soft side. Pursuing a more serious relationship sounds amazing, but Ashley is a part of my life now and there isn't any going back, not now that Levi isn't making it back." She chokes on her last words.

Cullen replays her last sentence in his head. Ashley's parentless? "So, um, that means you have her full time now?" He stutters.

She nods.

"That scares the crap out of you, huh?" He asks sitting beside her.

She smiles, "Yeah, it does."

He smiles and wraps his arm around her shoulders, "See I haven't forgotten your quirks either." He pauses, "So about a serious relationship, are you serious?"

"Yes I'm serious, are you?"

He meets her quizzical gaze, "Yes, I am very serious. I just always envisioned being married for a year or so before kids got in the equation."

"And you think I wanted this?" She shrieks.

He takes his hat off and pulls at his hair, "No! That is not what I was saying."

"No your saying that it's my fault you are having second thought about us being a thing. I thought that we might be able to make this work, but I guess I was wrong because obviously you don't think it would work out!" She rages standing up and speeding out the barn.

Cullen throws his hat and curses under his breath. "I can't do anything! I just screw everything up!" He yells.
***
Canley slides into her fuzzy pajamas and throws herself in bed. She cuddles Ashley to her side and the tears come like a hurricane. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed a serious relationship was a good thing. Still, what would he said then? She sighs and wipes the tears away, crying never did anyone any good.

Kissing the top of Ashley's head she climbs out of the queen size bed and rummages through her bag. She pulls out her worn bible and uses her phone as a light to flip to Isaiah 54:10. For the mountains may depart and the hills removed, but my loving kindness shall not depart from you; neither shall my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has mercy on you. Closing her eyes she lets the words sink in.

Christ wouldn't give me more than I can handle and leave me to it alone. All I have to do is call out to him.

"Heavenly Father, I know I haven't been real close and I'm sorry, but Lord I need you right now more than ever. I am lost, confused, scared and ready to hide. I need your guidance. In Jesus name I pray, amen," She whisper prays. Feeling peace over take her she slips back in bed beside the sleeping baby. Just as she is about to drift off into slumber a car door sound jolts her back to life.
***
Cullen throws his bag in the bed of his pickup and walks back to the house. He shuts off the kitchen light and glances towards the stairs. With a nod he turns back to his old Ford Pickup.

He starts the engine and glances back to the house cursing when a light pops on. His mind tells him to hit the gas and get out of sight, but his heart tells him, just a minute longer. Staring out the windshield at the front door he holds his breath. Maybe just maybe it will be Canley begging him to stay. Telling him she forgives him for fearing the worst and she wants to give him another chance. He counts to ten and when no one comes out he sighs and backs out of his parents drive way.

A/N
So you just thought it was going to be all sweet. 😂😝 What's your favorite part so far?