My negative, something that always sticks with me how to make me remember the problem and my choice, he just me, something that can't be forget, just to remind me every bad things that I wish it just disappeared he is negative me, a part of me that want to give up, have negative and dark thoughts about what I should do.. even if it appear, I never let bother me but make me think about my choice and how it let my problems

Negative me: you never been special because there many people out there that doing better then you, helping more people, while you lazy, when they ask you do something, you didn't do it most of the time, you never do think, do you, you can make more of the problem

Yea, something I don't improve but I learn from it and grow, to be better as a person, I want to try it

Negative me: what if they think your lying, and make it up

I don't care what they think, it just be me finally express how I doing since I never been a guy to tell anyone about my problem it be, free of my own pain

Negative sun: are you sure?

I am sure, it be a new step, even I don't know what my future leads, it be something for me to see it

Negative me: * fades away *

* as i walk and appear and just smile *I was inspired by hero when he made his thanks and his problems and how we cheer him up and he inspired me to wrote about mind of by problems is, and I very know I am the most lazy person but love your guys story that make me write more and thanks for that and let us begin

So when I first join the app, I was never been a writer, I just read story since it was very interesting, how amazing it is and I couldn't stop reading it and I love about it, all of it has amazing plot and story that inspired me to write, when I did write, it was so cringe as fuck that I deleted it, but I never give up on it since I have many idea on what to write, what characters should I made and how the plot of the story go, and until I meet.." friend " I meet him in wattpad and we talk for 3-4 years, he is used to be a great guy, when we talk in discord and.. things happen, he always talk shit and think he did nothing when he is the problem, then he say I am a monkey. A black nigga, this wasn't a problem for me since some of my friends say it but for him, he went so much far and he start to compare race which his better then any, and the last is he block me because I am black and it was finally for me to block him and stop all the toxic, I knew it happen but still believe it, I give him a change because he change but now he didn't, I felt like I am a fucking fool, a clown, but didn't realize I always a clown, I even help him when he felt down or when he try to kill himself but I get in return is the BS, what really hurt is that 3-4 years of friends really doesn't matter and it just sucks, my mind told me I should of block him early but I took a risk and lead to this, but I have friends and someone who cares I talk about and they Made me happy, even I have bad times even, sad times in past, when I have family problems, with my dad having problems with my mom family and doesn't trust my aunt, but soon it got better and I hope it stay as it is, I still fear him for reason and I still care for my dad and family, I love them no matter what. My fear is losing someone and even I don't fear death, I still scare to die, I scared to mess everything up. I just hate losing someone and scared because that person means so much to me, they are like my grandma, uncle and grandpa, I lost them and I cry lots, then, I lost my uncle, it hard for me to get used to it because they are the closest people I have, that also goes to the same people I care about now and I happy I meet them, even if we talk less, I will always enjoy there story

Now to, my negative thoughts, sometimes, I never be good enough, I always get mad that I just have thoughts that want me to hurt someone that been a dick to me or, be cruel, sometimes I have thoughts of them being right about me all the time, I never been good enough, I am lazy, I can't reach the goal that everyone did, I just made problem that it just got more problems that I just want to hide and cry on what did I do, I feel pathetic on ehat I do. Everyone said to man up and don't cry, that the worst way to say, because it just bring more pain, and some day, I that I barley care sometimes, and see how my family compares me to someone child and ask why I can't be them, I just stay quite or just order food and watch to forget about it, and it make me have a thought, of hurting myself, and sometimes compate myself to my childhood me, wondering how it change, soon, I meet you guys and your story, when everything get bored, I love to read your story, idea and more, and even talking to you guys make my day better even hard time, I always be happy to talk to you guys, you guys are someone I don't want to lose, you guys are a family to me, I always love to talk and create new idea for you, even rp like our OC talk like brothers I don't think I can ever repay for all you done to make him happy and glad I have amazing friends like you, thank you for everything that you done, and I want to be the best like you guys, make people happy, feel joy and help people in need even if it very hard, I love to help, thank you again, for everything you done, and I actually feel like crying in real life while I typing this, I kinda glad, thanks for reading this, and thanks to the people that help me up, my new goal, is to be better, improve, and look away from the past that hurt me, focus on important stuff, better past that you feel joy, forget negative, because I don't want to give up now, I want to continue to improve

Thank you for everything yet again, no matter what bring you done, you guys found a way to found the light that shine you all

HeroicWolfGuardian
greenbeedrill888
Rajaem74
pksp04
vSlupe
_Ultimate_Writer_
Kaito5382084
Godzillajr2719

Now for me sing 3 song while I cringe, it would make me smile

* play the sound and sing gateful *

Always do it on my own
So I gotta get through it
And the only thing I know
Is to love what I'm doing
Never give up, never slow
Till I finally prove it
Never listen to the no's
I just wanna keep moving
Keep my head up when I act
Head up, that's a fact
Never looking back
I'ma keep myself on track
Keep my head up, staying strong
Always moving on
Feel I don't belong
Tell my thoughts to move along
Push myself to be the best
Die with no regrets
Live with every breath
See my message start to spread
And I have so many dreams
Then you hit your teens
Life ain't really what it seems
Try to find out what it means
Always do it on my own
So I gotta get through it
And the only thing I know
Is to love what I'm doing
Never give up, never slow
Till I finally prove it
Never listen to the no's
I just wanna keep moving
Yeah, I put out all this art
It's my only medicine, yeah
Everything I do
I'm just being genuine, yeah
I'm sick of being screwed
Feel my own adrenaline, yeah
I do just what I do
And I hope you let me in, let me in, yeah
I'm grateful, oh yeah
Able, oh yeah
I'm stable, oh yeah
No label, oh yeah
You know me, I have
Only a path
I'm lonely, but damn
I'm going to win, yeah
I don't want no fake love
I want the real stuff
Everybody listen up
'Cause I'll only say it once
I'm gon' show you all the path
If you want it bad
I'm gon' show you where it's at, yeah
How you can get it back, yeah
'Cause I ain't never done
I'll be number one
Working hella hard
Until I get just what I want, yeah
Rise just like the sun, yeah
Fatal like a gun
Shooters gonna shoot
And I'm gon' shoot until I've won, yeah
Always do it on my own
So I gotta get through it
And the only thing I know
Is to love what I'm doing
Never give up, never slow
Till I finally prove it
Never listen to the no's
I just wanna keep moving
Yeah, I put out all this art
It's my only medicine, yeah
Everything I do
I'm just being genuine, yeah
I'm sick of being screwed
Feel my own adrenaline, yeah
I do just what I do
And I hope you let me in, let me in, yeah
I'm grateful, oh yeah
Able, oh yeah
I'm stable, oh yeah
No label, oh yeah
You know me, I have
Only a path
I'm lonely, but damn
I'm going to win, yeah

* stop and sing the next one, fight back song *

You're never gonna make it, you're not good enough
There's a million other people with the same stuff
You really think you're different? Man you must be kidding
Think you're gonna hit it, but you just don't get it
It's impossible, it's not probable
You're irresponsible, too many obstacles
You gotta stop it yo, you gotta take it slow
You can't be a pro, don't waste your time no more
Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?
I don't give a damn if you say you disapprove
I'm gonna make my move, I'm gonna make it soon
And I'll do it 'cause it's what I want to fucking do
'Cause all these opinions and all these positions
They coming in millions, they're blocking your vision
But no, you can't listen, that shit is all fiction
'Cause you hold the power as long as you're driven
You're never gonna make it
There's no way that you make it
Yeah maybe you can fake it
But you're never gonna make it
Are you just gonna take that?
Make them take it all back
Don't tell me you believe that
Are you just gonna take that?
Or will you fucking fight back?
Or will you fucking fight back?
Yeah
You ain't gonna make it, you ain't never ever gonna break it
You can never beat 'em man, they're better than you, face it
Thinking that they give a damn, you're not thinking straight kid
No, they don't give a damn, you got what I'm saying?
I'm not fucking playing, I'll give it to you straight, man
There's too many others and you're not that great, man
Stop what you're saying, stop what you're making
Everybody here knows that you're just faking
Nah, I don't wanna hear it anymore
I don't wanna hear it anymore
All these fucking thoughts, they are not what I need anymore
I'm about to shut the motherfucking door
On all you poor ass haters with your heads in the clouds
Talking out loud so proud
You better shut your goddamn mouths
Before I do more than speak out, it's about to head south
You're never gonna make it
There's no way that you make it
Yeah maybe you can fake it
But you're never gonna make it
Are you just gonna take that?
Make them take it all back
Don't tell me you believe that
Are you just gonna take that?
Or will you fucking fight back?
Or will you fucking fight back?

* stop *

And the final one, and my favorite one

* sing middle child by j Cole *

You good, T-Minus?
Niggas been countin' me out
I'm countin' my bullets, I'm loadin' my clips
I'm writin' down names, I'm makin' a list
I'm checkin' it twice and I'm gettin' 'em hit
The real ones been dyin', the fake ones is lit
The game is off balance, I'm back on my shit
The Bentley is dirty, my sneakers is dirty
But that's how I like it, you all on my dick
I'm all in my bag, this hard as it get
I do not snort powder, I might take a sip
I might hit the blunt, but I'm liable to trip
I ain't poppin' no pill, but you do as you wish
I roll with some fiends, I love 'em to death
I got a few mil' but not all of them rich
What good is the bread if my niggas is broke?
What good is first class if my niggas can't sit?
That's my next mission, that's why I can't quit
Just like LeBron, get my niggas more chips
Just put the Rollie right back on my wrist
This watch came from Drizzy, he gave me a gift
Back when the rap game was prayin' I'd diss
They act like two legends cannot coexist
But I'd never beef with a nigga for nothin'
If I smoke a rapper, it's gon' be legit
It won't be for clout, it won't be for fame
It won't be 'cause my shit ain't sellin' the same
It won't be to sell you my latest lil' sneakers
It won't be 'cause some nigga slid in my lane
Everything grows, it's destined to change
I love you lil' niggas, I'm glad that you came
I hope that you scrape every dollar you can
I hope you know money won't erase the pain
To the OGs, I'm thankin' you now
Was watchin' you when you was pavin' the ground
I copied your cadence, I mirrored your style
I studied the greats, I'm the greatest right now
Fuck if you feel me, you ain't got a choice
Now I ain't do no promo, still made all that noise
This shit gon' be different, I set my intentions
I promise to slap all that hate out your voice
Niggas been countin' me out
I'm countin' my bullets, I'm loadin' my clips
I'm writin' down names, I'm makin' a list
I'm checkin' it twice and I'm gettin' 'em hit
The real ones been dyin', the fake ones is lit
The game is off balance, I'm back on my shit
The Bentley is dirty, my sneakers is dirty
But that's how I like it, you all on my dick
I just poured somethin' in my cup
I've been wantin' somethin' I can feel
Promise I am never lettin' up
Money in your palm don't make you real
Foot is on they neck, I got 'em stuck
I'ma give 'em somethin' they can feel
If it ain't 'bout the squad, don't give a fuck
Pistol in your hand don't make you real
I'm dead in the middle of two generations
I'm little bro and big bro all at once
Just left the lab with young 21 Savage
I'm 'bout to go and meet Jigga for lunch
Had a long talk with the young nigga Kodak
Reminded me of young niggas from 'Ville
Straight out the projects, no fakin', just honest
I wish that he had more guidance, for real
Too many niggas in cycle of jail
Spending they birthdays inside of a cell
We coming from a long bloodline of trauma
We raised by our mamas, Lord we gotta heal
We hurting our sisters, the babies as well
We killing our brothers, they poisoned the well
Distorted self image, we set up to fail
I'ma make sure that the real gon' prevail, nigga
I just poured somethin' in my cup
I've been wantin' somethin' I can feel
Promise I am never lettin' up
Money in your palm don't make you real
Foot is on they neck, I got 'em stuck
I'ma give 'em somethin' they can feel
If it ain't 'bout the squad, don't give a fuck
Pistol in your hand don't make you real
Money in your palm don't make you real
Pistol in your hand don't make you real
Money in your palm don't make you real

* stop * well hope you like the song and again many times I say this, thanks again for making my day better