Don't ask me why my inspo for these comes on Sundays, I know not

TODAY we shall have some SPECIAL GUESTS consisting of RORIC, MALCHIN, CATALINA, AND BRUTUS aka my SALT SQUAD (i came up with that just now) WITH a special addition of KARAYAN for the express purpose of ANNOYING EVERYONE ELSE (it's actually a good thing im reaching the dead brain stage at 11:30 pm because it means my sleep schedule is getting better) WITHOUT FURTHUR ADO

Where do you live? 

Catalina: Who are you, the government?

Brutus: Mind your own business

Roric: Depends

Malchin: In some cheap apartment so I can spend my money on the stuff that really matters

Catalina: Like what, coffee? 

Malchin: Well, if I buy coffee for friends it counts on spending money on friendship and that's what reall matters :)

Catalina: It's ok, you can say you're broke and an alcoholic

Malchin: :/

Karayan: Well used to live at my parent's country estate but after their tragic death I moved to the big city and found a nice luxurious villa close to all the most important social centers

*collectives glares and eyerolls*

How much do you weigh? (in which i have never been quite sure about how much a person besides myself should weigh)

Catalina:  About 150

Malchin: ....you weigh more than i do......

Catalina: *flexes* No kidding

Brutus: Does it really matter?

Catalina: Only if you like to brag *flexes*

Brutus: Hmmm

Roric: *is 6'2" and built solidly* I've never really checked

Karayan, eyeing Roric: Probably a little less than him

Roric: I could snap you like a twig

Karayan: fISTICUFFS SIR?

Roric: Oh please

Any major body injuries? 

Catalina: When I was eight I feel from a tree and broke my arm when I was nine I sprained my wrist on a zipline when I was ten I broke my collarbone on a plaground when I was eleven I busted my ankle playing soccer when--

Malchin: For Pete's sake did you have no self-preservation as a child??

Catalina: Well you see, when I was a child, the only thing I cared about was being tough, and what better way to do that than to do risky things, get injured and as a bonus, get desensitized to pain at an early age?

Malchin: ...Does getting beat up in high school count as injury?

Brutus, who has been an hitman and professional hitter for many years: I've had a few 

Karayan: One time I fought a tiger, a bull and a wolf all in the same day and lived to tell the tale >:) 

Roric: The question was about injuries 

Karayan, who was laid up for weeks with many severe and life threatening injuries after said fight: *sweats* Well what about you then?

Roric, a criminal since childhood and longtime thug: I guess the arrow to the shoulder was pretty bad. And the flogging. 

Where did you go to school?

Catalina: Public school

Malchin: Hell. until i got popular that is. 

Catalina: Public school?

Malchin: Public school

Brutus: I would have dropped out of high school but a friend made me at least get my diploma. 

Roric: The school of hard knocks

Karayan: Private tutor 

*collective glares and eye rolls*

Do you play any instruments?

Catalina: I, like any good teenage trend follower, acquired a ukelele with the purpose of teaching myself. It is now in the better hands of a trusted friend.

Malchin, strumming: My mom always wanted me to take music lessons but we could never afford it. She always thought that since my mathy siencey part of the brain was defective I must have an extra arty musicy part of the brain. Having come into better circumstances I have had my fair share of dabbling and had much enjoyment, but dang instruments and lessons are expensive and there's only so much budget I can save for that stuff, cheap apartment or no. 

Brutus: Why do you have a dulcimer? 

Malchin: When one finds a dulcimer at a thrift store of all places, and takes the effort to restring it and learn how to tune it, and since it is a small portable instrument, one likes to carry it around sometimes

Brutus: ... right... Well I haven't done anything with the ukelele Catalina gave me

Karayan: I had lessons in the traditional instruments of Amani when I was young with my private tutor, but few of those skills carried over 

Roric: Got my hands on a harmonica and surprised myself by liking it

Do you have a medical condition?

Brutus: No

Catalina: Doughtiness

Malchin: Charm

Karayan: Charm as well ;)

Roric: Well living a rough life of violent crime does land you with a few... minor... chronic pain issues

Do you want to get married? 

Malchin: Not since my high school girlfriend dumped me :'( 

Catalina: Dude I know you were not thinking of getting married in high school

Malchin: I mean, no I definitely wasn't but I MISS HER 

Catalina: THEN FRICKIN CALL HER

Malchin: I DON'T WANT TO BE A DESPERATE LOSER TRYINA SLIDE BACK INTO HER LIFE LIKE "HEY BABE I'VE TOTALLY CHANGED I'M NOT AT ALL THAT STUPID IMMATURE IDIOT YOU DUMPED" I MIGHT AS WELL SCREAM "TAKE ME BACK PLEASE" AND IF THERE'S ONE THING I DO NOT WANT TO BE IT IS PATHETIC

Catalina: BUT IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER THEN MAYBE BEING PATHETIC WOULD SHOW HER THAT

Malchin: SHE DOES NOT FIND PATHETIC ATTRACTIVE 

Catalina: SO YOU KNOW HER LIKES AND RESPECT THEM YOU'RE ALREADY PAST STEP ONE YOU'RE DOING GREAT

Malchin: YOU MOCK MY PAIN

Catalina: LIFE IS PAIN HIGHNESS. Anyone who says differently is selling something. And no I don't believe I do want to get married.

Roric: Marriage is weird

Karayan: I know you had a stunted early life but even if you had a normal childhood you still strike me as the kind of guy to avoid marriage. Now, I definitely don't see it in the near future, but I'm not so naïve as to completely rule it out. Who knows who fate may bring in my path?

Roric: I hope you know that you also did not have a "normal childhood" mister "private tutor", and marriage has vulnerability written all over it, not to mention things like sharing, and trust. Utterly ridiculous

Brutus: Yeah what he said

Dream job? (in which I discover that my computer has emojis)

Catalina: Mmmm, maybe a combat instructor, or a government agent, or a hitman

Malchin: Nuh-uh you are not tricking me into making that kind of career commitment

Catalina: This is why your high school girlfriend left you, isn't it. 

Malchin: Actually she left me because I was insensitive, immature, and selfish but I am now a nicer man

Roric: Old man sitting on a porch and whittling

Malchin: You can sit on a porch and whittle at any stage of your life

Roric: No, if you do that when you're young you're wasting prime adventure time. The whittling on the porch stage of life is specifically for when your adventuring days are over and you have a bunch of good stories.

Malchin: I'm glad you've put thought into this

Karayan: I'm constantly torn between underworld gangster and pampered noble

Roric: You're already a pampered noble

Karayan: And loving every second 😘😜

Roric: 😒

Brutus: I wouldn't mind being something like a lighthouse keeper, or lumberjack, or solitary farmer

Catalina: Didn't take you for the type

Brutus: Nobody does

How about a few more? 

*collective sighs and reluctant nods of assent*

Do you hate/dislike anything popular?

Catalina: My Junior year of high school I performed a 180 of going with the crowd to going directly against the crowd. You never saw someone change out their high waisted skinny jeans for low rise boot cut jeans so fast. I disliked everything popular

Malchin: Similar experience, but it didn't hit me till after college, and it wasn't as much a spiteful turn of the tide so much as it was a simple jadedness with the world at large that turned me off popular for the sake of popular

Brutus: Cottagecore is dumb

Karayan: Veganism is dumb

Roric: tiktok is dumb

Do you like anything popular?

Malchin: Coffee

Catalina: I think the question was more pertaining to like trendy, coffee has been a constant since it was invented 

Malchin: ... Coffee trends

Catalina: ...Whatever. I changed my mind about the jeans, high waisted is rather flattering. 

Brutus: This was supposed to be a secret, but popular crime shows are fun to watch

Karayan: I like many popular things also don't let it get around I said Veganism is dumb, I don't want to alienate the vegans. 

Roric: The vast majority of trends will fade with time so what's the use getting invested in them?

Karayan: Says the goth

Roric: Dark clothes are PRACTICAL

AAND that's it it's almost one a.m. i have failed my sleep schedule

in other personal news I like star wars now don't tell my ten year old self, i can't sleep over eight hours anymore and I have no idea why, i'm almost done with school YEET, and my cats are great as always 

NINJAS

🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤🐱‍👤

-GadSul